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Category Archives: Futurism

Watch The Deckhouse Of The Most Futuristic Ship Drop Into Place

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No matter which way you slice it, the new Zumwalt-class destroyer is one of the most futuristic ships in the world. That sort of futurism isn't limited to its operations on water. It starts even while it's being built, as they basically snap the whole thing into place like Lego bricks.

The USS Michael Monsoor, named after a US Navy SEAL killed during the Iraq War when he jumped on a grenade to save his teammates and posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor, is currently under construction at Bath Iron Works in Maine. Modern warships aren't entirely built from the keel up, as in traditional shipbuilding. Instead, huge sections of the ship are fabricated in blocks on land, and then attached together.

That's basically what you're seeing here. In the Michael Monsoor's case, the deckhouse, as the big sticking-up bit is known, was manufactured in Mississippi, then placed on a barge and shipped up to Maine for final assembly, where it was placed on top of the rest of the hull.

The deckhouse of the ship itself isn't made out of super-hardened steel, as you would find on a destroyer of old, but rather a carbon fiber-balsawood (yes, balsawood, the same as you find on model airplanes) composite. Carbon fiber itself is incredibly strong, and by using it in the deckhouse up top, it saves a ton of weight and lowers the center of mass in the tumblehome hull design. The carbon fiber-balsa combination also resists corrosion and adds to the boat's already considerable stealthiness, which are two huge factors in building a ship of the future.

Despite the lightweight construction, the deckhouse still weighs about 1000 tons, making this an incredibly impressive lifting job in its own right. But once everything was in place and the deckhouse was up in the air, the only thing left to do was slide the rest of the 610-foot-long ship underneath it. And then, you know, install all the radars, antennas, and everything else that goes inside it, and integrate it all together.

But from the sounds that the Navy is making, it appears as if it's all going well. Expect to see the USS Michael Monsoor in commission in 2016.

Update: We've changed the headline to reflect a slight wording issue. In Navy terms, the "head" is the toilet. The deckhouse is not a giant toilet, despite our wildest dreams.

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Watch The Deckhouse Of The Most Futuristic Ship Drop Into Place

Margaret Atwood speaker for U of Ls Calgary alumni dinner

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By Kuhl, Nick on January 13, 2015.

Lethbridge Herald

One of the countrys most respected writers will be the featured speaker at the University of Lethbridges 2015 Calgary alumni and friends dinner on March 27.

Margaret Atwood, a well-known poet, novelist, story writer, essayist and environmental activist, will reflect on her career, the landscape in which it took shape and how writing can be a vote of confidence in the future.

Im not that different from other writers. In fact, Im not that different from other people because human beings are by nature storytellers; its just what we do, Atwood said in a release from the U of L. The narrative interest is a human interest; writers are just people that express it publicly.

Atwood is known as an authority in several subject matters, including feminism, environmental activism and futurism. The overlapping of these spheres in her novels, stories, poems, essays, and even tweets, has led to critical acclaim in Canada, the United States and Europe.

She has received numerous literary awards, including the Booker Prize, the Arthur C. Clarke Award, and the Governor Generals Award, twice.

To be able to bring a writer as accomplished and respected as Margaret Atwood to the Alumni & Friends Dinner is very exciting, said U of L president Mike Mahon.

Her voice is one that resonates throughout our country and the body of work she has created over the course of her career has established her place as a true Canadian icon.

The Calgary alumni and friends dinner was established in 2010 with the goal of bringing alumni together in fellowship, along with offering attendees a compelling and engaging speaker who reflects the values and goals of the University of Lethbridge.

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Margaret Atwood speaker for U of Ls Calgary alumni dinner

The Art of Noises: Experimental Composer and Musicologist Luciano Chessa Talks Mechanical Synthesizers and Noise …

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Though the mechanical Intonoarumori "wooden sound boxes, each with a cone-shaped metal speaker on its front" might seem rather primitive, there's plenty you can do with the instrument. World-renowned musicologist Luciano Chessa knows. He revealed his Intonarumori Ensemble in October 2009 at San Francisco's YBCA's Novellus Theater and that same year presented a performance at Town Hall in New York for PERFORMA 09.

