Where are you taking Amy for your 30th anniversary?

The Bahamas, I answered.

Oh my! Youre going to love Atlantis.

My mind suddenly filled with visions of turbocharged slides rocketing screaming kids under shark-filled pools, while sea turtles languidly swam through massive saltwater tanks tugging signs advertising the all you can eat conch fritters.

Uh...well, we wont be going to Atlantis.

Not us. Weve been to Disney World many times so why bother with a Bahamian version? We wanted to see the real Bahamas, up close and personal. For years weve seen the commercials and advertisements and often wondered; is the water really that blue, that clean, that amazing? Are the people really that friendly? Are the starfish really that big?

Six months ago, with our 30th anniversary on the horizon, we started to plan our trip and we knocked around a multitude of ideas and destinations; and we both kept coming back to the tropics. Weve never been to the Caribbean and the thought of sinking our toes into a place that keeps time with the tides, where the sea is the clock, where we could relax and enjoy the peace and serenity that only a natural setting offers, was just too intriguing. And as we looked around, we were captivated by the Instagram account of Katie Storr. Shes a dive master for Stuart Coves Dive Bahamas and her underwater photos sold us on the Bahamas. Yeah, we wanted to do that.

Katie Storr

So we made our plans and blocked off our calendars. We would stay at Sandyport Beach Resort, go bird watching with Scott Johnson, Science Officer with the Bahamas National Trust, snorkel on Sandyports beach, take a cooking class at the Graycliff Hotel, find the best bar in Nassau, seek out Bahamian cuisine, take in the Bahamas Art Gallery, take a seaplane ride to Carriearl Hotel on Great Harbor, jump into a blue hole, snorkel some more, and finally go diving with the folks at Stuart Coves. After wed made our plans and were counting the days until our trip, the owners of Carriearl reached out to us and asked if wed mind being their guest chefs on our first night there.

Are you freakin kidding me!?

So how did it all go and what did we learn that would be of assistance to those planning their own Bahamas adventure? Well for one we brought too many pairs of underwear. Ill explain later.

We arrived at Lynden Pindling airport via American Airlines. We flew out of Charlotte, NC, on a day filled with rotten weather across the southeast and we had a relatively bumpy flight dodging thunderheads until we were a few miles off the coast of Florida. The weather broke and the clouds and turbulence gave way to a gorgeous blue sky and water that turned slowly from almost black to a shimmering turquoise. Bahamas means shallow sea, a name given by Christopher Columbus (yeah, that guy), and if youve never been to the Bahamas, the sight of that water can really bring out the child in an adult. As we eased below ten thousand feet and the vista opened up, animated voices filled the aircraft.

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Now to find an Uber. Uh...first lesson learned, Uber hasnt made it to the Bahamas, and there are no taxi services, only private taxis. Each taxi is independent so if youre staying at a hotel, or an AirBnb, the manager will have a few taxis he or she prefers. As the Bahamas are surrounded by 20 mph salt-laden air, the cars tend to look like outcasts of the latest Transformers movie. And they drive on the wrong side of the road so our first impression of the Bahamas was a bit of culture shock.

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We drive on the proper side of the road, John. So claims our friend Serena Williams. If you dont know, this group of islands was a British territory until 1973 and apparently the British left behind so many right-hand drive vehicles and wrong-side-of-the-road drivers, it made sense to continue driving on the wrong side of the road.

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Just enjoy the ride and marvel at the scenery.

photo courtesy Sandyport Resort

Our first three days were spent at Sandyport Beach Resort. If youre looking for a shimmering steel and glass hotel where a bucket of ice costs $5.00 ($6.50 with tip), look elsewhere. Sandyport is about five miles from downtown and an equal distance from the airport. Their rooms are tailored for those of us a little more self-sufficient. Theres a laundry, fully stocked kitchenettes and three or four restaurants within walking distance. Many more if you dont mind a miles walk. And the beach is but a very short walk away. Prior to check-in, Serena brought us to a local market and we grabbed a few necessities and some spectacular fresh grouper steaks for dinner, or breakfast.

Aaahhh, Mr. and Mrs. Malik, welcome to Sandyport.

