On the fourth of July, the United States celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, which to date, happened 241 years ago. Two days before, on July 2, 1776, the Congress for the thirteen colonies voted to declare freedom from British rule. And freedom remains a deeply held value to Americans today.
In America and around the world, another specific group of people greatly value the experience of freedom as well. These are people who are childfree they have no children by choice. Over the years, Ive surveyed the childfree on many topics, and one in particular asked respondents to get to the core of the reason they are childfree. I asked people to answer this question: If you could sum up the reason you are childfree in one word, what would it be?
Of the nearly 600 respondents, here are the top ten words they gave. Starting with #10, which came in at a tie:
And the #1 word people gave as the reason they are childfree: freedom.
Freedom to pursue a life that reflects what is most important to them. Freedom to go after their dreams and goals. Freedom to live their lives as they wish. Many, many childfree see the responsibility of raising children as greatly limiting their experience of freedom. And they value it more than any amount of desire they may have for the experience of parenthood.
From interviewing the childfree since the late 1990s, another word that deserves discussion is relationship. Many childfree who are in committed relationships speak of their concern about how having children would change their relationship, and change it forever. Even if the couple has some level of desire to become parents, ultimately they dont trust that having children would change the relationship in a positive way. To them, their committed relationship is Number One, and many decide that having children is not worth risking what they have right now, which is a great relationship.
For me personally, the two words on the top ten list that resonate most are: disinterest and freedom. Both, however, cluster under a larger word: life. From as far back as my teen years, when I thought about how I wanted to live my life, the experience of parenthood was not something I wanted as part of it. I babysat a lot as a teen, and this experience confirmed these feelings. Over time, I have witnessed loved ones raising their children, and while I see the fulfilling aspects of it, I have never wanted the day-to-day life that parenthood brings or for it to be the central focus of my life.
So, on July 4th, I celebrate what our countrys founders achieved. I celebrate the freedoms we have in our great country, some for which we continue to have to fight. I celebrate the freedom that comes from a life that does not include the raising of children. And I celebrate how this freedom continues to serve as a gateway to learnings, experiences, adventures, and ways of contributing to others and our world that give me a rich sense of fulfillment and purpose in my life.
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Celebrating ChildFreedom on the Fourth of July - HuffPost
- The Childfree Life Index page - December 8th, 2016 [December 8th, 2016]
- The Childfree-by-Choice Pages - December 8th, 2016 [December 8th, 2016]
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- This May Explain Why So Many People Feel Outraged About Childfree Adults - Huffington Post - March 2nd, 2017 [March 2nd, 2017]
- Meet The Twenty-Something Childfree Women Fighting To Be Sterilised - Huffington Post UK - March 7th, 2017 [March 7th, 2017]
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- Overlooking the childfree is a mistake - Spectator.co.uk (blog) - June 7th, 2017 [June 7th, 2017]
- 'Strangers should mind their own business about my child-free status' - Independent.ie - June 8th, 2017 [June 8th, 2017]
- What We Get Wrong About Women Who Don't Have Kids - Refinery29 - June 20th, 2017 [June 20th, 2017]
- The 1 Simple Reason I Decided Not to Have Kids - POPSUGAR UK - June 21st, 2017 [June 21st, 2017]
- Why you should go on a child-free vacation - Femina - June 21st, 2017 [June 21st, 2017]
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- Vacation without Children - Childfree Getaways - TripSavvy - June 24th, 2017 [June 24th, 2017]
- Why am I expected to have children just because I'm a woman? - Irish Times - June 27th, 2017 [June 27th, 2017]
- Can Everyone On RHONY Stop Shaming Carole Radziwill For Not Having Children? - Refinery29 - June 30th, 2017 [June 30th, 2017]
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- While some airlines and restaurants cater to kids, what's a parent to do when others don't? - National Post - August 2nd, 2017 [August 2nd, 2017]
- Calgary bucking national trend of couples with fewer kids, census ... - Calgary Herald - August 3rd, 2017 [August 3rd, 2017]
- How Not To Be A Dick To Your Childfree Friends - August 11th, 2017 [August 11th, 2017]
- The Childfree Life - August 22nd, 2017 [August 22nd, 2017]