He's been busy ever since. That 2009 concert, which received a "Best of 2009" mention in the New York Times, has spawned numerous concerts with the Intonarumori, which Chessa describes as "a mechanical synthesizer," and Cheesa has presented world premieres written by a wide array of cutting edge composers and ensembles that includes Blixa Bargeld, John Butcher, Tony Conrad, James Fei, Ellen Fullman, Ghostdigital with Finboggi Petusson and Caspar Electronics, Nick Hallett, Carla Kihlstedt + Matthias Bossi, Ulrich Krieger, Joan La Barbara, Pauline Oliveros, Pablo Ortiz, Mike Patton, Anat Pick, Elliott Sharp, Jennifer Walshe, Theresa Wong and Text of Light.

Chessa has also collaborated with people like Sonic Youth guitarist Lee Ranaldo and conducted the New World Symphony with Ranaldo for the premiere of his It All Begins Now! This week, he brings the ensemble to the Cleveland Museum of Art for a one-of-a-kind performance. After a week of rehearsals that are open to the public, Chessa's Intonarumoi Ensemble will perform at 7:30 p.m. on Friday at the museum. Chessa, who teaches music history and literature at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, recently spoke to us via phone about the performance.

Jeff Niesel: Talk about the performance that will take place in Cleveland.

Luciano Chessa: It's a performance that centers on the Orchestra Futurist Noise Intoners. Basically, it's a concert that centers on the reconstruction I made in 2009 of the earliest intoners. Luigi Russolo was first a painter and then a part of the Futurist movement. In 1912, he started to move toward sound. Working for a few months on these ideas, he came up with this new plan of shaping sound in the context of a concert that he called it the Art of Noise. "The Art of Noises" Manifesto came out and in a few months there were a number of instruments he had developed to produce the kind of sound he had written about.

The first presentation of the instruments happened in 1913 on Aug. 11. It was a press event that Marinetti, the father of futurism, had arranged to show Russolo's new instruments. He was building them in the summer of 1915 and had probably started building them while he was working on the manifesto. In that first concert, 16 instruments were used.

In 2009, I was asked to rebuild that first orchestra. It was a smaller one and a starting point. What I produced in 2009 was the first reconstruction of Russolo's orchestra and was what I could make on the basis of what I had available. It was mostly based on my research. I had written on Russolo and that eventually became a book but not until 2012. I had all this information around me and I had a sense of what was available and what should be guiding me. The concert in Cleveland is a performance with this reconstructed orchestra.

JN: How did you reconstruct the intoners? Did you modernize them?

LC: I like to refer to them as mechanical synthesizers. The idea that they're synthesizers is not mine. For a while, I was interrogating myself to what extent they were synthesizers. I think it's true but I came up with the idea that they were mechanical synthesizers so that differentiates them from electronic synthesizers. Everything is mechanical, even the circuitry.

It's not designed to produce any electronics but they were forefathers of electronic music. The approach he took of building the instrument was to designing each box with a certain timbre. It's what we would do later with electronic instruments. They only use electronic motors and the rest is cranks and wheels. It's mechanical and made with wood and drum skins and strings.

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The Art of Noises: Experimental Composer and Musicologist Luciano Chessa Talks Mechanical Synthesizers and Noise ...

Astronomers Have Discovered Eight Potentially Habitable Planets

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Credit: David A. Aguilar (CfA)

Astronomers have announced that they have discovered eight more planets that likely exist in temperature ranges where life could exist.

The astronomers began their research path by examining candidates for planets that had been identified by NASAs Kepler mission. The candidates were analyzed using a supercomputer running algorithms at NASAs Ames facility.

After exploring the statistical likelihood of the planets existence, the team followed up with months of observations using a variety of different methods. The planets are distant enough, however, that their habitabiliy is still only a likelihood, not a certainty.

We dont know for sure whether any of the planets in our sample are truly habitable, researcher David Kipping said in a statement. All we can say is that theyre promising candidates.

