Category Archives: Childfree

Updated March 21, 2017 14:20:58

Women decide not to have children for many reasons.

Whether it be career-motivated, a lack of maternal feelings or a concern for population growth's impact on the environment it's often a carefully considered decision.

And we already know fewer women are having kids as each decade goes by.

Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics shows the number of childless women in the 45 to 49 age group was at 14 per cent in 2006. That compares to 11 per cent in 1996, and 9 per cent in 1986.

But what does this choice of childlessness mean for women at different stages of their life?

"I don't need to have kids to validate my life," 27-year-old Amy Gurd of Brisbane says with conviction.

Amy and her husband of five years, Brad, have chosen a childfree life and are considering protective measures like a vasectomy.

Amy is not shy about her decision, but is tired of the judgement she is constantly faced with.

"I'm kind of annoyed this is a topic of conversation. Women are judged for conforming or not conforming to this gender role of being caring mothers," she says.

The PhD student researching criminology realised in high school being a mum wasn't for her. She plans to dedicate herself to a career and travel the world.

"I know there are certainly women who can manage both really well, but becoming a parent would significantly impact and delay mine and my husband's career," she says.

"I'm happy with just my husband. We have two dogs which is enough responsibility."

Amy says lying has become a tool of avoidance in social circles where she often feels the pressure to comply with society's idea of being a woman.

"We actually got to the stage where it was just easier to tell people that we can't have kids just so the conversation will stop.

"I am supportive of people having kids, but it's not reciprocated."

Sydneysider and career woman Natasha David is relieved she didn't succumb to "baby pressure".

The 43-year-old writer has experienced several traumas in her life, including the suicide of her husband, who wanted children.

"If I had have had children because my husband wanted them, there would have been a long period where they might have been emotionally neglected by me while I worked my own stuff out," she says.

"I even had to give away my cats during a time because they weren't getting enough attention, it would have been horrific for a child."

Natasha had not completely written off having kids with her late husband, but wanted for them both to work on their own mental and emotional health before considering it.

"I felt it would be selfish to have a child against all the odds," she says.

"But I felt like society was thinking I was selfish for trying to improve myself before having kids."

Natasha has a vivid memory of her five-year-old self announcing she would be forever childfree.

"My aunties were all laughing and saying I will change my mind. I remember being very offended they said that, because I was very strong-minded.

"I don't like having people depend on me, and am quite independent myself, so I get quite impatient with those who are needy."

Natasha has again found love since her husband's passing, with someone who also doesn't want children.

As for a "kid fix", Natasha says she gets that from loved ones' families.

"Like the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child, I am part of that village."

The oldest of five kids and treated as a friend rather than a daughter by her own mum, Sally Arnold took on a parenting role for her siblings.

That experience combined with a career she loved meant she had no interest in having children of her own.

"Growing up I was like the mother, mum would confide in me and could be a bit of a victim as well, it was quite hard," 66-year-old Sally says.

"There were always kids around, I had no space; I shared a bedroom with two other sisters even when I went to university."

The Melbourne-based psychotherapist and former business development manager for the Australian Ballet says later in life the arts and her husband were enough.

Perhaps surprisingly, Sally never felt any pressure to have children. Her late husband Tony had children from a previous marriage, and her own parents weren't interested in grandchildren.

"Mum and dad, they were shocking grandparents (to my siblings' children). It was almost like impediment for my dad," Sally says.

As for societal expectations, Sally says the arts was the perfect space for carving her own path without judgement.

"You're working with gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, it's a world of all possibilities sexually.

"The world I lived in very much encouraged diversity."

She says not having children has given her the freedom to discover herself, including joining a Buddhist community and undertaking intensive study.

As for entering her more mature years childfree, Sally isn't concerned.

"You can't expect kids to be around when you're older.

"There are times when I am lonely of course but then because I've done a lot of work on myself and I know I can't put it on others to help me through feeling lonely."

Healthy Mind Project psychologist Talya Rabinovitz works with women in their 30s and 40s who don't want children but have anxiety around it.

"On the one hand they can see themselves being happy in life without kids. On the other hand, they're worried they're making the wrong decision," she says.

"[Some] women report wanting kids but cite social pressure as the main motivating factor."

Talya says there are also cases of clients regretting their choice.

"They reach their early 50s and said, 'I wish I'd just taken the risk and had kids; now it's too late'."

But she says those who are confident about being childfree typically report feeling a sense of fulfillment and freedom from other areas of their life.

For women who feel selfish for considering a childfree life, Talya says choosing not to have children is as valid as choosing to have them.

"There is, however, a real opportunity for these women to learn how to harness the power of uncertainty and the freedom that comes when you surrender to it.

"Women who I've seen do this, step into their lives with a sureness that they will be OK, no matter what happens."

Topics: women, community-and-society, careers, family-and-children, womens-health, australia

First posted March 21, 2017 06:03:07

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Childfree: Meet the women who don't want to become mums - ABC Online

Increasing numbers of peoplein the United States, and in many other countries around the globe, are living child-free, either because they are delaying having children or forgoing parenthood altogether. Census data from 2015, the latest numbers available, shows that nearly half of women ages15 to 44 dont have kids, which is the highest its been since the Census Bureau started recording these statistics.

And while the percentage of women who make it into their 40s without having childrenhas fallen some since a high in 2006, a Pew Research review of government datashows that15 percent of American women in their 40s have never had a baby.

But while being childless is more common than ever, the social stigma attached to childlessness is still going strong, according to research done by LeslieAshburn-Nardo, an associate professor of psychology at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis. Ashburn-Nardo recently published a study in the journal Sex Rolesthat shows that the shifts in social norms have not significantly reduced negative attitudes toward the deliberately child-free.

