Photo: CHRIS STEWART, SFC

Does anybody know if the ratchet-looking building is an ancient historical artifact?

Does anybody know if the ratchet-looking building is an ancient historical artifact?

CHINA BEACH "Yea, I get it. You might fancy the view of the Golden Gate Bridge if you're a tourist "

CHINA BEACH "Yea, I get it. You might fancy the view of the Golden Gate Bridge if you're a tourist "

One star is too good for it.

One star is too good for it.

Kids were playing in the sewage spilling onto the beach.

Kids were playing in the sewage spilling onto the beach.

Packs of wild dogs and attack bats guarantee a horrible, horrible time.

Packs of wild dogs and attack bats guarantee a horrible, horrible time.

Secluded Baker Beach in San Francisco also earns 4.5 out 5 Yelp stars. It's a popular place for photo shoots and fishermen. But the nudity offends some visitors.

Secluded Baker Beach in San Francisco also earns 4.5 out 5 Yelp stars. It's a popular place for photo shoots and fishermen. But the nudity offends some visitors.

Old, naked pot-bellied men doing "crazy hippy dances in the water" will photobomb your professional photo shoot.

Old, naked pot-bellied men doing "crazy hippy dances in the water" will photobomb your professional photo shoot.

The water is so boring. But the beach is great if you're into creepy old men.

The water is so boring. But the beach is great if you're into creepy old men.

The old, face-squatting man in the "small little gold speedo" ruined our class-cutting sunbathing.

The old, face-squatting man in the "small little gold speedo" ruined our class-cutting sunbathing.

Sand got in my mom's cute snacks!

Sand got in my mom's cute snacks!

Marshall's Beach is known for its glorious views of the Golden Gate Bridge, especially at sunset. But it's the beach's other views that irk some visitors.

Marshall's Beach is known for its glorious views of the Golden Gate Bridge, especially at sunset. But it's the beach's other views that irk some visitors.

OK, it's two stars not one, but we appreciate the snarkiness.

OK, it's two stars not one, but we appreciate the snarkiness.

Beautiful, fun until the oral sex.

Beautiful, fun until the oral sex.

Often socked in by fog or buffeted by wind, San Francisco's Ocean Beach is rarely warm enough to allow sunbathing. Some beach-goers find that unacceptable.

Often socked in by fog or buffeted by wind, San Francisco's Ocean Beach is rarely warm enough to allow sunbathing. Some beach-goers find that unacceptable.

Why can't it be more like Florida?!

Why can't it be more like Florida?!

The place to go for sand flying into your teeth and eyes.

The place to go for sand flying into your teeth and eyes.

What is it with beaches and their seaweed and driftwood?! Can you just have only sand like other beaches?

What is it with beaches and their seaweed and driftwood?! Can you just have only sand like other beaches?

Thornton State Beach is currently closed, but it does offer an overlook.

Thornton State Beach is currently closed, but it does offer an overlook.

Keep Bowser from eating the condoms. Got it. But "shady 49ers winnable thugzs"?

Keep Bowser from eating the condoms. Got it. But "shady 49ers winnable thugzs"?

Waves at Pacifica's Linda Mar Beach (Pacifica State Beach) are generally smaller than at other beaches along the coast. Beginning surfers often work on their technique here.

Waves at Pacifica's Linda Mar Beach (Pacifica State Beach) are generally smaller than at other beaches along the coast. Beginning surfers often work on their technique here.

Full of unsafe, disrespectful kooks surfing.

Full of unsafe, disrespectful kooks surfing.

Rockaway Beach in Pacifica is bounded by cliffs at either end. Experienced surfers can be found catching waves at the southern end.

Rockaway Beach in Pacifica is bounded by cliffs at either end. Experienced surfers can be found catching waves at the southern end.

Your poor surfing skills are not welcome here.

Your poor surfing skills are not welcome here.

Gray Whale Cove State Beach south of Pacifica can be surreal in the fog.

Gray Whale Cove State Beach south of Pacifica can be surreal in the fog.

Who's the pervert here anyway?

Who's the pervert here anyway?

U.S. 1 in Half Moon Bay takes you pass Roosevelt Beach, Dunes Beach, and Half Moon Bay State Beach.

U.S. 1 in Half Moon Bay takes you pass Roosevelt Beach, Dunes Beach, and Half Moon Bay State Beach.

There goes the kids, swept away by the undercurrent.

There goes the kids, swept away by the undercurrent.

Half Moon Bay State Beach is a sprawling expanse of sand. The tides are notoriously dangerous here.

Half Moon Bay State Beach is a sprawling expanse of sand. The tides are notoriously dangerous here.

"Just another damn freakin' beach with sand and water." On the plus side, it has fancy recycling bins.

"Just another damn freakin' beach with sand and water." On the plus side, it has fancy recycling bins.

Poplar Beach in Half Moon Bay allows horses on the beach, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on your point of view.

Poplar Beach in Half Moon Bay allows horses on the beach, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on your point of view.

Maybe horseback riders should carry poop bags?

Maybe horseback riders should carry poop bags?

POPLAR BEACH, HALF MOON BAY

Headless sea lions are ruining the beach for millennials.

POPLAR BEACH, HALF MOON BAY

Headless sea lions are ruining the beach for millennials.

Tunitas Creek Beach Overall, 3 out 5 Yelp stars.

Tunitas Creek Beach Overall, 3 out 5 Yelp stars.

Came for the beach, left for the ER.

Came for the beach, left for the ER.

Fined $400, plus covered with poison-oak rashes. So much for camping.

Fined $400, plus covered with poison-oak rashes. So much for camping.

Sand spiders are not a real thing.

Sand spiders are not a real thing.

"About the sand spiders, I've never seen one." That's because they don't exist.

"About the sand spiders, I've never seen one." That's because they don't exist.

You couldn't pee because everything smelled like pee?

You couldn't pee because everything smelled like pee?

Some visitors to Tunitas Creek Beach which had numerous negative reviews fail to clean up after themselves.

Some visitors to Tunitas Creek Beach which had numerous negative reviews fail to clean up after themselves.

The best of the 1-star Yelp reviews of SF-area beaches

Despite Northern California's foggy, wind-swept coast and its icy ocean water, its beaches generally get good reviews.

On Yelp, most San Francisco-area beaches score between four and five stars the equivalent of a rating of very good.

But not everyone agrees. As beautiful as the Pacific Ocean and the bay are, some beaches earned several one-star reviews the pits. We wondered what prompted reviewers to give them Yelp's lowest rating.

Lots of things, it turns out. Especially dirty bathrooms and naked old men.

THE OTHER PEBBLE BEACH: San Mateo County's unusual geologic formations (Video)

Click through the gallery above for the best of the one-star reviews of San Francisco and the Peninsula's ocean beaches.

Note: A couple of the haters have an ulterior motive. They're obviously hoping their bad review will keep people away so they'll have their beach to themselves. Sneaky!

See the rest here:

The best of the 1-star Yelp reviews of SF-area beaches - SFGate