We often refer to summer Shabbosim as long Shabbos and winter Shabbosim as short Shabbos, based on the time Shabbos ends. But the truth is, Shabbos is always the same 25 hours every single week, and from my perspective, it is definitely not long enough! It is still only a fraction of our week. Given the potential of Shabbos to impact us on a weekly basis, we may have high expectations of what we want our Shabbosim to look like. Of course, while we may have had certain expectations before the pandemic, our experiences during the pandemic may have given us a different frame of reference for what Shabbos can be in our lives.
How might we frame what a successful Shabbos looks like? Is there a method for how we can approach this? In my own experience, I realized that I do not aspire to have davening to take longer than is necessary. But I also do not want to nap for too long. And I dont want to be at the lunch table until 5:00 p.m. Is any of this blasphemous? Am I too caught up on time? It occurred to me recently that while I had certain disparate expectations of my own of what I want to get out of Shabbos, there is potentially a systematic way of looking at this from the lens of halacha that could help us on a communal level to frame our Shabbosim, which I am calling the Well-Rounded Shabbos.
The Talmud (Pesachim 68b) tells us that half of Shabbos is for Hashem and half is for us. Therefore, a good Shabbos does contain a few different components: tefillah, oneg (i.e., kiddush and meals), Torah study, and napping. While we may be aware of these components in isolation, I began to wonder, how does one balance all of these? How should these different parts of the Shabbos experience interact to ensure that all have their proper place and time?
Lets begin with tefillah. It should be stated from the outset that tefillah should not be a burden. While we are in Hashems home and standing before Hashem, we should seek ways to make it meaningful. With that said, the pandemic raised many conversations about the length of tefillah in shul. There is clearly a large contingency of people who want a more streamlined tefillah. The truth is, this is not a new discussion. Although tefillah is not supposed to be a burden, poskim throughout the ages have argued that this does not mean the length of davening in shul should be indefinite. The Sages instituted only seven blessings in the amidah in an effort to avoid burdening people with lengthy tefillah on the day of rest. While I enjoy singing in tefillah, poskim encourage a balance to ensure tefillah is not too long; in fact, Maharshal writes that even if the community desires it, singing should not be stretched out on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Peri Chadash and R. Yaakov Emden both write in teshuvot that if our Sages instituted only seven blessings in order to eschew long tefillah, then that should be reflected in the amount of singing and Mi Shebeirachs.
But when I discussed these ideas in a shiur recently, someone said, Well, where are people rushing to if they make davening short? To kiddush, to shmooze?
Yes, kiddush and our Shabbos meals are part of our Well-Rounded Shabbos as well. We encounter the verse (Yeshayahu 58:13) vkarata la-Shabbat oneg, which is understood to refer to partaking of food to our delight. The Gemara (Shabbat 118b) says one who delights in Shabbat will be granted the desires of their heart. Kiddush in shul is not just a way to entice people to come to shul but is a fulfillment of the directive to have oneg Shabbat. Likewise, Shabbat meals shared between families are not merely a concession to social needs but rather a true fulfillment of the opportunity of oneg Shabbos. In addition, the opportunity for people to gather both at kiddushim and in each others homes for Shabbos meals contributes to the fabric that holds communities together. I stress that these are not bdieved concessions; they are vital for the vibrancy of our kehillot kedoshot.
Yet, with the great value that Shabbos meals hold, it is appropriate to ensure they come to a close in a timely fashion. The Rama writes that if one regularly naps on Shabbos afternoon, they should not skip it because this, too, is oneg (Orach Chayim 290:1). For those who nap on Shabbos, this opportunity may be part of a Well-Rounded Shabbos. I think it would be worthwhile to set a norm that Birkat Hamazon is said around two to two-and-a-half hours after a meal begins. This does not mean that guests have to leave if everyone is enjoying themselves and wants to stay longer. Yet, having the closure sooner than later will give people the opportunity to go home for their nap when they are ready without having to wait for their hosts to get the hint that some people are about to (or are trying not to) fall asleep at the table!
Still, as praiseworthy as the Shabbos nap is in a Well-Rounded Shabbos, I usually set an alarm for Shabbos afternoon to wake up from my nap (that I still usually sleep through). This may sound ridiculous, but the Mishnah Berurah (290:3) reminds us that our naps should not extend too long, as it is important to learn Torah on Shabbos as well. Indeed, the Talmud Yerushalmi (Shabbat 15:3) tells us that the whole purpose of Shabbos and Yom Tov is for the Jewish people to learn Torah. Rav Eliezer Melamed, author of Peninei Halacha, gives a quantified amount of time one should spend learning: six hours. How does he derive this? He explains that assuming one legitimately has to sleep seven hours every night, that leaves 18 hours to be divided between what we do for Hashem and what we do for ourselves. This leaves nine hours for our own enjoyment and nine hours for Torah/tefillah. If one is in shul for three hours, that would leave six hours of learning. Perhaps, based on average shul schedules in America, maybe it is four hours of tefillah and five hours of learning. Indeed, to make any sort of meaningful progress in what they are reading or learning, one probably needs a few hours. Whether one has a Gemara open or is reading an actual book as part of Rabbi Dovid Bashevkins I Read This Over Shabbos movement on Twitter, spending time engaged in wisdom is a crucial component of the Well-Rounded Shabbos.
