ISOLATION is something SAS: Who Dares Wins star Ollie Ollerton knows a thing or two about.
During his time in the Special Forces, he would spend weeks locked down with just a handful of comrades for company, waiting for high pressure operations to begin.
7
TV host Ollie, 48, says: Youd be in a remote hangar somewhere, or waiting on a frigate, and youd have no idea if or when the operation would go down. We would have no contact with the outside world, its just you and your crew.
It could be tense not knowing if or when you were going into battle, but you just get through it. I think its why this lockdown isnt bothering me too much now!
But Ollie knows that for many people, lockdown is proving enormously challenging - financially, mentally and physically.
He hopes his new book, Battle Ready, will help - with techniques for changing your mindset for the better, no matter how dark the circumstances.
In the book, Ollie reveals for the first time that he was suicidal, after years of abusing alcohol and drugs.
Having left the Special Boat Service (SBS) in 2000, he went to work in Iraq as a security consultant, before following a girlfriend to Australia. It was during the subsequent years that he had panic attacks so bad he considered ending it all.
He writes: Id had a death wish sat on my shoulder for years. Maybe once or twice Id tried to appease it, pushing the envelope of danger a little too hard. But this was different, it wouldnt be a case of Ollie Ollerton, Special Forces soldier died bravely while engaged in a clandestine operation, but by my own hand.
Ollie says it has taken him until now to reveal exactly how much of a pit he had sunk into because he feared being seen as a cliche".
He says: In my own head I thought I sounded like a cliche. I think thats what holds a lot of people back from speaking out. But I wanted to be totally open and honest in this book. I am sick of people faking perfection.
At one point I could barely string a sentence together because I was in that much of a world of pain
For the same reason, Ollie speaks candidly about his alcohol addiction. While he was in the military, Ollie describes himself as a successful working alcoholic, bingeing while on leave but keeping it separate from the daring work he did in the SBS.
But once the structure of military life fell away and he entered the civilian world, his addiction spiralled out of control.
Meanwhile, he bounced between toxic relationships - Ollie says the first time he was ever single was aged 41 - and also started overusing Valium and steroids.
7
Ollie says: At one point I could barely string a sentence together because I was in that much of a world of pain.
"A lot of that was self-induced because there were drinking issues, I was over-excessively using Valium, I was on a path of destruction. I am an extremist, so once I went down that road I got very good at it unfortunately.
It was a chance meeting with a Special Forces contact who organised missions to save kids sold into the sex industry in South East Asia which was to provide Ollie with a path out of the darkness.
He went to Thailand with his contacts organisation, Grey Man, to rescue children sold into prostitution. On one mission alone they rescued 22 kids.
Ollie recalls: We had to do the job without weapons, so there were a lot of risks involved. But knowing these kids had been sold by their parents into a life where they knew they were going to be abused, that just didnt compute.
"For me, the goal was greater than than any risk. I had never felt settled in the Special Forces; it was my dream but when I got there it still didnt fulfil me. But then doing that work in Thailand, I finally felt fulfilled.
The Thai authorities, embarrassed by how Grey Man had highlighted their own failure to deal with the sex trade, put a stop to the organisations activities and threw them out of the country. But a new goal had been planted in Ollie - he wanted to do work that helped people.
He was living in Australia at the time but decided he needed to move back to Britain - and get clean.
Ollie says: I went to my mums cottage in Cornwall, which was empty, and I put myself into my own personal bootcamp to get my drinking under control. I got into a routine of healthy habits and that is still something I do to this day.
7
I dont drink anymore. Everything in my life has to have a purpose and if it doesnt it has to go. And alcohol just for me wasnt serving any purpose whatsoever.
Newly sober, Ollie set up his training company, Break Point, and later accepted a role as one of the DS (directing staff) on Channel 4 show SAS: Who Dares Wins, alongside fellow ex-Special Forces heroes Ant Middleton, Jason Foxy Fox and Mark Billy Billingham.
Having had time to reflect, Ollie says his addiction issues dont stem from any of the horrors he experienced in the Special Forces, but from his unusual childhood trauma - almost getting killed by a rogue circus chimp when he was ten.
Ollie had been transfixed by a baby chimp backstage at the circus in his hometown of Burton-on-Trent, when its 50kg mother suddenly leapt from the darkness and almost mauled him to death.
7
The experience was so traumatic that Ollie says it erased all his happy childhood memories, and as an adult it was what he tried to drown out with drink and drugs.
Ollie says: You cant expect something like that not to haunt you if you dont deal with it.
Recently, Ollie made an attempt to address his chimp trauma once and for all - with a mystic drug ceremony in Costa Rica.
He travelled to South America to take part in the ritual consumption of ayahuasca, a hallucinogenic plant said to induce visions which heal past trauma and spark spiritual enlightenment.
It may sound weird, but Ollie says it worked for him. He said: Ayahuasca helped me to stop seeing myself as the victim. In my vision I literally was the chimp and it helped me see it from the chimps point of view. She must have been very unhappy chained up in the circus, then she saw me as a threat to her young.
