PALMETTO Fred Hodges can still remember the names and faces of neighbors who are long gone.
There was Irving, who adopted his lifelong partner, Ron, so they could have some sort of legal recognition while same-sex marriage was still banned in Florida.
There was Emery, a doctor who advocated for the health of coal miners and AIDS patients and eventually was murdered in what was rumored to be a hate crime.
And there was Jan, who died of lung cancer last year without any known relative. Hodges paid a private investigator in Indiana to find the beneficiary named in his 20-year-old will.
Its bad when you live by yourself, and you dont have anybody, said Hodges, whose partner of nearly a half-century died in 2019. Which is why, here in the Palms, were a family.
The Palms of Manasota, nestled inside a sun-kissed side street in Palmetto, was touted 20-some years ago as Americas first retirement community for LGBTQ people.
Were still here, said Hodges, who is 71. But the number of LGBTQ residents is dwindling.
Thats straight, he said, gesturing toward a nearby home. Then he pointed to the next one: Thats straight.
He stopped by a For Sale sign in Carols yard, which could lead to another straight person moving in.
Walking into the Palms of Manasota is like entering a postcard for Florida living.
Spanish moss adorns every oak tree, and manicured palms line the streets. A pool with a fountain, complete with a single turtle, tops it off.
Theres no hint of the parties that once brought the neighbors out into the street. Theres not a rainbow flag in sight but it was always that way.
In the mid-1990s, a retired psychology professor named Bill Laing bought roughly 22 acres of land south of Tampa.
Inspired by a friend who had faced discrimination at his nursing home after disclosing his sexuality, Laing envisioned a place where members of the LGBTQ community could live out their later years in safety among their peers.
It was radical. Newspapers around the globe from The Wall Street Journal to The Economist reported on construction of the nations first alternative lifestyle retirement village.
Straight people werent barred from the community, but the Palms founder was clear: The community would be built for and marketed to LGBTQ seniors.
Its going to have to be gays and lesbians or people who understand the lifestyle, Laing told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune in 1994. Were not going to turn anyone away. Laing, who was gay, lived in the community until his death in 2000.
Subscribe to our free Top 5 things to do newsletter
Well deliver ideas every Thursday for going out, staying home or spending time outdoors.
Want more of our free, weekly newslettersinyourinbox? Letsgetstarted.
When Hodges and his partner, John, moved into the Palms in 2002, there were 21 single-family homes and six condominiums, The Economist reported, with plans to bring in another 250 people.
Subtlety was the word from the start. Early homeowner bylaws forbid residents from putting up flags of any kind, according to Hodges.
The original owners here came to escape the prejudices of being gay and lesbian, he said. Its not a gated community, so they did not want to advertise, Homosexuals live here. Beat us up!
Originally, Laing planned to build an assisted-living facility inside the Palms, so residents could age in place.
But the developers who took over after Laings death filed for bankruptcy in 2010, halting construction on the property for years. The undeveloped land was sold to the bank, where it remained dormant until it was bought by Meridian General Contracting in 2020.
Many of the original residents have died. Others moved into long-term care homes. Hodges estimates that most of the remaining LGBTQ residents are over 70.
Many retirement communities designed for LGBTQ seniors that sprung up in the wake of the Palms have struggled financially.
But theres growing interest in and need for LGBTQ-specific housing, according to Sydney Kopp-Richardson, director of the National LGBTQ Elder Housing Initiative at SAGE.
An estimated 7 million LGBTQ people will be over the age of 50 by 2030.
These seniors particularly transgender elders and older adults of color are at heightened risk of experiencing violence, lack of familial support and economic instability, Kopp-Richardson said. Many LGBTQ elders report fearing theyll face discrimination and have to re-closet themselves upon entering a retirement community.
All of these factors magnify the isolation that is already huge for seniors, Kopp-Richardson said. So an affinity-based space with your peers, in your community, can really help with your social, mental and physical health.
Retirement communities designed for LGBTQ seniors face a delicate balance, however. Under the federal Fair Housing Act, a community cannot keep someone from moving in because of their sexual orientation.
You cant enforce that only LGBTQ people live there or give LGBTQ elders priority, said Kopp-Richardson. So if there isnt intentional marketing, outreach and sustained programming, theres no assurance that that space will stay LGBTQ-friendly or affirming.
Exactly when Palms properties stopped being advertised as part of an LGBTQ retirement hub is up for debate. Gay and lesbian residents say things changed gradually once the bank took over with a slow drip of new residents moving into empty units.
Whoever bought after that was straight, pretty much, said Mary Cumisky, 80, a homeowner since 2002 who identifies as lesbian. One after the other.
