Apple + Google* runs my primary care medical practice. Patients enter their information in Google Form on an Apple iPad in the waiting room or at home on their computer. A Google Calendar displays the patient appointments on a big screen in the waiting room on the web alerts the patient when an appointment is ready. The patient records, plus any paper or insurance cards scanned into Dropbox using Fujitsu Scansnap, are wirelessly available to Dr. Steven Murphy’s iPhone, iPad, and HP Touchsmart office desktop for his reference during examination while moving about the examination rooms. After medical service, Steve enters the CPT and ICD (medical service and diagnosis codes, respectively) into a Google Spreadsheet for billing. In the background, software using Gdata uses these records to bill insurance and the patient’s credit card via Authorize.net and MDonline. Later, Steve dictates his complete medical note using Dragon into a Google Docs template. In the afternoon, Steve makes rounds on patients at Greenwich Hospital and Greenwich Woods nursing home using his iPad and a Google Spreadsheet to keep logs while always on call via Gmail on his iPhone.

In the meantime, calls, faxes, and emails to the Office are routed through RingCentral and Google Voice, MyFax, and Gmail respectively to Gmail accounts which process, filter, and route messages to my sister and her roommate at University of Toledo for reception. Spam is filtered, and patients are scheduled by phone or email using Google Calendar, and clinical messages are forwarded to the doctor’s or patient’s attention. Because Gmail automatically archives all messages, the computer automatically and securely files, sorts, and stores all communications for easy future reference, transmission, and processing. (Are you an insane backcountry Greenwich narco addict with delusions of aristocracy who soaps up my little sister for hours over the phone because we don’t jump around like dogs to get you drugs because “somehow” you “lost” them and you simply “cannot” schedule an appointment? One button, poof! You are spam. Good bye. Tell it to your horses.)

Medical inventory is managed by rolling “drawer carts” assembled from clear plastic drawers and metal shelving purchased at Home Depot. Each transparent drawer is labeled with a QR code of a URL to be scanned by your iPhone to go to the McKesson or Amazon webpage for that drawer’s restock. (Actually, I’ve paused the QR scanning project because inventory projects cost money and I’ve been busy with collections. I can’t program websites when I’m busy telling old ladies with uncontrolled diabetes that their medical insurance doesn’t cover $100 in copays and that I’ve dropped them from the practice when they threaten me about it to me over the phone.)

For medical reference, why, we use Google.com Search of course! Why go to “school” to be a “medical biller” when Wikipedia has the world’s best diagnostic reference online for free?

Of course, we never use Google Health which is Silicon Valley’s second** most embarrassing politico boondoggle of worthless garbage —even though Google pushes Google Health to the top of search results. Where are the ICD codes? Oh, you mean the magical language that standardizes pages of indecipherable handwritten notes and legacy medical terminology into an easy-to-type-and-process tokens understood worldwide which are required for all medical billing? Oh no, Google Health is more about FACETIME for flawless resumes. (Where are the faces of the people who made Gmail, Search, and Docs?)

All of this is for you —any person, patient, or doctor— to purchase and assemble yourself with no evil bizdev blueshirts and their stupid websites at consumer prices. Need something really fancy not mentioned here? Google Shopping or Amazon.com. Hell, go visit Best Buy in person if you want that procrastinaty retro consumertime vibe for the day.

You can see this for yourself if you are in the Fairfield County, CT area. Schedule an ordinary, boring physical or sick visit by email at 9hh@hhdocs.com. We accept most medical insurances.

Currently, I’m working on patient accounts for billing and medical records in Python Google Apps and networking and billing tools for the independent Greenwich Physician Association which is headquartered in the office adjacent to mine. Also, I ordered a Counsyl genetic test for myself and am waiting for the results. If the results are good, then I’m unilaterally applying Counsyl to our regular medical physical procedure for all patients of childbearing age. SO: HA! Genetics as standard primary care! Eat me, 23andMe! (but… do need to wait for results before applying…)

PS: My sister and I will be at Google I/O this May. Ideally, I can get the hell out of this horrible, horrible town and do some real engineering remotely where I don’t have to deal with detachments of worthless, decaying dependents to retired millionaires who tattle to Grandpa, fucking President of Whatever, about every $76 bill for coinsurance.

*Enterprise edition with no advertisements: selling patient data for marketing is evil, dishonest, and unlawful in medicine)
** #1 is 23andMe. Special recognition is in order for a medical genetics test which not only is hostile to medical use by design, but EXPLICITLY FORBIDS medical use in its Terms of Service.