Sheargued in an interview byphone that when we encounter people who violate, in some way, these strongly prescribed roles or norms, like interest in having children, then theres great potential for social backlash. She added, We feel like people are morally defective in their decision or behavior, and were motivated to punish them in some way, usually social sanction.

Ashburn-Nardo was curious to see if the increasingly high rates of childlessness in our culture werereducing the amount of social judgment against the deliberately child-free. To test this, she brought in a group of 204 undergraduate psychology students, under the pretense of testing their ability to predict the future, and had them read a short vignette about a former student who had married his or her college sweetheart.Half the students read about someone who had chosen to have two children, and half read about a personwho had electedto have none. They were then asked to fill out a survey to measure their attitudes about the former student.

Despite living in the 21st century and being, as college students, mostly childless themselves the survey takers were just as disapproving and disgusted with those who had decided against having children as similar survey takers were in the 1970s and 80s.

Those who were voluntarily child-free elicited greater moral outrage and were also seen as being less psychologically fulfilled, Ashburn-Nardo explained.To me, that really is indicative not just of a descriptive norm of whats happening in the world, but more of a prescriptive, like this is an expectation that people should want to have children.

What was particularly interesting, Ashburn-Nardo pointed out, wasthat survey takerspredicted that this choice to be childless would make the hypothetical couple unhappy.She pointed out that other studies have repeatedly shown the opposite to be true. Research shows that child-free people are just as satisfied with their lives as parentsare. In fact, childfree people tend to be happier on a day-to-day basis, and significantly more satisfied with their marriages.

Backlash theory, however, might explain whats going on here. As Ashburn-Nardo pointed out, when we feel moral outrage toward someone, as the surveytakers did toward the deliberately childless, we want to see them punished. Perhaps the prediction that the childless couple would be unhappy wasa kind of wishful thinking. People want to believe that those who dont have children will suffer because they believe, on some level, that the child-freeshould suffer.

Anti-choice activistscan safely be seen as the most ardent believers inthe notion that parenthood is a duty, not a choice, and therefore the most invested in the idea that those who defy social expectations byrejecting the opportunity to have a baby should suffer for their choices. Sure enough, the anti-choice movement is permeated with the myth of abortion regret, the idea that women who choose to have abortions will suffer from depression and even suicidal thoughts afterward.

There is no evidence whatsoever that women who have abortionshave regret, never mindserious mental health problems. On the contrary, repeated research has shown that womenwho have abortions do just fine compared withwomen who dont.But anti-choice activists so desperately want women who have abortions to suffer that they have convinced themselves that abortion regret is a real thing.The surveytakers who believed it was wrong to be child-free and who thought that those who choose it will suffer may be expressing a more muted variation of the same impulse.

One interesting finding from Ashburn-Nardos study was that the surveytakers didnot differentiate between men and women when passing judgment on those who are voluntarily childless. The students had beendivided into four groups: One group read about a childless man, the second set read about a childless woman, the third cluster about a woman with two children and the final group read about a man with two children.

Ashburn-Nardo had expected, she said, that the childless woman would elicit more moral outrage than the childless man. That wasnt the case. Both men and women were negatively judged for choosing not to have children. Women may be expected to invest more heavily in parenthood, butpeople still think theres something wrong with a man who doesnt want to have kids.

These findings are particularly interesting in light of polling data, collected by Gallup, that shows thatAmericans increasingly rate premarital sex, birth control and abortion as morally acceptable. But Ashburn-Nardos research suggests that while Americans might be more comfortable with separating sex fromchildbearing, there is still a lot of discomfort aboutpeople who refuse to become parents at all.

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Child-free and OK with it but still dealing with moral scolding and ... - Salon

When 26-year-old tech reporter Holly Brockwell went public with her quest to be sterilised, she sparked a nationwide controversy and added a fresh dimension to Britains gender debate.

But the massive backlash from her media appearances was far from the biggest hurdle the now 31-year-old faced in her journey to ensure her childlessness.

ITV/ This Morning

The journalist says that for four years she was patronised, challenged and dismissed by doctors who told her she was too young to make a permanent decision about her fertility.

But Brockwell says sterilisation was the only option for her.

I dont want babies, she says simply. Society tends to see the pill as a magic solution, but theres not nearly enough discussion of the enormous effect it can have on womens bodies, moods and lives.

I dont react well to hormonal contraception, which means the pill, implant [and] injection make me ill and give me side effects no man would be willing to live with.

When a woman is sterilised, her fallopian tubes are blocked or sealed to prevent eggs from travelling away from the ovary to be fertilised.

Even on the day of her sterilisation, after her numerous appeals were finally granted, Brockwell says she was talked down to by her surgeon.

He was clearly, vocally against the procedure and spent what felt like forever trying to bully me into changing my mind, she says.

He even brought in a doctor from the IVF department to guilt me about how difficult it is to have a baby by IVF.

A year on from the procedure, Brockwell says she has absolutely no regrets about her decision to permanently end her fertility.

I just wish Id been able to have the procedure sooner. It would have saved me a lot of stress, illness and money for panic-bought pregnancy tests.

Holly Brockwell appearing on ITVs This Morning in March 2016 after winning her bid to be sterilised

Brockwell may have become the covergirl for this controversial issue, but there is plenty of evidence that women across the country in their twenties and thirties are also fighting to be sterilised.

A quick internet search reveals numerous discussion threads and thousands of articles around the subject.When The Huffington Post UK reached out to a support group for people who have decided to remain childfree, dozens of women rushed to share their stories.

Many of these young women say they have been ridiculed and denied by doctors who insist they will change their minds about becoming a mother as they get older.

Since the start of the millennium, there has been a dramatic decrease in the number of women sterilised in England.