The two most potentially Earth-like planets of the group of eight are Kepler-438b and Kepler-442b, both of which circle red dwarf stars are are respectively 70% and 97% likely to be in the habitable temperature zones of their respective stars. However, it should be noted that there are serious issues regarding the potential habitability of planets circling red dwarf stars, so confirmation will require significantly more study.

In addition to nearly doubling the potential number of habitable planets, this latest discovery also helps astronomers in a different milestone. NASA announced this week that the Kepler mission has helped astronomers verify the discovery of over 1,000 planets outside of our solar system. The mission has also uncovered over 4,000 planetary candidates.

Each result from the planet-hunting Kepler missions treasure trove of data takes us another step closer to answering the question of whether we are alone in the Universe, NASA associate administrator John Grunsfeld said in a press release. The Kepler team and its science community continue to produce impressive results with the data from this venerable explorer.

The researchers findings will be published in The Astrophysical Journal.

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Astronomers Have Discovered Eight Potentially Habitable Planets

GAO Denies Sierra Nevada's NASA Spacecraft Contract Protest

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Sierra Nevada's Dream Chaser (Credit: Sierra Nevada Corporation)

The Government Accountability Office has denied a legal challenge that was filed by the Sierra Nevada Corporation over a NASA contract award to SpaceX and Boeing for crewed commercial flights.

Sierra Nevada was one of three finalists for the Commercial Crew Transportation Capability (CCtCap) contract, which was ultimately awarded to Boeing and SpaceX. Sierra Nevadas bid was for its Dream Chaser an airplane-like spacecraft thats capable of landing on a runway to deliver astronauts to the ISS.

The company challenged NASAs decision to award a contract to its competitors based on factors including the cost of Boeings proposal and concerns over SpaceXs ability to meet the terms of its proposal to NASA.

In its decision which has not been fully released to the public due because, according to the GAO, it contains proprietary and source selection sensitive information the GAO rejected Sierra Nevadas arguments. In its statement, the GAO stated that it had reviewed the conclusions reached by NASA to determine if they were reasonable, and consistent with the evaluation approach NASA set out in its solicitation but made no conclusions as to the relative merits of each proposal.

In a statement issued earlier today, the Sierra Nevada thanked the GAO for reviewing its proposal, and stated its commitment to continue to develop the Dream Chaser spacecraft.

SNC remains fully committed to being a part of returning world-class human spaceflight and enhanced cargo capabilities to low-Earth orbit, the company said in its statement. In doing so, SNC firmly believes that the Dream Chaser will play a central role in shaping the future of space transportation with its unique capabilities which address a wide spectrum of needs.

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GAO Denies Sierra Nevada's NASA Spacecraft Contract Protest

30 Under 30 Reinventing Manufacturing In A Greener, Tech-Savvier World

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The classic picture of the manufacturing industry is that of conveyor belt upon conveyor belt of identical, mass produced products on the inside and large chimneys belching smoke into the atmosphere on the outside.

But this years list of 30 Under 30 in Manufacturing shows that the present and future of manufacturing is something altogether different. Its a world of custom products, 3D printing, nanoscale chemistry and a green outlook.

Consider Eben Bayer and Gavin McIntyre, the 29 year-old founders of Ecovative. These two friends use an environmentally-friendly process to grow mushrooms that they then turn into packaging materials to replace the styrofoam protecting, say, a Dell laptop. Best of all, their packaging costs the same or even less than traditional materials.

Other examples of green thinking in the manufacturing list include Max Winograd, 27, the cofounder of NuLabel, which designs adhesive labels for products without those annoying paper backs that you just end up throwing away. Then theres Jeremiah Chapman, 24, whose company Crisp creates products that extend the life of oil in deep fryers for restaurants; and Gabe Blanchet and Jamie Byron, whose company Grove Labs will be selling mass produced indoor gardens for people to easily grow their own fruits and vegetables.