When we take these different opportunities together, we see that not only are we fulfilling half for Hashem and half for ourselves, but were also including three major components of mitzvah categories. Torah and tefillah help us develop our Bein Adam La-Makom, while our kiddush/meal times help us develop our Bein Adam La-chaveiro, and our napping (and to some extent, learning/reading) helps us develop our Bein Adam Le-atzmo.
Shabbos is supposed to be relaxing and bnachat, not a day of time pressure. I do not suggest that it is worthwhile to time all of our Shabbos activities and rush from one thing to another. In fact, running is forbidden on Shabbos! Furthermore, it is obviously up to each individual to emphasize the parts of Shabbos they enjoy most.
However, I think it could be helpful to use these halachic perspectives to create a communal framework and language for what Shabbos can look like. We may have already been aware of these individual components, but I hope this perspective can give us a vision of implementing this type of Shabbos experience on a wider scale. With a bit of mindfulness about what we want our own Shabbos to look like and how we can help others create their ideal Shabbos experiences, we can ensure that the Jewish people is having a Well-Rounded Shabbos experience.
Rabbi Judah Kerbel is the rabbi of Queens Jewish Center and a middle school rebbe at Yeshiva Har Torah.
Follow this link:
The Long and Short of a Well-Rounded Shabbos - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com
- Honoring EFRAT: An organization that provides support to parents - The Jerusalem Post - February 18th, 2024 [February 18th, 2024]
- For the Yehudim There Was Light - COLlive - February 18th, 2024 [February 18th, 2024]
- Book Review: Subculture Vulture, by Moshe Kasher - The New York Times - January 29th, 2024 [January 29th, 2024]
- Palestine, the Jews, the Talmud and the Aleppo Codex | Jaime Kardontchik | The Blogs - The Times of Israel - January 29th, 2024 [January 29th, 2024]
- Israel-Hamas War: Yearning for children lost before their time - The Jerusalem Post - January 29th, 2024 [January 29th, 2024]
- Roots, Midrash and Tu B'Shvat | Gershon Hepner | The Blogs - The Times of Israel - January 29th, 2024 [January 29th, 2024]
- Emotional moments as awards are given out to the talmidim of Talmud Torah Kollel Shomrei Hachomos Rockland Daily - Rockland Daily - January 23rd, 2024 [January 23rd, 2024]
- The People's Talmud Presents: RANDOM Brain Teasers - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - January 23rd, 2024 [January 23rd, 2024]
- Why the Jewish Word for Heretic Is Based on Epicurus - Greek Reporter - January 23rd, 2024 [January 23rd, 2024]
- War, Talmud, and agriculture - opinion - The Jerusalem Post - December 28th, 2023 [December 28th, 2023]
- Claims on 'Canaan' by Africans and Arabs in the Talmud - The Times of Israel - December 28th, 2023 [December 28th, 2023]
- Berakhot (tractate) - Wikipedia - January 4th, 2023 [January 4th, 2023]
- Talmud and Midrash | Definition, Books, Examples, & Facts - January 4th, 2023 [January 4th, 2023]
- The William Davidson Talmud The William Davidson Talmud - December 26th, 2022 [December 26th, 2022]
- Switching My Kids to This Jewish Day School from Public School Was a Godsend and Came Just in Time - Kveller.com - December 23rd, 2022 [December 23rd, 2022]
- Humans of Heller High: What nine teens learned on an immersive program in Israel - JTA News - Jewish Telegraphic Agency - December 16th, 2022 [December 16th, 2022]
- Jesus in the Talmud - Wikipedia - November 23rd, 2022 [November 23rd, 2022]
- The Oral Law -Talmud & Mishna - Jewish Virtual Library - October 23rd, 2022 [October 23rd, 2022]
- Creating Humanity and Midrash in the Divine Image - Jewish Exponent - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Help Jewish Federation do good that goes everywhere - Jewish Community Voice - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- On the Turkish-Syrian border, a citys last Jews watch the ending of an epoch - JTA News - Jewish Telegraphic Agency - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Cate Blanchett gives what might be her best performance ever in TR - Cult MTL - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Revisiting The Campus Archives - New Voices - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Opinion | Wood column: Reliever Larry Sherry went from obscurity to fame in a moment - The Daily Advance - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- The Moon Provides an All-Star Example of Sincere Repentance - Torah.org - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Was the fruit of the Tree of Life from which Adam and Eve ate really an apple? J-Wire - J-Wire Jewish Australian News Service - October 19th, 2022 [October 19th, 2022]
- Major raids into Al-Aqsa and the Occupation prevents worshipers from entering - Middle East Monitor - October 17th, 2022 [October 17th, 2022]
- Funny Girl Star Tovah Feldshuh on Sharing the Stage With Lea Michele and What the Talmud Says About Gossip - Variety - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- No-bake 'millionaire' bars are a rich treat for a sweet Simchat Torah J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Jewish donations to support abortion rights groups are booming J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Superminis Remix Of The Phantom Of The Operas Title Song is Out Now - Yahoo Entertainment - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Joey Weisenberg coming to S.F. to help build 'singing communities' J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Islamic Tahrif Began With The Samaritans OpEd - Eurasia Review - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Rosh Hashanah threats show that Jewish students are being targeted - JNS.org - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Freedom to cycle The female Afghan refugees rediscovering life on the bike in Italy - CyclingWeekly - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Rabbi: Lets recommit to one another and get the polio vaccine | Opinion - NJ.com - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- How and when did the first synagogues appear in Ukraine, and why is this an important aspect of Ukrainian history (Pt. 1) - UJE - Ukrainian Jewish... - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- The Facts about Pope John Paul I Novus Ordo Watch - October 11th, 2022 [October 11th, 2022]
