In last weeks column What is Religion?, what seemed like a thoughtful, intelligent exploration of what it means to be religious, how modern Catholics fit into society and what increasing secularization means for Christians today, ended up being a list of ways religious Americans have been victimized and persecuted by the left. I believe it took real courage for the author to begin with an interesting premise ripe for exploration (what religions decline means for society) and end with a completely unrelated idea. I love a twist ending.
So, because of the bold new ideas brought forth by What is Religion? last week, I believe it would be a fitting tribute to honor the victims of todays greatest villain: progress.
First, we pay homage to marriage, brutally murdered in 2015 by the Supreme Court when same-sex marriage was legalized. As last weeks author wrote, traditional Christians are now the heretics for preaching that marriage is a sacramental union between a man and a woman, which makes our first tribute somewhat special in that we honor two victims: marriage and traditional Catholics. We must remember who the persecuted are here: the traditional Catholics who are being forced to live in a society where people can marry whomever they please. Its chaos!
We continue along the same vein for our second remembrance, cake shop owners and wedding vendors, who not only are forced to see gay people get married, but also are forced to treat them like they would normal people and provide services when the gays patronize their business. Like last weeks author wrote, Bake that cake, bigot, says the state, and the state is not very polite! Here, too, we find a second victim: traditional Christians, who are being forced to relinquish their traditional beliefs in the face of unrelenting progress. Look no further than a few months ago, when a Christian wedding vendor was mercilessly attacked online after refusing to allow an interracial couple to marry on her premises, and this was after she cited her Christian beliefs! Does free exercise mean anything anymore?
We move next to eulogize the white man, yet another victim of this war on tradition. I can think of no better example than the one last weeks author used when he wrote that Beto ORourke had apologized for simply being a white male. Though I can find no evidence of ORourke apologizing for being a white man, I have no doubt in my mind that it happened.
Im sure I dont need to explain to the reader how the white man has been victimized by liberals today. Look to Brett Kavanaugh, whose life was ruined by an accusation of sexual assault, and who has nothing to look forward to anymore aside from a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. Devastating. Now direct your attention towards Louis C.K. Ever heard of him? I doubt it since the liberals canceled him over his mistreatment of women. The poor guy only has 18 more shows this year, only 12 of which are sold out. Congress is also a good example. Only 60% of the House and 71% of the Senate are white men, and this number continues to decrease. The power that white men have held unquestioningly in our society is beginning to slip away, and once more we know the culprit: Progress strikes again. Pour one out for the white man.
Our final victim is truth. This may seem abstract, but bear with me, as last weeks author said it when he discussed the history of discrimination towards minorities: It is clear to me that contemporary liberalism exaggerates this legacy to an absurdly false degree, such that practical Catholics who maintain the Churchs beautiful teachings on life, marriage and sexuality are somehow responsible for centuries of dead queers. I am again in complete agreement with the author. Aside from the occasional historical blip, like the burning alive of homosexuals during the Inquisition, the worst thing Catholics have done to queer people is say things they may not want to hear. Sure, in 1976 Pope Paul VI said that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered and can in no case be approved of. And, yes, in 1986 Pope Benedict XVI said, Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil.
But these are just words. Its true that every instance of LGBT victimization (including physical and verbal abuse) increases, on average, the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times, but if we start blaming Catholics and their complete and utter rejection of gay people throughout history for some of the issues they face today, where would we stop?
Its clear liberals killed the truth of history and exaggerate legacies of discrimination, and they continue to wage war on everything else we hold dear. Once again we see that traditional Christians are the victims of this heretical religion of liberalism. Im sure it wont be long until leftists get their hands on something really important, and we lose another warrior in the fight against progress. Will women become priests? Will blackface be illegal? I shudder to think.
Progress is a mass murderer, and it has claimed countless victims over the years, but there is still something left to protect. Last weeks author hit the nail on the head when he said that traditional Christianity in the West is quite ill, as only 70.6% of Americans are Christian, and Christianity is only the most popular religion in the world by half a billion. Its clear progress is attempting to stamp out Christianity just like it did our previous victims, and we cannot allow that to happen.
So, we must avoid progress at all costs, lest we allow it to take away the things we hold dear. I call upon each of you to bury your heads in the sand. Cover your ears! Refuse to learn from history! Hide yourselves in places where everyone thinks like you! This is the only way we can turn back the tide of progress, and we cannot afford to lose this fight. Godspeed.
Mary Szromba is a senior majoring in philosophy and political science, and shes never been wrong about anything in her entire life. Questions, comments and anonymous love letters can be directed to [emailprotected] or @_murrrrrr on Twitter.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
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