When I saw a Realtor showing it to people, Id go out and introduce myself and say, Did you know this is a gay and lesbian retirement community? Hodges added with a laugh. Yup, gay and lesbian! Its a beautiful place, you should move here!
One thing is clear: The land that used to comprise The Palms of Manasota wont be advertised as an LGBTQ retirement community in the future.
That question never entered our minds, said Kelly Frye, president of Meridian General Contracting. We understand that the LGBTQ community is as equal as any other human on the face of the planet. We just market to human beings. If you want to live there, youre free and welcome to.
Today, LGBTQ retirees own 14 of the 21 single-family homes in the Palms, Hodges said. Two of those are rented to straight people. The villa area is even more mixed, and new homes will be open to anyone.
Back then, there was a need for that camaraderie and being together and that security, said Hodges. Its now 2021. We have come a long way. Theres still obviously hatred, but not near like it used to be. So theres not really a need for it. I do miss it, though.
It was a dream, said Cumisky. Thats all it was.
But a remnant of the old days remains.
Its Friday at 5 p.m., and six neighbors are meeting for weekly happy hour at Cumiskys house she has the lanai that overlooks the pond, after all.
Most of them are members of the LGBTQ community, but a straight neighbor who recently lost her husband also joins.
Sometimes it does turn into group therapy, Cumisky said.
Old people talking about their problems! Hodges said with a chuckle. Real exciting group.
No, no, I thought it was important because we all live by ourselves, and we dont get a chance to talk deeply about things, Cumisky said.
Its big, because Im by myself, she said. Youre by yourself. Sandy has a family, but theyre not around.
Hank is by himself, Ron is by himself, Paulines by herself, Hodges added.
An all-LGBTQ retirement community might have been a dream, but the concept of chosen family lives on in the Palms.
When I had to have my hip replaced last February, I didnt have anybody at all to help take care of me, Hodges said. And Mary was my nurse. She actually used to be a psychiatric nurse.
It was very appropriate, Cumisky said, laughing. We have a good life. We really do have a good life.
We care for each other, Hodges agreed.
Its whats left of the Palms, the original idea, added Cumisky. We still have the feeling for it. And for each other.
More:
Whatever happened to the Palms, dubbed Americas first LGBTQ retirement community? - Tampa Bay Times
- Intentional Community and Capitalism - Shareable - April 10th, 2024 [April 10th, 2024]
- How alternative communities have evolved from pacifist communes to a solution to the ageing population - The Conversation - March 12th, 2024 [March 12th, 2024]
- Georgia Power Announced T. Dallas Smith named to Georgia ... - All On Georgia - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- CSRWire - Thought Leaders Gather for Critical Community ... - CSRwire.com - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- EPA centers diversity with first-ever environmental youth advisory council - Yahoo News - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Rigor, Relevance, & Reality: Education Collaboratory at Yale ... - Yale School of Medicine - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Gaza: UN experts call on international community to prevent ... - ReliefWeb - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Fathering Together Announces Acquisition of City Dads Group - PR Web - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Company to pay over $50 million in largest environmental lawsuit settlement in D.C. history: Health risks to the public - Yahoo News - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Student death is now part of the routine at Middlebury - The Middlebury Campus - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- We welcomed an abandoned dog into our family. But dog dumping ... - Kansas Reflector - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- The National Climate Assessment Goes Woke - Dallasweekly - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- A Conversation about History, Race and the Meaning of True ... - Philanthropy Roundtable - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- The color of community | WORLD - WORLD News Group - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Kindness has good benefits | News, Sports, Jobs - The Review - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Georgia Power Foundation awards grant for BIG Edge ... - Georgia Southern University Newsroom - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- "Chilling": Maryland lawmakers threaten to cut aid to immigrants ... - Salon - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Three water options come with high cost | News, Sports, Jobs - Evening Observer - November 18th, 2023 [November 18th, 2023]
- Welcome to the Team, Kintan! | Office of Immigrant Affairs - Philadelphia Water Department - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Fannie Mae Recognized for Its DEI Efforts - DSNews.com - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Fannie Mae Named 'Best Place to Work for Disability Inclusion' and ... - Fannie Mae - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Focused on progress - Weekly Challenger - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Good Ancestors and Messengers of Hope - Digital Journal - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- 'Make it intentional': 3-N-1 Trinity Services helps young ... - Longview News-Journal - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- 'Latinistas' is the World's First All-Latina Fashion Doll Line - hiplatina.com - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- CSU Releases Findings of Three-Year Research Study on NAVA'S ... - InvestorsObserver - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Press Ganey's Physician of the Year on a cardiology 'game changer ... - Becker's Hospital Review - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- City Officials Join Summer Campers and Local Artists to Kick Off ... - Philadelphia Water Department - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Merrill and Linda Hutchinson on Communication for a Summer of ... - Digital Journal - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Feathers installed as Rotary District Governor | News, Sports, Jobs - The Inter-Mountain - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Theatre at St. Luke's: All Shook Up to The Little Mermaid - Orlando Sentinel - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Culture wars rage on, forcing marketers to decide whether to ... - Marketing Dive - July 11th, 2023 [July 11th, 2023]
