If you go out to party with your friends and leave your significant other at home, chances are that he or she wouldn't be very happy. Fortunately, here's the perfect solution.

The video is in Spanish, so read below to understand what's happening before playing it

The promotional team of Andes—a very popular beer in Argentina—came up with it. They noticed that, once guys get a girlfriend, they don't go out with their friends as much as before. The girlfriends just don't like their men going out with their brute friends to get drunk. As a result, beer consumption drops.

To solve this, they created the Teletransporter. Granted, it's not a real teletransporter, but it's good enough: A soundproof booth with an integrated sound system controlled by a touchscreen. The sound system offers different ambient sounds, which get played at the touch of a button. The beer company installed several of these in bars and clubs all over the Argentinian city of Mendoza.

Now imagine that you—girl or boy—are in the bar and get a call from your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. You can a) answer the call and get crucified later, b) don't answer the call and get crucified later, or c) go into the Teletransporter booth, choose a lie, press the option, and then pick up the phone as the ambient sound changes. Something like this:

I wouldn't be surprised if these Transporters get installed in bars all over the world, in the style of old phone booths. [Pagina2 - Thank you, Rubén]

In former VP Dick Brass's stabbing assault on Microsoft, he pointed to how his tablet projects were strangled to death by competing groups inside the company. So it's interesting to see the record of infighting go back further.

First, Microsoft didn't give Brass as many engineers as he wanted—just six, instead of the 20 he wanted. (He did manage to snag two guys worked at Xerox's nigh-mythical PARC, the birthplace of the GUI that inspired the Macintosh.) Consequently, the team ran into issues like handwriting recognition that only worked half the time, and a confusing interface, according to user tests.

BusinessWeek also reported back then that Office group wanted to focus on their own applications, even though the tablet group knew having software ready to go was key. Bill Gates went for the weak compromise, an add-on pack with tablet-specific features. This seems to support Brass's allegations in the NYT op/ed that the VP of Office at the time "refused to modify the popular Office applications to work properly with the tablet." Ironically, the person who shut down Brass appears to be Steven Sinofsky, current president of Windows—the guy who turned the division around and gave us Windows 7.

But the problem now isn't that Microsoft doomed their tablet PCs to failure 7 years ago, it's that they still haven't solved their tablet problems today. [BusinessWeek]

The math itself doesn't make much sense, but I like the concept of this formula to calculate the real size of your gadget. One thing is clear: the Apple fanboy constant automatically sets the weigh to near-zero. [Not Quite Wrong]

According to a leak spotted by Ars, if you buy Microsoft Office 2007 anytime between March 5 and September 30 of this year, and you activate the product and save your dated receipt, you can get Office 2010 for free. Ars has more details, but slow down, there's a catch: The info was yanked after it was published, and Microsoft now won't say whether it's legit or not. I'm guessing it is. Whether you believe it or not, play it safe and don't buy any version of Office until March 5. [Ars Technica via TechFlash]

I'd buy an iPad just to read comic books. Think I'm nuts? I probably am, but see how you feel after this first look at what Panelfly, maker of a popular comic book iPhone app, is building for the iPad.

Instead of simply scaling up the existing iPhone app, the folks from Panelfly put their heads together with the Sugarcube dev team and brainstormed. With all the talk of the iPad and how it could restore comic books to their former glory, they realized that they needed to revamp the app and make a version specifically for the iPad. This way they could take full advantage of the device's screen size and provide a new way of purchasing and interacting with the content.

The way the Panelfly iPhone app works is that you download the app for free from the app store and then add comics to your library through in-app purchases. Stephen Lynch, CTO and designer at Panelfly, hinted that the company is currently exploring several different purchase models for the iPad version, but was unfortunately unable to elaborate even when I tried to coax out whether there'd be a subscription option.

As far as reading and navigating content on the new iPad app goes, let's just say it'll blow us all away. From what Stephen was able to share with me, Panelfly "didn't want to stray too far from the native Apple UI elements, [they] wanted to create something that was [theirs] as well as a platform that gave the content the respect it deserves." And from the looks and sound of it? They've succeeded.

Be sure to click on the images in the gallery for the full-sized view. It's worth it.

Call me a geeky comic book lover, but apps like this one are what I'm looking forward to when it comes to the iPad. The gadget won't replace my computer, it won't replace my TV, and it won't replace any other device I've got around the house. But it will be what I sit down with when I want to catch up on some comics, magazines, journal articles, and what will be formerly known as "print" media.

A tiny but significant factoid in Sony's earnings report from the WSJ: "Sony loses about six cents for every dollar of PS3 hardware sales."

