Monthly Archives: March 2020

Growing up in a polygamist community, Shirlee Draper heard stories about her fathers childhood how he was pulled out from under his bed in a government raid and taken from his parents.

I grew up with intense fear of outsiders, Draper said. We called people who drove into town that were not part of our community kidnappers. We knew that was a fate we could suffer as our parents had suffered.

Draper was a member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS) a polygamist sect led by Warren Jeffs, who is now in prison for two felony counts of child sexual assault. But it wasnt until Draper decided to leave that she realized how she had been trapped.

I saw firsthand how the leaders were able to gain control because of the fear of law enforcement, she said. In Utah, polygamy is a felony, and it took Draper six years to move out. I had no way to get help. Everywhere I went, I was visually identifiable as a felon, and I was greeted with hostility.

Later, when her mother tried to leave the community and apply for a drivers license, Draper said she was still wearing her FLDS clothing a collared, ankle-length dress with puffed sleeves. A clerk an employee of the state of Utah denied her a drivers license and told her to her face, we dont want you here, Draper said. As a result, my mom went back to Colorado City, and she died because she could not access the medical care that she needed.

Draper is now the director of operations for Cherish Families, an organization serving people affected by polygamy. What weve done is weve legislated prejudicial treatment to a second-class citizenry, she said. Lets not create populations and communities that are vulnerable to that kind of exploitation and abuse. Weve done it to people of color, weve done it to sex workers, we do it to undocumented immigrants. We decide theyre not worthy of living in society, and so we ostracize them, which practically guarantees that they will be exploited, that they will be harmed.

Draper supports a law that would effectively decriminalize polygamy for consenting adults in Utah. State lawmakers have approved a bill that would reduce the penalties for plural marriage from a felony to an infraction. It still needs the governors signature to become law. The bills sponsor, senator Deidre Henderson, said the fear of government prosecution has created an environment that enables abuse.

Todays prohibition on polygamy has created a shadow society in which the vulnerable make easy prey, Henderson said. Because of the very real fear of imprisonment, losing employment, not being treated fairly, and having their children taken into state custody, we now have an environment where crime often goes unreported, victims are silenced, and perpetrators are empowered, she said.

Under the bill, polygamy is still considered a felony if the person also commits other felony offenses including criminal homicide, kidnapping, trafficking, smuggling, sexual offenses or child abuse. This bill strikes a balance between giving certainty to otherwise law-abiding polygamists that they dont have to fear prosecution, imprisonment, or having their children removed simply because they live a polygamous lifestyle, while also holding those who commit serious crimes accountable for their actions, Henderson said.

Utah has had some of the most severe laws on polygamy in the nation. It also has the greatest number of people living in plural marriages estimated to be in the thousands, though its impossible to get precise numbers because many live in hiding.

Utahs laws governing polygamy can be traced back to its unique history. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as Mormons) once practiced polygamy as part of their religion, and fled to the Utah territory when they encountered persecution. But in order to become a state, the federal government required Utah to write into its constitution that polygamous or plural marriages are forever prohibited.

Since the state made polygamy a felony in 1935, polygamous families have scattered and formed communities in hiding, some as part of religious groups, and some independent.

Brenda Nicholson is a former member of the same FLDS sect as Shirlee Draper, but she opposes the move to decriminalize polygamy. She believes its not fear of prosecution that isolates people, its the control tactics of polygamous leaders themselves.

They tell you dont trust anything that doesnt come from the church, Nicholson said. Men had authority from God. They supposedly talked with and for God, and so whatever the men said, that was it. She said people who reported crimes to outside authorities could be expelled, punished, or separated from family members.

Nicholson was afraid of losing her children, not because of the government, but because of these male leaders. They had gone through a process of deciding who was worthy and who was not worthy. Three of my children had been judged worthy, and I and my husband and our other children were not worthy. So they were going to take half my children and give them to a more worthy family, Nicholson said. There was no way I was going to let anybody take my children, and so we left.

Nicholson believes more government intervention is needed, not less. I dont believe that Utah really has the intention of truly prosecuting the crimes that are going on. Theyve had evidence, they dont seem to care. Nicholson said. To be told what happened to you wasnt a crime is really hurtful. I know there are all these laws around it that apply human trafficking is illegal, statutory rape, forced marriage, child labor, physical abuse, sexual abuse, fraud, all of those things are illegal they are very much integrated into religious polygamy. People will say we just need to prosecute these other crimes, and I agree, but the problem is they wont, and they arent.

