July 11 2017

"Proverbs is probably the most Republican book of the entire Bible."

I had to laugh when I read the above quote, in an article in Politico by Yale Hebrew Bible professor Joel S. Baden.

Baden was pointing to Florida GOP Sen. Marco Rubio's propensity for tweeting quotations from the biblical book of aphorisms traditionally attributed to King Solomon. Apparently Rubio tweeted on June 26: "As dogs return to their vomit, so fools repeat their folly. Proverbs 26:11. I don't know exactly what Rubio was referring to: Maybe that Trump vs. CNN wrestling video that CNN just can't stop making itself the butt of jokes over.

Plus, Baden writes:

Just this past July 5, Rubio tweeted, They will die from lack of discipline, lost because of their great folly. Proverbs 5:23. Of course, its not all diligence and righteousnessin Proverbs, faith in God, too, will keep you away from things like poverty and failure. On June 16, Rubio tweeted, Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

What was Rubio talking about this time? Repealing Obamacare?

At any rate, Baden opines:

Some of the statements in Proverbs look strikingly similar to those made by modern-day conservative policymakers. Take, for example, Representative Mo Brooks (R-Ala.), who, arguing that poorer people should pay more for health care, recently said, Those people who lead good lives, theyre healthy. Its not quite a direct quote from Proverbs, but its not too far from these: The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry (Proverbs10:3) and A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich (Proverbs 10:4).

According to Baden, the Book of Proverbs presents a "harsh, almost social Darwinist worldview"--which obviously fits every Republican you've ever met to a T.

This made me wonder: If Proverbs is the most Republican book in the Bible, what's the most Democratic book? I came up with several candidates:

1. The Book of Genesis. Remember this passage (Genesis 27:41), when Esau erupts in rage because his father, Isaac, has given his planned inheritance to his younger brother, Jacob? And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob."

Sounds f like the way liberal media pundits' heads exploded on the night of Nov. 8 when Donad Trump defeated their anointed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. (Of course we know they don't want to literally slay Trump, but they sure are loving on that Julius Caesar prduction in Central Park.)

2. The Book of Ruth. Here's a passage (Ruth 2:1-3) that should warm Dem hearts: 'And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband's, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz. And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter. And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers."

Going after the rich to grab what you can via tax hikes.

3. The First Book of Samuel: "Then David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth" (1 Samuel 17:49.

Again, what the Dems would like to do to Trump (metaphorically, of course).

4. The Acts of the Apostles. "And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need (Acts 2:44-45).

Socialism! Need I say more?

5. The Book of Revelation. "So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns (Revelation 17:3)

I think the Bible is talking about Sarah Palin here.

So see? If the Book of Proverbs is the most Republican book in the Bible, all you have to do is vote for one of the above, Democrats, and you'll have your own book!

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Pundit Calls Proverbs the "Most Republican Book in the Bible" Because It Preaches "Social Darwinism" - Independent Women's Forum...