Golf clubs and sports cars: Whos ruining your neighbourhood? Its the Liberals – The Age

There is no point putting a very low income, probably welfare-dependent, family in the best street in Brighton where the children cannot mix with others or go to school with other children or where they do not have the same ability to have the latest sneakers and iPhones, said Victorian Liberal MP Wendy Lovell last week during a parliamentary debate on homelessness and public housing.

Opposition Leader Matthew Guy conceded the comments were clumsy but made with the best intention.

Lovell was right about one thing, we need to talk frankly about whats happening in the best streets of our neighbourhoods.

This is a delicate and painful conversation, but its time to break the taboo around the subject. Because theres no point in people living where they dont actually fit in. Alas, this is precisely whats going on: in so many neighbourhoods we find people who stand out like a sore thumb.

These people might describe themselves as tree-changers, sea-changers, empty-nesters, aspirationals, or, most commonly, established residents. They each have a story about how they wound up where they are, wearing white sneakers, flashing the latest iPhones, which they have no idea how to use. But theres no sanitising reality: theyre Liberals.

They are not to be confused with Greens, with which they share certain characteristics, both breeds being members of the same Affluent family. But look closely, and youll discern some unique features. They are often observed swinging golf clubs, and berthing yachts unfortunately these are boats we cannot stop. Theyre tennis-elbowing to the front of the queue of grocery stores stocking multi-coloured watermelon and artisanal fig crusted heritage sourdough for $30 a loaf. Their Ferraris, Bentleys and Mercs clog local roads like plaque clogs arteries.

Victorian Liberal MP and party housing spokeswoman Wendy Lovell.

Over and over we see the same sad trajectory. The neighbourhood is a fragile ecosystem; it doesnt take many Liberals to tip the balance. Too many Liberals and the shopping strip is reduced to a dreary succession of antique sellers and exclusive knitwear.

In the winters, the older generation migrates north; in the summers, they swan off to Aspen. During these seasons the Liberals offspring and descendants are left to house sit. At such times the tragic and deepening cycle of intergenerational dysfunction and substance abuse is thrown into sharp relief.

We might forgive the older generation of Liberal for occasionally crashing their Jaguar into a family home after consuming just a few wines at a friends dinner, and is later found to have a blood-alcohol reading of more than twice the legal limit.* We can muster compassion for the Liberal accused of inadvertently chair sniffing while at a fundraiser for the Peter Reith Foundation for Industrial Democracy.

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Golf clubs and sports cars: Whos ruining your neighbourhood? Its the Liberals - The Age