Category Archives: Polygamy

These are excerpts from The Salt Lake Tribunes free Mormon Land newsletter, a weekly highlight reel of developments in and about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Want this newsletter with additional items in your inbox? Subscribe here. You also can support Mormon Land with a donation at Patreon.com/mormonland, where you can access, among other exclusive gifts and content, transcripts from our Mormon Land podcasts.

The story of Mormon founder Joseph Smith appears in Latter-day Saint scripture, official church histories, scholarly biographies, even films.

In May, it will appear in a new graphic novel.

Joseph Smith and the Mormons, from the mind and hand of Noah Van Sciver, is set for release in May 2022.

The critically acclaimed cartoonist, who was raised as a Latter-day Saint, will cover the monumental moments in Smiths life, according to a description on Amazon, including translation of the faiths foundational scripture, the Book of Mormon, anti-Mormon violence, the birth of polygamy, the church leaders pursuit of the presidency, and his imprisonment and ultimate assassination.

With a respectful and historical approach, and strikingly illustrated, the blurb states, this graphic novel is the ultimate book for those curious about the origins of the Mormon faith and the man who started it all.

The Bleeding Cool news site offers an early peek, with illustrations that depict Smith explaining to his loved ones how he fended off attackers and why he cannot show them the gold plates from which he reported translating the Book of Mormon.

You cannot see them ever! the budding prophet proclaims. Ive been warned against it! If any of you should ever look upon this holy record, it would mean doom for you!

(Rick Bowmer, The Associated Press) In this Aug. 4, 2016, file photo, Swig soda shop employee Avery Griffiths poses for a photo with a "dirty soda," in Bountiful, Utah.

Its time to come clean about so-called dirty sodas: Theyre not just a Utah or a Latter-day Saint craving.

While Dr Pepper spiked with vanilla, Coke laced with lime and Pepsi peppered with peppermint certainly proved popular in the Beehive State and with members of the dominant religion, these and other soda blends are turning, and tilting, heads across the nation.

In fact, soda shops are popping up outside the Wests Mormon Belt, The New York Times reports, in South Carolina, Florida, Texas and Oklahoma.

It didnt exactly hurt business among members, however, when Mitt Romney, the nations most famous Latter-day Saint politician, was pictured swigging a Diet Coke during his 2012 presidential run or when the church reaffirmed that pounding a Pepsi, downing a Dew or consuming any kind of caffeinated cola does not violate the faiths Word of Wisdom health code.

That last batch of additions to the churchs General Handbook warns members against using threatening, bullying, degrading, violent, or otherwise abusive language or images online.

It also counsels members to avoid all statements of prejudice toward others.

Read the story.

Sharon Eubank stands as a prominent example of the expanding role of women in the church. Still, some want to see more equity.

The 58-year-old Eubank is neither married nor a mother, yet she serves as first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency and head of Latter-day Saint Charities, the churchs humanitarian arm.

Weve made mistakes in our history, and were still making mistakes, Eubank told The Associated Press, but the foundation is to try and always improve.

Read the story.

(Rick Bowmer | AP) Sharon Eubank, first counselor in the general presidency of the Relief Society, which is made up of all adult women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, poses for a photograph Tuesday, Dec. 7, 2021, in Salt Lake City. Though she isnt the first single or child-free woman to hold a prominent role in the church, Eubanks example is encouraging to other members during a time of growth for womens roles in the faith nearly a decade after a key change for young women in its iconic missionary force. Still, some want to see a faster pace for progress.

Those eager for the Salt Lake Temple to reopen will have to wait and even longer than originally anticipated.

The church announced this week that the four-year renovation of the temple and the makeover of the surrounding square will take at least five years after modifications and additions to the project and scope pushed back the timeline for completion.

Read the story.

Most Latter-day Saints (60%) see no valid religious reasons to refuse a COVID-19 vaccine, a newly released poll shows. Thats a good thing, since the church says members cannot expect their bishops to sign a waiver from the shots.

Indeed, the Salt Lake City-based faith and its top authorities have wholeheartedly supported vaccination from the state.

Read the story.

Two suspects have been arrested in the Dec. 3 shooting of an 18-year-old Latter-day Saint missionary serving in Alabama.