Educated guesser of component prices iSuppli had deduced that Sony was finally eking out a little bit of profit on every PS3 Slim they sold, thanks to lower costs, but apparently, not the case! They're hoping to cut production costs by 15 percent by March 2011. Hey, at least PS3 sales were up 44 percent. On the other hand, no one's buying the PSP Go. Sony cut their sales estimates by third for the year.

Sony did actually make money this quarter—the first time in a year—but it was by essentially ravaging the company to cut over $3 billion in costs: A fifth of its plants are gone, along with 20,000 jobs. [WSJ]

Oh Pluto, Pluto... You may not be a planet anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't love you. Even while you look like a big moldy ball of mud in this image capture by Hubble, the most detailed to date.

And here I was, thinking Pluto was this big blue ice sphere only good to make Caipirinhas and Mojitos. According to NASA, however, its color has changed. The hue shift happens over a two year period, in which the the ice of one pole get sun light, melts, and then refreezes on the other pole. Quite the manic depressive non-planet, this Pluto. According to NASA," the overall color is believed to be a result of ultraviolet radiation from the distant sun breaking up methane that is present on Pluto's surface, leaving behind a dark and red carbon-rich residue."

NASA's images of the faraway ex-planet will help to calibrate the New Horizons spacecraft, which will pass Pluto in 2015. They will use Hubble's images to set the exposure on board New Horizons, as it races past it. So fast, in fact, that it will only be able to photograph one of the hemispheres up close. [NASA]

How did one of the world's largest search engine companies wind up deciding to collaborate with the one federal agency most renowned for spooky spying?

Let's review. Someone hacked Google. Google hacked right back. Then Google decided to piss some people off by refusing to continue censoring search results in China—the country of origin for the original cyberattacks.

Now the big G is working with some G-men in hopes of gaining "more certainty about the identity of the attackers." According to the NYT, there's also a rather good reason that Google choose the NSA out of all the government agencies around:

By turning to the N.S.A., which has no formal legal authority to investigate domestic criminal acts, instead of the Department of Homeland Security, which does have such authority, Google is clearly seeking to avoid having its search engine, e-mail and other Web services regulated as part of the nation's "critical infrastructure."

That along with remarks that the agreement between Google and the NSA "will not permit the agency to have access to information belonging to Google users" is hardly enough to comfort any paranoid minds, but what are we supposed to do? The deal's made. [NY Times]

Raising questions about the definition of a vegetative state as well as what to do with people in them, a new study observed the brain of an unconscious patient responding to yes and no questions just like normal.

Of the 54 test subjects in the New England Journal of Medicine study, one man who had been diagnosed as being in a vegetative state some five years earlier accurately answered yes or no questions. The answers came by way of a brain scan conducted by an MRI machine.

As shown in the image above, answering "yes" and "no" registers activity in different parts of the brain. When the patient was asked if his father's name was Thomas, the scan showed his brain indicating "no." When asked if his father's name was Alexander, the scan showed the correct answer of "yes."

The study brings up some sticky issues involving the ethics of treating vegetative and seemingly vegetative patients. But it also provides scientists with rare insight into the elusive nature of human consciousness itself. [Pop Sci]

Hey, T-Mobile customer, do you have any idea that your wireless carrier is actually owned and operated by German telecom giant Deutsche Telekom? No? Well, ignore everything I just said, because it probably won't be true soon.

If you're interested in why DT would spin off their entire US arm, it's just a matter of numbers:

T-Mobile USA has languished under perceptions that its wireless network is inferior and lacks reach, a major shortcoming as customers turn to their cell phones to surf the Internet and stream video. In the third quarter, 77,000 users walked away from T-Mobile USA, while AT&T and Verizon Wireless added millions of customers.

DT is a conservative company, T-Mobile USA, while massive, represents a fraction of their business, or a medium-sized liability, depending on how you look at it.

The excision could come as either a partial spinoff, a merger with another American carrier (and not an AT&T or a Verizon—we're talking the likes of MetroPCS), or an IPO. Whatever happens, we'll probably hear about it within "the next two months." [WSJ]

In today's Remainders: ideas! Ideas of all sorts, ranging from the very good—a ketchup package that allows for dipping—to the very bad—cutting a power cord with scissors—and including no less than two ideas somewhere in between!