Another theme that emerged in this years list was the big impact of 3D printing to make customized products. For example, theres Nikki Kaufman, 28, whose company Normal produces 3D printed earbuds that are custom fitted to your ear. Or Kegan Schouwenburg, 29, whose company Sols creates insoles for shoes that are customized for its customers feet.

Also innovating with 3D printing are Aaron Kemmer, Jason Dunn, Mike Chen, and Michael Snyder of the company Made In Space. They developed a 3D printer thats capable of working in zero-gravity. Their first printer is already making custom tools for astronauts on the International Space Station, and a bigger one is going up later this year.

Another theme in manufacturing this year was robotics. The list includes Antoine Balaresque and Henry Bradlow, whose Lily Robotics has developed a drone that can follow you around and take pictures like a flying GoPro; Jordi Muoz, 28, who cofounded 3D Robotics, the worlds second largest commercial drone manfacturer; Blake Sessions and Arron Acosta, whose company Rise Robotics builds parts for bigger robots and Natalie Panek, 29, who helps design robotic systems that will be used in outer space.

As for future iterations of the list? We might start looking for them among the kids currently playing with Roominate toys. This company, cofounded by Alice Brooks, 26, makes building toys that employ basic engineering principles from pulleys to electric circuits, allowing kids to learn STEM concepts while they play.

The FORBES 30 Under 30 in Manufacturing list was created using nominations from a variety of sources, and was reported by Joann Muller, Dan Alexander, and Alex Knapp. The judges for this category were Ted Duclos, President of Freudenberg-NOK Sealing Technologies; Jenny Lawton, the CEO of Makerbot; and John Nottingham, cofounder of Nottingham Spirk. Thanks to all of them and to everyone who nominated candidates.

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30 Under 30 Reinventing Manufacturing In A Greener, Tech-Savvier World

Back to the Future II Takes Place This Year. How Close Did We Get?

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Every decade produces iconic pieces of futurism that help to define a generation. For the 1960s it was The Jetsons and Star Trek. For the 1970s it was Future Shock and Soylent Green. What about the 1980s? It was almost certainly Back to the Future Part II.

Sure, Back to the Future Part II didn't get great reviews when it first came out. The 1989 film was seen as a lesser achievment than the original Back to the Future. But it became firmly wedged into the brains of a generation that wanted to believe the future was going to be filled with amazing technological advances.

I know I wanted to believe. It's half the reason I write about past visions of the future! When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than that hoverboard Marty zips around on. But BTTF2 was more than just hoverboards.

It's now the year 2015 (the year that Marty McFly travels to in the film) and we're launching a new series with American Public Media's Marketplace Tech, looking at the different futuristic aspects of the movie.

You can hear the first episode in our series below, and feel free to let us know what your favorite BTTF2 technology is in the comments. Was it the automatic dog walker? How about that thumbprint payment system? Some of the technological predictions were spot on, while others are still yet to be realized. We'll be exploring many of them in the next few months.

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Back to the Future II Takes Place This Year. How Close Did We Get?

Lawns Transformed Into Sculpture Galleries

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On the front lawn of the Marvelwood Drive home of Ted Baldwin and Barbara Geller, a young giraffe stretches for food. Nearby, its towering parent surveys the landscape. A stork cackles while a giant black spider meanders through the low-growing, bamboo-like grass.

All are neighbors in the Baldwins free-range residential paradise.

Some homeowners adorn their lawns with inflatable Santas, wicker deer, and other holiday displays. In the spring, others put outwhirligigs or garden gnomes. A few, however, defy the status quo. Their yards are year-round outdoor galleries, showplaces for the art they create, or just love to collect. For some outdoor gallerists, showing their art is a means of communicating and creating interest for neighbors and passersby. For others, showing their art makes sense for practical as well as aesthetic reasons.

Baldwin, a retired state judge, said that a shady canopy of trees around his house made growing a conventional lawn difficult. So he and Geller, a state Department of Mental Health & Addiction Services regional director, planted the special grass. It seemed to call out for some of the exotic inhabitants that now slow traffic and bring smiles on the sharp curve outside their home.