Meanwhile, Michael Fauber of Dayton, Ohio, is improving and is expected to recover from his wounds.

Read the story.

Brigham Youngs grave and family cemetery in downtown Salt Lake City are being vandalized, so the church wants to heighten a fence and undertake other renovations.

But the effort is running into barriers with the citys Historic Landmark Commission. And then there is the issue of newly discovered unmarked graves.

Read the story.

A new monument under construction at Salt Lake Citys This Is the Place Heritage Park aims to recognize the contributions of Black pioneers during the Mormon migration.

There are more stories, more men, more women who sacrificed so much, principal advocate Mauli Junior Bonner said, especially those who had to endure enslavement while being an early pioneer.

Read the story.

Utah Latter-day Saints may rank among the nations most reliably Republican voting blocs, but right now they are distinctly down on Donald Trump.

If the former president ran again, a new poll shows, barely a third (34%) would vote for him in a GOP primary.

Read the story.

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Latest from Mormon Land: A graphic novel about Joseph Smith and the spread of 'dirty' sodas - Salt Lake Tribune

Sister Wives' Meri Brown Admits She's 'Lonely' In Kody Brown Marriage

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Source: @therealmeribrown/Instagram

Dec. 15 2021, Published 12:55 p.m. ET

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Meri Brown reflects on her rocky marriage to hubby Kody Brown, and how the pandemic changed their lives in the sneak peek of the upcoming Sunday, December 19, episode of Sister Wives.

"This is one of the things I like doing, kind of getting away from it all," the 50-year-old reality TV star says while hiking in Flagstaff, Arizona. "We've got COVID going on, I'm running two businesses, we're quarantining from each other," she adds, reported UsWeekly.

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Source: @therealmeribrown/Instagram

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While enjoying her exercise Kody's first wife spills, "As a family we haven't really spent much time together," as she adds, "it's weird." As she turns to a confessional, Meri admits the time away from her family has left her feeling "lonely," before she tearfully declares "I just miss my family."

Kody then chimes in as he notes the pandemic has been rough on his family as a whole, but Meri has struggled the most. "I always saw one of the main benefits about plural marriage is that anybody in the family would never actually suffer true loneliness," he dishes. "The way things have played out for our family, that's not necessarily true. My relationship with Meri is not the type of relationship where Im going to talk to her every day."

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Meri who grew up in polygamy and Kody met in 1989 and got engaged after only a few months. The duo wed in 1990 and later welcomed Janelle Brown in 1993 into their plural marriage followed by Christine Brown in 1994. Meri then agreed to divorce Kody so he could legally marry Robyn Brown in 2014. Christine announced in November she and Kody had called it quits after 20 years.

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Meri, who shares 26-year-old daughter Mariah with Kody, reveals the duo's dynamic has changed. "Kody and I we had a conversation recently, that kind of came down to, 'We're friends.' Which I guess is a good thing," the Becoming Sister Wives author says. "I guess I just have hope for more than that."

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The Lizzie's Heritage Inn owner then notes that her partner of more than 30 years gives her mixed signals, leaving her feeling confused. "Kody has said some things to me more recently that leads me to believe that there's no repairing our relationship. There are days when I get very, very discouraged. Then there are days that I have so much hope."

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The reality TV duo have been at odds ever since her 2015 catfishing scandal. Meri struck up a relationship with an online admirer she believed to be a man, but who turned out to be a woman. Since the affair was made public, the duo have struggled to make their union work.

Sister Wives airs on TLC Sundays at 10 p.m. ET.

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Meri Brown Admits To Feeling 'Lonely' In Her Marriage To Kody Brown As She Declares The 'Sister Wives' Duo Are Just 'Friends' - OK!

Polygamous marriages may not be performed in the United Kingdom, and if a polygamous marriage is performed, the already-married person may be guilty of the crime of bigamy under section 11 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.[1]

Bigamy is a statutory offence in England and Wales. It is committed by a person who, being married to another person, goes through a ceremony capable of producing a valid marriage with a third person. The offence is created by section 57 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861:

Whosoever, being married, shall marry any other person during the life of the former husband or wife, whether the second marriage shall have taken place in England or Ireland or elsewhere, shall be guilty of felony, and being convicted thereof shall be liable to be kept in penal servitude for any term not exceeding seven years ...: Provided, that nothing in this section contained shall extend to any second marriage contracted elsewhere than in England and Ireland by any other than a subject of Her Majesty, or to any person marrying a second time whose husband or wife shall have been continually absent from such person for the space of seven years then last past, and shall not have been known by such person to be living within that time, or shall extend to any person who, at the time of such second marriage, shall have been divorced from the bond of the first marriage, or to any person whose former marriage shall have been declared void by the sentence of any court of competent jurisdiction.

