Is your spirituality toxic or authentic? Here's how to tell.
What is spiritual bypassing? You may not recognize this term, but it's been around since the 1980s.
According to John Welwood, the Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist who coined the term, spiritual bypassing means having a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks."
RELATED: How To Recognize Signs Of Spiritual Awakening In Your Life & What To Do About It
A strong spiritual practice can provide you with resources and tools to stay calmer and more centered in your life, especially during times of stress.
Breathwork, meditation, prayer, walking in nature what could be the downside of that?
Having a positive outlook and maintaining hope are two keys to better health as a whole except when they are used to cover up, avoid, minimize, or deny a problem that needs to be resolved.
This then becomes something called spiritual bypassing, rather than an authentic spiritual practice.
While spiritual enlightenment is the expressed goal of the practices and ideas of the seeker, pseudo-enlightenment that covers over your anger, your secrets, and mistakes is not really enlightenment.
That is more like trying to put a Band Aid on a wound that wasn't cleaned first: The dirt is still there and can even lead to infection.
Just like the ghosts that keep reappearing to haunt fairytales, Shakespeare, and your dreams, the ghosts of your unfinished business will continue to emerge until they have been acknowledged, resolved, and perhaps even befriended.
You may know spiritual seekers or workshop junkies who frequently run to the next guru or newest practice seeking answers.
They may feel better for a short time, but frequently find that they cannot maintain the high they got following the latest retreat they attended or book they read.
During times of high anxiety or social unrest like we are currently experiencing spiritual bypassing becomes more common.
However, thisleads to a compensatory coverup, rather than resolution. Spiritual bypassingskips the hard work of really confronting your own demons, mistakes, and family legacy burdens and doing the real work of deep healing.
A patina of whitewash cannot heal the wounds of growing up in an alcoholic family, or with an abusive parent, or a long history of being bullied at school, or subject to ingrained systemic racism.
Learn to identify when you're recycling a past hurt or catastrophizing an imagined future.
Then, practice using an image such as a bubble or a containment field to remove negative thought patterns and externalize them.
In the Buddhist symbol of yin and yang, the white swirl of the yin contains the black dot of the yang, and the back swirl of the yang contains the white dot of the yin.
Pretending that something is all good doesnt make it so. There is both good and bad in the world, often in the same situation or person.
Except for moments of delicious grace, you do not stay in an enlightened state. As the Dalai Lama said, After enlightenment, the laundry.
Find a healthy balance between being connected and detached from yourself, others, and ideas.
Your dreams contain unadulterated truths that the censor of your waking mind has not yet contaminated with judgement.
This is to both record your dreams and to incubate new and healing ones. Spend a few minutes before bed writing down the healing,enlightenment, or resolution you desire, and then end with a question about how to attain it.
Write down the dream you have, then receive on the same page: Some of the answers to your questions will be embedded therein.
RELATED: 7 Reasons Why Finding Love Is Important For Spiritual Growth
Continuing to be easily triggered and strugglingwith uncomfortable emotions is often a signal of a spiritual bypass.
We have patterns in our lives we repeat until we become aware of them, continuing to fall into the same hole. Only once they have become conscious do you have choices.
The work of clearly seeing these patterns or "ghosts" involves addressing the root cause of your anger and fear.
Where did you learn to swallow your true feelings? Where did you learn never to truly trust anyone? Where did you learn that grace and forgiveness were for others, but not for you?
You can move the root sources of your pain up from their buried depths in your unconscious through good therapy, strong dreamwork, and a real commitment to get down into the mess.
All genuine relationships even ones with ourselves have and slog through the mud.
Working through the issues, whetheror not the people you struggle with are currently in your lifeor even on this Earth, frees you to be able to really use the spiritual practices without avoiding reality or denying issues.
Sitting in meditation where you name the feelings without judgment and with compassion for yourself and the others is also a path of healing.
Sylvia Bornstein, noted meditation teacher, recommends that you say to yourself, Sweetheart, youre suffering. Im so sorry.
Self-compassion is one of your hardest and most important lessons.
RELATED: What Is An Old Soul & What Age Is Your Zodiac Sign?
Let's make this a regular thing!
Linda Yael Schiller, MSW, LICSW is a body, mind, and spiritual psychotherapist, consultant, and international speaker. For more on how she can help you, look into her book, Modern Dreamwork: New Tools for Decoding Your Souls Wisdom, or visit her website.