- My ApologiesKanye West Isn't What I Told You - The Epoch Times - October 11th, 2022 [October 11th, 2022]
- A new cookbook highlights women of the Talmud - Press Herald - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- The greatest contemporary teacher of Judaism is a van driver in Israel - Religion News Service - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Letter to the Editor: Rabbis do take political stands when morality, ethics and national threats are involved - Summit Daily - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Taking inspiration from the Talmud to feed the needy - Australian Jewish News - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Kenden Alfond Finds Culinary Inspiration from the Talmud - aish.com - Aish.com - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Missouri bagel shop goes viral for effort to feed the needy J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- What Do Some of YU's Torah Leaders Think of the Five Torot? - The Commentator - The Commentator - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Gorbachev was different he had a heart - The Jewish Standard - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Love is a Skeleton Key - aish.com - Aish.com - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- 50 Best Wine Quotes That Will Have You Breaking Out a Bottle Stat! - Parade Magazine - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- We have faced Amaleks like Putin forever, but with morality we can prevail J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Being On The Team - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Twelve more Slovaks awarded Righteous Among the Nations - The Slovak Spectator - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- West Temples Rabbi Lader to retire in June 2023 - Cleveland Jewish News - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- A Texas rabbi is fighting Jewish stereotypes on Chinas TikTok - The Times of Israel - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- I'm a Gamblin' Man: The 17th Century Rabbi who Battled Addiction - aish.com - Aish.com - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Q & A: The Mantle Of Leadership (Part II) - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Anger, Procrastination, and Elul - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- What Is the Talmud? - Christianity.com - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- The Choice: A Novel of Love, Faith, and the Talmud - reviewed by Rabbi Jeffrey Cohen J-Wire - J-Wire Jewish Australian News Service - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- What If It Were 'Zalman'? - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Jewish law symposium to tackle the ethics of cancel culture and redemption - The Jewish Standard - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- What I'm Reading (Aug. 25) | American Council on Science and Health - American Council on Science and Health - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Apples of Our Eyes: Stories of the Unforgettable Teachers Who Illuminated Our Minds and Marked Our Lives - Jewish Journal - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Here Comes the Judge - Jewish Exponent - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Asking the Clergy: Your faith and recreational marijuana - Newsday - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- When Judaism considers the future, it looks to the past - Jewish Community Voice - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- The Judaism And Zionism Of David Sarnoff - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Blessings From Studying The Zera Shimshon - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- You Say it but Do You Believe it? - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Facing a personal reckoning, with a dose of absurdity, on a bus tour of Naziland - Forward - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Ezra Furman and the Tireless, Sacred Work of Being Alive | Interview - The Line of Best Fit - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- At many Bay Area synagogues, the real action is social action J. - The Jewish News of Northern California - August 25th, 2022 [August 25th, 2022]
- Abortion is a religious issue, but not in the way you think - Santa Fe New Mexican - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Jews and Muslims are fasting next week. Let's hold the interfaith activities another time. - Cleveland Jewish News - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- A Pennsylvania candidate for governor cuts ties with Gab, and antisemitism on the site spikes - Forward - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Reading the Book of Psalms in the Twenty-First Century - Jewish Journal - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Rabbi's Caroline's invocation kicking off the Mayoral debate - Islander News.com - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Jewish Perspectives On Termination Of Pregnancy - Los Alamos Daily Post - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Tuesdays primaries offered a glint of hope for Democrats this fall - The Guardian - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]
- Why Are There So Many Jewish Lawyers? - The Jewish Press - JewishPress.com - August 6th, 2022 [August 6th, 2022]