While 35,300 women underwent the procedure in 2000/01, this figure fell by 72.5% in just ten years, with only 9,700 women being sterilised between 2010 and 2011.

Research has shown that this is partly down to the development of long-acting, reversible forms of contraception over the last 20 years.

Hero Images via Getty Images

Thanks to inventions such as hormonal implants and devices like the coil, women can now overcome some of the disadvantages of user-dependent birth control without making a permanent decision about their fertility.

But medical ethicist Dr Anna Smajdor from the University of Oslo believes other factors are also at work.

I am sure that doctors assume young women may want children and that it is regarded as pathological if they do not, she says.

In my experience, this is not the case for men in the same way.

Our society treats women as the primary, and sometimes the sole person involved in reproduction, and of course this finds its way into consultation practices.

Steph, a 31-year-old pet carer, certainly found this to be the case.

First rejected for sterilisation at the age of 26, her plea for the operation was denied again three years later.

Instead, they offered her boyfriend a vasectomy.

Although her partner Mark, seven years her senior, already had a son by a previous relationship, Steph told HuffPost UK the decision was a clear example of sexism.

She explained: It seems that as a man, you have more right to say that you dont want children - everyone is quite respectful of that.

For women, its as if we are all born to churn out children.If you dont feel like that, they give you more time until you make the right decision.

I have been with Mark for six years, but imagine if I was single or had only been with him six months.

You never know what is going to happen in life, Steph added. I still have no choice over whether my body reproduces or not.

Thanasis Zovoilis via Getty Images

For model and blogger Faith Roswell, a lack of control over her own body was one of the most frustrating elements of her fight to be sterilised.

Finally accepted for the procedure in her late twenties, she spent a decade pleading with GPs over the operation.

I told my doctor: Im 28. If I told you that I had been trying to get pregnant for 10 years, you would be helping me.

Im now telling you that Ive been trying not to get pregnant since I was 18. I want you to help me.

If Im trusted to make one decision about my contraceptive health, I should be trusted to make another one as well.

Between 2000 and 2010, the number of vasectomies performed in England dropped by more than half (56%), down to 18,000 a year.

But vasectomies - described as simpler, safer and more reliable by the NHS - still outnumber female sterilisation procedures by 8,300 operations a year.

For doctors, a young woman asking to be sterilised can present a moral dilemma.

Professor Phillip Hannaford, an expert in female reproductive health and contraception, says: Its about trying to give people a sense that they have control over their fertility, but doing it in a way that doesnt have permanence at that age.

People get married older and have children at an older age now I think the average age of the first pregnancy is in the late twenties, early thirties.

People change partners and often want to cement that new relationship with children, he continued.

I can very clearly remember a patient when I was in practice who had heavy periods and wanted to have a hysterectomy. I said: I really do think you are young, lets try a bit longer.

She came back three years later showing me her new baby that she was really proud of and thanking me for not supporting her in that decision.

But Dr Smajdor disagrees.I think if doctors did not emphasise the downsides of sterilisation they would not be doing their jobs properly,she says.

It is difficult because so many of the emotional risks are contingent and speculative, but still, they need to be considered.

However, giving the information is one thing; having given it, the woman should make her own decision in the light of these facts.

HuffPost UK is running a month-long project in March called All Women Everywhere, providing a platform to reflect the diverse mix of female experience and voices in Britain today.

Through blogs, features and video, well be exploring the issues facing women specific to their age, ethnicity, social status, sexuality and gender identity.

If youd like to blog on our platform around these topics, email ukblogteam@huffingtonpost.com

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Meet The Twenty-Something Childfree Women Fighting To Be Sterilised - Huffington Post UK

PHOTO: Courtesy Everett Collection

The proportion of people who don't have children has gone way up over the past few years. The birth rate for women in their twenties dropped by 15 percent from 2007 to 2012, and nearly half of women ages 15-44 had no kids in 2014. There's even a new word for the decisionopting to be "childfree"as a less pitiable-sounding alternative to"childless." Celebrities from Oprah Winfrey to Jennifer Aniston have spoken out about the fact that we don't need kids to feel complete.

But that message hasn't reached everyone. A study published in Sex Roles has found that even Millennials, a third of whom plan to remain childfree themselves, don't just consider people without kids less fulfilledthey actually get angry when they hear about them.

Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, Indianapolis professor Leslie Ashburn-Nardo gave 197 college students an excerpt about someone named James or Jennifer who had either two kids or none. Then, she asked them to rate how happy the character was with their marriage, their children or lack thereof, and life overall. Participants were also asked how this person made them feel.

People considered the childfree characters less satisfied than those with two kids, and they felt "significantly greater moral outrage" toward them than toward parents. And although many women in particular have felt pressured to start families due to gender roles, negative feelings were directed equally toward Jennifer and James.

These findings confirm what a lot of childfree peopleand even people like Adele who have had kids but don't want morehave been saying all along: The stigma against them is real. 69 percent of Millennials believe this isn't a problem anymore, but the data suggest otherwise. There's clearly still a lot of work to be done to change society's attitudes about children and who does and doesn't have them.

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Ugh: Americans Still Think Less of People Without Kids - Glamour

There was once a time when deciding not to have children automatically made you a social pariah. And even as an increasing number of people are choosing not to become parents, the social bias against childfree adults persists.

Birth rates among 20-something women have declined steeplyas millennialsdelay marriage and having kidsin order to focus on things like education, career, personal growth and financial stability. Many others arent having children at all, and the number of women who have chosen to forgo motherhood altogether has doubled since 1970.

Yet many people still consider the decision to forgo parenthood as not only abnormal and surprising, but also morally wrong, suggests new research from Indiana University-Purdue University.

The findings, published in the March issue of Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, show that most people view parenthood as a moral imperative for men and women.