- Some thoughts on governance of the local variety - Resilience - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- 988 is saving lives, but more awareness and support needed - Alton Telegraph - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- The Limitations of Eco-Anxiety | Atmos - Atmos Magazine - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Welcome Back: How JAPER Becomes Real for the People in Brazil ... - Just Security - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Now Is the Time to Go All In on Heat Pumps - Rocky Mountain Institute - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Tennessee Department of Transportation (TDOT) celebrates 40th ... - Elizabethton.com - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Discrimination or bureaucracy? A Jewish community in Germany ... - The Jerusalem Post - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- AAP Rules And Guidelines For How To Keep Kids Safe From Cars - Fatherly - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Pine County Sheriff's Report and Jail Roster | Communities ... - Pine City Pioneer - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Is a Hanan Ben Ari concert the solution for Jewish divisions? - opinion - The Jerusalem Post - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- What the LGBT wedding website Supreme Court ruling means for ... - The Atlanta Journal Constitution - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Out at CHM hosts its first 2023 event - Windy City Times - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- 'The time is now': Longtime friends launch support organization for ... - The Lawrence Times - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- La Vergne Receives Municipal League Award for Excellence in Fire ... - rutherfordsource.com - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- UW System offers status update on its five-year strategic plan (day 1 ... - University of Wisconsin System - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Hawaii Native Krystal Ka'ai Tackles Equity And Anti-Asian Hate For ... - Honolulu Civil Beat - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- News & events / News - Diocese of York - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Businesses that address social or environmental problems often ... - The Conversation - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- EFOC: Is This Happening To Me Because I'm Black? Combating ... - Essence - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Stations Telling Diverse Stories With Sponsored Segments from ... - Next TV - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Ex-Prisoners Face Headwinds as Job Seekers, Even as Openings ... - The New York Times - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Bungie weighs in on the current argument raging through the ... - PC Gamer - July 6th, 2023 [July 6th, 2023]
- Myanmar: Dire humanitarian and human rights situation ... - OHCHR - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Invest in our public schools - EdNC - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- N.Y. stands up for LGBTQ equality: Having Pride 12 months a year - New York Daily News - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- NASCAR, Bubba Wallace bring 'Bubba's Block Party' to Chicago - Daytona Times - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Fifth Third's 2022 Sustainability Report Shares Progress on Priorities ... - InvestorsObserver - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Top LGBTQ+ Financial Influencers to Learn from in 2023 - Investopedia - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- 'Retirement is so traditional,' try periodic retirement to figure out ... - Morningstar - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Crisis of missing and murdered Indigenous people brings federal ... - New Mexico In Depth - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- The Astounding Power of Intentional Productivity (And How You Can ... - The Good Men Project - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- What SCOTUS ruling on affirmative action means for UL schools - Louisiana Radio Network - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Community managers find the path for developers and players to ... - VentureBeat - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- The EPA was ready to clean up 'Cancer Alley.' Then it backed off. - Grist - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- What Bidenomics Means for Workers and Families - UpNorthNews - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- The vital link between a healthy press and our republic - The Fulcrum - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Death, Drag, and Decadence shows off the queer joy of DnD - Wargamer - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Israeli Expats in the U.S.: 'I Speak English, but I Don't Speak American' - Tablet Magazine - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- NTSB hearings end with talks on tanker conditions, fire's aftermath - Marietta Times - June 30th, 2023 [June 30th, 2023]
- Can 'Friendship Clubs' Cure the Loneliness Created by Remote Work? - The San Francisco Standard - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- 'Men in Blazers' Podcast Comes to Higher Ground to Talk Vermont ... - Seven Days - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- Mindfulness, breathwork expert preaches value of slow living to Black and brown communities - Yahoo News - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- Idaho's physician shortage is here. Here's what we can do about it. - Idaho Capital Sun - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- Awards Ceremony Shines Spotlight on Caltech's Trailblazers in ... - Caltech - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- The African American Museum of Iowa Announces Juneteenth ... - River Cities Reader - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- US Supreme Court Rules Against Striking Drivers Who Abandoned ... - Engineering News-Record - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- The Future of the Thomaston Green is Green (or should be) - PenBayPilot.com - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]
- The Elephant in the Ethernet Port - City Journal - June 4th, 2023 [June 4th, 2023]