Exposed to the elements, some of the welded and assembled creatures develop a rusty patina. Others retain their original finish. Baldwin said that curating his display was simply a matter of showing the things they like. If we like them, we buy them, he said.

Less than a mile away on another well-traveled, residential road, Dog draws the eye with its machine-like appendages and commanding presence.

The Ramsdell Street sculpture is the work of Marcus Schaeffer, aka Markus Surrealist, who fabricates and restores metal sculpture at Versteeg Art Fabricators in Bethany. He has worked on public sculptures including Tony Rosenthals well known Alamothe cube sculpture at Astor Place in New York City. The company also restored Alexander Calders Gallows and Lollipops, the monumental kinetic sculpture at Yales Beinecke Plaza.

Dog wasinspired by the Yale bulldog mascot and Yales relationship with the city. The general aesthetic he said, was also influenced by early industrial design and heavy machinery like steam shovels and locomotives. Like most of my art, its based on a philosophy/conceptual framework aesthetic I refer to as pre-dystopianism. The abandoned remnants of futures that never were, as it were. Art that riffs on the perennial tendency to romanticize the past and insist that everything is worse today and that it will all fall apart real soon now.Also theres a bit of steampunk retro-futurism in the design.

Schaeffer said the homeowner, Camille Keeler, requested the sculpture be placed on the Ramsdell Street property; also, there was no space to exhibit the piece where he had previously lived. Finally, as Schaeffer said, the whole point of sculpture for me is to allow other people to experience it. Its a way of communicating concepts that are hard to put into words. That everyone tends to interpret art differently and see different meanings in it a bonus.

Walk or drive by the home of Alexander Hunenko at Cleveland and Central Avenues in Westville, and your attention will most likely be drawn to Skowhegan, an elongated, bronze abstract sculpture resting on a tall base. His distinctive biomorphic piece is surrounded by well-tended landscaping that includes beds of clover instead of grass.

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Lawns Transformed Into Sculpture Galleries

2014 Remembrances: Honoring Some Exceptional Lives

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As we begin the new year, Code Switch takes a moment to look back at some of the extraordinary, influential and interesting people whom we lost in 2014.

Sam Greenlee during the 2004 Los Angeles Film Festival. John Heller/WireImage via Getty hide caption

Sam Greenlee during the 2004 Los Angeles Film Festival.

Sam Greenlee

A native Chicagoan, Greenlee drew on his own experiences as one of the first black Foreign Service officers to write The Spook Who Sat by the Door. Published in 1969, the novel centers on a government conspiracy to eradicate black America and the well-trained Army that the country's first black CIA agent or "spook," in agency lingo assembles to foil the plan.

The idea was intriguing enough that the novel was made into a 1973 movie that has gained a cult following. (The fact that the movie opened and then disappearedall the copies of the film had been hijackedinspired a documentary, Infiltrating Hollywood: The Rise and Fall of the Spook Who Sat By The Door.

Greenlee lived quietly for several decades, but he was a constant presence in Chicago's black communities, writing and supporting his hometown's cultural life. A few years before he died, he told a Chicago radio journalist he couldn't have written the novel today. "The idea that street gangs that are now dope-dealing thugs would start a revolution is a historical absurdity," he snorted. "Now, when I wrote [The Spook Who Sat by the Door], the gangs had political consciousness." Greenlee kept his till the end. He died in Chicago on May 19.

Fred Ho

Ho was an avant garde jazz musician who didn't like to describe his work that way. He believed the term "jazz" was initially used to denigrate black musicians. Ho liked to refer to his genre as "Afro-Asian Futurism."

You couldn't miss him in a crowd: Ho always dressed colorfully, in brightly-patterned clothes he often designed himself. The colors were often riotous, but the form Mandarin-collared jackets that closed with silk frogs were a direct reference to his Chinese heritage.

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2014 Remembrances: Honoring Some Exceptional Lives

How Shostakovichs The Bolt changed ballet history

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Vividly energetic designs influenced by constructivism costume/design workshop for The Bolt, 1931.

