In 2013, the Times reached a zenith in onanistic trend pieces with a feature filled with futurism consultants who thought "Brooklyn is turning out to be the last three days of Burning Man." We worried that the paper of record would not reach those heights again this yearbut thankfully our fears were as unfounded as the reports that hipster baby boomers were encroaching upon "hip-hopping" territories. Whether they were lamenting the Sad Plight Of White Brooklyn or combing through the latest pubic hair trend, the NY Times was on it in 2014. Below, take some antacid and check out the best of the worst Brunch Hate Reads.
10. NY Times Picks Up Women With Real Life "Hitch": The Times profiled a Pick Up Artist (PUA) who resents the phrase PUA, and would rather be known as "a social development coach," dating coach, romantics professor, courage therapist, or interactions teacher. It was almost sweet, if you ignored much of the creepy subtext. But extra points for being a "life coach for young children."
9. The NY Times Is ON IT (Pubic Hair): Brunch Hate Reads transcend any one time and placethey can occur without warning in the middle of the week, but still carry with them the foul stench of Sunday morning coffee mingling with manufactured outrage. Anyone who opened the Thursday Style section the last week of January was greeted with just such a feeling upon reading the Times' dedicated pubic hair coverage. It was like listening to your grandfather talk about merkins.
8. Brunch Hate Reads: Having More Than One Job Is Hot New Millennial Trend: No, they're not talking about the millions of Americans struggling in this garbage economy and forced to take multiple part-time jobs just to get bythis is about precious young trendsetters reinventing a wheel that has been rolling downhill for decades.
7. Brooklyn Is Dead (Serious About Expensive Real Estate): The Times dug in to explore one of its favorite topics: the plight of well-off Brooklyn residents who are being priced out of Brooklyn by equally well-off Brooklyn residents.
6. NY Times Weekend Reaches Peak NY Times Weekendness: Long will we remember the weekend of August 16th/17th, when the stars aligned and the Weekend section gave birth to three beautifully masochistic trend pieces: a feature on mason jars (not a joke), an article about the indignity of adults living with roommates (the horror), and "Generation Nice," which included 33 uses of the word Millennial.
5. Brunch Hate Reads: Irritating People Discover Queens: The Times turned its terrible gaze toward Queens in a series of articles in the fall that confirmed that the "Toyota Corolla" of neighborhoods is finally getting respect from singularly irritating new gentrifiers. RIP Ridgewood, we hardly brunched in ye.
4. Sad Young People Lament The Plight Of Living On The Upper East Side: Some sad, financially-stable 20-somethings complained about the hardships they've endured by sacrificing their social lives to reside on the Upper East Side. Because, dear god, no one will visit them.
3. Young Rich People Are Aliens Infiltrating NYC With Cold Hard Cash: Reading between the lines, we finally understood how all these rich young people were able to afford prime Manhattan real estate while everyone else gets poorer: they're extraterrestrials in sweatpants.