For the study, 204 psychology students at a Midwestern university read a short passage about a married adult and then rated their feelings toward the person and their perception of the persons level of psychological fulfillment. The only details in the passages that changed were the characters gender and whether they had chosen to have kids.

Childfree men and women were consistently viewed as being less personally fulfilled than those who had two children. This is likely due to the fact that the participants reported significantly greater feelings of moral outrage including anger, disgust and disapproval toward the voluntarily childless people.

Perceiving the childfree people as less fulfilled acts as a way of punishing them for violating whats often considered to be both a social norm and a moral imperative,according to study author Dr. Leslie Ashburn-Nardo.

Parenthood is a cultural norm and as with other norms, violations are not looked upon kindly.Research has shown that people who diverge from social role expectations often face backlash from other members of society for defying the unwritten social contract.

Through parentsand peers,people learn that parenthood is both typical and expected,Ashburn-Nardo wrote. Peoplewho violate social role expectations based on widely sharedcultural stereotypes are subject to perceivers backlash, suchas social and economic sanctions and sabotage. This backlashis justified in the minds of perceivers because the targets arethought to have brought it upon themselves by not fulfillingtheir expected roles.

Of course, the fact that childless women are widely discriminated against shouldnt come as news to anyone. Childlessness has been described as the final female taboo,and women who choose not to become mothers are often considered selfish or career-obsessed.Women are still expected to conform to gender stereotypes and are criticized and punished when they dont.

This enduring bias carries real repercussions. A 2011 studyfound that women without children suffer from poorer health, likely thanks to the enduring social stigma against childlessness. Childless people are also discriminated against in the workplace, being subject to less schedule flexibility and fewer tax breaks compared to their co-workers who are parents.

Other research has linked moral outrage to discrimination and interpersonal mistreatment, Ashburn-Nardo said in a statement. Its possible that, to the extent they evoke moral outrage, voluntarily child-free people suffer similar consequences. ... Exploring such outcomes for this demographic is the next step in my research.

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This May Explain Why So Many People Feel Outraged About Childfree Adults - Huffington Post

Stephen Dimilo Ashers, director of emerging markets at Afriquest Research Photo: Courtesy

"If I had kids, my kids would hate me. They would have ended up on the equivalent of the Oprah show talking about me; because something [in my life] would have had to suffer and it would've probably been them." Those are the famous words of American mogul Oprah Winfrey.

And those are not unique sentiments; other celebrities like Cameron Diaz and Ellen Degeneres share them too. Step away from Hollywood and enter Kenya and you will realise that having children is also not everyone's cuppa too.

Stephen Dimilo Ashers, a 33-year-old director of emerging markets at Afriquest Research does not want children. His father told him that he would probably change his mind. "He says that it's just a matter of time and that it (the desire for kids) will come. My mother, on the other hand keeps on asking me if there's something wrong with me. However, my younger brother tells me that if I don't want to have children, then that's ok. He has a child- which he thinks wasn't such a great decision on his part," Stephen says.

Parents are often quoted saying things along the lines of "I always wanted to be a parent. Children are such a blessing!" Similarly, for those who opt not to procreate, it often is something they've always known. However, more often than not, it's a decision which stems from fear that they would make inadequate parents. "I probably knew (that I didn't want kids), when I was old enough to think about the responsibility of raising children. My biggest reason for not wanting kids is independence. I like to be a free soul. Also, I am a lousy teacher. I'm not sure I would teach them anything," Stephen says.

And while Stephen's decision might not be popular, he's definitely not the only one opting for a childfree lifestyle. While some have made the decision to not sire, others have gone a step ahead to cement their decision.

"I recently had a vasectomy and I have no regrets about it," says Kiarii Kimani, a 30-year-old popular photographer based in Nairobi. Having watched his parent's marriage crumble when he was 11 and the subsequent suffering he and his two siblings went through, he is adamant that his decision to be childfree is the right one, at least for him. "I think it is selfish to bring a child into this world and not be there for them. People who choose not to get children are not selfish. Career, life, and other issues influence the decision not to have children. Children are not a must in life and I don't owe anyone a child," he adds.

In African culture, life's trajectory seems to be clearly defined; go to school, find a job, get married, have children. But more and more people, especially millennials, are defying the societal expectation to have children.

According to the 2014 Kenya Demographic and Health Survey, Kenya's birth rates have fallen in recent years and Kenyan women have an average of 3.9 births- a decline from the fertility rate of 4.6 recorded in the 2008-2009 survey. While the drop in births in the country can be largely attributed to smaller family sizes, it is safe to assume those opting to not have children at all also contribute to the overall drop in fertility rates.

The decision to have or not to have children should be a private and personal one. However, it usually takes place in a culture which equates adulthood with parenthood. This is a society in which women are shunned or even physically assaulted for failing to conceive and bear children and men feel that their manhood is defined by their ability to sire children. In 2016 the world was shocked by the case of Jackline Mwende, a Kenyan woman whose arms were chopped off by her husband for failing to provide her husband with an heir. Additionally, fertility treatments are widely available- making parenthood possible even for those who those suffering from clinical infertility.

Because of these societal expectations, the decision not to procreate is often received with recrimination, skepticism, and disbelief. When Kimani informed his family of his decision, he was warned that he would regret it and his sunset years would be lonely. "My parents separated when I was 11 and got divorced when I was 18. I'm not particularly close to either of them and I haven't told them that I want to remain child free yet. I have told my siblings, although I didn't expound on the reasons behind my decision."

Stella Nasambu, a 30-year-old digital strategist, laughs at how her mother reacted when she learned that she probably wasn't getting any grandchildren from her daughter. "She had the classic African mother reaction...absolute horror. Then she had a mini prayer session right there in the middle of the kitchen! Now I try not to be offended every time she brings it up and questions it...because that's how her generation was raised. I enjoy more freedom of choice, while my parents had more or less a set path (in life)," Stella says.