Vernon Moss welcomed us with a disarming smile and a beefy handshake. The hotels General Manager, he was also our concierge and de facto guide during our stay. Hes a native Bahamian and happy to share the ins, outs and quirks of the Bahamas. Our second day we were scheduled to fly to Andros via a local airline with a 6:45 am departure. He wisely recommended arriving an hour prior to departure. As it was, we departed 25 minutes early. Why? Because all the passengers were there. Thanks, Vernon.

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Check in, had a quick look around, then into shorts and off to the beach.

And its breathtaking. The water is, well, see for yourself. This is about six feet of water beneath our Keens and we could count the scales on the yellowtail Snappers swimming beneath us.

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Two hours into our vacation and this is our first view from the beach. The bartender actually said its a bit hazy today, maybe tomorrow its going to be really beautiful.

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Sandyport is more than a hotel. Theres condos, apartments, shops and businesses and theyre all connected by a small harbor. The view from the balcony is worth the price of admission. From here we saw a multitude of fish, rays, birds, and even sea turtles. We were told a manatee and her calf were in the harbor but we didnt see them.

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After lunch at the Blue Sail, also right on the beach, the staff at Sandyport offered us snorkeling gear and we were off to the water. If youve never snorkeled, the Bahamas are a great place to learn. The water is clean enough that when you gulp down a quart, you wont become ill. Try doing that on an Atlantic beach and you might end up in ICU. And because the water is so shallow, theres very little in the form of waves, so you wont be dodging surf boards. The small rock jetty at Sandyport provided a haven for all manner of sea life including snappers, grunt, angelfish, sea stars, barracudas, porcupine fish...I could keep going. Complimentary snorkel gear, a three minute walk to the beach and after a few minutes in the water, and we were swimming through a massive saltwater aquarium.

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Wed been in the Bahamas less than three hours and we were already on sensory overload. It was time for a drink and we didnt have to go far, The Blue Sail Cafe, owned by Chef Jacques Carlino, a Frenchman with a penchant for turning out amazing pastries, is right there. And with this view, why get into a taxi?

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The lunch menu looked familiar to anyone thats dined at a country club in the states. A variety of sandwiches, burgers, cold salads and macaroni & cheese. Wait a minute...I thought I was in the Caribbean? Where were the mangos, papayas, pineapples, etc?

Sorry, Chef. This is the West Indies, not the Caribbean, and theres very little agriculture so not much locally grown fruits and vegetables. So we settled on the wood fired pizza and to our surprise, it was pretty damn good. And who knew that the local brew, Kalik, would pair so well with sunshine and pizza?

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Soon we were back in the water for another swim because we wanted to earn our massage. We dont do yoga poses or juice cleanses, but were all about a real massage. And Sandyport has a great masseuse and an amazing setting for that massage.

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Eventually we did make it to downtown Nassau for a tour and a visit to the Graycliff Hotel and a cooking class with their chef, Elijah Bowe. Many years ago, Chef Bowe spent time in south Louisiana working for Chef John Folse, so we had plenty to talk about. Like myself, he is a disciple of Chef Paul Prudhomme. Chef Bowe is a natural showman, he engaged with us readily and entertained us with vignettes of his career and life in the Bahamas. He provided a station for each of us to join in on making conch chowder, snapper en papilotte, Caribbean slaw, and macaroni & cheese. The Graycliff is perhaps the most well-known restaurant in the Tropics due to their 200K+ bottle wine list.

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Murray Sweeting

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Our class was a three plus hour affair and if youre one for cooking classes and having fun in a professional kitchen, youll certainly enjoy this. After our class it was time for a walk around downtown Nassau.

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That evening, Vernon Moss and his wife took us to the Fish Fry neighborhood for Bahamian cuisine. Finally were going to have something local and authentic. And the menu is closer to a Calabash, NC fish house than what I was expecting. Fried fish, and shrimp, and conch, and wings, and burgers. French fries, slaw, and again macaroni & cheese. Vernon senses my disappointment and explains how everything on the islands, save for the two local beers and rums, must come in on a boat or barge. Theres very little industry in the Bahamas, and thats one of the reasons why the water is so clear. Tourism is the main industry and the Atlantis resort is the second largest employer, second only to the government.