Catch Up
Dave Ciesinski, vice president of Heinz, gets it: "The packet has long been the bane of our consumers." But I'm here to tell you some very good news: our 30 year national condiment nightmare might be drawing to a close. Seen here is Heinz's new Dip & Squeeze package, an ingenious system that combines the squeezability of the current ketchup packets with the on-the-go dippability you find in the little plastic tubs that hold Sweet and Sour and Barbecue sauce. I know! I'm very excited about all of this too. Sadly we have to wait a bit longer for full-on dipping and driving nirvana, as Heinz is only rolling out to select fast food locations this fall. But clearly once this thing does hit, every fast food restaurant under the sun is gonna want to get in on the Dip & Squeeze action. GOOD IDEA. [Washington Post]

Cut It Out
If the Dip & Squeeze ketchup packet is a very good idea, here is a very bad idea: cutting an electrical cord with scissors. I guess what's going on here is this: some crazy guy is working late at the office, toiling away at a dead-end job where he isn't appreciated by his boss or colleagues. He's spent the last few hours swallowing his sadness but getting a good amount of work done in the after-hours quiet. That is, until the cleaning lady shows up. She's just doing her job, vacuuming away, but soon our frustrated worker just....can't....TAKEITANYMORE and loses his shit, deciding to silence her in the fastest way he can think of: snip snip snipping the vacuum cleaner's cord. Or something like that, but in any event he's served a nice sizzling plate of instant karma. BAD IDEA. [Live Leak]

Big Blue Ball and Chain
An analyst says there's 75% chance that Apple will will stay with AT&T as the iPhone's carrier. Analyzing the cellular markets is tough work, so thankfully Business Insider breaks down this particular bit of analysis for us laypeople:

[the analyst] says he "couldn't find compelling evidence" that AT&T's contract with Apple ends this year. He gives it a 50% chance. Additionally, there's a 25% chance that AT&T would bid for — and win — another year of exclusivity. Add them up, you get 75%.

Hopefully that helps you get a better hold on this slippery situation. In any event we're 100% unimpressed with this uninspired prediction-making. BORING IDEA. [Business Insider]

Protohype
Today the Seattle Times ran an article accompanied by this photo showing a messy Project Natal sensor bar lumped on top of a Gorillapod camera mount. This doesn't tell us much of anything about Natal hardware, or Gorillapods for that matter. Pretty much the only thing it tells us is that people are starved for Natal news and will take whatever scraps they can get. INCOMPLETE IDEA. [Engadget]

After former VP Dick Brass publicly excoriated Microsoft's management and philosophy in an NYT Op-Ed this morning, the company had three good options: fully discredit his claims, let it pass, or admit shortcomings. Or, I guess, none of the above.

Microsoft's response came in the form of a blog post from the company's VP of Communications. It moves through Dick's piece point by point, sort of, so we'll move through his post point by point, sort of.

Dick Brass accused Microsoft of stifling innovation, and stretching even small projects—like the implementation of ClearType, a font antialiasing feature for Windows—into years-long fiascos. Their response?

For the record, ClearType now ships with every copy of Windows we make, and is installed on around a billion PCs around the world. This is a great example of innovation with impact: innovation at scale.

Now, you could argue that this should have happened faster. And sometimes it does. But for a company whose products touch vast numbers of people, what matters is innovation at scale, not just innovation at speed.

The thing is, all Brass was doing was arguing that this should have happened faster. To say that scale is all that matters is to imply that lots of people potentially using ClearType was what slowed its implementation, which doesn't really make sense. Scale is obviously—and rightly—important to Microsoft, but I think Brass's point is that scale and speed don't have to be perfectly inverse.

Brass also claimed that elements in the Office team were so resistant to the idea of tablets that they refused to make a touch-specific interface for the suite. Microsoft's response?

I'll simply point to this product called OneNote that was essentially created for the Tablet and is a key part of Office today.

OneNote is a notetaking application. You can draw in it, and it excels at recording stylus input in various ways. It's a good app! What it doesn't do, though, is make using any of the other Office apps any easier to use with a tablet. The first generation of Windows tablet PCs needed a touch Office suite, not a single new app.

One point where Shaw nails it, though, is on gaming. For Brass to say that the Xbox 360 is "at best an equal contender in the game console business" doesn't ring true:

Fact is, Xbox 360 was the first high-definition console. It was the first to digitally deliver games, music, TV shows and movies in 1080p high definition. The first to bring Facebook and Twitter to the living room. And with Project Natal for Xbox 360 launching this year, it will be the first to deliver controller-free experiences that anyone can enjoy-a magical experience for everyone that Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, and Time magazine each named one of the top inventions of 2009.

The 360 is as close to a vindication of Microsoft's broader philosophy as there is: it was borne of the original Xbox project, which was a response to Microsoft finally identifying gaming consoles as a thing they wanted to do, with a scale that was worth it to them. In the long term, it paid off. That said, the success of the Xbox 360 depended hugely on Microsoft's incredible patience, which doesn't do much to shake the perception that the company moves too slowly, which is Brass' main concern anyway.

And that's the core problem here: While you can quibble about anecdotes and details, stories like this morning's are just illustrations of a problem that's painfully obvious to anyone who's been watching. For a company with so much money and talent to be so late on so many things—a worthy followup to Windows XP, a competitive mobile OS, a portable media player that isn't a punchline—makes it plenty clear what Microsoft's problem is. Brass just gave it some texture. [Microsoft]