How does it hurt you to accept someone for who they are? Here’s why I’m an ally – IndyStar

Amy McVay Abbott| Indianapolis Star

Indy Pride Parade 2022 sights and sounds

Thousands attend the Indy Pride Parade on Saturday, June 11, 2022, along Mass Ave in Indianapolis.

Mykal McEldowney, Indianapolis Star

My college friend, who would later be the best man atmy wedding,asked me out for a beer just me. I wasnt sure what was up. We usually spent our dollar pitcher nights at Muncie, Indiana'sThe Chug with a group.

He poured me a mug. After a few rounds, my friend blurted out his secret, Im gay, he said. Unsure of how I would react as the most nave of our friends, he chose to tell me alone. I was the last to know.

I started to cry, not because I judged him, but because I knew how the larger world would. I told him I loved him and would always love him. Who he partnered with made no difference to me. I committed to always supporting him.

'Love, freedom, happiness': Business owners speak their truth during LGBTQ Pride Month

He stood boyishly handsome in his gray tuxedo on a beautiful autumn day as I married his dear friend. Decades later, my groom and I are still friends with our Best Man.

So whats the point of this little story? All who are straight and who desire to be allies must start somewhere. I respect that a change in perspective isnt always easy weve been programmed to see the world a certain way from early childhood, if not before. Gender as a dichotomy begins even before a childs birth with pink or blue confetti at a gender-reveal party. The event should be called a sex-reveal event. Science teaches us that gender is on a spectrum.

The reality is that gender is more complicated than sex. Since 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics has encouraged parents to affirm their childs preferred gender over sex at birth. We must be willing to listen to what advances in science tell us, that sexual organs do not always define gender. Sadly, some people will never accept that.

We all want human connection. Love is what drives us, what we seek more than anything. And I passionately believe, having lived into my seventh decade, that love is love, for the lesbian couple who raised twins who are both wildly successful college students. Or my friend who mourns her partner of thirty-plus years, who died of COVID while her family sat in the hospital parking lot, connected by FaceTime. Or the family whose young child knew they were a different gender. The parents and grandparents support and engage this child, walking in Pride events and raising them with encouragement, not judgment. The world may still be cruel, but this child knows many people love them, and thats foundational to the childs growth and development. Frankly, love and acceptance are foundational for all, no matter our age.

How does it hurt you to accept another human being for who they are? Isnt it ironic that many people are against same-sex marriage when heterosexual marriage doesnt have a stellar history? The CDC reports that heterosexuals have a 42% chance of getting a divorce.

'Celebrate and be together': Indy Pride parade returns in person for first year since 2019

So what can allies do?From GoodRx Health, An ally listens to, believes, and amplifies LGBTQ+ voices. Anyone can be an ally. This includes those outside ofandwithin the LGBTQ+ community.

Isnt it about being kind? Its so simple. Treat a person who is LGBTQ+ the same as we treat any other human. The golden rule principle treating others as we would like to be treated is at the core of many religions and creeds throughout history.

How do you want to be treated? Give back what you want to see from others. Use the correct pronoun and name of a trans person, get out to an event if you are able, support organizations that support the gay community, wear a Pride shirt, fly a rainbow flag, and love and encourage the LGBTQpeople in your life. Happy Pride Month!

Amy McVay Abbott is a journalist and author from southern Indiana. A chapter from her latest book, Centennial Farm Family, won the 2022 Elaine Spires Smith Family History Prize from the Indiana Genealogical Society. The book is available where books are sold.

Here is the original post:

How does it hurt you to accept someone for who they are? Here's why I'm an ally - IndyStar