People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women whove decided to opt out of motherhood.
You will regret it! is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think theyll have such awful regrets? Because they often say theyll wind up lonely and sad when theyre older.
They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older theyll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never feel complete unless they have a child.
However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless. Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.
Maybe the question should be: Whats lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?
Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but theyre in the minority. An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.
People revealed the reasons theyve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.
Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a serious question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?
The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children. A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought theyd be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.
Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.
"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.
"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." IBeTrippin
"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." BornaCrone
"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.
"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." ProfessorOzone
"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." joevilla1369
"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." MaerakiStudioMe
"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" Zublor
"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." Videoman7189
"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." laudinum
"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" Hermits_Truth
"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." fwubglubbel
"Im 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just dont much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.
"And Im very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." GrowlKitty
"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" EggOntheRun
"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didnt want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid Id screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. Im a loner by nature though." Johnny-Virgil
From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Visit link:
Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision - Upworthy
- I'm childfree by choice after growing up scared of the idea of being a mum having kids is a selfish choice. - Yahoo Lifestyle UK - January 20th, 2024 [January 20th, 2024]
- 'Why my decision to be childfree might just be the most eco-conscious choice of all' - 9Honey - January 20th, 2024 [January 20th, 2024]
- I'm unmarried, childfree and it ruins Christmas - inews - December 22nd, 2023 [December 22nd, 2023]
- BBC Motherland cast now - Hollywood fame, childfree vow and husband's shock death - The Mirror - December 22nd, 2023 [December 22nd, 2023]
- Dear Prudence: My boyfriend's family tried to starve me. - Slate - September 13th, 2023 [September 13th, 2023]
- Round the Fire: A Love You Cant Defeat - Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO Weekly) - May 30th, 2023 [May 30th, 2023]
- 'Why Don't You Want Kids?' 'Because Apocalypse!' | WIRED - January 22nd, 2023 [January 22nd, 2023]
- Whether youre childless or childfree, you shouldnt have to talk ... - January 22nd, 2023 [January 22nd, 2023]
- Reddit's Childfree Community Has a Parent-Shaming Problem - The Daily Dot - January 22nd, 2023 [January 22nd, 2023]
- Childfree: Why these couples are choosing not to have children - January 2nd, 2023 [January 2nd, 2023]
- People Are Loving How This Childfree Woman Clapped Back At "Friend ... - December 21st, 2022 [December 21st, 2022]
- Daemen University to Host Free Screening of Childfree by Choice Film - November 23rd, 2022 [November 23rd, 2022]
