BENES: Humility is the key – San Angelo Standard Times

Becky Benes, Special to the Standard-Times Published 1:04 a.m. CT Feb. 25, 2017 | Updated 4 hours ago

SAN ANGELO For the past 10 months, I have suffered from yet another frozen shoulder. Yes, this is now the left shoulder. The first week of February, I had had it. The pain was too much to bear. I finally was willing to succumb to another hormone shot, something I resist and avoid at all costs. However, the doctor was not available until April.

In my desperation, I had a very passionate "come to Jesus meeting and demanded a solution." After all, I had done everything within my power to unfreeze it and rectify it to health. I had prayed, used positive affirmations and every holistic means possible. I was miffed that my shoulder was not healed. After all, I did have the faith at least the size of a mustard seed, so what was up with this deal?

As I left my "come to Jesus" meeting, this is the awareness I gleaned: "Becky, you are a spiritual snob. You are full of spiritual pride."

What does that mean?

"It means you have never surrendered this to me nor taken advice I have set your way. You think you are too "spiritual" to ask others to pray for you or to seek help."

The tears began to fall. Wow, this was so true. Humbled to the core, I became willing to ask for prayer and help.

Miraculously, when I got home, I had a message that my doctor could fit me in the next morning.

After meeting with the doctor, I was informed that a shot was not an option and surgery was the plan. Plus, he had an opening in less than 48 hours. I was dumbfounded and taken off guard. This was not my plan, I was willing for a shot, but surgery was too much.

In complete surrender, I reached out to my coach and close spiritual friends to help me walk this journey. My spiritual pride, which I had never noticed before, was having a field day. Ringing thoughts in my ears so loud, I could no longer deny it was there. The thoughts were things like, "If you were more spiritual, you would have been healed. If you had any faith at all, you would not need surgery. Then it would flip, saying, "Don't let them do it, you know better than the doctor, you can heal yourself, you just need more time." Sadly, I could go on.

Eventually, a friend suggested, "Becky, would you consider that the doctor and the surgery are the vehicles through which God is offering healing? Perhaps, this is your miracle." This was a huge breakthrough for me. I had forgotten that it is my job to ask and God's job to deliver. And God's plan might not be my plan. And that God works through all people.

That evening, I humbly asked people to pray for me via Facebook. This was a huge step for me, it was public expression of my complete surrender that I couldn't but God could through the hands and feet of others, if I was willing to be open to receive it.

Eight days after my surgery, in my meditation book, Around the Year with Emmet Fox, Feb. 18, the entire page addresses spiritual pride. Fox, in his discourse about the verse in the Lord's Prayer, "Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil," suggests that those of us who pray become more sensitive and more powerful in our prayers. This also makes one susceptible to different forms of temptations, like "to work for self-glory, for personal distinction; and beyond all other temptations the deadly sin of spiritual pride."

Fox goes on to say, "Many who have surmounted all other testings have lapsed into self-righteousness, that has fallen like a curtain of steel between them and God."

Wow, if that is not the icing on the cake. I have read this book for years and have never seen or read this passage. Now in black and white, there it is. Plain and clear just for me. What a humbling experience and yet another reminder of the process of spiritual unfoldment. This brings home the Zen saying, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water."

Spiritual growth is an on-growing process, not a goal or an end-result we achieve. However, if we become self-righteous (all-knowing) believing we are better or less than another in any area of our life be it spiritual, political or professional, a steel curtain separates us from God and others. We gridlock and become closed to different perspectives and ideas. Our hearts and minds become solid and not fluid with possibilities.

Perhaps humility is the key to lift the steel curtain that stands in our way of our union with God.

It's something to consider.

Becky Benes, a resident of San Angelo, is a transformational speaker and certified business coach. Her column appears on the second and fourth Saturday of the month. For more information, go to OnenessOfLife.com.