Utah hasnt prosecuted anyone for polygamy in almost two decades, instead focusing on crimes such as child sexual assault, domestic abuse, tax and welfare fraud. The state attorney generals office has a written policy of not prosecuting polygamists unless another crime has occurred. County attorneys have adopted similar policies. Some have said the law is unenforceable and possibly unconstitutional.

Joe Darger, an independent polygamist, says court rulings on gay marriage and private homosexual activity have bolstered the case for decriminalization.

So long as youre not hurting somebody, how do you outlaw behavior between consenting adults? The difference is, polygamists arent trying to get legal recognition, Darger said. Its really just freedom to do what you want as a consenting adult. He hopes the bill, which applies to all genders, will help change societal attitudes, and separate legitimate criminals from law-abiding polygamists.

If you want to end the narrative that there are abuses in polygamous communities, you've got to take them out of the shadows

If you want to end the narrative that there are abuses in polygamous communities, youve got to take them out of the shadows, Darger said. The majority of them are innocent, faithful and civic-minded families. Marginalizing them as committing felonious behavior allows the stereotypes to exist; that polygamy equals abuse. Those kinds of stereotypes exist because no one dares speak up and say anything different, he said. The law gives people license for bigotry.

Opponents of the bill have questioned whether women raised in isolated, religious, groups can really be informed, consenting adults, but Shirlee Draper finds this insulting.

Nobody would dare infantilize women the way they do women who opt into polygamy, Draper said. From my perspective, the most feminist thing we can do is give women the opportunity to choose who they love and with whom they live and thats literally all this bill is doing. For my money, the more options women have, the better access they have to education, to healthcare, the better choices theyre going to make for themselves, she said. But as long as we infantilize them, and tell them what they can do and what they cant do, we remove choices from them as much as they say the polygamists are doing.

Anne Wilde is the author of Voices in Harmony, a compilation of womens experiences in plural marriage. At 84 years old, shes worked for years to educate people about why she and others choose to live in polygamy.

I have met so many wonderful polygamist families that have no business being labeled as felons, Wilde said. Its a shadow over the family because they know and theyve had to teach their children that theyre living that felonious lifestyle, she said. This kind of removes that shadow, but it isnt going to change the opinion of the communities overnight.

I still believe that polygamy is oppressive to women, said Mormon feminist Lindsay Hansen Park, but she supports the bill. We have 100 years of apathy from our state government and law enforcement to prosecute this. I found that its nearly impossible to be able to police how relationships work and what a family looks like. We need to figure out a better way to get justice for victims who have grown up in isolated, fundamentalist groups than attacking family structures, she said.

Park is host of the podcast Year of Polygamy, and after talking with victims and advocates, she believes this bill removes barriers for people seeking help. But its not an easy fix-all, she said. It doesnt bring justice to a lot of victims who leave these groups, and dont have any retribution for the things that they went through.

Im convinced that polygamy is a symptom of the problem, but its not the problem itself, Park said. The problem is patriarchal hierarchy with religious penalties. That takes a lot more to dismantle than a piece of legislation.

Read more:

Polygamy is about to be decriminalised in Utah. Is it good news for women? - The Guardian

For many who knew him during his lifetime, the name Acentus Akuku Danger is synonymous to polygamy.

Call him the grandmaster of seduction if you must because he was Kenyas most prominent polygamist and is reported to have married more than 100 women in his lifetime and fathered over 200 children.

The rise of Danger

Born Acentus Ogwella Akuku, he married his first wife in 1939. At the age of 22, he had married five wives and by the time he was 35, he was on his 45th wife.

His love for polygamy and women earned him the nickname Danger from his peers who believed that his every move was made to attract women.

Im called Danger because I overshadowed many men when it came to women. I was very handsome. I dressed well and I knew how to charm women with sweet talk. No woman could decline my advances. I was a magnet, Akuku once toldThe Standard.

Arguably one of the worlds best-known polygamists, he married his last wife in 1992 when he was 79.The woman was then only 18.

His love for polygamy was no longer a family thing but became an industry as he had so many children in his family that he established two elementary schools solely to educate his children, as well as a church for his growing family to attend.

Akuku The Disciplinarian

Despite his large family, he was reputed to be adisciplinarian who ruled his large family with an iron fist. He knew all the children by name and made a roster on when to spend on which house.

In past interviews, Akuku told local journalists he was responsible for naming all of his children, as way to bond with them.

I lived a lavish lifestyle. I was always ready to spend money on women.