This section replaced section 22 of the Offences against the Person Act 1828 for England and Wales,[2] which replaced section 1 of the Bigamy Act 1603 (1 Jac 1 c 11).[3] This section replaces section 26 of the Act 10 Geo. 4 c. 34 for Northern Ireland.[2]

Subsequent case law has allowed exceptions for cases where the defendant believes on reasonable grounds that their first spouse is dead[4] or that the marriage has been dissolved.[5]

Bigamy is triable either way.[6] A person guilty of bigamy is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding seven years,[7] or on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months, or to a fine not exceeding the prescribed sum, or to both.[8][9]

Relevant cases are:

There have been reports of Muslims practicing polygamy in the UK.[10]

Bigamy was a common law offence[11] in Scotland prior to the passing of the Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014 when it became a statutory offence.[12] It is an offence for a person to enter into a marriage or civil partnership while either party knows that they, or the other party, is married to or in a civil partnership with another person. The offence is punishable with up to 2 years in prison or a fine (or both).[13]

In Northern Ireland, a person guilty of bigamy is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding seven years,[14] or on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding twelve months, or to a fine not exceeding the prescribed sum, or to both.[15]

More:

Polygamy in the United Kingdom - Wikipedia

So, are you legally married, you didnt get divorced? asked one clerk.

Well have to deny that, let me go grab the other supervisor real quick so I can get confirmation but as far as Im aware you cant be married to two people at the same time, said another clerk.

That wasthe exchange that took placeat Yellowstone County Courthouse in Montana last week when a married man applied for a (second) marriage license to wed another woman. After the Supreme Court issued its Obergefell decision last week, making gay marriage legal throughout the country, it was probably inevitable that polygamous groups would begin to challenge state statutes that have declared plural marriage a misdemeanor.

In a piece on the websiteRealClearPolitics, Sean Trendemakes the argumentthat polygamous marriage is unlikely to become acceptable or legal anytime soon. Whereas most Americans know someone who is gay, the same cannot be said for polygamous groups. It is one thing to say that gays, as some sort of abstraction, should not marry; it is another to say that your neighbors kid is stuck living alone. The same simply is not true of polygamists, who tend to live apart from society (not entirely by choice). This probably isnt how we should make moral decisions, but I dont have much doubt that it is how an awful lot of peopledomake these decisions.

But it is the fact that polygamists do tend to live apart that should make us think twice about whether polygamy should be legal as well. Increasingly, it seems that polygamy is simply incompatible with democratic values.

In a piece she wrote for theWall Street Journalin 2011, Rose McDermott, a professor of political science at Brown University,wrote about her researchon polygamy, which is practiced by substantial subcultures in France, Britain, and the U.S., as well as across religious lines in Africa.

According to the information I have helped to collect in the Womanstats database, women in polygynous communities get married younger, have more children, have higher rates of HIV infection than men, sustain more domestic violence, succumb to more female genital mutilation and sex trafficking, and are more likely to die in childbirth. Their life expectancy is also shorter than that of their monogamous sisters. In addition, their children, both boys and girls, are less likely to receive both primary and secondary education.

There are those who might argue that it is precisely because of the illegality of polygamy that these groups are kept from joining mainstream society. But McDermott suggests that another factor is at work:

Polygynist cultures need to create and sustain an underclass of unmarried and undereducated men, since in order to sustain a system where a few men possess all the women, roughly half of boys must leave the community before adulthood. Such societies also spend more money on weapons and display fewer social and political freedoms than do monogamous ones.

When small numbers of men control large numbers of women, the remaining men are likely to be willing to take greater risks and engage in more violence, possibly including terrorism, in order to increase their own wealth and status in hopes of gaining access to women.

