Category Archives: Polygamy

Paedon Brownhas spent the last few weeks cluingSister Wivesfans into life inside the Brown family. The more he talks, the more honest he gets about growing up inside polygamy. Recently, the reality TV star suggested his life and his siblings lives would have been pretty bleak withoutTLCs cameras.

Sister Wivespremiered on TLC in 2010. Season 1 focused on the Brown family as they added a fourth wife to the family after spending years as a plural unit with three wives. The Brown family attempted to come across as happy and united in the first few seasons of the show, despite some growing pains.

In more recent years, that has changed. Kody Brown no longer advocates for polygamy. Two of his marriages have completely dissolved, and one other appears to be rocky. With a 17th season on the horizon,Sister Wivesfans are waiting for more drama to unfold on the small-screen. Until then, Paedon Brown, the son of Kody andChristine Brown, is sharing some family insight.

Paedon Brown started his social media journey by sharing basic information about his famous family. The more he talks, the more personal information hes releasing. In a particularly honest moment, Paedon revealed that hed likely be in a polygamist relationship and miserable if TLC hadnt helped the family grow and change.

According toThe Ashley Reality Roundup, Paedon said he knows exactly how his life would have turned out if TLC hadnt picked up the familys show. In a TikTok Live event, he shared that his family likely would have never left Lehi, Utah. He went on to predict they wouldnt have left the Apostolic United Brethren, either. Most importantly, he said, they wouldnt have expanded their horizons ifSister Wiveshad never happened.

Paedon said he believes he and some of his siblings would have been involved in polygamist marriages if it werent for the show. He explained that the show gave the family the chance to experience life outside of the insular religious circle they were once a part of. So far, none of the Brown kids have shown an interest in plural marriage.

Sister Wivesfans think Robyn Browns childrenare the most likely to be interested in polygamy if any of the kids are. Dayton Brown, Breanna Brown, and Aurora Brown have not spoken publicly about their romantic interests.

Paedon doesnt think hes the only one who would have faced significant hardships if the network hadnt picked up the show. He revealed that remaining in the church would have been terrible for some of his siblings.

In the TikTok event, Paedon was very specific about how the church would have reacted to his sibling,Mariah Brown. Paedon said the church would have shunned Mariah for their relationship with Audrey Kriss. The same is likely true for Gwendlyn Brown. Gwen identifies as bisexual.

Both Gwen and Mariah have had public scuffles with Paedon in recent years. Audrey, Mariahs partner, was also involved ina public spatwith Paedon via Instagram. Paedon and some of his siblings appear to have extremely different beliefs and appear to be largely estranged.

RELATED:Sister Wives: Paedon Brown Gives His Take on Meri Browns Marriage

Read more from the original source:

'Sister Wives' Star, Paedon Brown, Says Life Would Have Been Bleak Without the TLC Series - Showbiz Cheat Sheet

Remember the YouTube jodi who create informative videos on buzzing topics? Yes, Abhi and Niyu! Recently, they took to Twitter and asked netizens whether they should start their own version of Satyamev Jayate.

In a tweet they mentioned that they could host a show better than Bollywood star Aamir Khan. The text on the micro-blogging platform read, "Sometimes I feel we can do a better version of Aamir Khan's Satyamev Jayate. Should we invest our energies into doing so? Will you watch?"

Over this, Twitterati brought to notice that the Khan hosted Star Network show seemed to portray a single sided perspective. They also encouraged the young YouTubers to come up their version to the popular television talk show along suggesting the topics that they could highlight on the show.

"You can't better it...If u can manage to do something similar I'll watch," wrote a Twitter user. Some of the suggested issues towards the prospective show are the begging industry in India, Hawala market and it's role in funding terror, polygamy vs monogamy debate, reservation in educational process...

See the tweet:

For the unknowns, Abhiraj Rajadhyaksha is an Indian YouTuber and filmmaker while Niyati Mavinakurve is a content creator. The duo collaborate under the title 'Abhi And Niyu' on YouTube, Instagram to share stories, news details, inspiring videos and more.

Take a look at some reactions over their recent 'Satyamev Jayate' tweet, right here:

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YouTubers Abhi and Niyu plan to host a better version of Aamir Khans Satyamev Jayate - Free Press Journal

For those helping refugees and migrants, it might help to be aware of this guarantee of marital status. This status can help with marriage decrees or separation, and also protection for youth or undocumented workers.

