By KIM OLVER
If you are coming late to the party, or want a refresher on last months introduction to the process I call Mental Freedom, you can find it here. There, I introduced the first three constructs:
Now, lets move on to the next three constructs.
People can get really hung up on emotions. In actuality, they serve two clear purposes, and you can use them as tools to help you rather than allowing them to work against you. Which purpose they serve depends on how long they last.
Humans are quite adept at conducting a utopia in their heads about how life, and everything in it, is supposed to be. In this make-believe place, everyone is responding the way you believe is correct. Its too bad this place will never be reality; there are just way too many variables that we have no control over such as other people, random events and time marching on.
When we encounter something that doesnt match the way we think it should be, we have a brief, involuntary emotion. You cant control whether you become sad, angry, disgusted or worried when things dont match the way you want them to be. Its going to happen and is totally normal; you cant help it, stop it or slow it down. It is what it is.
However, when you dont recognize that brief emotion as what it isa signal that things arent how you want themand you allow it to persist, then it becomes something more than a signal. You are no longer just recognizing life isnt how you want it, now you are harnessing that emotion in an attempt to change life into what you want it to be. You dont know thats what youre doing. In fact, it feels like youve been hijacked and are a victim of these painful emotions that take up residence in your heart. You point your fingers at whatever is wrong in your life and assign blame for why youre feeling the way you are.
This is, of course, a lie you are telling yourself. Your emotions are simply energy. They cant make you do anything or say anything. After the original signal, you choose your emotions as your best attempt to get what you want in that moment.
I know this is a lot to wrap your mind around and it likely goes against everything youve been taught and believe, but I have many examples of this concept helping people. Once you see this truth, you cant unsee it. Think about the last time you were sad or angry about something. Ask yourself what you wanted that you were trying to get with your anger. It was probably some version of the following:
The emotions are painful, yes, but at least they provide something you want.
Another skill on the path to Mental Freedom is the recognition of the control you give the stories you make up in your head. Humans have a need for closurea gestalt, if you will. Life doesnt always provide that, so we make it up in our heads. That isnt so bad, unless the stories you construct are hurtful to you, and they often are. The antidote to this is to question the stories and perceptions you have in your head. I propose that since you are making up the story, why not make up a story that helps you feel better instead of worse? Youre making it up, anyway! You dont know the truth; youre only imagining what might be happening. Why tell yourself stories that dont serve you? Start making up stories that help put your mind at ease. For example, instead of telling yourself your partner just ended your relationship because you arent good enough for them, tell yourself the relationship ended because your partner felt inadequate walking next to you through life. You are never going to know the real reason. Why not tell yourself something that feels good instead of awful?
Think of the worst thing that ever happened to you. Maybe you lost a loved one. Perhaps you are battling a serious illness. Maybe you are a survivor of sexual abuse. In this human experience, there are many versions of pain. Take the worst emotional pain youve ever experienced and give it a number from one to 100. Whatever number you assign, understand that there is at least that same amount of positivity in that very event. If you experienced a 65 in pain, there is a corresponding 65 in GLOW. Many people are never exposed to this concept, so they never find their GLOW. Some dont even know its there, but that doesnt make it untrue.
When most people are experiencing pain, they believe they are at pains mercy. This is only true if you give your pain that power. When I work with people, I ask if they are ready to feel better. If they are, we proceed. If they arent, then I cant help them. If you are in a painful situation and you truly want to feel better, your first step is to realize there is GLOW in your situation. GLOW stands for gifts, lessons, opportunities and wisdom. Once you accept thats true, then you can go on a journey of collecting, recognizing and finding gratitude in those things.
Im not saying your pain isnt real or that it will magically go away. However, when you can collect an equivalent amount of GLOW to your pain, then you will no longer be held hostage by it. You will be able to say thank you to the cause of the pain, realizing it brought along equal value in gifts, lessons, opportunities and wisdom.
I know this is true because Ive been using this concept in my own life and the lives of my clients and have yet to find an exception, and also because its a law of the universe. Every naturally occurring element in our world has an equal number of protons and electronsthe same positive and negative charge, if you remember your periodic table of elements. The same is true for our life events. You just have to look harder for the GLOW because our human brains are hardwired to notice the negative over the positive.
If you are ready to begin your own path to Mental Freedom, you can register for the next Mental Freedom Group Coaching experience at http://www.bit.ly/MFCoaching.