For an interesting description of some of these problems in the ghettoized suburbs of Paris, see, for instance, Jane Kramers2004New Yorkerpiece. Along with female genital mutilation, a polygamous structure is fundamental to the structure of these communities, and related to their general sense of lawlessness.

Prosecutors in the U.S. have found it notoriously difficult to police polygamous marriage. After all, if people dont apply for official marriage licenses, its hard to accuse them of being married to more than one person. But because polygamy has so many clear side effectsgirls are typically assigned to a man at an age far below the age of consent, large groups of boys are often expelled from these communities, children are generally kept from receiving any kind of educationit is possible to know when and where polygamy is being practiced.

Whether or not it seems like the next legal step on this slippery slope, polygamy is a much different animal from gay marriage. Letting the men who run these communities have free rein and the stamp of approval from the federal government will only deepen the social problems polygamy causes. And the victims will become more helpless than they already are.

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The Problems with Polygamy | Institute for Family Studies

90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days Season 5 star, Usman Sojaboy Umar broke up with his ex-wife, Baby Girl Lisa Hamme due to arguments regarding his culture and religion, especially the subject of polygamy. Usman, a practicing Muslim, expressed his interest in having multiple wives. Is his new love interest on board? It appears that 50-year-old San Diego native, Kim, is considering the idea of polygamy. Heres what we know so far.

During season 4 of 90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days, Usman made it clear to his then-wife, Lisa, that he wanted to add wives in the future. Even though polygamy is normal and accepted within Usmans culture and religion, Lisa was adamantly against the idea of him adding more wives.

In fact, just Usman talking to his female fans was enough for Baby Girl Lisa to be upset with him. By the time the tell-all rolled around, Lisa and Usman were already talking about divorce. Usman believed that Lisa never respected his culture and his religion, which was part of the reason the two decided to go their own ways.

On the premiere episode of 90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days, Kim met with her friends to discuss her upcoming trip to Tanzania, where she will meet Usman for the first time. She said, I would allow him to marry a second wife and have kids. She tells the cameras, I dont want anymore kids, does Usman want kids? Absolutely. If Usman has multiple wives I feel like its ok. I love him. Its his culture and I respect his culture and his religion so much. I truly mean that.

She explained to her friends that she would be OK with Usman having multiple wives. Kim said, I know it sounds crazy, its a cultural thing, its not like a threesome. She insiste the idead of polygamy didnt bother her. However, Kims friends arent convinced that Kim knows what shes be getting herslef into.

In Before the 90 Days Season 5, Usman invits his new potential girlfriend, shooting his recent music video. This is also where they will meet for the first time. In the clip for Before the 90 Days Season 5, Kim is frustrated with Usmans lack of energy on set. She says, Usman, get your energy up. Usman tells the camera, I dont really know what comes over Kimberly, but I will not stand for it.

In the next clip, Kim and Usman are in bed together for what appears to be a romantic moment. But depite the lingerie and champagne, Usman rejects Kims sexual advances. She asks him why he doesnt want to get intimate with her. In the awkward clip, Usman gets up from the bed and leaves.

Many 90 Day Fianc fans are convinced that Kim is playing along with Usman wanting to have other wives right now, but when things get more serious she will change her mind. Fans can watch more of Kim and Usmans journey on 90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days Season 4 airing Sundays on TLC and discovery+.

RELATED: 90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days Season 5: How Kim Is Completely Different From Baby Girl Lisa

Excerpt from:

'90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days' Season 5: Is Kim Supportive of Usman 'Sojaboy' Umar Having Multiple Wives? - Showbiz Cheat Sheet

The world has changed a lot in the past year, and finding open relationships online is still a popular trend as industries recover. 3joy, a threesome dating app for polygamists, has seen a huge increase in registration.

This press release was orginally distributed by ReleaseWire

New York, NY (ReleaseWire) 12/14/2021 So far, there have been more than 265.8 million confirmed cases of COVID-19 globally, according to Johns Hopkins University. The impact of the pandemic has been tremendous, especially for finding open relationships online. Justin Robert, the founder of the 3joy the best threesome hookup & swinger dating app, explained that since January 2019, 3joy has seen an unprecedented number of users downloads. The number of dates and matches also leaped by nearly 200 percent. As the number of people using 3joy upsurges, the time spent using 3joy increased by nearly 30%. It is distinct that during the pandemic, the feeling of loneliness is so pervasive and intense due to lockdown in various countries and regions that more people want to express their emotional needs in a certain way to achieve some kind of interpersonal equilibrium. Accordingly, using online dating apps to find an open relationship is the perfect outlet.

