HERE ARE some thoughts from a guy who wonders how much a person has to be paid to dress like the Statue of Liberty, stand by the road and spin a sign advertising a tax firm?

Its nothing against people who do it to make a living, but Im sure pretty much every person driving by has pondered the same question.

Still, I guess it would be better than dressing like a Block of wood for some other firms namesake.

I also am wondering what I should buy my wife for Valentines Day. What do you get a woman who has everything?

By everything I mean me of course. Umm, just kidding, hon.

Im not sure, but Im guessing this is a universal problem for men. We are simply not good at coming up with new and innovative ways to gift our wives or girlfriends or both, for some idiots with death wishes.

Flowers are nice, but they dont last long. Candy is dandy, sure. But that doesnt last long either if we guys see a box sitting around that obviously begs to be eaten before it gets stale.

Buying clothes for women is out of the question. Maybe lingerie is OK in the first five or 10 years of marriage, but after that?

And how many of those Best Wife or Best Grandma mugs can a woman put in the cupboard?

Some guys buy plane tickets for their wives to go on a vacation. But then women start to question: I wonder why he wants to get me out of town?

Dinner and a movie? Always a good option. Doesnt last long, but today not many marriages do either.

You can always surprise your wife with a burial plot in her name. Thats different. But if you do, you had better be ready to fill one yourself.

Hey, Im just thinking outside the box, so to speak.

There is always a gym membership. Wait, cancel that one. That would be like responding to your wifes question, Do these pants make me look fat? withNo, but your butt does.

I realize many guys arent great at buying gifts.

But then again, there is a true method to our madness.If we get too good at it, well be the ones out fighting the crowds to buy Christmas gifts for our family and friends.

Its the same as being shrewd when it comes to wrapping gifts. If you do a horrible job the first time, your wife never asks you to do it again.

Life is good.

After all this thinking, I finally came up with what Im going to get my wife for Valentines Day.

Its a gift that keeps on giving: aStatue of Liberty suit and a sign.

LYNN SATERNOW of The Herald writes this column every Saturday for the Opinion Page. He can be reached at lsaternow@sharonherald.com.

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Taking Lady Liberty to heart - Sharonherald