When I first came to Japan as a university English teacher in 1993, the hydrangea were in full bloom and I was 29 years old. Four years later, in 1997, I met my best friend here when we both started working for the same company at the exact same time. Both still relatively new to Japan, we bonded quickly over the strange customs, challenges and fathomless possibilities presented to us each day.
Since we both worked full time, we met every Sunday morning over coffee, often at a cafe where we chortled, gesticulated and expressed outright wonder as we struggled to understand Japan. We didnt care what others thought we were playful, untamed, carefree.
When I met her, I had just recentered my life by moving to Shiraishi Island in the Seto Inland Sea where I could satisfy a longing to live closer to nature: Where I could watch the tide whisper in under a full moon, taste the dew on the morning glories and swim in briny waters with swaying seagrass tickling my toes.
During that first year on the island, an abandoned kitten came upon me when I was running in the mountains. Imploring me to pick her up, she rested in my palm like a fragile, brilliant white goose egg. When I showed her to my best friend, she was smitten. It was just a normal cat, of course, but she told everyone it was the most elegant jewel in the whole world because it was mine. Thats just how she was.
My friend and I shared many of the same passions: the environment, sustainability and traditional Japanese culture, to name a few. She visited me often, and in our little island paradise we bathed in a sea of pink sunsets and danced in the shimmering summer air to appease the warrior spirits of the Battle of the Heike from 800 years ago.
When the autumn winds came, we wandered the ancient pilgrimage route while picking persimmons and memorized the Heart Sutra. In winter, her charm alone coaxed invitations into the warm island houses of Buddhist priests, shamans and folk dancers.
Time trudged on, I bought my island house and planted iris. She took on more work and stayed later each night at the company. We still met once a week, but eventually switched to Saturdays. When my parents came to visit me in Japan, they thought my friend was terrific, and returned home satisfied I was succeeding in this country with such wonderful support. It was true that she helped me get through the growing pains of this culture, just by being there.
When the internet moved life online, we did too, no longer meeting at a cafe for coffee. Instead, we caught up once a week as time permitted since meeting online gave us more freedom, less structure.
My friend was sophisticated, charming and more popular than I ever was, but she shared her vast cohort of admirers and many journeyed out to this remote, misty, plum-blossomed island in the Inland Sea she talked so much about. Some even became my life-long friends.
But as time rolls on, people mature and, inevitably, change. I married and her job made even more demands on her time. Japan was in a deep recession and she took a pay cut. We kept our chins up.
A decade later, my parents had passed away and hers separated after a long marriage. Her father took a new wife and things were never quite the same for her. So many adjustments to a new parent. I offered to help but was at a loss of what I could actually do for her. We occasionally took different views, had petty arguments, but tried not to allow a wedge to come between us.
About five years ago we had slipped to meeting just twice a month, on Mondays, and our relationship started showing real signs of weakness. We both knew something wasnt quite right, but we couldnt put our finger on it. We seldom cracked jokes anymore; in fact, we argued.
Still, she accompanied me to the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang in 2018 and we took four journeys together along the Kumano Kodo from 2014 to 2017.
Fast friends: Sometimes fate can bring just the right thing into your life. | AMY CHAVEZ
When I took a trip to Europe earlier this year with my husband, I sent her dispatches, just as I always had, starting with my first major solo trip on the Shikoku Pilgrimage in 1998, then again when I muddled through a stint in Hokkaido in 2007, and during two extended sailing voyages over the high seas in 2004 and 2012.
So when I came back from my European trip, it was a comfort to know she was still here waiting for me, the way she always had.
Last year in June, my precious jewel of a kitty passed away. For 22 years I had buried my nose in her fur when I was sad, and the pain of parting with my feline for good was so acute, I couldnt even share my loss with my best friend. I cradled the sweet old cat (mere bones!) and, amid a pouring spring rain, returned her to the mountain where she had first found me. For the rest of the rainy season, while the hydrangeas turned from green to pastel pink, pale blue and back to green again, I imagined the rain soaking down through the soil staining that beautiful white coat.
But I still had my best friend. We continued to meet once a month, and it felt somewhat stable.
Id been so dependent on her for so long. She mentored me through my 30s, 40s and now into my mid-50s. Because of her, I felt accepted and valued. It was a rare friendship and we knew it. Was it too late to renew that spark?
Then came COVID-19 and our worlds turned upside down. My friend could only meet me once every two months. When we did catch up, our viewpoints diverged, and we fell into spats. We made up though, before hopelessly quarreling again. The stress of diminishing finances among a world pandemic magnified our woes.
Where to go from here? I wondered, and it was not a new thought. Is such struggle normal? If I let her go, would I ever find another soulmate like her? In truth, I had started feeling estranged a long time ago, and I think she did too. Finally, I accepted that we had just grown apart.
Already, the cicadas are in full cry, but the last time I saw her was May 11.