Before the outbreak, most people were ashamed to sign up for an online dating app to find open relationships, but after the outbreak, under the circumstance of having no options, many people who were previously afraid to use dating apps have to sign up for online hookup apps to make connections with strangers during the lockdown. Simultaneously, with the ubiquitous use of online dating apps, people gradually reduce the shame of online dating apps looking for an open relationship, and more and more people have a more neutral attitude and right cognition of open relationships.

What most people think of swinger and threesome is ignominious and very few people are polygamous or even willing to be. In reality, on the basis of surveys in the United States, between 4 and 5 percent of the population is polygamous, and in addition to that, 20 percent of American adults have been polygamous at some point in their lives. That's almost 70 million people. That is to say, polygamy is grossly underrated on a global scale. By all appearances, polygamy has become a group that cannot be neglected.

According to 3joy, which currently has 1.6 million users registered, only 10 percent of its category. It has become a popular trend to use threesome dating apps to find polygamous partners. As the pandemic continues, 40 percent of users said they would continue to engage in virtual threesome dating even if there were no more lockdowns or public places largely began to reopen. Because most people who are polygamous already benefit from online threesome dating. Likewise, the widespread use of threesome apps during the pandemic has reduced the stigma associated with registering these threesome apps.

In nearly two years, the way people live and form relationships have changed a lot. The rapid growth of online dating apps during the pandemic is also due to people using threesome dating apps being conscious of the value and convenience of finding an open relationship online.

About 3joy3joy is a swinger and non-monogamy dating app that offers like-minded singles and couples who are eager to desire an inclusive threesome hookup platform to explore an adventurous relationship.

For more information on this press release visit: http://www.releasewire.com/press-releases/dates-and-matches-in-3joy-a-threesome-dating-app-for-non-monogamy-surged-200-in-the-last-year-1350377.htm

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Dates and Matches in 3joy a Threesome Dating App for Non-Monogamy Surged 200% in the Last Year - Digital Journal

Sarah Ventre/KJZZ

Colorado City is on the Utah-Arizona border.

Colorado City, Arizona, and Hilldale, Utah, are two towns that border each other in the high deserts of northern Arizona and southern Utah. The area, known as Short Creek, was settled by members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a breakaway sect of the broader LDS Church that continued to practice polygamy after the church banned it.

The community was rife with underaged girls being married to older men. Young men, dubbed the lost boys," were kicked from their homes and shunned from the community so church leaders wouldnt have to compete for young brides. And their leader, Warren Jeffs, created a local government where the church ran the schools, the police and even the banks.

In 2006, Jeffs was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for his role in sexually abusing young girls he claimed were his wives. Since then, the community has become divided between those who remain loyal to Jeffs and those who have not.

Producer Glenn Meehan began visiting the community of Short Creek a decade ago, initially with the aim of making a documentary about the lost boys. But, that changed as he and director Don Argott watched the community change.

The result is the new documentary, Keep Sweet, which is streaming now on Discovery+. The Show spoke with Meehan to learn about the film and where the title Keep Sweet came from.

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'Keep Sweet' documentary looks at the past and future of FLDS community Short Creek - Fronteras: The Changing America Desk

While Raeesah Khan had resigned from the Workers' Party (WP) on Nov 30, she was already contemplating doing so in August, according to WP vice-chair Faisal Manap.

This revelation was made in Faisal's testimony to Parliament's Committee of Privileges that was released on Saturday (Dec 11).

Describing Khan's "mental state" before the Aug 8 meeting, where she first confessed to party leaders about lying in Parliament, Faisal said in his testimony on Thursday: "She did mention to us (WP chief Pritam Singh, chairSylvia Lim and Faisal) that she was contemplating to resign as an MP.

"She felt she was a liability to the party because of the speech about FGC (female genital cutting) and polygamy."

On Aug 3, WP tabled a motion on empowering women. Khan, then an MP at Sengkang GRC, delivered a speech to Parliament which focused on four main areas: sexual violence, FGC, polygamy and the tudung.

