"Sylvia lurched toward the railing. She threw up. And then she eased her way back to her familiar perch in the aft compartment, her head dangling over the rail, her eyes closed, muttering darkly. I felt the moment needed recording, and I took out our camera. 'Say cheese.'" -- The Sex Lives of Cannibals, J. Maarten Troost "'Livorno was a swamp,' he shouted over the road noise kicked up by the Mhari. 'But when Pisa's harbor silted up they decided to build the new harbor here. It was populated by criminals, hookers and scum. That's why we Livornese are so lively!'" -- A Vroom With a View, Peter Moore "I used to like Pella when I was little because many of the residents put little windmills in their front yards, which made it kind of interesting. I wouldn't say it made it outstandingly interesting, but you learned from an early age to take what pleasures you could find on any trip across Iowa." -- The Lost Continent, Bill Bryson "Dirk Flinthart's 'Coasting' (is) a sort of surf and drugs tour of eastern Australia," says author John Birmingham. "I seem to recall the entry for Ipswich, my old hometown, was something like, 'Don't. Just don't. They all play banjo with their toes out there." "I join them for some Midwestern Power Drinking. There are a lot of drunks in this world, but people in the Midwest drink differently than everywhere else I've ever been; it's far less recreational. You have to stay focused, you have to work fast and you have to swallow constantly." -- Killing Yourself to Live, Chuck Klosterman "One of Lawrence's enduring pleasures was to rant on about the awfulness of wherever he happened to be. Perhaps this is why Italy held such a special place in his affections: it provided constant fuel for his temper." -- Out of Sheer Rage, Geoff Dyer "(The British) are embarrassed that they lost their empire; even more embarrassed that they had it in the first place; but would secretly like to have it back, if only for the weekend, or for a few hours on Boxing Day." -- Queenan Country, Joe Queenan "It's not a holiday. It's traveling. They're completely different." -- Are You Experienced? William Sutcliffe 'I'm going to be sick.' 'Of course you are. We are all sick when we drink too much. But my dear friend, I beg you not to take it so seriously.'" -- Into the Heart of Borneo, Redmond O'Hanlon "Aided by Hirschfeld's expert knowledge of gems and my own shrewd bargaining sense, I was enabled to pick up -- at a fraction more than twice what I would have paid for them in America -- three emeralds. I had them appraised later in Bombay and was told they had been cut down from a very rare Coca-Cola bottle." -- Westward Ha!, S.J. Perelman "I had managed to avoid those so-called cultural evenings during which one was held captive in a hot room to applaud the degenerate spectacle of dancers and singers in feathers and beads performing numbers whose badness asked to be excused on the grounds it was traditional." -- The Great Railway Bazaar, Paul Theroux "If you wish to inflict a heartless and malignant punishment upon a young person, pledge him to keep a journal for a year." -- The Innocents Abroad, Mark Twain "The many things on the Nadir that were wood-grain but not real wood were such marvelous and painstaking imitations of wood that a lot of times it seemed like it would have been simpler and less expensive simply to have used real wood." -- A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace "Instead of cathedrals, mosques and ancient temples, we have duty-free shops ... I never knew there was so much stuff I didn't want." -- Holidays in Hell, P.J. O'Rourke "All the books tell you that if the grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it to you." -- A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson

15. "The Sex Lives of Cannibals"

14. "Vroom With a View"

13. "The Lost Continent"

12. "Coasting"

11. "Killing Yourself to Live"

10. "Out of Sheer Rage"

9. "Queenan Country"

8. "Are You Experienced?"

7. "Into the Heart of Borneo"

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15 funniest travel books ever written