Ive withheld her name until now because if you regularly read my column, you already know who she is. Ive written about her exactly 1,034 times, in essays that total 1 million words. Shes been in my life for 23 years and its so hard to let her go. But I know its time. She knows it, too. Farewell, Japan Lite.
A lot happens in 23 years but, in the end, time is itself an evanescence.
I have not regrets, but still I weep. And the Inland Sea tide rises.
Special thanks to the editors and staff at The Japan Times, and, of course, the readers for supporting me and Japan Lite for 23 years.
A new home: Shiraishi Island is a comfortable getaway from Japans busy urban centers. | AMY CHAVEZ
Go here to read the rest:
Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it needs to be done - The Japan Times
- Get To Know The Star of Nickelodeon's New Show 'Santiago of the Seas' Kevin Chacon! - Just Jared Jr. - October 10th, 2020
- The Need for a Network of Marine Protected Areas in the Southern Ocean - The Pew Charitable Trusts - October 10th, 2020
- Japan seeks to boost catch limits of prized bluefin tuna - Thehour.com - October 10th, 2020
- Graham Elders grand adventures led to the publication of a novella - SooToday - October 10th, 2020
- 10 Behind The Scenes Facts About Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Screen Rant - October 10th, 2020
- SECDEF Esper Calls for 500-Ship Fleet by 2045, With 3 SSNs a Year and Light Carriers Supplementing CVNs - USNI News - October 10th, 2020
- Avast! Boss Audio's new weatherproof touchscreen brings CarPlay and Android Auto to boats - The Verge - October 10th, 2020
- Changing dynamics in the SCS and increasing Chinese aggression - Modern Diplomacy - October 10th, 2020
- Africa: Continent Urged to Protect Sea Life - The Streetjournal - October 10th, 2020
- Kevin Chacon Talks Santiago Of The Seas Exclusive Interview - BSCkids - October 10th, 2020
- COVID-19 Leaves Fisheries Observers in the Dark - The Maritime Executive - October 10th, 2020
- Most of My Friendships Were Toxic, But Now Im So Lonely! - The Cut - October 10th, 2020
- Xitler Isnt Going Down Like Hitler; To Stare Him Down, Trade Should Be The Worlds Weapon Of Choice - Swarajya - October 10th, 2020
- Kyndra Sanchez to star in Nickelodeon series Santiago of the Seas - Animation Xpress - October 10th, 2020
- Genting and Royal Caribbean to relaunch Singapore cruise operations - TradeWinds - October 10th, 2020
- Dog saved on the high seas - kdvr.com - September 4th, 2020
- Vault of the Ancients update brings dogs and treasures to Sea of Thieves - PC Invasion - September 4th, 2020
- Piracy in 2020: the trends you need to know - Lexology - September 4th, 2020
- 'We are closer to the other side of this crisis every day' Cruise boss confident of a return to sea - Telegraph.co.uk - September 4th, 2020
- How Chinas Massive Fishing Fleet Is Transforming the Worlds Oceans - Slate - September 4th, 2020
- Apps and after: Chinas growing naval muscle will have to be jointly countered - The Times of India Blog - September 4th, 2020
- The human impact of organized crime in fisheries extends far beyond the ocean - GreenBiz - September 4th, 2020
- The Italian Navy Arrives in World of Warships: Legends - War History Online - September 4th, 2020
- 42 Crew, Nearly 6000 Cows Missing After Ship Sinks In Storm-Tossed Seas Off Japan - NPR - September 4th, 2020
- Can the world unite to combat illegal fishing? - Equal Times - September 4th, 2020
- Ocean Infrastructure Has Basically Created Cities at Sea - Gizmodo - September 4th, 2020
- Urgent action needed for small-scale fishers to withstand the climate crisis says new WWF repor - WWF International - September 4th, 2020
- Reducing inequalities to save the planet - ScienceBlog.com - September 4th, 2020
- Is China Behind a Recent Insurgent Attack in India's Northeast? - The Diplomat - September 4th, 2020
- Alta Mar High Seas Season 4? Is There Any Possibility? - The Buzz Paper - August 10th, 2020
- GAME ON: Drift gently along the high seas with your 'Raft,' your pals and sharks - Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - August 10th, 2020
- Alta Mar High Seas Season 3: Release Date, Cast, Plot, Trailer And All New Latest Information Here - World Top Trend - August 10th, 2020
- Alta Mar season 3 cast: Who is in the cast of High Seas? - Express - August 10th, 2020
- High Seas Season 4 Expected Release Date, Cast Info and Every Other Detail - News Lagoon - August 10th, 2020
- Shark Week 2020: How The Pandemic Added To This Years Programming - Forbes - August 10th, 2020
- Oil Leak Stopped from Bulker as Mauritius Prepares for the Worst Case - The Maritime Executive - August 10th, 2020
