Few topics are of greater interest to my patients than sexuality. And why not? A rich and rewarding sex life is something men and women enjoy and appreciate. But today’s advertising paints a pretty weird picture!
Most of you have seen the barrage of ads on TV and in newspapers and magazines for drugs claiming to cure “E.D” – erectile dysfunction. When I see these relentless ads for drugs like Viagra and Cialis, I always laugh at the fast talking disclaimer at the end, where the announcer (reading a script surely written by the Legal Department) says something like, “Be sure to check with your doctor to make sure you are healthy enough for sexual activity.” The purpose of this disclaimer is to protect the company: if you do get over excited and topple over dead while making love, this careful wording ensures that it’s your family doctor who gets sued rather than the multi-billion dollar drug company.
But it also raises a larger and more important issue. I believe that not dropping dead during sex is a triumph of low expectations!
Are you “healthy enough” for the activities you engage in every day? I hope so. Not dropping dead while carrying your groceries up the stairs, or while walking out to get the mail, seems to me to be a pretty modest goal. The same is certainly true in your most intimate relationships (although admittedly your partner will be less distressed if you fall over on the stairs or at the mailbox than if you are with her or him at the time of your demise!). Back in the 1980’s the rock group The Beegees sang a song called “Stayin’ Alive.” Maybe this is what they were singing about.
I may sound facetious, but come on: doesn’t having a great sex life require a whole lot more than simply not dying? Shouldn’t we be learning how to stay healthy and active so that we approach every activity of life, including sex, with energy and vitality? Instead, if you are like all too many Americans, you come home every evening both physically and emotionally spent. You drag yourself into the kitchen or dining room and sit with a sigh of relief. After dinner you make your way into the living room where you sit through the evening watching TV. Then you drag yourself to the bedroom where you collapse into bed, again with a sigh of relief. Sex is far from the minds of most people over 50 because they simply do not have the energy to initiate or respond sexually. Sexuality is an emotional state requiring high amounts of energy, and that emotional energy is dependent on having enough physical energy to generate the right emotionally-charged sexual mood.
At Longevity Medical Clinic, I want my patients to come home at night with a spring in their step, a song in their heart, and a slightly mischievous twinkle in their eyes. A man should have the physical and emotional energy to come dancing up the stairs, throw open the door, rush into the room and sweep his woman off her feet and into his arms. He should run (not stagger) while he carries her to the bedroom, laying her under the covers and leaping in after her. She should be able to respond in kind. A couple with this sort of emotional and physical energy is able to enjoy their sexual relationship to the fullest, at any age.
But this approach is light years away from the presumptions behind the Viagra advertising. They would have to believe that the key to sexual response is – a pill. You and I know better. Sexuality is about more than prescription drugs, and great sex means far more than simply not dying in the act. Rich, vibrant sexuality requires the sort of strength, energy, and enthusiasm we endeavor to foster in our patients at Longevity Medical Clinic.
I like our approach far better than theirs.