Read more here:
- Freedom of Religion or Belief club formed at BYU - The Daily Universe - Universe.byu.edu - September 18th, 2020
- Freedom 76 At Grandview Will Be Live On FloRacing - FloRacing - September 18th, 2020
- Aviation Analysis: Revival of Fifth Freedom Flights? - Sam Chui - September 18th, 2020
- Trump Attacks The 1619 Project: U.S. Wasnt Founded On Slavery And Oppression, It Was Freedom - Moguldom - September 18th, 2020
- PAUL TIYAMBE ZELEZA - Beyond Political Freedom to Inclusive Wealth Creation and Self-Reliance - The Elephant - September 18th, 2020
- Backyard pool will bring joy and freedom to Niagara Falls boy - StCatharinesStandard.ca - September 18th, 2020
- Parson James Talks New Single, Lockdown, and Artistic Freedom - vmagazine.com - September 18th, 2020
- Private Railways Will Have Freedom To Set Their Own Fares: Government - NDTV - September 18th, 2020
- McCarthy focused on election, not Freedom Caucus push to remove Pelosi - Roll Call - September 18th, 2020
- Julian Assange, and Press Freedom, on Trial in London - Democracy Now! - September 18th, 2020
- Heres How to Retire at 45 with Financial Freedom - Investment U - September 18th, 2020
- Freedom and Madison off to a 'super' school year - Conway Daily Sun - September 2nd, 2020
- Freedom and Independence group formed to combat Soviet terror founded 75 years ago today - The First News - September 2nd, 2020
- COMMENTARY: Your freedom hinges on freedom of speech - The Cherokee One Feather - Cherokee One Feather - September 2nd, 2020
- Will it be Freedom Hilly cross country course? - The Macomb Daily - September 2nd, 2020
- Joliet Township Sued Under The Freedom of Information Act; Unauthorized Fees - Edgar County Watchdogs - September 2nd, 2020
- OPINION/LETTER: Gun range noise is the 'sound of freedom' - Cape Cod Times - September 2nd, 2020
- What was the Red Sox best trade-deadline acquisition? Freedom from luxury-tax penalties - The Boston Globe - September 2nd, 2020
- Fortify Your Home on the Cheap, Part 2 - America's 1st Freedom - September 2nd, 2020
- Sen. Gardner touts vaccine progress, pandemic legislation at Steamboat Institute's Freedom Conference in Beaver Creek - Steamboat Pilot and Today - September 2nd, 2020
- 'Zombies of the Corn' haunted attraction set for 8th season of frightful fun in Freedom - TribLIVE - September 2nd, 2020
- President Armen Sarkissian: Artsakh Was the Spark Which Lit the Fire of Freedom - Armenian News by MassisPost - September 2nd, 2020
- One Database to Rule Them All: The Invisible Content Cartel that Undermines the Freedom of Expression Online - EFF - September 2nd, 2020
- Personal freedom is still limited in most of the Islamic world - The Economist - September 2nd, 2020
- Tuesday Freedom Kicks: Gelmin Rivas to D.C. United, continued fallout at Real Salt Lake, and more - Black And Red United - September 2nd, 2020
- Freedom Means Something Different to Liberals and Conservatives. Heres How the Definition SplitAnd Why That Still Matters - TIME - August 31st, 2020
- Trademark Parody and Freedom of Speech in the U.S. - JD Supra - August 31st, 2020
- D.C., Loudoun lose, Weston to Juve done & more: Freedom Kicks for 8/31/20 - Black And Red United - August 31st, 2020
- Letter to the Editor: The real meaning of freedom - The Bakersfield Californian - August 31st, 2020
- Bass: Exercising freedom to be exposed to COVID-19 - Berkshire Eagle - August 31st, 2020
- Dean Cain: NYC becoming land of the flee as people leave in search of more freedom - Fox News - August 31st, 2020
- In Conversation: Georgia Anne Muldrow on Finding Freedom as Jyoti - FLOOD Magazine - August 31st, 2020
- Watershed moment for freedom of speech: Prashant Bhushan on SC verdict. Read full statement here - Hindustan Times - August 31st, 2020
- Trumps ban of TikTok and WeChat would reduce Americans freedom of speech and harm foreign investment in the U.S. - MarketWatch - August 31st, 2020
- Letter to the Editor: It's All About Freedom - Centralia Chronicle - August 31st, 2020
- CLARK B. HALL: Rare images record freedom in the making - starexponent.com - August 31st, 2020
- Tantrum Or Freedom Of Expression Over Face Masks? - wcrz.com - August 31st, 2020
- This is my freedom of speech - Newnan Times-Herald - August 31st, 2020
- There are limits to freedom - Mount Airy News - August 31st, 2020
- Freedom in the Muslim World - Cato Institute - August 31st, 2020
- Shevar Perry to Open Solo Exhibit Moments of Freedom August 24th, 2020 - Suburban Journals - August 31st, 2020
