Kids have always been in the plan for some people, but for the rest of us, it's a challenge to choose between parenting and living a childfree life.

There are of course pros and cons to both but according to the experts thinking about it that way isn't actually helpful.

One piece of advice I got while researching baby indecision was to consider what having a child might be like, as well as what being childfree would bring.

We've put together a range of content about baby curiosity, childfree living and parenting to help you along.

We also wanted to acknowledge that not everyone gets to choose, with infertility affecting about one in six Aussie couples.

The toughest thing about being in limbo, especially for women, is that we don't have a lot of time to figure it out.

Separating desire from decision might sound a bit vague, but actually, you need to work out what you want before you decide what you're going to do. They don't always match up, says Ann Davidman, a marriage and family therapist who has been helping men and women make a call about parenthood since the '90s.

And while you can "research" your way to some certainty, it's got to be the right kind. Rather than ask your parent friends what it's like to have kids, instead ask how they came to make a decision.

Skye was still unsure about becoming a mum even when pregnant with her son, who is about to turn one. We've been following her journey and you can read about her first few months as a mum.

Despite loads of soul-searching I still don't know if I want to have kids and there are men and women struggling with the same thing. But there is a way forward.

There are many reasons people choose not to have kids, including environmental concerns, mental health, desire for freedom, career, a love of pets and pressures to be the perfect parent.

"It's actually a very unselfish decision what sort of world are we bringing children into? Within 20 to 30 years climate change will have made its irreversible mark and life as we know it won't exist," wrote ABC Life reader Aizzy Babette.

I spoke to two young people who opted for sterilisation to make sure they could never have children by accident.

"I feel so relieved and happy and unburdened by the fact I've had it done," said 32-year-old Phil* from Melbourne.

The research shows most people don't regret their decision or "change their mind". Instead, women we heard from spoke about life without kids of their own being "one big adventure" and "a gift".

But it's not a call that comes without judgement from others. Women choosing to not have kids is a trend psychotherapist Zoe Krupka says is often wrongly labelled selfish, shallow and immature.

Men cop it, too the expectation to "leave behind a legacy" came up a lot in the experiences men shared with us. As well as being told "you aren't a real man" until you have a child.

To get to the heart of parenting, colleague Patrick Wright and I went deep with a handful of mums and dads.

We spoke to them about what changes, what's scary, the tough bits and of course what they love most about this whole parenting gig.

"I just like my kids so much. There is something about having people in your life that you would defend to the end of the Earth. I also really like hanging out with them. They entertain me like nobody else," said Christy Newman from Sydney.

Mums and dads at different stages of their parenting career share the best bits of having kids.

I personally loved hearing how great kids were for a laugh. Alesha Kilpatrick told us about the insatiable curiosity of her children and their strange questions.

"For me, the best bit is my children's random questions and sense of humour. 'Mum, what do ladybugs eat?'"

But there is also that weight of responsibility many parents grapple with.

"Initially, we gave our kids over to child care, and we felt a real sense of loss when that happened. You really do worry and look back and think if you're doing the right thing. Even when they're staying with the grandparents, you feel this sense of dread that you're not going to be there to look after them," said Mark Valencia.

And it's probably natural to experience a bit of an identity crisis.

Writer and mum-of-two Carla Gee says she often feels misunderstood, because her life doesn't fall neatly into the categories of "full-time worker" or "stay-at-home mum".

My colleague Sarah Scopelianos also wrote about how babies can change the dynamic of friendships when one of you has a baby and the other doesn't.

Whatever you decide, think of this quote from a Cheryl Strayed advice column.

"There will likely be no clarity there will only be the choice you make and the sure knowledge that either one will contain some loss."

* Name changed for privacy

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Undecided about having kids? Reading this might help - ABC News