Stella says she realised she had to make a decision when she turned 27. "I had a sit-down with myself when I turned 27 and soul searched for months about why I should have kids...not when. I looked at what I was bringing to the table as a parent to a potential child and realised that I couldn't possibly parent a 'normal' kid who would turn out healthy and happy," she explains.

"I feel that I'm not maternal in any way, shape, or form. I don't have the absolute grit that my parents had or my friends have to bring a whole separate being into this world and shape their lives. It's just something I've never invested much emotion or thought towards," she adds.

The common assumption is that those who opt to be childless are people who don't like children. However, that's not necessarily true. Stella considers herself a 'kids person' who is a cool aunt. "I take time to listen to my nephews and nieces and nurture them without pushing my views on them. Children so love and have boundless imagination so it's always a treat to hang out with them," she says.

Stephen also likes kids, albeit in small doses. "Two of my siblings have children, and I enjoy their company to some extent. But after a while, they wear me out," he quips. On the other hand, Kimani doesn't see himself as a 'kid's person' at all. "I am not a kid's person. I've watched my behavior around children and realised that I just don't gel with them," he says.

Vasectomy procedures are on the rise

Despite its efficacy, vasectomy is still viewed as a taboo with a majority of men thinking that undergoing vasectomy is a form of castration and that it makes one less manly. That said, vasectomy has also been gaining acceptance amongst men who already have children. In 2011, 3,652 men are recorded as having undergone vasectomy in the country. This is quite an impressive number, especially when you compare it to the 246 vasectomies recorded in the country between 1987 and 1991.

Kimani says that vasectomy is quite a simple procedure. "It was short and painless. I think it lasted about twenty minutes. I'd already decided to get it done 11 years ago, so I was relieved when it was done. I got the procedure at Kenya National Theatre during World Vasectomy day, November 18, 2016.

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I had a vasectomy and I have no regrets - Why a lot of people are opting for a child free lifestyle - SDE Entertainment News (satire) (press release)...

The conference is hosted by TheNotMom.com and its founder and chief executive Karen Malone Wright, the international expert about women without children. The blog is distinguished by its embrace of women who once dreamed of motherhood as well as those who never did. The inaugural conference held in 2015 was a resounding success, attracting women from three continents, five countries (Canada, China, England, Iceland and the USA) - and 18 states across America.

In 2017, more American women are childless by chance or childfree by choice than at any time since the U.S. Census Bureau began tracking them in 1976. Today, about one of every six women will never give birth, compared to one of every 10 women 40 years ago. Even so, mothers represent the majority of women, so for us, 'I'm not a Mom' is a common self-descriptor," Wright said.

"The tired old trope of 'selfish, childless cat ladies', doesn't hold in a world where Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor, British Prime Minister Theresa May, IBM CEO Virginia Rometty and media powerhouse Oprah Winfrey reflect the intellect, philanthropy and concern for future generations demonstrated by women without children every day," Wright said.

The theme of The NotMom Summit, Redefining Feminine Legacy, weaves through presentations by expert speakers from the United States and United Kingdom including academics, counselors, business owners and other professional women on topics ranging from financial planning to small-batch cooking.

Saturday's keynote speaker will be Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, the global support network reaching almost two million women who are childless by chance. She is author of Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children. A portion of event proceeds will be donated to The NotMom charitable partner, The Global Fund For Women.

"When you don't have children, you approach life differently, from how you spend your money and plan your life, to how you relate to your family and friends. And, thousands of women who aren't mothers - aunts, godmothers, teachers, social workers and others - gladly share their time and resources with other people's children," Wright said.

"At The NotMom Summit, both women who chose a life without children and those who didn't can enjoy the very rare opportunity to come together offline and acknowledge the shared aspects of their lives," Wright said.

For information on sponsorship and other partner opportunities, please contact Karen Malone Wright at Karen@TheNotMom.com.

The NotMom.com is a distinctive resource of news, commentary and connections for and about women without children by choice or by chance - one of every six American women with comparable numbers around the world. The NotMom is American in focus but global in scope, focused on the unique dimensions of life without children in a Mom-centered world. The NotMom engages and influences a growing community of more than 25,000 women age 26 and up through the blog, events and social online networks. The NotMom Summit, the only major conference of its kind in the world, brings these women together offline to acknowledge and enhance the shared aspects of their lives.

NotMom Summit Links: Schedule, Speakers & Tickets: https://notmomsummit2017.sched.org Discount Reservations -Hilton Cleveland Downtown: https://aws.passkey.com/go/NotMom

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheNotMom and https://www.facebook.com/NotMomSummit2017 Twitter: @TheNotMom and @KarenMW Pinterest: TheNotMom Social Hashtag: #NotMomSummit

This press release was issued through 24-7PressRelease.com. For further information, visit http://www.24-7pressrelease.com.