It was during the same speech that Khan claimed that she accompanied a victim of sexual assault to a police station andalso alleged that the police mishandled the case.

That proved to be a lie when on Nov 1, Khan admitted to Parliament that she "was not present" at the police station as she had earlier claimed.

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But according to the Committee of Privileges' report, Faisal said that when he attended the Aug 8 meeting, he was under the impression that the discussion would primarily be about the FGC and polygamy issue.

The report added that Faisal, along with Singh and Lim, were "taken aback"by what Khan shared, revealing tothem she was sexually assaulted in Australia as an 18-year-old student.

But they held no anger against her for lying.

Contrasting with what Khan had told the committee, Faisal said that Singh did not indicate then that she should admit her lie to the Committee of Privileges.

The report also noted that Faisal told Khan to put out a Facebook statement later that day about her speech on FGC and polygamy, which had caused unhappiness among the Muslim community.

https://www.facebook.com/asiaonecom/videos/4538726202879525/

chingshijie@asiaone.com

Link:

Raeesah Khan contemplated to resign in August, felt she'd be 'liability to the party': Faisal Manap - AsiaOne

Two months before I married, I had my first period. I still wore a training bra. I was 12 and had never kissed a boy, never fathomed marriage. Repeat after me: I, Habiba, take you, Ali, to be my husband for the duration of 90 days, Ali*, my new husband, said.

Within seconds, I was married. In an Islamic Temporary Marriage, the marriage isnt nulled with a divorce, but rather a specific period is set in our case, 90 days. No witnesses are needed, and unlike traditional Islamic marriages, the man doesnt need to support the woman. But if the girl or woman gets pregnant, the baby isnt considered illegitimate.

After my parents divorced when I was five, I spent the school year in Tucson, Arizona with my Jewish mother, and summers and holidays with my Muslim father in a cult in Texas. The cult leader didnt live with the members but lived an hour away on a hill with his three wives and multiple children. Polygamy is allowable in Islam, and a man can marry up to four wives.

The summer after I completed seventh grade, I flew to my dads as normal but this was to be a different summer to all the others. The leader asked my father if I could live with him at his residence to help care for his four young children. No other person had been asked, so my father quickly agreed, thinking it was a wonderful opportunity for me to be close to the leader.

On the first night, the leaders adopted son Ali snuck into my room and violated me. By the third night, he feared he was behaving un-Islamically, so he married himself to me until the end of August when Id return to my mother in Tucson for eighth grade.

At 15, Ali was already worldly, having lived on three continents. His accent was erudite, tinged with British English. I still played with Barbies.

Although my parents loved me, they were preoccupied with their lives my mother with her boyfriends and career, and my father with his new family and religion. They rarely kissed or hugged me, and I was starved for attention and affection. Ali provided both.

My body began producing dopamine and oxytocin, and I attached quickly. Alis scent turned sweet, and I noticed his chest muscles. I began to feel safe in his embrace.

Ali continued to sneak into my room throughout the summer, and although a few people knew about our marriage, our union was mostly kept secret in the dark of night. Towards the end of the summer, Ali looked serious. Im moving to Pakistan.

I sobbed, How will I survive? Hed been successful in training me to need him.

When my father picked me up at the leaders house in August, I didnt tell him what happened, and when I returned to Tucson, I also didnt tell my mother. I was ashamed and confused. And besides, Ali thought it was a good idea I didnt discuss our relationship with anyone. He taught me he was my wakil, the person in charge of me, who I needed to listen to and follow.

I had spent 90 days disassociating, and after I returned to Tucson, I completely withdrew, desperately needing to protect my horrible secret. I lost interest in school, dropped my group of elementary school friends, and began wearing black head-to-toe.

My relationship with my mother also changed I stopped speaking to her except when necessary. I mostly stopped talking altogether, collapsing in on myself.

But my relationship with Ali continued through letters, arriving in Tucson in blue airmails with stamps in Urdu. My mother probably thought Ali was a boy I met in Texas; a boyfriend, perhaps. She couldve never guessed we were married.

Ali was a skilled writer, and with each letter, I not only fell more in love with him, but I also fell in love with words, the way they were carefully strewn on paper.