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Alright I understand the limitations of transportation. However, if were going to stuff a barge full of french fries and hot house tomatoes, we could just as easily be sailing in tropical fruit and vegetables. For the life of me I was dumbfounded as to why someone wasnt serving or at least trying to create Bahamian cuisine. Sure we had delicious conch dishes but I couldnt see a distinct cuisine. Macaroni & cheese? Sorry my friends but theres nothing about that dish that can lay any sort of geographical stamp to the Bahamas, or the West Indies. Yet it was everywhere. Yes we had delicious food at the Graycliff and the conch chowder, conch salad, poached snapper en papillote, and guava duff felt very Bahamian/Caribbean but that was it as far as local dishes. Everywhere we went we were greeted with burgers, fries, pizza, etc. The place that several Bahamians recommended to us, Oh Andros, served us a mountain of fries, rice, Cole slaw, and macaroni and cheese with some amazingly fresh grilled snapper. Alright, I understand its tough to grow anything and most of the tourist clientele are Americans but how come some Bahamian chef hasnt stepped up and defined a true Bahamian cuisine?

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So if youre looking for a fine meal in the Bahamas, youll end up at an Italian or French themed restaurant. On one of our evening forays into Nassau, we spent a pastoral hour at the bar at Cafe Matisse. BJ Ramsay, their bartender, has the perfect antidote for a hectic afternoon downtown. Hes the bartender that every fine restaurant should have, a knowledgeable and engaging soul with an appreciation for spirits. After asking me if I prefer Scotch or Bourbon, (Bourbon) he poured me a glass of locally produced, wood-aged Jab sugar cane rum. And damn was it good. Notes of dried fig, fresh apricot, hints of white pepper and vanilla bean, and that sweetness of cane. Ive now got a small bottle in my personal bar.

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When we left Cafe Matisse, it was about 6:00 pm. And downtown Nassau had rolled up the sidewalks. We learned that when the cruise ships are docked, Nassau can be teeming with activity. When the ships whistle blows at 4:00 pm, most of the shops close up, too. So other than dining, theres not much going on by 5:00 pm.

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And heres the reason theres little agriculture on the Bahamas. Unlike the volcanic islands of the Caribbean, the Bahamas are limestone and the topsoil is rather shallow. Theres plenty of elevation on New Providence (the island thats home to Nassau) and in some places, one can walk or drive through small rises of it.

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On our fourth day we headed out to Carriearl Hotel on Great Harbor Cay courtesy Tropic Ocean Airways. When we first thought about a tropical vacation, Carriearl was what we had in mind. A small hotel (four rooms) on a small, quiet island with little distraction save for the water and adult beverages. So when the opportunity to stay at Carriearl came around, we were all in.

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On a trip of many firsts for us, perhaps my favorite was the seaplane flight. Our pilots were professional and courteous and entertained all of my questions on our ride, while Amy and Serena enjoyed the ride from the cheap seats. During our thirty minute ride, the visual majesty of the Bahamas was on full display. Shades of turquoise, sapphire, crystal, and indigo floated across our field of vision. In every direction, stretched out to the horizon, the water shimmered and glistened like a Monet in motion. Soon we were over Great Harbor. We flew parallel to the island, spotted our hosts on the beach, then cut across the island and landed perpendicular to the beach. When we touched, the water dispersed by the floats sparkled like diamonds in the sun.

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We taxied up to the beach, the engine was cut then Kent and Jack tugged the Cessna in backwards while Marty and his son Oliver helped us off. Seriously this may be perhaps the coolest thing Ive done.

From there it was a short walk up the beach to Carriearl.

So how do I accurately describe a visit to Carriearl? Again, if youre looking for Disney-style vacation, then Carriearl is not for you. Great Harbor Cay is sparsely populated, theres not really any night life, no theaters, no museums or attractions to speak of.

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However, if youve fantasized of spending real downtime, with 48 hours or more to do as little as possible and do it on the prettiest, quietest beach in this hemisphere, then Carriearl is waiting for you. Their restaurant is open six days a week and the bar is open seven, of course. Go for a swim, then grab a book off their shelf, a beer or rum at the bar then disappear into the luxury that only solitude can supply.

