‘I stole from my family and my job to fund my gambling addiction which started at the arcades when I was 6’ – My London

Posted: April 6, 2022 at 9:41 pm

A London man has described how visiting the local arcades as a child triggered a 30-year gambling habit which lead him down a path of debt, destruction and loneliness. Kevan Miley, 46, from Beckenham, said his gambling addiction consumed his life such that he his only options were "homelessness, prison or suicide".

Kevan has now spoken out about the dangers of gambling addiction after his habit "consumed every waking thought ", damaging his relationships and ability to hold down a full-time job. Kevan told MyLondon: "It all started at age 6 or 7. I would pop into the local arcades son a Sunday with my grandad. It was the lights and music that just caught my attention very early and I couldn't wait to go back.

"A few years later, I got a job doing a paper round. I ended up spending all my wages from customers down the pub. By age 14, I would spend my money on horse race betting, football, any bets I could get my hands on. I started stealing money from my family which was causing friction in the house. My mum believed my lies and sob stories by my stepdad was concerned about where all the money was going. "

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When he entered his 20s, even when Kevan got fired from supermarket jobs for stealing money from the tills, he still didn't believe he had a problem. He said: "I couldn't hold down a job for more than six months because I was committing fraud. I would disappear and go to the bookies. I would do anything to get a bet on. My friends drifted away and every girlfriend I had broke down as I was more obsessed with gambling than anything else. I would bet every single day, day or night.

"It consumed my whole life. I didn't even make any money because I would I would just spend it again. But it didn't seem to be a great issue at the time because I thought I'm young and I'll get plenty of opportunities in my life. I just didn't know how to stop. I just thought that was how my life was. The compulsion to gamble was stronger than anything else. "

Kevan said he had a very strong relationship with his Mum who "always stuck by and forgave" him. Her tragic death in December 2017 was an event that promoted Kevan to finally seek help after 30 years of battling the gambling addiction. He said: "It was only after my Mum died that I sought help. It got to the point where it was homelessness, prison, or suicide, Any none of these are very appealing. My head couldn't take it much longer."

Gamblers are six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts or try to take their own life, according to research commissioned by GambleAware. No one knows exactly how many deaths are related to gambling each year; but research indicates that there are between 250 and 650 gambling related suicides every year in the UK- equivalent to one every working day.

But when Kevan took the first step and Googled 'rehab for gambling addicts in the UK', he claims the first search result was actually a gambling organisation, which he said exemplifies how prolific the industry can be. Nonetheless, Kevan persisted and sought help from gambling addiction charity Gordon Moody - who supported him through a 14-week Cognitive Behavioural Therapy treatment - in an attempt to change his thought processes. Kevan has now been gambling free for four years and works as a residential support worker at the organisation that supported him.

He said: "Gambling isn't an financial illness, it's an emotional one. It was like a switch, realising that gambling is not the solution to my problems. Where it started, at the arcades, it was about the money. I wanted an easier life. But it became worse. I just buried my head in the sand. As soon as I realised I can have a decent life the right way rather than expecting things to fall into my lap, I could rebuild my life."

Looking back on the last 30 years and on the struggle of other gambling addicts he sees at Gordon Moody, he says gambling has become too normalised and there is a slippery slope from casual punts to problem gambling.

He added: "Everywhere you look there's gambling advertisements. There are free bets and it's dangerous for people susceptible to addiction. There has to be look at the sponsorship in football and the normalisation of it for children. The young people who see it every time they go to or watch football. there has to be an awareness about the damage it cause cause. You can gamble, but just be aware".

It comes as the government pledged to review gambling laws in its 2019 general election manifesto and a white paper was initially expected before the end of 2020, but, due, in part, to a ministerial reshuffle, it has been repeatedly delayed and is now expected in May 2022.

Ministers have been urged to ignore powerful forces trying to thwart gambling reforms, pegged as being "similar to when changes were made to the tobacco industry".

Kevan Mailey supports GambleAwares National Gambling Treatment Service campaign. Is gambling always on your mind? Experts are there to help you. For free and confidential advice: Begambleaware.org/ngts or Call 0808 8020 133.

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Want to get in touch? Email lucy.williamson@reachplc.com

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'I stole from my family and my job to fund my gambling addiction which started at the arcades when I was 6' - My London

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