I divorced women who misbehaved, he once said.

Akuku grouped his families in clustersspreading across Ndhiwa, Homa Bay and Migori. His main homestead or State House is however in Rachuodho.

As a rule, one family cannot claim the property in another cluster.

In a chat with Daily Nation, one of Akukus wives,Damaris Awiti recalled her time with him.

She had gone to visit her sisterPriscah Obumba who had just delivered a child. Priscah was the ninth wife but Damaris began to envy her sister for her catch and didnt waste time in accepting Akukus proposal when he asked to marry her as well.

He was a tall and very handsome man. The tone of his voice was very soothing. I found him irresistible. Furthermore, he had enough wealth, which was every womans dream at the time, Damaris told Daily Nation.

On how the household was run, Damaris said:

He was a very caring man who would make you feel like the luckiest woman on earth. I loved him very much, and he, too, loved us, recalls Damaris.

When I joined the family, I was taught how to live and what roles I would play in the home,

One wife, for example, would be assigned the duty of cooking for our husband for a given period. Another would iron his clothes and so on, explains Damaris. That way, we avoided chaos.

Wives without special duties, Damaris said, would accompany the other family members to the farm, where they worked until evening. After farming, Damaris said every woman would go back to her house with her children and cook for them. Akuku would spend the evening with the wife whose responsibility was to cook for him during that period.

Mzee did not like lazy, proud and arrogant women. He would warn a woman over a misdemeanour and, if she repeated the same mistake, chase her away. All her children sired by Akuku would remain in the family.

When a woman had been divorced, says Damaris, Akuku would decide which one of his many wives would take care of the children of the expelled wife.

Rise of an Empire?

Many attributed his large family to the fact he was very rich; he owned a fleet of taxis, and most of these cars were driven by his sons.

In one street trading centre you will see a general store run by one of his sons and a tailors run by a daughter, aBBCreport in 2000 said.

Aoro Chuodho market is literally Akukus empire. Half of the shops and residential buildings are his and his family members. Most of the buildings have names like Akuku Danger Plaza, Akuku Tailoring shop, Akuku Shop, P Akuku Complex Akuku This and Akuku That.

Special Diet

For those wondering where he got the energy to run his household, Akuku himself admitted he never forgot to cater to his own health as he followed a strict diet.

I avoid too much fat and salt and it helped me to escape diseases, he said. I eat at the right time and I just dont eat anything. I am served traditional food that is well prepared. I always eat a fruit after meals.

Towards the end of his life,Akuku started charging fees for media interviews. Journalists and tourists who trooped to his main home in Ndhiwa District had to pay fees.

Akuku Goes Home

He died in October 2010 at the age of 92 and reportssaid he outlived 12 of his wives.

Akuku collapsed at one of his homes in Ndhiwa and died on arrival at the Nyanza Provincial Hospital at 2 am. He was suffering from diabetes.

The family spokesman, Mr Tom Akuku, however, said only 40 of his fathers many marriages were recognised by the Luo customary laws. He said that out of the 40 wives, only 22 were still alive.

Mzee sired 210 children104 daughters and 106 sons, some of whom have since died, Tom Akukusaidat the time of Akukus death.

But His Legacy Lives On

It is reported that Akuku held regular night meetings with his family. This tradition did not end with his death. His family still gets together at State Houseto address any problems and discuss matters affecting them.

They have a common kitty, where all income is collected and distributed. Most of the funds are for school-going children and Akukus orphans, a family spokesman said.

Grandson Nickson Mwanzo says the Akuku clan is using Facebook to bond with each other.The grandchildren are setting up the Akuku Danger Family Facebook page in honour of their grandfather.

We are so many that it is hard for us to meet in one gathering, so we set up a Facebook page to track Akukus lineage, says Mwanzo.

To his surprise, they got responses from all over the world.

His sons and grandchildren are well educated and work in the civil service and the private sector.

He has been our advisor and guardian, said Dorcas Matunga, the Homa Bay County Council Chairperson and one of the late Akukus daughters-in-law.

Following his death, there have been comparisons between Akuku andother successful polygamists from the African continent. Names like eSwatinis King Mswati III, who has about 14 wives and 23 children, have come up. South Africas former President Jacob Zuma is also noted to have five wives and 20 children.

But perhaps the one who comes close to Akuku isAbumbi II, the 11th king of the Bafut kingdom in north-west Cameroon.

