This is hilarious. AlioGenetics doesn’t even bother to photoshop out the 23andMe brand on their website:

Hey Stanford University, do you know what is not hilarious? What happens when City Hall gets the call that genomics “can’t police its own borough?”

An FDA slum clearance. (Or, hey! Pick any three capital letters: CDC, OCR, CMS, … IRS, who knows? Or maybe you won’t be so lucky to die in battle. Maybe you’ll just be another causality of an In-House Council Infection and die in the mud —forgotten.)

So, you had better not have the wrong address when the carbon copies and postage tape hits the streets. Your hippy-dippy high school cold-shoulder blacklist bro-fist ghetto games aren’t going to impress an sour auditor or a sweet judge with a mandate to “take care of the neighborhood” from behind paper bulldozers on an expenses-plus contract. Oh yes, and now the carbon copies have been digitized: you can be federally served by gmail. Ask me about it sometime! (in person)

And guess what: now that you’re on the internet and “freely available to the masses,” you don’t have just ONE City Hall, you have one for EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE JURISDICTION IN THE WORLD. And you don’t have to do anything wrong. You just have to be in the wrong neighborhood. In fact, the more good you try to be, the easier you will be to exterminate. Please complete these forms so that we may more easily hunt you down, disband your resistance, and relocate you to government housing. God can sort the money. Thank you.