To view the original version on PR Newswire, visit:http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/only-one-in-the-world-pioneering-notmom-summit-to-connect-childless--childfree-women-300402277.html

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Only One in the World: Pioneering NotMom Summit to Connect Childless & Childfree Women - PR Newswire (press release)

Props to Jesse Nichols(@HappyNinjaUX) for reminding parents that childfree adults indeed childfree couples dont hate children. Not necessarily. Not in his case, at least, nor in my case. Kids have been (and will continue to be) an important part of my life. As a teacher, coach, advisor, uncle, friend, and unabashed man-child, children []

At 29, female and happily married, there is one question I despise more than all others. Its the dreaded, When are you going to have kids? People always throw it in there casually, too. Usually between such innocuous questions as, Hows your mother? or, Wheres the bathroom? Just as Im getting comfortable in a conversation, []

How tinted do your grievance glasses have to be to see a bias TOWARDS parents in todays economy? Im sorry, employers value parents? []Trying to work and raisechildren at the same time in this country is exhausting and expensive No wonder parents are miserableBut most of the issues articulated in thisFortunepiece are work-life balance issues, []

Since the 1970s, being childfree not wanting children has slowly become more recognized as a legitimate choice[but]we still have a ways to go when it comes to society accepting those with no children without judgment or stigma. This lack of acceptance has played out in the workplace. (Source: The Brutal Truth About Being []

Childfree articles in the press usually get a lot of below-the-line debate. Lilit Marcus, writing for The Guardian about some of the factors behind her decision to remain childfree, definitely stirred the pot last week. Some didnt bother disguising their vitriol, but Ive discovered that theres a new passive-aggressive approach on the block. This approach []

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Why No Kids - We're childfree and happy. You could be too!

Voluntary childlessness, also described by some as being childfree, is the lifelong voluntary choice to not have children. This includes avoiding having biological, step, or adopted children.

The usage of the term "childfree" to describe people are those who choose not to have children was coined in the English language late in the 20th century.[1]

In most societies and for most of human history choosing not to have children was both difficult and undesirable. The availability of reliable contraception along with support provided in old age by systems other than traditional familial ones has made childlessness an option for people in developed countries, though they may be looked down upon in certain communities.

The meaning of the term "childfree" extends to encompass the children of others (in addition to ones own children) and this distinguishes it further from the more usual term "childless", which is traditionally used to express the idea of having no children, whether by choice or by circumstance.[2] The term 'child free' has been cited in Australian literature to refer to parents who are without children at the current time. This may be due to them living elsewhere on a permanent basis or a short-term solution such as childcare (Australian Institute of Family Studies, 2011).

Supporters of living childfree (e.g. Corinne Maier, French author of "No Kids: 40 Reasons For Not Having Children") cite various reasons[3] for their view:

According to economist David Foot of the University of Toronto, the level of a woman's education is the most important factor in determining whether she will reproduce: the higher her level of education, the less likely she is to bear children. (Or if she does, the fewer children she is likely to have.) Overall, researchers have observed childless couples to be more educated, and it is perhaps because of this that they are more likely to be employed in professional and management occupations, more likely for both spouses to earn relatively high incomes, and to live in urban areas. They are also less likely to be religious, subscribe to traditional gender roles, or subscribe to conventional roles.[8]

Being a childfree American adult was considered unusual in the 1950s.[9][10] However, the proportion of childless adults in the population has increased significantly since then. The proportion of childlessness among women aged 40-44 was 10% in 1976, reached a high of 20% in 2005, then declined to 15% in 2014.[11] In Europe, childlessness among women aged 40-44 is most common in Austria, Spain and the United Kingdom (in 2010-2011).[12] Childlessness is least common across Eastern European countries,[13] although one child families are very common there.

From 2007 to 2011 the fertility rate in the U.S. declined 9%, the Pew Research Center reporting in 2010 that the birth rate was the lowest in U.S. history and that childfreeness rose across all racial and ethnic groups to about 1 in 5 versus 1 in 10 in the 1970s.[14] The CDC released statistics in the first quarter of 2016 confirming that the U.S. fertility rate had fallen to its lowest point since record keeping started in 1909: 59.8 births per 1,000 women, half its high of 122.9 in 1957.[15] Even taking the falling fertility rate into account, the U.S. Census Bureau still projected that the U.S. population would increase from 319 million (2014) to 400 million by 2051.[15]

The National Center of Health Statistics confirms that the percentage of American women of childbearing age who define themselves as childfree (or voluntarily childless) rose sharply in the 1990sfrom 2.4 percent in 1982 to 4.3 percent in 1990 to 6.6 percent in 1995.

In 2010, updated information on childlessness, based on a 2008 US Census Population Survey, was analyzed by Pew Research.[16]

While younger women are more likely to be childless, older women are more likely to state that they intend to remain childless in the future.

Being unmarried is one of the strongest predictors of childlessness. It has also been suggested through research that married individuals who were concerned about the stability of their marriages were more likely to remain childless.

Most studies on this subject find that higher income predicted childlessness. However, some women report that lack of financial resources was a reason why they decided to remain childless. Childless women in the developed world often express the view that women ultimately have to make a choice between motherhood and having a career. The 2004 Census Bureau data showed nearly half of women with annual incomes over $100,000 are childless.

Among women aged 3544, the chance of being childless was far greater for never married women (82.5%) than for ever-married (12.9%). When the same group is analyzed by education level, increasing education correlates with increasing childlessness: not-H.S. graduate (13.5%), H.S. graduate (14.3%), Some College no degree (24.7%), Associate Degree (11.4%), Bachelor's degree (18.2%) and Graduate or Professional degree (27.6%).[17][18]

Most societies place a high value on parenthood in adult life, so that people who remain childfree are sometimes stereotyped as being "individualistic" people who avoid social responsibility and are less prepared to commit themselves to helping others.[19] However, certain groups believe that being childfree is beneficial. With the advent of environmentalism and concerns for stewardship, those choosing to not have children are also sometimes recognized as helping reduce our impact, such as members of the voluntary human extinction movement. Some childfree are sometimes applauded on moral grounds, such as members of philosophical or religious groups, like the Shakers.

There are three broad areas of criticism regarding childfreeness, based upon socio-political, feminist or religious reasons. There are also considerations relating to personal philosophy and social roles.