- 'I enjoy the freedom and picking funds': why this doctor ditched his 250,000 NHS pension - Telegraph.co.uk - August 31st, 2020
- Freedom and the pursuit of safety - The Boston Globe - August 10th, 2020
- Texas History: Sizing up daily lives in the states freedom colonies - Brownwood Bulletin - August 10th, 2020
- Columbia Professor Sarah Seo to Talk about 'Cars, Police and Freedom in the United States' on Thursday - Redheaded Blackbelt - August 10th, 2020
- Finding Freedom by Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand Harry and Meghan and the making of a modern royal family - The Guardian - August 10th, 2020
- She Wanted More Freedom and Meaning From Her Career - The Story Exchange - August 10th, 2020
- This Week in Washington IP: Injunctions for SEPs, How Innovation Flourishes in Freedom, and Reviewing SBIR/STTR at the National Science Foundation -... - August 10th, 2020
- Adolescent bodily integrity and freedom from violence in Ethiopia - Ethiopia - ReliefWeb - August 10th, 2020
- Breaking the loan shackle: How to win freedom from debt - Moneycontrol.com - August 10th, 2020
- Behind The Blue: 'Embattled Freedom' And Confederate Memorials - Patch.com - August 10th, 2020
- Mapping Media Freedom: Big Increase in Threats Reported in Albania During 2020 - Exit - Explain Albania - August 10th, 2020
- Flight to Freedom: Pilot lands in Nueces County to pick up two abandoned dogs due to pandemic and flies them to their new foster home - KIIITV.com - August 10th, 2020
- Opinion | With Trump appointing anti-abortion judges, the fight for reproductive freedom is critical - Street Roots News - August 10th, 2020
- 'Behind the Blue': 'Embattled Freedom' and Confederate Memorials With Amy Murrell Taylor - UKNow - August 10th, 2020
- Trump's Threat to Press Freedom Is Global - Truthout - August 10th, 2020
- OPINION: What freedom means to the United States - The Student Life - August 10th, 2020
- Woman claiming to be from 'Freedom to Breathe Agency' gets into viral exchange with store employee over mask policy | TheHill - The Hill - August 10th, 2020
- UNSW criticised for letter in Chinese with no mention of freedom of speech - The Guardian - August 10th, 2020
- COVID19: Is there freedom in silence? - Financial Mirror - August 10th, 2020
- Freedom and justice for ALL | Other Opinions - Aitkin Independent Age - August 7th, 2020
- Girl Hides Audition From Dad, Finds Her 'Freedom In Singing' Watch What Happens Next - Talent Recap - August 7th, 2020
- Masks to freedom: Wearing masks will bring back freedom - The Milpitas Beat - August 7th, 2020
- Tamika Mallory Of Until Freedom Criticizes The California District Attorneys Association's Request For The NFL To Pull Stephon Clark PSA - PRNewswire - August 7th, 2020
- The never-ending struggle: blending freedom and justice, with a dash of compassion - MinnPost - August 7th, 2020
- Freedom in THE SON! - Blogs - The Hutchinson News - August 7th, 2020
- Pardon our noise, it's the sound of freedom: Jaded Thunder returns - Salina Post - August 7th, 2020
- Introduction to the Freedom of Information Act | News, Sports, Jobs - Daily Mining Gazette - August 7th, 2020
- 'It's the freedom of it': Bikers rally in Stateline ahead of Sturgis, unconcerned about virus - The Spokesman-Review - August 7th, 2020
- Australia has a problem with freedom of speech - The Big Smoke Australia - August 7th, 2020
- Troubled Freedom Foods keeps it in the family for now - The Australian Financial Review - August 7th, 2020
- Letter: Marlboro's Degrees of Freedom can thrive - with innovation, collaboration - Brattleboro Reformer - August 2nd, 2020
- 'Freedom' rally in Twin Falls decries moderate Republicans, public education, masks and the media - bigcountrynewsconnection.com - August 2nd, 2020
- When it comes to freedom of the press, it is 'problematic' in many of the richest countries across the world - USA TODAY - August 2nd, 2020
- Editors opened the doors to Freedom School, then even wider as magazine of black thought - Cambridge Day - August 2nd, 2020
- Memorial honors families that have paid the ultimate price for America's freedom - Standard-Examiner - August 2nd, 2020
- 120 alerts in 4 months: Severe threats to press freedom across Europe - IFEX - August 2nd, 2020
- As feds attacks freedom, where's the right wing? - Santa Fe New Mexican - August 2nd, 2020
- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Doing the Opposite of 'Finding Freedom' - The Daily Beast - August 2nd, 2020
- Weve Neglected the Freedom of Assembly for Years Before Portland - Slate - August 2nd, 2020