ONE of 22 siblings who grew up in Corks northside, Con Hurley has had a rollercoaster life.
The downs included becoming addicted to both alcohol and gambling, which cost him one marriage and almost a second.
But he has just celebrated one of his ups writing a book on his life about how he tackled his addictions. And Con wrote the book, called 'Shadows On My Shoulder', despite being dyslexic.
He was born in 1961 into an exceptionally large family of brothers and sisters; some of whom died in childbirth. Times were tough but he and the Hurley family survived and thrived.
My mother, who married at 19 and who died age 52, suffered tough times rearing a very large family, says Con.
Invaluable life experience was gleaned from the school of hard knocks, for which there is no substitute, adds Con, who started work at the age of 10 selling newspapers around the city, before joining the army at 17.
However, after leaving the army he fell into a life of addiction which saw his life spiral out of control.
My mind was fixated on the excitement of gambling and nothing could drag me away from it, says Con.
Many was the time I had the opportunity to quit the habit, but I resisted.
We start by going back to his humble roots.
The nuns were very good to us, says Con. My sister Kim was sent to the convent to get bread and milk.
Both the nuns and the priests took pity on us. Some of our neighbours were very kind to us.
Mum made a big pot of stew on Mondays and made it last for days. To make the milk last, it was diluted with water. On weekends we had rabbit stew and other days chicken if we were lucky!
Some residents had toilet tissue, but we had to settle for undignified newspaper! This was cut into squares and placed on steel hangers on a block of wood alongside the toilet!
Was there any bit of fun for the Hurley siblings?
When mum and dad, who was in the army, went out, I was left minding the twins, says Con, who is himself is a twin.
I would take them out of bed and sit them on the steps on the stairs, and get covers from the pots and we would sing our hearts out.
Our favourite song was A Spoonful Of Sugar from the Mary Poppins movie. We sang songs and played a variety of games. Then wed head down to the sunbeam pond, and to Nashs Boreen.
During the summer months wed bring our jam-jars and buckets with us to collect blackberries.
After-school treats were a cream cake or a bag of Taytos on a Friday evening.
Con was among a bunch of 10 year-olds who would sell Echo newspapers in Cork city. Nearly all of them went to the North Cathedral School.
Eventually, being an Echo boy, I got my own pitch selling newspapers at the junction of North Main Street and South Main Streets. One of my favourite spots was South Mall where I got tips from customers who earned well.
Con was a hard grafter, bringing home the bacon.
Every penny I earned I brought home to my mother, who had so many mouths to feed. At 16, I worked delivering bread too. I remember my legs dangling out the back of the bread van. Our motto was drop, knock, and run! I told my pals I had a crumby job loafing around!
Con joined the army at 17, his main duty being as a chef in the kitchen. He met his first love in Curragh camp.
She was pregnant and even though I wanted to do the right thing, her parents didnt see it that way.
Con got his marching orders although he was united with his son many years later and found love thereafter with Irene. And he lost his mother.
You only have one mother, says Con.
Moving to Cork, Con and Irene should have been on the up and up, looking forward to a fresh start together.
We were both very happy, until I started to drink and gamble, says Con.
At the time we were living in a small but nice house in Wellington Road. One day I arrived home and found Irene had left. Shed had enough of my twin vices.
I managed to track her down and ask for one more chance. She agreed. After that we moved to Gardiners Hill where my daughter, Carol-Ann, was born. Kim-Marie arrived in the summer of 1987.
Unfortunately, when Con had to return to Dublin for army duty during the bin strike in late 1987, the family was separated and the marital relationship failed.
It was a sad time, says Con.
Times were hard, but he was resilient. He met Trisha, had two more children, and moved back to Cork from Dublin in 1995.
It seemed like life was good, says Con.
However, he didnt bargain on the scourge of the twin vices, alcohol and addiction, returning to haunt him.
When Trisha went to work, Id clean the house, do the ironing, and prepare the dinner so that shed think I was great, says Con.
Then Id make a beeline for the slot machines, telling myself that this was my own personal time. Three hours of gambling turned into six and more. I became engrossed in it. It took me over. After each visit Id be planning the next.
His personality changed.
I began a process of lying to cover my tracks. I became an expert in broken promises and covering my tracks.
What drove him to gamble with the nice life he had carved for himself after striving so hard for happiness?
I was in my element, says Con. Gripped by the buzz, the adrenaline, anticipating my next big win. Sometimes I wouldnt bother with tea or food. I was drinking heavily. Sometimes there was no food in the fridge. Debts were mounting.
He reassured Trisha with half-truths that things would change. He got a computer for their children, Brook and Greg, but he ended up playing poker on it in the spare room all night.
I lost concept of time or even what day it was. I was led back to the slot machines day in day out.
Trisha wanted to see the back of him.
I had messed up the love, respect and the trust of my wife and family. I had to go.