. Photograph: Grad and St Petersburg State Museum of Theatre and Music

In Soviet Russia in 1930, the cultural energies of the revolution the jazz, the constructivist art, the Meyerhold experiments in theatre were still alive and bubbling. But Stalin was already turning revolution into a brutal state orthodoxy. With the launch of his 1928 five-year plan, and its attendant political persecutions, artists found themselves in serious danger if they were considered to have fallen foul of the official cultural line.

One early victim of these hardening times was The Bolt, a 1931 ballet with designs by Tatiana Bruni, music by Dmitri Shostakovich and choreography by Fedor Lopukhov. Its currently the subject of an exhibition at Londons Gallery of Russian Art and Design, which showcases a fabulously intact collection of Brunis costume designs and even a few of the actual costumes.

The designs have a vivid energy. Theres the clear influence of constructivism and Soviet poster art in their bright blocks of colour, their vibrant patterns and geometric lines, but also a dash of futurism and even a possible reference to Parade (the 1917 cubist ballet designed by Picasso) in the comically stereotyping costumes worn by dancers representing the American and Japanese navies.

That mix, however, was already too avant-garde for a state rapidly embracing the ersatz traditionalism of socialist realism, and the ballet as a whole was too playful. Despite its seemingly impeccable narrative of industrial espionage being routed by heroic factory workers, its creators were too tempted to have fun with their cast of baddies (the Lazy Idler, the Petty Bourgeois Woman, and the decadent, western types satirised by the local amateur theatre troupe). They were too obviously bored by the decent workers, the earnest members of the local Komsomol group the young communist league.

The Bolt was judged to have shown a dangerous levity in the handling of serious issues; Shostakovichs flippant score veered too close to western dance music, and the innovative wit of Lopukhovs choreography was condemned as grotesque. One critic complained about the dancification of industrial processes, while the chorus of Red Army cavalry, sitting astride a line of chairs, was considered an outrageous mockery.

The ballet was banned after just one performance, and Lopukhov was sacked from his position as artistic director of the Mariinsky or the Leningrad State Academic Ballet as it was then called. Yet, as precarious as this ballet had proved, in 1935 Lopukhov and Shostakovich attempted one more collaboration a comedy set on a collective farm. The Bright Stream was acclaimed at its early performances at the Maly theatre in Leningrad, but when it transferred to Moscow it came under the close scrutiny of Stalins cultural police. After Pravda denounced the work as ballet falsehood, the librettist Adrian Piotrovsky was sent to the gulag, and a fearful Shostakovich cancelled the premiere of his newly composed Symphony No 4.

Lopukhov, whod been in line for directorship of the Bolshoi, had to remove himself fast, and spent the next eight years as an itinerant ballet master, travelling as far away as Tashkent. Even though he was briefly back in charge of the Mariinsky (by now the Kirov Ballet) during the war years, and was kept on in the company as a teacher, his choreographic career was essentially over.

One of the great questioning talents of the Soviet ballet was thus more or less relegated to a footnote in history, and much of his choreography was lost including these two offending ballets, although theyve been recently and very successfully re-created by Alexei Ratmansky for the Bolshoi ballet.

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How Shostakovichs The Bolt changed ballet history

Futurism Technologies Appraised at CMMI Level 3

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Pune, India (PRWEB) December 29, 2014

Futurism Technologies today announced that it has been appraised at Level 3 of the CMMI Institutes Capability Maturity Model Integration (CMMI). The appraisal was performed by KPMG, one of the leading audit firms in the world. This immense triumph is a tremendous step forward for Futurism Technologies.

An appraisal at maturity level 3 indicates the organization is performing at a defined level. At this level, processes are well characterized and understood, and are described in standards, procedures, tools, and methods. The organizations set of standard processes, which is the basis for maturity level 3, is established and improved over time.

The audit process involved analyzing over 44 projects currently being worked on by the organization, both in the development and maintenance stages of their respective lifecycle. The goal to acquire CMMI Maturity Level 3 status was achieved due to the diligence and hard work of many members of the Futurism team over the course of several months. http://www.futurismtechnologies.com/awards-and-certifications.php

Speaking on this brilliant achievement, Sheetal Pansare, President and Global CEO, commented, CMMI will help Futurism Technologies discover the true value we can deliver to our clients, by enhancing the capabilities of our team members and processes. This advancement will help us further our capabilities and realize more goals as we step into the New Year.