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While our bedroom had an excellent air-conditioner, we spent a lot of time in their common room, which was anything but. In the morning, Marty would open up the expansive glass doors and the dining room/sitting area became an extension of the beach. Of our three days there, the highs were in the mid 80s with a steady sea breeze.

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Angie & Marty have owned Carriearl for 12 years and only turned it into a hotel in 2012. Built in 1965 by Earl Blackwell, New Yorks Mr. Celebrity and the publisher of the Celebrity Register. Named after his parents, Carrie and Earl, its easily the most memorable hotel weve visited. Since we arrived on a Saturday and we were their guest chefs for the evening, we didnt have much time for lounging. We had a busy night in front of us, two appetizers, two entrees, and two desserts had to be prepped. When we agreed to do this, we didnt ask for anything special in the kitchen. Great Harbor is no different than the rest of the Bahamas, plenty of great seafood but very little locally grown anything. So along with chef Edison Lightbourne, we went to work on the nights menu.

Amy Malik

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Chef had some local shrimp, lots of sweet and spicy red peppers, garlic, onions, and romaine lettuce and that became grilled romaine lettuce with pickled shrimp and a spicy rouille. The loaves of whole wheat bread, English peas, lemon, fresh mozzarella, and pea shoots were turned into Welsh Rarebit with an English pea and lemon puree. And my bride turned almonds, eggs, and fresh mint into Almond macaroons with mint buttercream and vanilla ice cream. By 7:00 pm their dining room had filled with that happy sound of satisfied diners. Its a combination of forks on plates, of glasses being hoisted, of bread being buttered and wine being opened and for those of us behind the scenes, we often judge the satisfaction level of our guests just by the tempo of the dining rooms melody.

The next morning one of our guests, Steve Johnson, the local harbormaster, took us (and his friends Jay and Karen Campbell) on a trip across the sea to Hoffmans Cay where we snorkeled through spectacular water and caught enough conch for us to make a heavenly lunch of conch salad. As conch are over fished by commercial operators, Steve was careful to make sure we only used the larger conch, and we only used what we needed.

Jay Campbell

Jay Campbell

Jay Campbell

Jay Campbell

After a long day of boating and fishing and swimming, we were grateful for the comfort of Carriearl, the cold beer and the hospitality of Angie & Marty. Did I mention theyre British? On Sunday evenings, Chef Lightbourne prepares a classic English Sunday dinner of roast beef, Yorkshire pudding (popovers to you and me), and roasted vegetables. Sure it feels out of place, but so what? It was an amazing dinner, expertly prepared and graciously served.

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Remember how I mentioned taking too much underwear? Well on this leg of our Bahamian adventure, we admitted to bringing too much clothing. If youre headed to the Bahamas, its likely you wont need but one pair of dressy clothes. A nice pair of pants and shirt for the gents, a black dress for the ladies. Its warm and a bit humid in the Bahamas so keep it casual, dress loose and light. Shorts, loose clothing, walking shoes and a swimsuit. And a wide brimmed hat, too. The sun is relentless and theres plenty of shallow water and shiny sand for the suns rays to bounce off of, so bring your sunscreen. Keep in mind that snorkeling is a great way to fry ones scalp so lube up that head as well. Our hotels had a solid supply of snorkeling gear and likely the other ones do as well so we didnt bother bringing any, even though friends offered to loan it.

Seriously though, when youre hanging out at a bar with this view, youre not going to care what youre wearing.

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Carriearl harkens back to a different time. Its an oasis in the middle of the sea; a simple, rustic retreat thats delightfully luxurious and properly British. Even though theres WiFi, we tried to stay off it. Because one can always get on Facebook, but a view like this was only going to be ours for a few days. And in those few days, we swam and danced across the prettiest, most secluded beach weve seen, swam with an amazing collection of fish and sea life including a barracuda, jumped into the deepest blue hole, enjoyed wonderful meals, and made friends for life.

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Enjoy this video I made to showcase our flight and stay at Carriearl.

Originally posted here:

The Bahamas, for Two - HuffPost