Forward, ho!

Deep in the forest a call was sounding, and as often as he heard this call, mysteriously thrilling and luring, he felt compelled to turn his back upon the fire and beaten earth around it, and to plunge into the forest, and on and on, he knew not where or why; nor did he wonder where or why, the call sounded imperiously deep in the forest.- Jack London- Call of the Wild

I have this quote stuck up at my desk at eye level and I read it several times during my work day. Call of the Wild is one of my favourite books and when things seem not quite right in life, I can pick it up and read it to soothe whatever angst I am feeling. I love the style of Londons writing as much as the content and themes of the book- his colourful characters and perfectly abbreviated descriptions of nature can lead me to a land of daydreams and lustful desire for wilderness and wildness. The books central theme of heeding the call within reminds me of what I love and why I do it. I dont believe in fate, pre-destined paths and soul mates but I do think each of us has something, or even several things, that feel like home to us. The thing that when we do it or perhaps even think about it, brings us a sense of calmness, completeness and dispels that gnawing feeling in the gut that accompanies those tasks, thoughts and people that are not innately right for us. The best (and probably least imaginative) explanation I have is that it comes from the big formative years of our lives- our childhood and youth. I think that finding what this call is within ourselves is one of the first steps to reclaiming our happiness and taking responsibility for it.

My call that is sounding is of the soil, seeds and leaves which makes my horticulture course feels right. One by one all of the aspects of my life are shifting into place and I truly believe that it is because I am doing what I am meant to be. The happiness and confidence that is coming from doing what nourishes me is overflowing into other areas. The biggest difference by far is that I feel awake. And being awake means feeling alive. Being alive means not being another loser going through the motions on autopilot, thinking about, but never acting on those niggling thoughts that something is out of place and there must be more to life.

Its only been about eight months since the inception of this blog and the main themes of escaping wage slavery and living a more deliberate and meaningful life are already coming to fruition. I use the word fruition in a loose sense, as I am coming to learn my major goals are ongoing and unlikely to ever cease in my life. I currently dont need to earn a full time income to support my needs (although saving money is not an easy task) and virtually all of my time is spent on activities that I find meaningful and add value to my life and hopefully others. Im busy but my days and nights are not loaded with useless busyness, tasks to fill in gaps, doing things to kill time.

Killing time. The thought inspires a horrible sense of dread in me. We all have the same number of hours in the day and life is way too open handed with opportunities to comfortably entertain the idea of killing time. Wasted time, money and food used to be my top personal criticisms and it is the economy and salvation of those in between and once passive moments of time that have been the biggest beast to conquer. If you finding you are killing time waiting for someone or something find ways to use that time. Creatively daydream, write, read, listen to a podcast- please, please, please dont kill your time.

The main problem with this great obsession for saving time is very simple: you cant save time. You can only spend it. But you can spend it wisely or foolishly. Benjamin Hoff- The Tao of Pooh

My 40 Before 40 list feels like it is going slowly, but this is only because so many of the items on the list are really, really big and require a long term commitment (something I have never excelled at). In the last week alone I have worked on the following items:

I have also adjusted the list to better fit me by changing Run a half marathon (I actually dont enjoy running at all) to Hitchhike 10,000kms and Visit Every Continent (this is implicit in the other items) to Attend Burning Man. I figure a couple of changes as I grow is not only permissible but something to be encouraged. Having strict goals and ideals often puts blinkers on life and prevents us from seeing the other opportunities that arise.

Be flexible and spend your time wisely.

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