- Childfree People Are Sharing What It's Actually Like To Get Older Without Kids In The Picture, And Their Honesty Is So Refreshing - BuzzFeed - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- 'Special Treatment': New Mom Dragged for Bringing Baby to Childfree Wedding - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- The Reason Miley Cyrus Doesn't Want To Have Kids - msnNOW - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Why a safari holiday was the best way to say goodbye to our childfree life - The Telegraph - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Single and Not Ready to Mingle: The Discrimination Against Single Women in Singapore | Opinion - Newsweek - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Woman divorcing husband because he calls her sister 'his wife' - indy100 - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Woman Gives Up Career to Have Kids, On 3rd Wedding Anniversary Turns Out Her Husband Is Childfree Story of the Day - AmoMama - September 27th, 2022 [September 27th, 2022]
- Woman Kicking Out Brother's Girlfriend and Kid for Lack of 'Respect' Backed - Newsweek - September 27th, 2022 [September 27th, 2022]
- Guy Reveals He's Afraid To Have Kids In Today's Economy, People Chime In With Personal Stories - Bored Panda - September 27th, 2022 [September 27th, 2022]
- 15 Awesome Reasons To Be Childfree By Choice - Bonobology.com - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- Verena Brunschweigers Do Childfree People Have Better Sex? Is A Lot ... - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- r/childfree - "...and most importantly, a mom." -NASA astronaut ... - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- 50 Parents Get Raw And Honest About What They Regret About Having Kids - Bored Panda - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- Nearly 40% of Americans Think $500K Is Enough To Retire -- Are They Wrong? - GOBankingRates - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- I really need some hand holding. I'm a beginner and need help with budgeting and investing. Whats my first step? - MarketWatch - September 20th, 2022 [September 20th, 2022]
- doctors - childfree - reddit - September 15th, 2022 [September 15th, 2022]
- INTERNATIONAL CHILDFREE DAY - August 1, 2023 - National Today - September 15th, 2022 [September 15th, 2022]
- Childfree Woman Wonders If She's A Jerk For Refusing To Help Out ... - September 15th, 2022 [September 15th, 2022]
- Tubal Ligation and Vasectomy: Everything You Should Know - theSkimm - September 15th, 2022 [September 15th, 2022]
- Mother Freaks Out After Finding Out How Much Her Childfree Cousin Spent On A Vacation, Calls Her 'Disgusting' - Bored Panda - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She's 85 Years Old - Bored Panda - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Guy Comes Up With A Brilliant Plan To Intentionally Drink Before Family Gatherings To Dodge Babysitting Duties Which Usually Fall On Him - Bored Panda - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Someone Wonders What's The Most Ridiculous Reason Your Child Had A Meltdown? And 50 Parents Give Hilarious Answers - Bored Panda - September 3rd, 2022 [September 3rd, 2022]
- Children? More than 1 in 5 U.S. adults dont want them - Marin Independent Journal - August 23rd, 2022 [August 23rd, 2022]
- People Who Decided Not To Have Kids Share How Their Lives Turned Out (30 Posts) - Bored Panda - August 23rd, 2022 [August 23rd, 2022]
- Pros and Cons: Why You May (or May Not) Want To Rent Out Your Space - GOBankingRates - August 23rd, 2022 [August 23rd, 2022]
- Buyers and Sellers Have Retreated From The Housing Market For Now, Advisors Say - Financial Advisor Magazine - August 23rd, 2022 [August 23rd, 2022]
- It's Time To End Stressful Partings, Home Pet Euthanasia Is Here - PRUnderground - August 23rd, 2022 [August 23rd, 2022]
- Living a 'childfree' life: 1 in 5 adults don't want to have kids - Study Finds - July 29th, 2022 [July 29th, 2022]
- The Childfree Effigy: On Network's Diana and the Tropes That Betray Women - Literary Hub - July 29th, 2022 [July 29th, 2022]
- 'I'm a Mother of Three, But I Never Wanted Children' - Newsweek - July 29th, 2022 [July 29th, 2022]
- Women say they 'shouldn't have to beg' for a tubal ligation: 'Motherhood is absolutely not for me' - Yahoo Life - July 29th, 2022 [July 29th, 2022]
- Disregard for human life and sexual responsibility is at the core of the pro-abortion movement - Washington Examiner - July 29th, 2022 [July 29th, 2022]
