Thumb-breaking gangsters to sadistic androids: 10 of the best hired goons – The Guardian

Mario the Monster ManThe Spider Woman Strikes Back (1946)

The UK dictionary traces henchman to the Old English hengest (meaning stallion), and the first celluloid incarnation of that term could be this mute ranch-hand played by Rondo Hatton, a journalist who suffered from acromegaly. Hattons imposing performance would later inspire the Lothar character in Disneys The Rocketeer (1991).

A proper heavy should have minimal backstory. When we see drug enforcer Snoop browsing nail guns in season four of The Wire, we know enough about her already. Whether she is kneecapping witnesses or being branded terrifying by horror writer Stephen King, Snoop is a fresh-faced psychopath who you definitely shouldnt ask for ID.

Hell hath no fury like a woman armed with a Chinese meteor hammer. Innocent-looking Gogo is surely the wildest sixth-former to ever grace the screen: the boys from If (1968) would run shivering to their dorms if they saw what she can do to an unwanted suitors testicles. Proof that not all bodyguards need to fill a doorway to be intimidating.

Ah, the golden age of henching, when the streets were rife with costumed master-criminals ready to hire you. Of the many thugs that Batman and Robin biffed and kapowed, it was Penguins underling Octopus with his bald head and dodgy tentacle moves who most closely fitted the henchman staple of unquestioning loyalty to your leader.

Shakespeare: its all tights and prancing, right? Wrong: the RSCs bloody account of the 13th-century sovereign features Angiers hardman Hubert (played by Tom McCall), given orders to terminate heir to throne Arthur. His conniving is proof that jewellery isnt a sign of class (unless youre bouncer-turned-actor Mr T).

At 2.18m (7ft 2in), Richard Kiels metal-toothed killer could throw Roger Moore around like a boomerang. Terrifying in his first appearance, he turned slapstick for 1979s Moonraker, and broke the golden rule: always obey your bosss instruction to throw the good guy out of a space station.

In its 80s heyday, the ruthless Spitting Image depicted the Conservative secretary of state for trade and industry as a goon in a bomber jacket. If you dared disobey Maggie, hed stuff your hand into a mincer. You wouldnt want a nutcase like this patting down the punters. Thank goodness todays cabinet is 100% made up of altruists.

Right-hand man to the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham and a romantic rival to Robin Hood, this arrow-flinging cad is definitely the sort of bloke whod drop his masters name to jump the queue. Given his penchant for leathers, you just know hes smarmy enough to insist that his Kanye West Yeezys count as formal footwear.

This replicant heavy can rip open vault doors, and her implanted emotions emerge as pure sadism particularly when shes coordinating missile strikes while receiving a manicure. How best to deal with her? Fight surveillance with surveillance. Switch on your bodycam and tell her everything she says is being filmed and recorded.

In Louis Mellis and David Scintos 60s-set play, which originally starred Peter Bowles, crime boss Freddie Mays thinks a young thumb-breaker will watch his back. He does, but not before knifing it in this bloodcurdling tale of repressed desires. A good example of why its no good thinking MMA lessons will fix the quiet kid who likes to torture spiders.

Read more here:

Thumb-breaking gangsters to sadistic androids: 10 of the best hired goons - The Guardian