Ted Cruz Calls Obamacare a Democratic Plot to Keep People Alive So They Can Vote – The New Yorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Outraged by the U.S. Supreme Courts decision to preserve Barack Obamas signature legislative achievement, Senator Ted Cruz called the Affordable Care Act a thinly veiled Democratic plot to keep people alive so they can vote.

A long time ago, Democrats figured out that live people were far more likely to vote than dead ones, Cruz charged. Make no mistake: the Affordable Care Act is a calculated scheme to increase the number of live people.

He went on, Democrats will stop at nothing to get people to vote. They will get them ballots. They will get them bottled water. And, yes, if necessary, they will keep them from dying of a prexisting condition. It disgusts me.

Cruz added that, unlike Democrats, Republicans have no intention whatsoever of keeping people alive, and pointed to Texass new constitutional carry gun law as a shining example.

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Ted Cruz Calls Obamacare a Democratic Plot to Keep People Alive So They Can Vote - The New Yorker