My son, Robert, passed away in January 2017. He died of an accidental overdose of opioids. For me and my family, the last five years have been filled with minutes, hours, and days of tremendous sadness with grief gripping every ounce of us. How can we use our horrific loss and heartbreak? We can wield it in anger and bitterness, or we can use it to support life-giving solutions.
Recently I recalled some of my thoughts from the night of Roberts death. I thought of all the moms who lost their sons and daughters in war. Someone had appeared at their doorstep with the horrific life-altering news that their precious child had died in battle. The one held most dear to their heart had passed from this world. I remember thinking they died for a cause.
Our present-day battle is the War on Drugs, where we are using our criminal justice system to handle a health crisis. For the loved ones we lost in its collateral damage, bringing an end to it is perhaps the best way to honor them.
I can't help but wonder what our lost loved ones would say if they were able to speak. Would their message be for more jailing to heal the problem? Would their message be for long sentences? Or would it be listening to the stories of people using drugs and in addiction?
Would our loved ones want more and more punitive reactions? Or would they want us to look for the best way to keep people in the struggle alive and functioning?
What would those who have died want for other people using drugs who are still here?
Perhaps they would challenge us to sit in on an open AA meeting or any support group, coming face to face with people who are in the struggle. Those who are walking the walk. The people in these groups are real people exposing their thoughts and fears. Each one can share and is understood. Being able to totally relate gives strength and courage.
I pray those we have lost have not died in vain. And their legacy collectively can be for more understanding and compassion and less shame. Maybe they will be known in years to come as trailblazers in the fight against the War on Drugs. And their lives will be viewed as a sacrifice to upend the old way of using the criminal justice system to tackle our drug problems. Maybe this is part of the battle. Maybe our loved ones have died for a cause. I feel that would be the most amazing blessing that could develop from this tragedy that is being played out before us.
Will apathy progress us? Will turning a blind eye advance solutions? Will the same old path of punishment lead us to a better place? It hasn't yet. How can we fight for the betterment of those still on earth, those still enveloped in the struggle? I think I know what our loved ones would say. Let's give them a voice.
Lee Malouf is an advocate for health-centered responses to drug use. She can be reached at missyazoo@aol.com
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OPINION: Honor our lost loved ones by ending the war on drugs - HubcitySPOKES.com
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