See original here:
What Is Spiritual Bypassing? 7 Steps To Avoiding Toxic Spirituality - YourTango
- The Lives of Others - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Aliens and Spiritual Enlightenment - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Dreams - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Open Your Eyes - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Spiritual Enlightenment and Grizzly Bears - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- I’m Alive! - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Seeing the World - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- First Taste of Spiritual Enlightenment - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Pause - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Welcome - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Resurrection Needed for the Catholic Church, not Jesus. Christianity, Islam ... - American Chronicle - April 5th, 2010 [April 5th, 2010]
- The Secret of Kells - Harvard Crimson - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Taylor: The true Easter within - Lake County News - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- CHOICES! Your Go To Source for Enlightenment! / Spiritual Movie Morning - WCNC (subscription) - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Sex Swami duped firangs in the US - NDTV.com - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Girls' school defies Taliban terror - Times Online - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Shen Yun Performers Present Spiritual Connotation with Life - The Epoch Times - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Yoga Draws Criticism - TopNews United States - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Banjamin Bratt: 'I Wanted to Be Anything But an Actor' - Palm Beach Post - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- The History of Buddhism - MPBN News - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Secrets of the Catholic Church - The National Law Journal - April 9th, 2010 [April 9th, 2010]
- U-Theatre of Taiwan dance troupe's West Coast debut spotlights its virtuosity - OregonLive.com - April 9th, 2010 [April 9th, 2010]
- Religion Calendar - Montreal Gazette - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Siquijor conducts recollection for parolees - Philippine Information Agency - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Prayer for guidance - Inquirer.net - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- East Bay Buddhist temple strives to maintain relevance in new land - San Jose Mercury News - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Spiritual Journey: Stay-home mom Melody Melvin - The Huntsville Times - al.com (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- What Does The Buddha Have To Do With Jesus? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Laura Dern and William H. Macy Heading to Cable - Inside TV (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- American Guru Steven S. Sadleir brings Shaktipat to Spain and Italy - PR Web (press release) - April 11th, 2010 [April 11th, 2010]
- Who and What Is Buddha, Really? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 12th, 2010 [April 12th, 2010]
- The ACLU works to sap our spiritual strength - The Free Lance-Star - April 13th, 2010 [April 13th, 2010]
- Christ Enlightened, The Lost Teachings of Jesus Unveiled by Best-Selling ... - PR Web (press release) - April 13th, 2010 [April 13th, 2010]
- All About Kundalini Yoga - EmpowHer (blog) - April 14th, 2010 [April 14th, 2010]
- Catholic leadership's image tarnished by recurring scandal - Staunton News Leader - April 16th, 2010 [April 16th, 2010]
- Iowa Swami Who Beguiled the Jazz Age - New York Times - April 16th, 2010 [April 16th, 2010]
- More than a spiritual exercise - Nagaland Post - April 18th, 2010 [April 18th, 2010]
- Despite media smears, world and faithful have warmed to Benedict - Irish Times - April 18th, 2010 [April 18th, 2010]
- The Fool's Story in the Major Arcana - I-Newswire.com (press release) - April 19th, 2010 [April 19th, 2010]
- Pakistan's pre-Islamic art goes on show in Paris - DAWN.com - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- New author shares emotional enlightenment - The Trinidad Guardian - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- The theft of yoga - Washington Post (blog) - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- Enter the Realm of the Buddha - Georgetown University The Hoya - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Indian guru arrested over sex scandal: Police - Montreal Gazette - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Life Out Here: Tea Party with a twist - Imperial Valley Press (subscription) - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- April 25: A Turning Point for Today's China - The Epoch Times - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Nityananda bound devotees with non-disclosure agreements - Sify - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Buddhist Extremists in Bangladesh Beat, Take Christians Captive - Pakistan Christian TV - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Liberty and the Death of God - American Thinker - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- A Commentary on Religious Intolerance & the Dalai Lama - Subversify (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- The Fool's Story in the Major Arcana - BigNews.biz (press release) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Review: Seeking Life's Meaning - New York Times (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- An Analysis Of I Corinthians 15 - Blogger News Network (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Luxury in spiritual Ladakh, India - Times Online - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- JD Salinger: A 'Selfish Old Goat,' But Not a Perv - Politics Daily (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Sorry, your patent on yoga has run out - Washington Post (blog) - April 25th, 2010 [April 25th, 2010]
- Leggo my ego - Winnipeg Free Press - April 25th, 2010 [April 25th, 2010]
- Church Set to Regain Museum Treasures - The Moscow Times - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The multiple sides of Ricky Williams - San Diego Union Tribune - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The Dalai Lama, Buddhism, and Tibet: Reflecting on a Half-Century of Change - Student Pulse - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The Kumbh Mela: what can it teach us about mental health, consciousness and ... - Psychology Today (blog) - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS (DVD) - Film Threat - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- A Leg Up on “THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE” - FANGORIA (blog) - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The hottest docs at Hot Docs - Globe and Mail - April 29th, 2010 [April 29th, 2010]
- Florida Dems shut down state House - Politico - April 29th, 2010 [April 29th, 2010]
- Reading Energy Fields with Tanis Day - The Barrie Examiner - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Book flights to India for a luxury mountain retreat - Southall Travel - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- In death, mass murderer sees freedom - Citizens Voice - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Author Becky Walsh on enlightenment through sex - Dscriber - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Is Western Christianity Suffering From Spiritual Amnesia? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- The Road That Leads to Nowhere - The Road That Leads to You - New York News Today - May 2nd, 2010 [May 2nd, 2010]
- In Their Words: Her path to inner peace - Times Herald-Record - May 2nd, 2010 [May 2nd, 2010]
- Rielle, Oprah, and Zen America's Truth-Off - Politics Daily (blog) - May 3rd, 2010 [May 3rd, 2010]
- CathBlog - Newman's reasoned faith outshines postmodernism's dark stars - CathNews - May 13th, 2010 [May 13th, 2010]
- Light of the Sufis exhibit explores Islam's mystical side - Houston Chronicle - May 13th, 2010 [May 13th, 2010]
- The last word: In search of enlightenment, mindfulness and nirvana in Silicon ... - Financial Times - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- 'Light in the Wilderness,' by M. Catherine Thomas - Mormon Times - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Woodrow Wilson and the Progressive-Fascist Distinction - U.S. News & World Report (blog) - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Are You Praying to the Only True God? - WEBCommentary - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Haunting 'Lourdes' Revels in the Poetry of Ambiguity - HollywoodChicago.com - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]