- What series to watch this weekend on Netflix, HBO and Prime Video: The extraordinary Playlist of Zoey and the High Sea | Entertainment - Explica - August 10th, 2020
- Information sharing with regional partners aims to reel in transnational crime syndicates - Mirage News - August 10th, 2020
- African states are critical in advancing ocean governance - The Patriotic Vanguard - August 10th, 2020
- No end to South China Sea disputes without code of conduct - The Star Online - August 10th, 2020
- Tuesday's weather: Mainly fine and cool, but high seas in Western Cape and fire alerts elsewhere - News24 - August 10th, 2020
- High Seas Season 4 : Will The Spanish Series Return For On Netflix? - Topbuzztrends.com - August 10th, 2020
- 'They just pull up everything!' Chinese fleet raises fears for Galpagos sea life - The Guardian - August 10th, 2020
- High Seas (TV Series 2019 ) - IMDb - August 10th, 2020
- High seas | maritime law | Britannica - August 10th, 2020
- 'High Seas' Netflix Review: Stream It or Skip It? - August 10th, 2020
- High Seas (TV Series 2019 ) - Full Cast & Crew - IMDb - August 10th, 2020
- High Seas Trading Co.- Hawaiian shirts | Aloha Shirts ... - August 10th, 2020
- GAME ON: Drift gently along the high seas with your 'Raft,' your pals and sharks - NWAOnline - August 10th, 2020
- Releases of the week on Netflix: High Seas, Slender Man and more - Checkersaga - August 10th, 2020
- The best and most beautiful boating holidays in the UK and Europe this year - iNews - August 10th, 2020
- Maintaining Command of the Sea: Maritime Doctrines of Pakistan and India - Modern Diplomacy - August 10th, 2020
- Alta Mar season 4 Netflix release date: Will there be another series of High Seas? - Express - August 7th, 2020
- To Protect Seabed, Countries Should Thoroughly Review Proposed Mining Projects - The Pew Charitable Trusts - August 7th, 2020
- GTA Online is getting new missions, cars, and races next week - PCGamesN - August 7th, 2020
- Puerto Rico to Repair Pier 3 in San Juan - The Weekly Journal - August 7th, 2020
- The Best Movies and TV Shows New to Netflix, Amazon and Stan in Australia in August - The New York Times - August 7th, 2020
- The US military has options against China | TheHill - The Hill - August 7th, 2020
- Muddying the Waters - Architecture - e-flux - E-Flux - August 7th, 2020
- 'High Seas' Season 3 Review: A murder, a deadly virus and new players put Eva on guard but where is Nicolas? - MEAWW - August 7th, 2020
- Apple's Refreshed 27-Inch iMac Looks to Be a Powerhouse and the End of an Era - Gizmodo UK - August 7th, 2020
- Here's Everything New Coming To Netflix This Week, August 6 - BuzzFeed - August 7th, 2020
- Where are Tropical Weather Forecasts Made? - The Maritime Executive - August 7th, 2020
- Whats new on Netflix in August 2020 all the shows and movies coming soon - RadioTimes - August 7th, 2020
- 'High Seas' Season 3 Preview: Eva and Carolina need to solve the new mystery before it's too late - MEAWW - August 7th, 2020
- 'High Seas' Season 3: Meet Ivana Baquero, Jon Kortajarena and rest of the cast of the Netflix series - MEAWW - August 7th, 2020
- All Aboard! Target Has Ghostly Pirate Ship Cat Scratchers and, Yep, There's a Poop Deck - POPSUGAR - August 6th, 2020
- Windbound Preview - The Most Relaxing Survival Game You'll Play This Year - Twinfinite - August 6th, 2020
- Mahlon Reye Boats on Deadliest Catch: What Boat Was Mahlon Reye On? - The Cinemaholic - August 6th, 2020
- Isaias strengthens into a hurricane, South Jersey in forecasted path - Press of Atlantic City - August 6th, 2020
- Giants' Judge says sacrifice needed for NFL to have season - Press of Atlantic City - August 6th, 2020
- Friday brings rain, storms, repeat of last week, also watching Iasias - Press of Atlantic City - August 6th, 2020
- Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Will Never Make It in Hollywood, Expert Claims - Showbiz Cheat Sheet - August 6th, 2020
- Men are rescued after leaving a message on an island - Explica - August 6th, 2020
- Everything Coming To Netflix This Week: August 1st August 9th - Grit Daily - August 3rd, 2020
- Wet pattern continues as two weather systems bring rain to over 25 states - WGRZ.com - August 3rd, 2020
- Rare, million-dollar copies of a letter written by Christopher Columbus replaced with fakes - 60 Minutes - CBS News - August 3rd, 2020
- 7 New Netflix Shows in August 2020, and the Best Reasons to Watch - IndieWire - August 3rd, 2020
- Transformers Join the Battle in World of Warships Game Announced - Tformers.com - August 3rd, 2020
- Great white shark that pinged off Atlantic City, Ocean City leaves South Jersey - Press of Atlantic City - August 3rd, 2020