Back in the 1970s and 80s when the Argus-Courier was a daily newspaper, the news and photo staff produced a special edition once a year that was never seen by the general public. It was the annual spoof edition that was assembled in December and distributed to employees at the newspapers holiday party.

The edition, usually four to six pages, was called the Anguish-Carrier.

It was a different time, before political correctness, Human Resource departments and the Me-Too Movement. The Anguish-Carrier editions were humorous, risqu and borderline inappropriate. They poked fun at fellow employees.

And they were always eagerly anticipated at the annual holiday party.

But today, for obvious reasons, they would not be permitted.

And if employees were to produce them, it would likely be grounds for dismissal.

The spoof editions were printed for more than 10 years, before the publisher in 1989 put an end to them because of a story that took a dig at him. Until today, the Anguish-Carrier was known only to employees of the newspaper. A few copies, yellowed by time, have been saved for posterity.

The motto of the Argus-Courier in those days, printed below the front-page flag, was Serving Sonoma County since 1855. The Anguish-Carrier flag was placed above the phrase Milking Sonoma County since 1855.

Recently, several former Argus-Courier employees from that era got together to share their recollections about the Anguish-Carrier editions. And they laughed heartily as they looked over copies of the spoof editions from 40 years ago.

Doug Brown, a photographer at the Argus-Courier from 1979 to 1989, recalled, My most vivid memory was the last edition.That November, a baby duck got cut on a fish hook in the lake at Lucchesi Park.Someone took him to Petaluma Valley Hospital.A surgeon removed the hook and gave the duckling a stitch to close the wound. I took photos of the procedureand they were published with the story.

As the deadline for the Anguish-Carrier approached, he continued, I wrote an article called Save the Bird.It was about how the publisher had a heart attack and needed a heart replacement.The search was on for a heart, but we couldnt find a heart small enough.Finally, we found a baby bird that had a suitably small heart, but once the procedurestarted, everyone began yelling, Save the bird!

Brown added, This was during the time the editorial and photo departments were trying to unionize. On December 26, after seeing the Anguish-Carrier,the publisher came storming out of his office screaming, Who the f--- wrote this? It was me and I signed the article By Dog Bowser.I know the entire editorial staff knew who wrote it, but not a finger was pointed, or a word uttered.

The publisher put the kibosh on the Anguish from that moment on.

One of my favorite memories about working at the Argus-Courier was writing for the Anguish, said Brown.

Jeff Weber, who worked in the newsroom from 1980 to 1985, recalled contributing several Anguish articles during his five years at as a reporter and Saturday edition editor.

The one I remember best was a not-so-subtle parody of the sports editor, whose tenure was relatively short -- perhaps because he faced the unenviable task of following in the footsteps of the legendary Casey Tefertiller. (Tefertiller went on to work as a sportswriter for the San Francisco Examiner and wrote several books about Wyatt Earp and the American West.)

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Spoofing the Argus-Courier - Petaluma Argus Courier