About Futurism Technologies Futurism Technologies http://www.futurismtechnologies.com/ has emerged as one of the most sought after, leading, next generation information technology solutions & services company committed to establish a cost-effective quality end to end information technology business solutions and services alternative for the entire spectrum of businesses worldwide. The company operates out of offices across America, Europe, Asia and Australia.

About CMMI CMMI is the result of more than 20 years of ongoing work at Carnegie Mellon University by members of industry, government, and the Software Engineering Institute. Powered by Carnegie Mellon, the CMMI Institute is working to build upon CMMIs success, advance the state of the practice, accelerate the development and adoption of best practices, and provide solutions to the emerging needs of businesses around the world.

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Futurism Technologies Appraised at CMMI Level 3

The Top 10 NY Times Brunch Hate Reads Of 2014

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In 2013, the Times reached a zenith in onanistic trend pieces with a feature filled with futurism consultants who thought "Brooklyn is turning out to be the last three days of Burning Man." We worried that the paper of record would not reach those heights again this yearbut thankfully our fears were as unfounded as the reports that hipster baby boomers were encroaching upon "hip-hopping" territories. Whether they were lamenting the Sad Plight Of White Brooklyn or combing through the latest pubic hair trend, the NY Times was on it in 2014. Below, take some antacid and check out the best of the worst Brunch Hate Reads.

10. NY Times Picks Up Women With Real Life "Hitch": The Times profiled a Pick Up Artist (PUA) who resents the phrase PUA, and would rather be known as "a social development coach," dating coach, romantics professor, courage therapist, or interactions teacher. It was almost sweet, if you ignored much of the creepy subtext. But extra points for being a "life coach for young children."

9. The NY Times Is ON IT (Pubic Hair): Brunch Hate Reads transcend any one time and placethey can occur without warning in the middle of the week, but still carry with them the foul stench of Sunday morning coffee mingling with manufactured outrage. Anyone who opened the Thursday Style section the last week of January was greeted with just such a feeling upon reading the Times' dedicated pubic hair coverage. It was like listening to your grandfather talk about merkins.

8. Brunch Hate Reads: Having More Than One Job Is Hot New Millennial Trend: No, they're not talking about the millions of Americans struggling in this garbage economy and forced to take multiple part-time jobs just to get bythis is about precious young trendsetters reinventing a wheel that has been rolling downhill for decades.

7. Brooklyn Is Dead (Serious About Expensive Real Estate): The Times dug in to explore one of its favorite topics: the plight of well-off Brooklyn residents who are being priced out of Brooklyn by equally well-off Brooklyn residents.

6. NY Times Weekend Reaches Peak NY Times Weekendness: Long will we remember the weekend of August 16th/17th, when the stars aligned and the Weekend section gave birth to three beautifully masochistic trend pieces: a feature on mason jars (not a joke), an article about the indignity of adults living with roommates (the horror), and "Generation Nice," which included 33 uses of the word Millennial.

5. Brunch Hate Reads: Irritating People Discover Queens: The Times turned its terrible gaze toward Queens in a series of articles in the fall that confirmed that the "Toyota Corolla" of neighborhoods is finally getting respect from singularly irritating new gentrifiers. RIP Ridgewood, we hardly brunched in ye.

4. Sad Young People Lament The Plight Of Living On The Upper East Side: Some sad, financially-stable 20-somethings complained about the hardships they've endured by sacrificing their social lives to reside on the Upper East Side. Because, dear god, no one will visit them.

3. Young Rich People Are Aliens Infiltrating NYC With Cold Hard Cash: Reading between the lines, we finally understood how all these rich young people were able to afford prime Manhattan real estate while everyone else gets poorer: they're extraterrestrials in sweatpants.

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The Top 10 NY Times Brunch Hate Reads Of 2014


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