As the coronavirus crisis continues, Ollie is currently isolating at home in Shropshire with partner Laura, her son William and best mate Foxy - his co-star on SAS: Who Dares Wins.
7
7
Foxy had come to visit before lockdown was announced so stayed rather than return home to London.
Ollie said: I know Im very lucky and we have to appreciate the situation we are in because it is extremely tough for many people, and there are many more harsh times to come. I want people to be battle ready when this is over.
For now he hopes a new series of Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins, filmed last year in Scotland, will help keep the nations spirits up.
It sees the DS take on an unlikely lineup of celebrity recruits - including Joey Essex, John Fashanu, Anthea Turner - and Katie Price.
Ollie laughs: When you look at these personalities its like putting the worst recipe for a cake together, ingredients which do not go, and having to taste the cake at the end of it - when youre not allowed to spit it out! The nation will be gripped.
7
Extract from Battle Ready
In the Special Forces, a break point is used to Breathe, Recalibrate and Deliver in a pressured situation in order to engage the courage required to accomplish the uncomfortable. Its the difference between blind panic and taking control of your environment before it spirals out of control.
I latched on to the term break point when I was living in Australia. At the time Id started to realise that for years of using drink and drugs and chasing adrenalin highs in war zones in order to feel alive, Id been a fugitive on the run from the real me. Who am I? I wondered.
My recovery began with the self-admission that I had a problem I needed to address. It wasnt the world that was broken and needed fixing, it was me.
Id drunk myself into a cul-de-sac of blackouts from three-day binges that barely masked the pain, only for it to return with bigger teeth. But as soon as I started looking inwards for the answers all these positive molecules seemed to grow and coalesce and creative ideas started flowing.
Break Point is about changing the way we think as people. Its the moment you decide nothing will stand between you and your goals and youre prepared to step into the discomfort in the short term for the long-term gain.
Ollie has recommended an exercise to help people who are struggling amid coronavirus, titled: 'What's worth worrying about and what you can't control'.
He says: "Write out a list of things that worry you and get you down. It may be a long list.
Now make a second list from the first, but this time only include the entries you can control. Youll see that there are actually very few things you currently worry about that you can control.
HEY BIG SPENDERSCelebs craziest buys from Drakes 314K mattress to Kanyes gold toilets
HOLLY-RUDEScandals behind Netflix's Hollywood including 'Mr Sex' who fixed A-list orgies
ALL FIRED UPHow Piers Morgan and Alan Sugar were best of frenemies until coronavirus feud
Exclusive
GOOD HEAVENS!Our strict religious parents secretly ran hardcore gay porn store for YEARS
SNEAK PEAKFrom messy beds to slides: inside the elaborate celeb homes of One World gig
By accepting that there are things you just cant change, you start to let them go and immediately feel lighter.
The one thing you have 100 per cent control of, the one person whose behaviour you can change, is you. Accept you cant control others, forget about things that havent happened yet. When you reduce your list of worries you create more space for creativity and to focus on your priorities.
This is essentially what being Battle Ready is all about identifying the stuff that holds you back, dealing with it and getting on with your goals."
Ollie Ollerton 2020. Extracted from 'Battle Ready: Eliminate Doubt, Embrace Courage, Transform Your Life' to be published by Blink Publishing on 30 April 2020 at 20. Audiobook read by Ollie Ollerton available as a Digital Download.
Read the original:
- The Lives of Others - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Aliens and Spiritual Enlightenment - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Dreams - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Open Your Eyes - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Spiritual Enlightenment and Grizzly Bears - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- I’m Alive! - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Seeing the World - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- First Taste of Spiritual Enlightenment - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Pause - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Welcome - November 8th, 2009 [November 8th, 2009]
- Resurrection Needed for the Catholic Church, not Jesus. Christianity, Islam ... - American Chronicle - April 5th, 2010 [April 5th, 2010]
- The Secret of Kells - Harvard Crimson - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Taylor: The true Easter within - Lake County News - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- CHOICES! Your Go To Source for Enlightenment! / Spiritual Movie Morning - WCNC (subscription) - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Sex Swami duped firangs in the US - NDTV.com - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Girls' school defies Taliban terror - Times Online - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Shen Yun Performers Present Spiritual Connotation with Life - The Epoch Times - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Yoga Draws Criticism - TopNews United States - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Banjamin Bratt: 'I Wanted to Be Anything But an Actor' - Palm Beach Post - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- The History of Buddhism - MPBN News - April 6th, 2010 [April 6th, 2010]
- Secrets of the Catholic Church - The National Law Journal - April 9th, 2010 [April 9th, 2010]
- U-Theatre of Taiwan dance troupe's West Coast debut spotlights its virtuosity - OregonLive.com - April 9th, 2010 [April 9th, 2010]