Here is the original post:
The Top 10 NY Times Brunch Hate Reads Of 2014
- Futurist Serata featuring artist Luca Buvoli at Brown (Nov. 20) - November 7th, 2009 [November 7th, 2009]
- FUTUR1SM00GGI - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- ‘Futurism on Film’ Series this month in NYC - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Schedule of Futurist Events in NYC (PERFORMA 09: Nov 1-22) - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- ‘Futurismo/Futurizm: The Futurist Avant-Garde in Italy and Russia’ (Nov. 13 + 14) - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- ‘Beyond Futurism: F.T. Marinetti, Writer’ conference at Columbia (Nov. 12+13) - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Futurism and Cars at the Museo Nicolis - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- MoMA Film Series Marks Centenary of Futurism with Films - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- ‘Bergson+Futurism. Speed in thought’ - Madrid (Nov. 5) - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- ‘The Future in Five Senses: Echoes of Italian Futurism in New York Architecture and Design’ Nov. 16th NYC - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- New World-Wide Climate Treaty in 2010 More Likely - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Tar Sands CCS Myth Shattered - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Smart Grid and Smart Meters Get Big Grants - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Pollution Makes Methane Even More Dangerous - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Climate Change Bill Hearing Video - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- New Satellite to Monitor Water and Plant Growth - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Spiritual Battle Awaits the Deniers and Skeptics - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Effects of Climate Change are Observed World-Wide - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Get Yer Global Warming Science Here - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- TckTckTck Wake up Call — Delay Kills - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Canada’s Awful Gold Rush - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Climate Change Talks Spark Global Backlash by Businesses - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- World May Need Extra Year for Climate Treaty - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Senator Boxer Moves Climate Bill Despite Republican Obstructionism - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Lights out for incandescent lights? - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Sutures from Bacteria - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Remote-Controlled Pigeons - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Apple Announces iPhone Release Date - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- UK Government Envisions a Grim Future - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Top Ten Emerging Technologies for the Environment - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- DIY Mobile Networks - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Stem-Cell Treatment Cures Type 1 Diabetes - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Is Tesla Getting the Electric Car Right? - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- The Future of TV News - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Bruce Sterling on Earth-Friendly Pervasive Computing - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- First Step Toward Organ Regeneration in Humans - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- IBM's "Five in Five" - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Outsourced Journalism - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Is True Global Democracy the Next Great Political Movement? - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- The Risks of Autonomous Robots - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Microsoft Introduces "Tabletop" PC - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Britain Piloting First Biofueled Train - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Self-Healing Plastic - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Bird Population Falls Over Past 40 Years - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- The iPhone Revolution? - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- The End of "Cheap Food"? - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- How to Stop -- Or Live With -- Global Warming - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- MIT Demonstrates "Wireless Electricity" - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Unintended Consequences of Biofuels - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Time to Focus on the Big Picture in Copenhagen - December 12th, 2009 [December 12th, 2009]
- Protests in Copenhagen - December 12th, 2009 [December 12th, 2009]
- Mario Guido Dal Monte exhibit - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Futurism News Bulletin, xvi - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Viva il Futurismo! (video trailer) - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- 3 exhibits in Gorizia! - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Forthcoming: ‘Antidiets of the Avant-garde’ by Cecilia Novero - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Pubblicità e propaganda. Ceramica e grafica futuriste at the Wolfsoniana - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Balla’s home scheduled to open in 2010 - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Futurismo a Savona - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- ‘Zang Sud Sud’, Cosenza - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Conference in Rome (Dec. 10) - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Climate Hackergate: A Well-Orchestrated Campaign of Harassment - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- The Sad Story of Cap and Trade - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- How to Waste Trillions on Capturing Carbon - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Smack the Email Hack Attack - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- EPA About to Declare CO2 a Public Danger - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Copenhagen Summit Starts with Virtually There Media - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Climate Scientist Gets Blunt on Trading Scheme - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- One Climate Change Editorial in 56 Newspapers, 45 Countries - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- This Decade Will be Hottest Ever on Record - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Divide and Conquer - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Leave the Coal in the Hole! - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- COP15: Two Agreements Coming - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Climate and Copenhagen News December 10 - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- Sea Level Already Rising on Atlantic Coast - December 13th, 2009 [December 13th, 2009]
- ‘Umbria Veloce’ in Perugia - December 14th, 2009 [December 14th, 2009]
- An Instable CO2-Filled Ocean - December 14th, 2009 [December 14th, 2009]
- ‘Futurismi a Ravenna’ opens Dec. 19 - December 15th, 2009 [December 15th, 2009]
- ‘Futurism and the Technological Imagination’ – 30% discount until Jan. 15 - December 15th, 2009 [December 15th, 2009]
- Protecting Our Lungs at Copenhagen - December 15th, 2009 [December 15th, 2009]