Medicare has cut its already low rates… or simply refuses to pay claims. Private insurance is increasingly not paying claims. Credit is not available to anybody, general operating expenses continue to rise, and all spending —especially individual spending— continues to fall.

Meanwhile, state and federal governments continue to “address” this “issue” by forcing new legislation and escalating enforcement —further compounding economic stress with abstruse legal liability.

Financial panic, plus denial, plus institutional instability, plus a confusing blob of new laws that nobody understands but supposed to be really scary and have impressive acronyms?

This here is Scam Season.

Home Health Care: “Healthcare” is now apparently both a “growth industry” and “recession proof,” and in “times like these,” you too can “control your own destiny by starting your own business in healthcare.” Just buy these books, attend these seminars, sign here here and here… and congratulations! You are not officially (empowered to be) a Healthcare Entrepreneur! Now… if only you could somehow clutter my office with your glossy trifold brochures with old people on them, you’ll be rich… wait, you did!? You win! The Economy!

Do the math: Free Money. From The Government. You can’t lose!

I think so far we’ve had four individual “new exciting firms” solicit our very small, very under-publicized medical office to… you know what? I’m not really sure what these people are selling. It’s something to do with old people and glossy brochures and old people on glossy brochures.

Yah, I do make it very awkward on purpose when you ask me to “exchange business cards,” and then when I pretend that you’re a patient who has confused an appointment? Yah, I know that you’re not really a patient. In fact, basically, everything out of my mouth will be rambling worthless nonsense until you dread even the suspicion that I could be in the office. (Also see: common responses to “can you fix my wireless Internet?” “Well, that depends.”)

Aside: I have bad news for you aspiring “healthcare entrepreneurs”: unless you can make diagnosis or prescribe drugs, I promise you, your “new career” is already obsolete because 1) computers do it 2) or your compensation scheme is already targeted for fraud by Medicare. Unless… you new career is selling “career opportunities.” That business seems to be booming.

Hospital-Sponsored-But-Independent-Seriously-Trust-Us Physician Organizations: the fad of Independent Physician Associations from two decades ago is back, but this time, it’s not your good buddies the HMOs, it’s your friendly local medical conglomerate! and they’re really excited to spend the all the money they don’t have to buy … well, they don’t know what exactly they will buy, but it will be expensive, and everybody is doing it, and MOST ESPECIALLY, whatever it is, it will NOT fall into the claws of Evil Neighboring Medical Conglomerate and their corrupt schemes for total domination. Just, um, you know, computers and efficiencies and stuff. Just… trust us. We went to Yale / Columbia / um, we’re rich? Yah… that physician restrictive covenant? That’s just boilerplate. Don’t be such a sorry sally. My business school professor was totally like, eludicated, that you’re supposed to buy up all the providers in a down economy, and there was a Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet, so now what, you’re better than Yale / Columbia / um… don’t you like money?  Yah, dats wat I THOUGHT.

Do the math: Free Money. From The Government. You can’t lose!

I don’t think I need to elaborate here. You know who you are. Please print more copies of my website and continue pester me with tattling. In exchange, I’ll continue to try and estimate the immediate liquidity and regulatory exposure of your operations. Thanks.