- I grew up in a narcissistic family. I'm not having kids because I want the cycle to end - Salon - July 25th, 2022 [July 25th, 2022]
- Woman Divorces Her Husband Because He Suddenly Has A Child, Gets Called The Jerk - Bored Panda - July 25th, 2022 [July 25th, 2022]
- For respectful, encouraging, positive discussion about childfree lifestyle - July 11th, 2022 [July 11th, 2022]
- What Is a Breeding Kink? How Unprotected Sex Became a Turn-On - VICE UK - July 11th, 2022 [July 11th, 2022]
- Expert Investing Tips: Where To Start When Buying Stocks for the First Time - GOBankingRates - July 11th, 2022 [July 11th, 2022]
- Permanent Birth Control Is in Demand in the U.S.But Hard to Get - Yahoo Life - July 11th, 2022 [July 11th, 2022]
- 12 People Reveal The Things That Costs More For Women Than Men - ScoopWhoop - July 4th, 2022 [July 4th, 2022]
- Am I The Jerk For Bringing My Baby To A Child-Free Wedding? - July 3rd, 2022 [July 3rd, 2022]
- Responding to the Roe Rollback - Wealth Management - June 30th, 2022 [June 30th, 2022]
- The Economics of Abortion in a Post-Roe World - The Dispatch - June 22nd, 2022 [June 22nd, 2022]
- Susan Said She Hopes I Get Hit By A Car?: Discussion Ensues After Woman Shares How Being The Only Single Childless Person At Work Is Wild - Bored... - June 20th, 2022 [June 20th, 2022]
- What's a DINK? Here's what its like to be a couple that revels in having 'dual income, no kids' - Yahoo Philippines News - June 5th, 2022 [June 5th, 2022]
- Back In High School, Her Boyfriend Gave Up 2 Children For Adoption But He Kept This A Secret From Her - Chip Chick - May 31st, 2022 [May 31st, 2022]
- "Am I Wrong For Not Attending My Daughter's Gender Reveal For Her ... - May 25th, 2022 [May 25th, 2022]
- Childfree Humor: 35 Jokes And Memes By People Who Don't Regret Their Childfree Lifestyle - Bored Panda - May 25th, 2022 [May 25th, 2022]
- Dog Mom Vents About Being Excluded From Mother's Day Outing, Throws A Tantrum When Friend Tries To Explain That It's Not The Same As Having Children -... - May 25th, 2022 [May 25th, 2022]
- Comic Artist Captures the Daily Pressures of What It's Like To Be a Woman Today - My Modern Met - May 25th, 2022 [May 25th, 2022]
- Vicki Larson: Its time to get creative about what affordable housing means - Marin Independent Journal - May 25th, 2022 [May 25th, 2022]
- Motherhood isn't contingent on a romantic relationship. So why do we still treat it that way? - WBUR News - May 17th, 2022 [May 17th, 2022]
- Addressing the Global Stigma of Being Childfree - New Security Beat - May 15th, 2022 [May 15th, 2022]
- What if your future husband wants kids? One womans struggle to be sterilized at 24 - Yahoo News - May 15th, 2022 [May 15th, 2022]
- Portraits of Childfree Wealth by Jay Zigmont, PhD, CFP ... - May 7th, 2022 [May 7th, 2022]
- The Family - Noba - May 7th, 2022 [May 7th, 2022]
- Brighton and Hove News Eleanor Conway: Talk Dirty To Me - Brighton and Hove News - May 7th, 2022 [May 7th, 2022]
- Mothers Explain Why They Regret Having Kids In 30 Honest Posts - Bored Panda - May 7th, 2022 [May 7th, 2022]
- More women are saying no to motherhood more than ever - WXYZ 7 Action News Detroit - April 29th, 2022 [April 29th, 2022]
- It's Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up - Bored Panda - April 29th, 2022 [April 29th, 2022]
- The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves - Freethought Blogs - April 29th, 2022 [April 29th, 2022]
- This Dad Says Motherhood Has Changed His Wife for the Worse & Its Striking a Chord On Reddit - SheKnows - March 23rd, 2022 [March 23rd, 2022]
- Jessie Gurunathan: Stop asking me why I don't have kids - New Zealand Herald - March 23rd, 2022 [March 23rd, 2022]
- Pope Francis comments on parenthood are nothing new for ... - March 11th, 2022 [March 11th, 2022]
- Fighting Abortion Now Requires Fighting Increasing Hatred Of Children - The Federalist - March 8th, 2022 [March 8th, 2022]
- Parent-Of-2 Refuses To Attend Sister's Childfree Wedding ... - February 28th, 2022 [February 28th, 2022]
- Lovers of sunshine and attention: Meet the dairy goats at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo - Colorado Springs Gazette - February 28th, 2022 [February 28th, 2022]
- Mum perplexed as pal bans her from birthday party - after planning a trip away - The Mirror - February 28th, 2022 [February 28th, 2022]