- 9 Childfree Women Explain What Life Is Like Without Kids ... - August 25th, 2017 [August 25th, 2017]
- Childfree And Loving It! - February 23rd, 2018 [February 23rd, 2018]
- Efilism | Cool Childfree Guy | Page 2 - March 10th, 2018 [March 10th, 2018]
- Parents secretly hate Snow Days : childfree - reddit.com - March 19th, 2018 [March 19th, 2018]
- Complete Without Kids: a Childfree by Choice Handbook | Complete Without Kids - April 13th, 2018 [April 13th, 2018]
- Childfree or Childless: Does Terminology Really Matter? - May 4th, 2018 [May 4th, 2018]
- Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Childfree ... - May 26th, 2018 [May 26th, 2018]
- Living Childfree - RESOLVE: The National Infertility ... - May 31st, 2018 [May 31st, 2018]
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- Choosing to be Childfree to Live a More Sustainable Lifestyle - January 3rd, 2019 [January 3rd, 2019]
- Complete Without Kids: a Childfree by Choice Handbook ... - January 27th, 2019 [January 27th, 2019]
- How Minimalism Relates to Being Childfree | By: Legally ... - January 27th, 2019 [January 27th, 2019]
- Childfree Places from Restaurants to Events The Site ... - January 27th, 2019 [January 27th, 2019]
- IVFML Season 2, Episode 9: Going From Childless To ... - April 1st, 2019 [April 1st, 2019]
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- Welcome to The Childfree Life | The Childfree Life - April 24th, 2019 [April 24th, 2019]
- Living Childfree - RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association - May 27th, 2019 [May 27th, 2019]
- Why breast cancer was called 'Nun's disease" - Florida Today - September 19th, 2019 [September 19th, 2019]
- Why you should be worried about teacher salaries in Michigan - Detroit Free Press - September 19th, 2019 [September 19th, 2019]
- How babies change the dynamics of friendships - ABC News - October 16th, 2019 [October 16th, 2019]
- Im childfree, not childless heres why that difference matters - Stylist Magazine - October 24th, 2019 [October 24th, 2019]
- My Label and Me: I have 10 children, but motherhood doesn't define me - Metro.co.uk - December 13th, 2019 [December 13th, 2019]
- If I have no hope for the planet, why am I so determined to have this baby? - The Guardian - December 27th, 2019 [December 27th, 2019]
- Are single childfree women the last of the hopeless romantics? - TheArticle - February 12th, 2020 [February 12th, 2020]
- I'm Childfree, and I Think It's Time to Stop Asking Women If They're Having Kids - GoodHousekeeping.com - March 7th, 2020 [March 7th, 2020]
- Good sleep hygiene is the new wellness goal. Try telling that to an eight-month-old baby - The Guardian - March 16th, 2020 [March 16th, 2020]
- Childfree: Im not having children because I want to save the planet - Stylist Magazine - April 26th, 2020 [April 26th, 2020]
- How this working mum is coping without her village during the coronavirus pandemic - ABC News - April 26th, 2020 [April 26th, 2020]
- I used to judge childfree women | Life and style | The ... - April 26th, 2020 [April 26th, 2020]
- The Very Sad Childfree Life : Strange Notions - April 26th, 2020 [April 26th, 2020]
- Childfree and Childless The Difference - The Good Men Project - May 19th, 2020 [May 19th, 2020]
- Childfree - reddit.com - July 11th, 2020 [July 11th, 2020]
- First Thing: could the pandemic turn red states into swing states? - The Guardian - July 12th, 2020 [July 12th, 2020]
- More women like me are choosing to be childfree. Is this the age of opting out? - The Guardian - July 12th, 2020 [July 12th, 2020]
- 5 Things 'Childfree' People Want You To Know | HuffPost Life - July 12th, 2020 [July 12th, 2020]
- The Motherhood Rejection: 'We Didnt Need A Baby To Make Us Feel Complete' - elle.com - July 21st, 2020 [July 21st, 2020]
- 'I'm a woman in her 40s with no children, and people don't quite know what to do with me.' - Mamamia - July 23rd, 2020 [July 23rd, 2020]
- 10 Women Look Back On Living Childfree By Choice | SELF - July 25th, 2020 [July 25th, 2020]
- Why arent millennials having kids? 8 insights into the ... - July 25th, 2020 [July 25th, 2020]
- This Is What No One Tells You About Being Child-Free In ... - July 25th, 2020 [July 25th, 2020]
- Choosing to Be Childfree Doesn't Mean You Dislike Kids | Time - July 25th, 2020 [July 25th, 2020]
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- Childfree - reddit - July 25th, 2020 [July 25th, 2020]
- Trends: To have or not to have a baby childless author Emma Gannon is blazing a trail for choice - Metro Newspaper UK - July 26th, 2020 [July 26th, 2020]
- 'There's a real taboo': Emma Gannon's debut novel Olive explores the decision to be childfree - Belfast Telegraph - July 31st, 2020 [July 31st, 2020]
- How at 34 I'm working out if I really want to be a mother one day - iNews - August 6th, 2020 [August 6th, 2020]
- One Legacy of the Pandemic May Be Less Judgment of the Child-Free - The Atlantic - August 10th, 2020 [August 10th, 2020]