Childfreedom may no longer be considered the 'best' way to be feminist. Once a paragon of second-wave feminism, the nullipara (childless or childfree woman) is not typically described in third-wave feminism as being superior to, or more feminist than, women who choose to have children. Feminist author Daphne DeMarneffe links larger feminist issues to both the devaluation of motherhood in contemporary society, as well as the delegitimization of "maternal desire" and pleasure in motherhood.[20] In third-wave handbook Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future, authors Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards explore the concept of third-wave feminists reclaiming "girlie" culture, along with reasons why women of Baby Boomer and Generation X ages may reject motherhood because, at a young and impressionable age, they witnessed their own mothers being devalued by society and family.[21]

On the other hand, in "The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order"[22] and in Utne Reader magazine, third-wave feminist writer Tiffany Lee Brown described the joys and freedoms of childfree living, freedoms such as travel previously associated with males in Western culture. In "Motherhood Lite," she celebrates being an aunt, co-parent, or family friend over the idea of being a mother.[23] Nonetheless, in 2010, Brown gave birth to a son.

However as the point of feminism is for women to make their own choices, child freedom is considered one of those choices.

Some believe that overpopulation is a serious problem and some question the fairness of what they feel amount to subsidies for having children, such as the Earned Income Tax Credit (US), free K12 education paid for by all taxpayers, family medical leave, and other such programs.[24] Others, however, do not believe overpopulation to be a problem in itself; regarding such problems as overcrowding, global warming, and straining food supplies to be problems of public policy and/or technology.[25]

Some have argued that this sort of conscientiousness is self-eliminating (assuming it is heritable), so by avoiding reproduction for ethical reasons the childfree will only aid deterioration of concern for the environment and future generations.[26]

Some regard governmental or employer-based incentives offered only to parentssuch as a per-child income tax credit, preferential absence planning, employment legislation, or special facilitiesas intrinsically discriminatory, arguing for their removal, reduction, or the formation of a corresponding system of matching incentives for other categories of social relationships. Childfree advocates argue that other forms of caregiving have historically not been considered equalthat "only babies count"and that this is an outdated idea that is in need of revision. Caring for sick, disabled, or elderly dependents entails significant financial and emotional costs but is not currently subsidized in the same manner. This commitment has traditionally and increasingly fallen largely on women, contributing to the feminization of poverty in the U.S.[27]

The focus on personal acceptance is mirrored in much of the literature surrounding choosing not to reproduce. Many early books were grounded in feminist theory and largely sought to dispel the idea that womanhood and motherhood were necessarily the same thing, arguing, for example, that childfree people face not only social discrimination but political discrimination as well.[24]

Abrahamic religions such as Judaism, Christianity, and Islam place a high value on children and their central place in marriage. In numerous works, including an Apostolic letter written in 1988,[28]Pope John Paul II has set forth the Roman Catholic emphasis on the role of children in family life. However, the Catholic Church also stresses the value of chastity in the non-married state of life and so approves of nominally childfree ways of life for the single. Some religious interpretations hold that any couple who marries with the intention of not producing children is not married within the church.

There are, however, some debates within religious groups about whether a childfree lifestyle is acceptable. Another view, for example, is that the biblical text Gen. 1:28 "Be fruitful and multiply," is really not a command but a blessing formula and that while there are many factors to consider as far as people's motives for remaining childless, there are many valid reasons, including dedicating one's time to demanding but good causes, why Christians may choose to remain childless for a short time or a lifetime.[29] Matthew 19:12 describes Jesus as listing three types of eunuchs including one type who chooses it intentionally, noting that whoever is willing to become one, should. Furthermore, in two different places in the Bible, Luke as well as Matthew, Jesus himself warns against having children in the end times. Also, Jesus as well as Paul, to name a few of several men as well as women, are childless.

Brian Tomasik cites ethical reasons for people to remain childfree. Also, they will have more time to focus on themselves, which will allow for greater creativity and the exploration of personal ambitions. In this way, they may benefit themselves and society more than if they had a child.[30]

Some opponents of the childfree choice consider such a choice to be "selfish". The rationale of this position is the assertion that raising children is a very important activity and so not engaging in this activity must therefore mean living one's life in service to one's self. The value judgment behind this idea is that individuals should endeavor to make some kind of meaningful contribution to the world, but also that the best way to make such a contribution is to have children. For some people, one or both of these assumptions may be true, but others prefer to direct their time, energy, and talents elsewhere, in many cases toward improving the world that today's children occupy (and that future generations will inherit).[31]

Proponents of childfreedom posit that choosing not to have children is no more or less selfish than choosing to have children. Choosing to have children may be the more selfish choice, especially when poor parenting risks creating many long term problems for both the children themselves and society at large.[32] As philosopher David Benatar[33] explains, at the heart of the decision to bring a child into the world often lies the parents' own desires (to enjoy child-rearing or perpetuate one's legacy/genes), rather than the potential person's interests. At very least, Benatar believes this illustrates why a childfree person may be just as altruistic as any parent.

