Slept at 8:30 AM, for, I was working on a submission; woke up at 11 AM to the devastating news of Tapan Da having left us for his heavenly abode. Even as I grappled to transcend the stage between sleep and wakefulness, where one is unable to put on purposeful poise, tears streamed relentlessly.

I could not believe my eyes and ears. This could not be real. I had messaged him, right after receiving the news of his hospitalisation, to check on his condition. His amiable reply was typical of the spirited individual that he was. I could not find a single trace of apprehension in his response.

Covid19 has left no human unaffected, across the world. And yet, there he was, responding nonchalantly. Well, he has faced and vanquished all sorts of ailments in his state. Has he not?, I rationalised in my mind and wished him a speedy recovery. His cheery demeanour gave me solace the very next day, when we had a scare closer home in our household.

The topic of Covid19 popped up unexpectedly that day, when my landlady said, We have decided that in the unlikely eventuality of a Covid infection, the patient will quarantine at home and the rest will move to a hotel; we will bear the cost. You need not worry. This was unexpected. Both the generosity of the offer and the mention of the unlikely eventuality of one of us being infected, albeit in future.

I do not say it out of any aggrandized sense of immortality. It is just that the three of us could easily qualify as Americas model household, if you know what I mean! We have gone overboard in terms of adherence to stipulated health guidelines. I, for one, have not stepped out of the house for anything other than a masked dash to the grocery store or an occasional masked walk, since early March. There was a time, when I had to be reminded that lockdown did not mean locking myself into my Harry Potteresque room! The thought, that we could still be susceptible, was completely unexpected.

It did not help when that very night I got a text from her informing me that she had gone into self-quarantine due to sudden fever and would not come out till her fever subsided or she tested negative, whichever happened first. Amidst furious scrubbing of surfaces and isolation of things, it was decided that all of us would get tested to preclude any possibility! The county health department offers free testing; we had to simply book an appointment and show up. It all seemed surreal. Was it really happening to us? I was not scared or worried; merely imagining the various possibilities!

I did not inform my family to prevent unnecessary anguish at their end. Earlier in April, I had jestingly told my dad that either I would be back home, once things were fine, or an urn would find its way. Black humour is not unusual in our family, you see. My dad had laughed it away and then mildly chided me for not realising that, even though Mrityu is inextricably linked to Jeevan, it is deeply hurtful for parents to hear their child say such things! I did not want to burden them with anxiety.

My last interaction with Tapan Da preceded the onset of this personal tumult. I kept checking about him with others too. His response to my enquiry had been calmly reassuring and inspiring. I went for the test, leaving everything to the Divine. Her fever subsided in a day or two. She is fine. We are positive that we will be negative. That is why when I slept in the morning after a tiring, late night of writing, it was with a sense of satisfaction. Waking up to the heart-breaking news of Tapan Das untimely, unfortunate demise was a blow.

I recalled my first meeting with him during an event in September 2018. An unassuming, humble gentleman, he gave no indication of his accomplishments the quintessential grassroots leader, who led from the front. The influence of his leadership extended beyond the organisations he worked for. Being a Hindu woman from a minoritycommunity, persecuted for her faith in her native land, Tapan Das fearless advocacy for equal rights for Hindus, and for the need to declare Bharat as the natural home for all Hindus, was a soothing balm to my own wounds.

How do we pay our tribute to his selfless service? A key expression of our gratitude could be continued cooperation and collaboration for the welfare and growth of our Samaj. I pray to Iswara for his Sadgati. May he continue to bless us from Vaikuntha. Aum Shanti!

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

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The Covid conversation - The Times of India Blog