But there was a way back, a ray of hope.
I took the giant step and joined an organisation called Gamblers Anonymous, says Con. He learned about the Red Book of Twelve Reforming Traditions. He was a diligent student.
I attended all the Gamblers Anonymous meetings, fully participating in sessions with counsellors and stayed in their good books to get my life back on track.
They were wonderful and taught me when I went to Arbour House about dealing with day-to-day living.
Arbour House is a Cork city based rehabilitation treatment centre and community service dedicated to curing addictions.
Con eventually exorcised the twin demons of gambling and addiction.
The addictions had almost destroyed my life, he admits.
Today, life is good for Con. He lives in Mallow, and helps recovering addicts on the road to recovery. He is reunited with Trisha and he has great relationships with all of his children and his grandchildren.
He survived the school of hard knocks. Now he is thriving.
In 2017, Con graduated with a diploma in drug and alcohol addiction from the University of Limerick.
Im grateful to everyone who facilitated my recovery, says Con, who took early retirement from the army.
Not least to that mystical higher power which rekindled me in a faith that helped me climb over each obstacle, and find my way back to happiness.
Shadows On My Shoulder, by Con Hurley, is available in Spar, Farranree, the Post Office and Stop Shop, Poppins Road, Farranree, Blackpool Shopping Centre, outlets in Kanturk and Mallow. It costs 12, with 2 from each copy of the book being donated to Cork Penny Dinners.
Follow this link:
Cork man: I overcame twin demons of alcohol and gambling - Echo Live
- Gambling Addiction and Problem Gambling: Learn How to Stop ... - December 12th, 2016 [December 12th, 2016]
- Remote Gambling Association (RGA) - December 16th, 2016 [December 16th, 2016]
- William Hill Casino Club - Up To 150 Casino Bonus - December 19th, 2016 [December 19th, 2016]
- Gambling - The New York Times - December 31st, 2016 [December 31st, 2016]
- Trusted Online Gambling Sites Since 1996 - Online.Gambling.org - January 7th, 2017 [January 7th, 2017]
- Casino Gambling Web | Best Online Gambling News and Casinos ... - January 11th, 2017 [January 11th, 2017]
- Gambling Addiction and Problem Gambling - helpguide.org - January 15th, 2017 [January 15th, 2017]
- Industry: Crackdown on illegal gambling in the Philippines now ... - GamingTodaySlotsToday - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Military should screen for gambling disorder, GAO says - Virginian-Pilot - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Gambling with people's autonomy | Liberties | Risk | spiked - Spiked - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Bill introduced to lower age for legal gambling in Nevada - Las Vegas Review-Journal - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- FIFA YouTuber Pleads Guilty To Gambling Charges [UPDATE] - GameSpot - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Gambling Stock Roundup: Macau Sales Rise Again in January, Nevada Records a Drop in December - Yahoo Finance - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Super Bowl sets gambling record at Nevada sports books - Reuters - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Older gamblers face worse odds for addiction - Times Herald-Record - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- How to Handle Gambling Wins and Losses This Tax Season - TheStreet.com - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- GAO report recommends military members be screened for ... - wtkr.com - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- The Newest Challenge in Gambling: Finding Growth - Motley Fool - February 7th, 2017 [February 7th, 2017]
- Raising a question about gambling prohibition - Dothan Eagle - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- A Creepy Dude Is Your Inner Gambling Addict in These Horrifying PSAs From Tom Tagholm - Fishbowl NY (blog) - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- Super Bowl Betting Tally Helps Make the Case for Legalized Sports Gambling - TheStreet.com - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- MLB commissioner admits the league is rethinking its stance on gambling - FOXSports.com - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- Why I love fake gambling and in-game casinos according to a psychologist - PC Gamer - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- YouTubers fined for running illegal FIFA 17 gambling site - Ars Technica - February 8th, 2017 [February 8th, 2017]
- Deducting Gambling Losses on Your Taxes - TheStreet.com - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- Gambling pot grows for Madison County - Utica Observer Dispatch - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- How Vietnam Is Changing Its Gambling Rules To Win Foreign Investment - Forbes - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- No truth to alleged link between missing Spencerport teen, illegal gambling - 13WHAM-TV - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- The world's biggest gamblers - The Economist (blog) - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- Idaho House Panel Introduces Bill Limiting Indian Gambling - Boise State Public Radio - February 9th, 2017 [February 9th, 2017]
- Pennsylvania Omnibus Gambling Bill Presented to House - Casino.Org News - February 10th, 2017 [February 10th, 2017]
- Gamblers caught in Hat Yai open-air casino bust | Bangkok Post: news - Bangkok Post - February 10th, 2017 [February 10th, 2017]
- Men Fined Over FIFA Gambling Operation - Card Player - CardPlayer.com - February 10th, 2017 [February 10th, 2017]
