FunnyJunk v. The Oatmeal

Charles Carreon, the Tucson lawyer currently suing Oatmeal creator Matt Inman, the National Wildlife Foundation, the American Cancer Society, and anyone impersonating him on Twitter, is something of a poet. (And, when we spoke to him last week, we learned that he loves The Ramones.)

So when Inman cranked out his infamous drawing of a mom seducing a Kodiak bear, Carreon took his displeasure to the blank page and churned out "Don't Mess With My Mom."

In case the subtext here wasn't clear, Carreon dedicated the verses to "Matthew Inman of the Oatmeal." Here's a small hors d'oeuvrejust imagine the lines set to a pumping, palm-muted set of power chords.

Your allies are the fools Who cut and paste all day. They think they're important, But their anger is impotent. They say nasty things, But they don't get paid. Their ignorance is deep, So ya' get 'em on the cheap.

Your humor's scatological, Your mind is pathological. Did someone drop you on your head, When you were in your baby-bed? Did they take away your rattle, And teach you how to tattle?

Whatever the reason, You have committed treason Against decency and sanity, You're offensive to humanity.

Carreon and his wife, Tara, are furious about Inman's online campaign, which was designed to mock Carreon and his initial demand that Inman pay $20,000 for allegedly defaming a client. And they're even angrier about the behavior of Inman's followers and supporters, who have been peppering the Carreons with e-mails that say things like:

You are the biggest fucking asshole I have ever seen. I hope you do the world a favor and die soon.

Others have taken Carreon's pretty-easy-to-find e-mail address and signed him up for all sorts of things, including Club Nintendo, the Olive Garden newsletter, and porn sites like Tube8. The prospect of having a Tube8 user account linked to his e-mail address terrifies Carreon. As he put it in his amended legal complaint this week:

Read the rest here:

FunnyJunk lawyer's wife wades into fray, calls critics "nazi scumbags"