The king has 100 wives and 500 children. The only exception is that he inherited 72 wives from his father, King Achirimbi II, who died in 1968. With 28 wives already, King Abumbi ended up with 100 queens and 500 children.

However, those who knew Akuku agree that if ever there would be an award for a successful polygamist, Akuku would get the gold.

As Kenyans often say of a departed fellow, Danger has left a gap that will be difficult to fill because many men have failed the test of seduction, leave alone polygamy.

Read the original:

Asentus Akuku 'Danger': The Polygamist With 130 Wives And Over 200 Children - Guardian

Musician and feminist Simphiwe Dana has issued a public apology over hurtful and insulting comments she leveled against popular polygamist and Mnakwethu host, Musa Mseleku, when she disagreed strongly with the show's take on polygamy.

The apology came early on Tuesday after Musa demanded that Simphiwe personally apologise to him for the insults. Simphiwe made references about the possible size of Musa's manhood, and also accused him of having an obsession with humiliating women.

"I have watched a few episodes of Mnakwethu in disbelief over the past few weeks. As a feminist, the emotional abuse and humiliation of women on the show really hurt and angered me greatly. As a result, I personalised that anger and took it out on Musa Mseleku.

"I unreservedly apologise for this. For any hurt I have caused him, I am truly sorry - and I believe there is another, less harmful way from all parties affected, that this conversation can be had," read the statement.

Simphiwe had joined the increasing number of Mnakwethu viewers who have slammed the show and the unsettling pattern of male participants who seemingly distort traditions around polygamy to suit their personal desires.

"Is Mnakwethu the African tradition hill yall are willing to die on? I say yall because it could never be me. Women being humiliated like this could never have my stamp of approval. I cant even believe its being flighted. Surely we have rights as women," Simphiwe tweeted previously.

Read more:

Simphiwe Dana apologises to Musa Mseleku for 'insulting comments and Mnakwethu hate' - TimesLIVE

Sister Wives fans see a bunch of women at odds with each other this season. They also see the downside of polygamy as Kody wants a giant home for all of them. It looks like even Robyns in trouble these days. None of them agree over the big home he wants, and Kody seems to blame Meri for all his woes. Fans grow weary of the never-ending story, and they grow irritated that Meris always the one Kody blames. They didnt move into the big home yet, so where do they live?

Kody doesnt love Meri anymore. Okay, some fans think, enough. Meri just get outta there and go your way. But she resolutely sticks with being the bad person in Kodys life. And, fans know the other wives really dont like her very much. Kody seems to encourage the division between his wives, In fact, he yelled at Robyn, telling her not to stick up for Meri.

Sister Wives fans heard that Kody now regrets his polygamous lifestyle, TV Shows Ace reported. After complaining about Meri and her role in dividing the wives, Kody said he doesnt like it when the wives spend time together. That seems a bit odd seeing he wants them all under one roof. In a camera interview, he said, Im struggling with plural marriage and Im struggling with my wives and Im struggling with their conflict.

During the last year or so, various outlets kept track of the different wives. Robyn and Kody bought a mansion, and he seems to live there with Meris usurper as his first wife. Meanwhile, Monsters and Critics remind their readers that Christine also lives in her own home, a three-bed, three-bath home. Meanwhile, after Meri left her original rental in Flagstaff and returned briefly to Las Vegas, she returned and lives in a big home that may or may not be a rental.

Its interesting seeing all these properties on top of the large payment Kody made for the big piece of land at Coyote pass. According to Kody on the Sister Wives show, their finances seem in a very poor position. Fans seem less than impressed with Kody and his treatment of Meri this season. Loads of comments about her pushed off into the wings, and the way Kody talks to her is getting on their nerves.

On Twitter, the subject of the single home annoys some fans. But they also hate the idea of Kody being so openly aggressive with Meri. Heres what some of them said about it:

Meri deserves a better husband than this sad sack #sisterwives pic.twitter.com/4gLcsiCd9S

Tony Bahama (@Tony_Bahama) March 2, 2020

What do you think about all this drama between the wives and Kody Brown over where they actually live or plan on living? Do you think its all Meris fault they seem so divided? Sound off your thoughts in the comments below.

Remember to check back with TV Shows Ace often for more news about TLCs Sister Wives.

Woryn is a writer who started a small book publishing company. She wrote three books, one of them published by Domhan. Woryn also writes as Jane Flowers for The Destination Seeker and Blasting News.

Read more:

'Sister Wives': Kody Brown Blames Meri Over Big House Dissent - Where Do They Live At The Moment? - TV Shows Ace