- Rob Manfred may change MLB's stance on gambling - SB Nation - February 10th, 2017 [February 10th, 2017]
- Do you have a mobile gambling/gaming problem? - KMTV - February 10th, 2017 [February 10th, 2017]
- OUR VIEW: Transparency needed in gambling operations - Pacific Daily News - February 11th, 2017 [February 11th, 2017]
- New York State transformation into the gambling big leagues nearly complete with opening of newest casino - The Daily Freeman - February 11th, 2017 [February 11th, 2017]
- Kenya: Gambling in Kenya Gets Out of Hand - AllAfrica.com - February 11th, 2017 [February 11th, 2017]
- Gambling Responsibly - New York Times - February 11th, 2017 [February 11th, 2017]
- Duterte targets illegal gambling in the Philippines - Yahoo News - February 12th, 2017 [February 12th, 2017]
- US Grabs Biggest Global Gambling Industry Win Share in 2016 - Casino News Daily - February 12th, 2017 [February 12th, 2017]
- UFC 208 odds, gambling guide - MMA Fighting - February 12th, 2017 [February 12th, 2017]
- Calendar urges gamblers to cut their losses l Dayton, Ohio - Dayton Daily News - February 12th, 2017 [February 12th, 2017]
- Gambling Manga "Akagi" Begins Countdown to Conclusion - Crunchyroll News - February 12th, 2017 [February 12th, 2017]
- Football's gambling problem: You better, you better, you bet - Football365.com - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- States are gambling with law enforcement safety - The Hill (blog) - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- AFL's gambling ads concern for Cats star - Wide World of Sports - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- Celeb Gambling Ring Members Fear They've Been CAUGHT On Wiretaps Making Illegal Bets, Source Claims - Radar Online - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- Highway Patrol: Raid of Warren bar uncovers illegal gambling - WKBN.com - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- Scary graph shows how Australians are the biggest losers - NEWS.com.au - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- Bato: War on illegal gambling won't be bloody - Philippine Star - February 13th, 2017 [February 13th, 2017]
- Last holdout Lakewood to vote on repealing video gambling ban - Northwest Herald - February 14th, 2017 [February 14th, 2017]
- AFL's gambling ads a concern for Geelong Cats star Harry Taylor - The Age - February 14th, 2017 [February 14th, 2017]
- Online Casinos Generate A Third Of UK Gambling Dollars - CardPlayer.com - February 14th, 2017 [February 14th, 2017]
- Darlington deputies bust gambling house in Hartsville | News ... - SCNow - February 14th, 2017 [February 14th, 2017]
- Kim Jong Un's gambling half-brother reportedly assassinated - CBS News - February 14th, 2017 [February 14th, 2017]
- BitcoinCasino.us Ensures Instant Payouts and Responsible Gambling - newsBTC - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- Gambling operators are cashing in on teens' addiction to online games - The Canberra Times - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- Americans Lost $116.9B Gambling In 2016: Report - CardPlayer.com - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- Levine: Rick Hahn, White Sox Gambling On Right Trades At Right Time - CBS Local - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- Wesfarmers considers pokies exit in bid to tackle problem gambling - ABC Online - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- Massive felony gambling raid in Marietta | WAGA - FOX 5 Atlanta - February 15th, 2017 [February 15th, 2017]
- 'War on gambling' starts with small fry - Inquirer.net - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Edgeless Casino Introduces Revolutionary Transparent 0% House Edge Online Gambling - newsBTC - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- FF12: When is gambling illegal in Kansas? - KWCH - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Osage woman accused of stealing, gambling mother's money - Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- 'Operation Parlay' Leads To Gambling Raid, Arrest - Patch.com - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Pete Rose defends legal gambling: 'Who am I hurting?' - Yahoo Sports - Yahoo Sports - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Cops bust alleged gambling ring being run out of Cobb storefronts - Atlanta Journal Constitution - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Dunlap: State Rep. Gets It Right With Sports Gambling - CBS Local - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Gambling Addiction Treatment Center, Rehab - Non Gambler - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Problem Gambling Online Resources - Drugfreeinfo.org - February 16th, 2017 [February 16th, 2017]
- Attleboro seeks gambling grant for new dispatch center - The Sun Chronicle - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- House gambling bill teed up for next week - SaintPetersBlog (blog) - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- Firms oppose Bill regulating gambling - Daily Nation - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- Tim Simona faces NRL deregistration after alleged breaches of gambling rules - The Sydney Morning Herald - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- Washington State Gambling Commission - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- Online Casino USA Friendly Online Casinos for 2017 - February 17th, 2017 [February 17th, 2017]
- Records: 70 gambling machines seized, two arrested in Alamo raid ... - KGBT-TV - February 18th, 2017 [February 18th, 2017]
- Florida House Goes Conservative on Gambling Expansion with New ... - Casino News Daily - February 18th, 2017 [February 18th, 2017]