There is also the question as to whether having children really is such a positive contribution to the world in an age when there are many concerns about overpopulation, pollution and depletion of non-renewable resources. Some critics counter that such analyses of having children may understate its potential benefits to society (e.g. a greater labor force, which may provide greater opportunity to solve social problems) and overstate the costs. That is, there is often a need for a non-zero birth rate.[34]

Childfree individuals do not necessarily share a unified political or economic philosophy, and most prominent childfree organizations tend to be social in nature. Childfree social groups first emerged in the 1970s and 1980s, most notable among them the National Alliance for Optional Parenthood and No Kidding! in North America where numerous books have been written about childfree people and where a range of social positions related to childfree interests have developed along with political and social activism in support of these interests. The term "childfree" was used in a July 3, 1972 Time article on the creation of the National Organization for Non-Parents.[35] It was revived in the 1990s when Leslie Lafayette formed a later childfree group, the Childfree Network.[36]

The National Organization for Non-Parents (N.O.N.) was begun in Palo Alto, CA by Ellen Peck and Shirley Radl in 1972. N.O.N. was formed to advance the notion that men and women could choose not to have childrento be childfree. Changing its name to the National Alliance for Optional Parenthood, it continued into the early 1980s both as a support group for those making the decision to be childfree and an advocacy group fighting pronatalism (attitudes/advertising/etc. promoting or glorifying parenthood). According to its bylaws, the purpose of the National Alliance for Optional Parenthood was to educate the public on non-parenthood as a valid lifestyle option, support those who choose not to have children, promote awareness of the overpopulation problem, and assist other groups that advanced the goals of the organization. N.O.N.'s offices were located in Reisterstown, MD; then Baltimore, MD; and, ultimately, in Washington, D.C. N.O.N. designated August 1 as Non-Parents' Day.Just as people with children come from all shades of the political spectrum and temper their beliefs accordingly, so do the childfree. For example, while some childfree people think of government welfare to parents as "lifestyle subsidies," others accept the need to assist such individuals but think that their lifestyle should be equally compensated. Still others accept the need to help out such individuals and also do not ask for subsidies of their own.

There are suggestions of an emergence of political cohesion, for example an Australian Childfree Party (ACFP) proposed in Australia as a childfree political party, promoting the childfree lifestyle as opposed to the family lifestyle.[citation needed] Increasing politicization and media interest has led to the emergence of a second wave of childfree organizations that are openly political in their raisons d'tre, with a number of attempts to mobilize political pressure groups in the U.S. The first organization to emerge was British, known as Kidding Aside. The childfree movement has not had significant political impact.

More recently, websites such as Reddit have created online communities specifically for childfree people. As of October 11, 2016 the Reddit Childfree community boasts of having 108,847 subscribers or 'jet ski owners'.[37] The Reddit Childfree community has created many resources specifically for the Childfree. The Reddit Childfree community has created their own list of nearby Childfree friendly doctors who will perform sterilization procedures without hassle. The Reddit Childfree community also provides links to specialized services such as a Childfree focused dating site YesChildfree, a dating site created by Reddit user 'YesChildfree' in March 2016 to cater to the Childfree community that have no interest in dating a parent or person who would want to become a parent that are often found on mainstream dating websites.[38]

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Voluntary childlessness - Wikipedia

If I had to pick one subject thats emblematic of STFU, Parents, it would probably be mommyjacking. Nothing makes a person want to shatter a windshield more than a good mommyjacking round-up, especially when the examples surround people who are childfree. Weve examined this phenomenon before with posts like Have a Kid! and Wait Til You Have Kids,yet parents continue to bully, patronize, and generally annoy the living shit out of their friends by making weird parenting-related comments at the dumbest and/or worst of times.

This much is clear not just in my inbox, but on newsstands, too. Take a look at the TIME magazine cover storyThe Childfree Life,which inspired a lot of conversation online as well asmy new Mommyish columnand this post. The media will never stop comparing childfree/childless people and parents something I canpersonallyattest to even though the subject is suuuper boring, and its still as irritating as ever (if not more so) when parents condescend to their friends just for not having kids. Whats the point? Cant we all just get along?? Lets check out some more examples of parents mommyjacking their selfish, clueless, and unimpressive non-parent friends:

1. Congratulations, You Dont KnowShit

Its taken a few years, but Zoeys comment might trumpthis mommyjackingin its display of earnest assholishness, which is a real feat. Congratulations on being the yin to Karas yang, Zoey. The world stays balanced because of people like you.

2. Nursejacking

Adriennes cryptic-sounding status update isnt so cryptic to her Facebook friends, who know shes been working toward becoming a nurse for some time now. That said, becoming a nurse cant really compare to becoming a mom, PLUS nurses get paid! What kind of BS is that? Pay nurses for knowing how to treat a stab wound to the trachea, but dont pay moms for doing almost the exact same thing? Thats called discrimination.

3. The Dog/Baby Void

Oh,dog people.When will they ever learn that you can never fill a baby void with dogs. German Shepherds, English Bulldogs, pitbull-Jack Russell-terrier muttsthe list goes on and on. You can try to fit as many as 100 beautiful rescue pups into that baby-shaped void, but NOTHING will fill it like a human baby. Its like trying to fit a St. Bernardinto a Baby Bjorn. Not gonna happen.

4. Sun-kiss That Tan Goodbye

Aww, you got engaged andyourso tan! Really adorable considering you have no ideawhat will happen once kids enter the picture..LOL hope you had fun with THAT. Ask yourself one question: Have you ever met a mother whose tan is even? LOL thats what I thought!! Sucker. Just wait. 🙂

5. Enjoy those days

Im considering staging an Apostrophe Intervention because my eyes are so tired of reading plural words with apostrophes. For the love of god, if youre going to mommyjack, do it with some class. Or, heres a thought: Dont do it at all, because it leads to comment threads like this one.First, Red pops in with the old, Holy shit, NOON???, which I can actually understand from a (non-parent) parents perspective. From there, however, it goes from patronizing doll days to Ugh. Ditto on the kids. which is *kind of*another way of saying, Bitch, please.

Ultimately, sleep is a parent vs. non-parent battle that will never be won. As much as it sucks that parents parents never get to sleep in, its also sucky to begrudge a friend who doesnt have kids for doing so. Dont hate the sleeper, hate the nap. Or the wailing child whos keeping you up. You know what I mean.

Dont forget to check out my new column'How Not To Mommyjack Your Childfriend Friendsover on Mommyish!

(submitted by Anonymous)

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Mommyjacking The Childfree Life - STFU Parents