- Religion Calendar - Montreal Gazette - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Siquijor conducts recollection for parolees - Philippine Information Agency - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Prayer for guidance - Inquirer.net - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- East Bay Buddhist temple strives to maintain relevance in new land - San Jose Mercury News - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Spiritual Journey: Stay-home mom Melody Melvin - The Huntsville Times - al.com (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- What Does The Buddha Have To Do With Jesus? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- Laura Dern and William H. Macy Heading to Cable - Inside TV (blog) - April 10th, 2010 [April 10th, 2010]
- American Guru Steven S. Sadleir brings Shaktipat to Spain and Italy - PR Web (press release) - April 11th, 2010 [April 11th, 2010]
- Who and What Is Buddha, Really? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 12th, 2010 [April 12th, 2010]
- The ACLU works to sap our spiritual strength - The Free Lance-Star - April 13th, 2010 [April 13th, 2010]
- Christ Enlightened, The Lost Teachings of Jesus Unveiled by Best-Selling ... - PR Web (press release) - April 13th, 2010 [April 13th, 2010]
- All About Kundalini Yoga - EmpowHer (blog) - April 14th, 2010 [April 14th, 2010]
- Catholic leadership's image tarnished by recurring scandal - Staunton News Leader - April 16th, 2010 [April 16th, 2010]
- Iowa Swami Who Beguiled the Jazz Age - New York Times - April 16th, 2010 [April 16th, 2010]
- More than a spiritual exercise - Nagaland Post - April 18th, 2010 [April 18th, 2010]
- Despite media smears, world and faithful have warmed to Benedict - Irish Times - April 18th, 2010 [April 18th, 2010]
- The Fool's Story in the Major Arcana - I-Newswire.com (press release) - April 19th, 2010 [April 19th, 2010]
- Pakistan's pre-Islamic art goes on show in Paris - DAWN.com - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- New author shares emotional enlightenment - The Trinidad Guardian - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- The theft of yoga - Washington Post (blog) - April 20th, 2010 [April 20th, 2010]
- Enter the Realm of the Buddha - Georgetown University The Hoya - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Indian guru arrested over sex scandal: Police - Montreal Gazette - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Life Out Here: Tea Party with a twist - Imperial Valley Press (subscription) - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- April 25: A Turning Point for Today's China - The Epoch Times - April 22nd, 2010 [April 22nd, 2010]
- Nityananda bound devotees with non-disclosure agreements - Sify - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Buddhist Extremists in Bangladesh Beat, Take Christians Captive - Pakistan Christian TV - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Liberty and the Death of God - American Thinker - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- A Commentary on Religious Intolerance & the Dalai Lama - Subversify (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- The Fool's Story in the Major Arcana - BigNews.biz (press release) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Review: Seeking Life's Meaning - New York Times (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- An Analysis Of I Corinthians 15 - Blogger News Network (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Luxury in spiritual Ladakh, India - Times Online - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- JD Salinger: A 'Selfish Old Goat,' But Not a Perv - Politics Daily (blog) - April 24th, 2010 [April 24th, 2010]
- Sorry, your patent on yoga has run out - Washington Post (blog) - April 25th, 2010 [April 25th, 2010]
- Leggo my ego - Winnipeg Free Press - April 25th, 2010 [April 25th, 2010]
- Church Set to Regain Museum Treasures - The Moscow Times - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The multiple sides of Ricky Williams - San Diego Union Tribune - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The Dalai Lama, Buddhism, and Tibet: Reflecting on a Half-Century of Change - Student Pulse - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The Kumbh Mela: what can it teach us about mental health, consciousness and ... - Psychology Today (blog) - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS (DVD) - Film Threat - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- A Leg Up on “THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE” - FANGORIA (blog) - April 28th, 2010 [April 28th, 2010]
- The hottest docs at Hot Docs - Globe and Mail - April 29th, 2010 [April 29th, 2010]
- Florida Dems shut down state House - Politico - April 29th, 2010 [April 29th, 2010]
- Reading Energy Fields with Tanis Day - The Barrie Examiner - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Book flights to India for a luxury mountain retreat - Southall Travel - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- In death, mass murderer sees freedom - Citizens Voice - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Author Becky Walsh on enlightenment through sex - Dscriber - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- Is Western Christianity Suffering From Spiritual Amnesia? - Huffington Post (blog) - April 30th, 2010 [April 30th, 2010]
- The Road That Leads to Nowhere - The Road That Leads to You - New York News Today - May 2nd, 2010 [May 2nd, 2010]
- In Their Words: Her path to inner peace - Times Herald-Record - May 2nd, 2010 [May 2nd, 2010]
- Rielle, Oprah, and Zen America's Truth-Off - Politics Daily (blog) - May 3rd, 2010 [May 3rd, 2010]
- CathBlog - Newman's reasoned faith outshines postmodernism's dark stars - CathNews - May 13th, 2010 [May 13th, 2010]
- Light of the Sufis exhibit explores Islam's mystical side - Houston Chronicle - May 13th, 2010 [May 13th, 2010]
- The last word: In search of enlightenment, mindfulness and nirvana in Silicon ... - Financial Times - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- 'Light in the Wilderness,' by M. Catherine Thomas - Mormon Times - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Woodrow Wilson and the Progressive-Fascist Distinction - U.S. News & World Report (blog) - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Are You Praying to the Only True God? - WEBCommentary - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]
- Haunting 'Lourdes' Revels in the Poetry of Ambiguity - HollywoodChicago.com - May 14th, 2010 [May 14th, 2010]