Twice, Ali flew to Texas from Karachi. By then, most everyone in my dads religious community knew about our marriage. By then, most of the girls my age and younger had been married off in forced arranged marriages to men much older. My situation didnt seem unusual in comparison.

At 16, I graduated from high school early and moved to Texas to live with my father full-time. Soon, I flew to OHare, where Ali now lived on the South Side of Chicago with his mother and grandparents. However, just as my life began to feel somewhat normal, the leader requested I fly to his new house in England to work for him, again caring for his children.

My relationship with Ali continued through letters, but now, I was the one sending blue airmails. Mine were stamped with Queen Elizabeth. Alis writing diminished as mine blossomed. For weeks, I didnt receive a response. Worried, Id write him, Everything okay?

Ali eventually also moved to England at the leaders request. When he arrived, I begged him, Please tell me whats wrong.

Finally, he responded, I married another woman.

No, I cried. Please divorce her.

I love you both.

We traveled to Spain, staying at the leaders villa. When Ali worked on the leaders yacht, I stayed home ironing his clothes, creating middle creases in his Bermudas, hiding love notes in his pockets. With each puff of steam, I prayed my adoration would seep through his skin, his bones, and into his heart. My obsession with ironing would solve the problem hed realize how much I loved him and divorce the other woman.

Ali didnt arrive at this aha moment. Instead, he temporarily married a topless girl he met on the white sandy beaches of Mallorca.

Several months later, I made the difficult decision to leave England. The night before I flew to Tucson, Ali pleaded, Please stay. Well make it work.

Hold on a minute, I said, walking back into the bedroom. I never imagined parting with what I treasured most. Here. I filled his arms with the letters hed written me. I dont need these anymore. Each envelope had been opened and reopened, emblazoned with my fingerprints.

In the end, I lost the leader, my community. I never got my forever marriage with Ali, but when I gave Ali back his words, I found my own. Soon after, I flew to Egypt and became fluent in Arabic. As a solo woman traveler, I backpacked the Middle East.

Fortunately, I never became pregnant with Ali, and a couple of years after returning to America, I married a man I met at university. We had two sons. I studied languages, completed a Ph.D. in linguistics, and studied creative writing at Columbia University. I ripped apart grammar, analyzed words. I combed through research on cults, child marriage the role language played in my life to control and manipulate.

Love and healing zigzag, squiggle. Throughout the years, Ali randomly contacted me. I love you, hed confess. When I was 42 and newly divorced, he sent me a Facebook message: Come to South Africa. I was heartbroken over the end of my 17-year marriage and still heartbroken over him. I immediately flew to Johannesburg, where he was living.

Ali was married with three children. I learned he also had temporary wives in Indonesia, America, and England. The offer was still on the table: I could marry him and be one of many wives. In the cult, I witnessed womens and childrens lives torn apart because of polygamy. During the trip, I confirmed to myself that I cannot share him or any man.

I left South Africa early and bought a ticket to Australia, where I again backpacked alone.

Now, single, on the cusp of 50, Im an empty nester of two amazing sons, ages 24 and 25. Both of my parents are still alive, thank G-d, and as I did as a child, I continue to balance their polar opposite lifestyle. My father is still a religious zealot. My mother is still a Jewish 1960s liberal feminist.

I dont speak to my parents or anyone much about my trauma I reserve that for my daily writing practice and therapy sessions. Through marriage, kids, and heartbreak, words have been my confidant, my education, and my savior.

In crafting sentences, I cohered my fragmented and juxtaposed identities. I dug myself out of a child marriage and clawed myself out of a cult, transitioning from servant to master of my own life. After a lifetime of men, Im happy to sip cappuccinos and watch Netflix cuddling with my pillow, alone. I found self-love, which is unconditional and everlasting.

Here, I am anchored. Whole. Bright. Sparkling stardust.

*Ali is a pseudonym

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I grew up in a cult and was married at 12 in Texas - The Independent

As a human rights defender, I want to publicly and officially celebrate, and appreciate the U.S. Treasury for its stance in the fight against corruption in Liberia.

Politicians, who collect monies from the government and manipulate the political system, will be deterred. However, my attention has been drawn to the official statement from the U.S. Treasury justifying its reasons for the sanction against Senator Prince Yomie Johnson of Nimba County.

As a Senator, Johnson has been involved in pay-for-play funding with government ministries and organizations for personal enrichment. As part of the scheme, upon receiving funding from the Government of Liberia (GOL), the involved government ministries and organizations launder a portion of the funding for the return to the involved participants. The pay-for-play funding scheme involves millions of U.S. dollars. Johnson has also offered the sale of votes in multiple Liberian elections in exchange for money."

These are undisputed facts, because the senator is noted for doing exactly what the U.S. Treasury mentioned, but is he the only person that does that during general and presidential elections in Liberia? I say a resounding no! We must be completely honest and clear in taking action against those who have looted state resources and used them for their personal gains.

Since I am a rights activist, I will feel incredibly guilty celebrating the sanction of Senator Johnson, knowing he is not alone in this syndicate, yet the Treasury has not gone as far as to catch the true perpetrators of the political polygamy. In this regard, I would suggest that this sanction on Senator Johnson goes beyond political targets since the very statement mentions other ministers who facilitate the act. In Liberia, it is a crime to bribe, and it is a crime to receive a bribe. So, those who the U.S. Treasury unclaimed often provide money to Senator Johnson to carry on the operations should also be sanctioned to reflect a collective fight against corruption in Liberia.

The U.S. Treasury mentioned that as part of the scheme, some government ministries provide Senator Johnson funding to carry on said operations in return for votes. It is a mystery as to why the U.S. Treasury is not also considering sanctions against the heads of those ministries and agencies as a means of dissuading public officials from dishing out millions of dollars to individuals to rally the votes for them at the expense of the poor, and suffering Liberians. We encourage the U.S. Treasury to go beyond sanctioning legislators, and include ALL those involved in government, because corruption such as this does not only occur at the National Legislature.

Several sitting senators endorsed Joseph Nuyma Boakai's presidential bid in 2017, but it was not a free vote. Cabinet ministers who presided over the Unity Party government paid those 19 senators a large amount to campaign for their presidential candidate, Amb. Joseph Nyman Boakai. This also justifies the same reasons for sanctioning Senator Prince Johnson of Nimba County, but why are these people (cabinet ministers) not held accountable?

Also, I do not see any clear-cut penalties or restrictions involved in the sanction against Senator Johnson. The U.S. Treasury sanctioned Senator Varney Sherman in the past, ordered the freezing of his account and restricted his ability to obtain a visa to the United States, as well as requesting the public not to do business with his law firm, Sherman and Sherman Law Firm. That action has crippled him economically, and politically.

However, what are the specifics of Senator Johnson's sanction? That needs to be clarified, because it might look like a political ploy to prevent the senator from supporting the candidate of his choice during the 2023 general and presidential elections in an effort to create a level playing field in Nimba. It's a well-known fact that Sen. Johnson has contributed to Nimba County's election victories since 2005.

My role as a critical thinker and social activist would be enhanced if this action went beyond, and did not target someone inside the National Legislature, especially since corruption has been entrenched in the three branches of government for decades. Is there a political interests the U.S. wants in 2023, and they see Sen. Johnson as a threat to the ascendency of that individual, and that the only way to do so, is to give RED CARD to the political striker of Nimba, Sen. Johnson? This referee should give similar red cards to other players that committed the same infringement. It's obvious that Senator Johnson will decide who wins Nimba County come 2023.

Judging from his tricks, this sanction has increased his political base, because he now has reasons to cajole his people and indict individuals wanting to go for re-election in Nimba and those running for the presidency of being responsible for the sanction against him. The people of Nimba will fall for this, and I am sorry for those running for the presidency, and going for re-election. They will have more to explain to the people of Nimba on why they should give them their votes should Senator Johnson amplifies this.

Opposition leaders have also pledged supports to political interests during past elections and demanded huge sums of money to rally votes for them. No action has been taken in that regard. Corruption cannot be fought alone, since the opposition (broken ones), as well as those in the three branches of government, are always involved in this scheme. Without an inclusive punishment for those involved in this scheme, it will definitely undermine the collective fight against corruption in Liberia.

About the author: Vandalark Patricks is a graduate of the Harvard Kennedy School of Governance

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Putting the truth where it belongs: My take on Senator PYJ's Sanction - Liberian Daily Observer