__________________________________-

Why is CENOMAR Important for Migrants, Refugees, and Undocumented Persons?

A Certificate of No Marriage Record (CENOMAR) is simply what its name depicts. It is a PSA certification stating that a person has not entered into any marriage contracts, it is also known as a Certificate of Singleness or a Certificate of No Record of Marriage. The importance of the document showing that you are single lies in the fact that marriage in a foreign country with its native requires a single status certificate.

Different countries, different names of this certificate:

Certificate of No Record

Certificate of No Impediment

Certificate of Nulla Osta

Single Status Statutory Declaration

What is CENOMAR?

Before we move on to know more about this proof, let us first find out what this document is actually? It is a Single Status Certificate, which legally binds a personal document (showing the status of being unmarried) to be legalized. The certificate must be verified in order to prove your authenticity. The procedure of attestation is carried out by the native government, which grants permission to visit the country from another country. When applying for a visa or providing certified documents, the applicable government office will seek proof that you are an eligible individual.

Importance of this Certificate/Affidavit

The fact that you're getting married isn't the only reason you need this document certified. There are many other reasons and importance of a marital status certificate, like:

Employment visa

Family residence visa

Higher education

Admission to the foreign school

A single person must obtain a bachelorhood Certificate attestation in order to verify that he or she is not married. To avoid any fake single status proof, most foreign countries need you to validate your approved single status paperwork. A person who wishes to marry someone from another country must first prove that he or she is eligible for the marriage in this situation. If a widowed or divorced person intends to remarry, the confirmed document must be shown. It is a personal record of the overseas marriage process.

Documents required for the certificate:

The authorized person's letter of authorization. It transfers the authority to receive the document on the authorized person's behalf.

A valid Id of the authorized person

Authorization letter for bachelorhood (In case you are requesting for someone else)

Purpose of bachelorhood certificate

Unmarried certificates are used to prevent sham marriages, in which one party seeks to get an immigration advantage or other benefits by marrying someone else. Certain employment applications may also require this certificate. Several countries have recognized the significance of a CENOMAR - Unmarried Certificate and made it mandatory to get the certificate to avoid polygamy and illegal marriages from happening.

How to get this proof of singleness?

Fill out application forms at walk-in locations, online, or through service providers to obtain this document. After that, you'll have to pay a fee to have your request processed. You can hire a service provider at your place to complete all your legal requirements related to your singleness certificate.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, we can conclude that the Importance of single status certificate is much more than just proving that you are unmarried. It is a good policy since it protects many women, youth, or unpapered/undocumented refugees from being defrauded, and it also allows a person to marry in a foreign nation with his or her own spouse after calling them from their home country and completing the necessary paperwork in the place where theyare getting married.

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Awareness of Single Status for Migrants and Refugees - Mediate.com

Apparently being a woman does not automatically make you a lady. Being a lady, it is believed, one has to have class and self-respect. We have heard so many customs that should govern a lady and some, I admit, are deplorable.

When modern is added to lady, you probably picture a wild, conceited, and probably well-to-do female. Well, there is not always one way to see it. But there are certain things, thankfully, I will never have to go by simply because we are in the 21st Century. For example;

Never will I ever force myself to take on masculine traits just to be considered a strong woman. Some girls fight their emotions at the expense of their happiness just to be regarded as tough. No, thanks. I choose to embrace my sensitivity, emotional and nurturing nature. I will still be independent, bring my ideas to the board of opinions, say what I mean, be consistent and adopt more qualities because, by the way, it is okay to learn along the way and not have everything figured out just yet.

Never will I ever hate another girl for spiteful reasons. But never will I ever pretend to like another girl if I dont mean it. We know the drama between women fighting for men. Men, who, probably do not care about any of them. Or in instances of polygamy, women pretend to be okay with the situation while hating on each other heavily and deeply.

But also the modern facade of calling everyone sis (sister) should be called what it is, pretence.

Never will I ever pretend to have money in front of a guy when I dont. You know the question, what do you bring to the table? Well, I dont see why I should lie about not needing help just because it may come from a man. This, I believe, does not make me less of a female, just because I choose honesty and transparency.

Hear me well, however, because as a modern lady I will not be idle and wait for the gentleman to provide. Nor, I hope, will he expect me to be submissive.

Never will I ever die of hunger, not out of poverty, but because of an endless diet to try and adhere to societal standards. However, if I ever feel uncomfortable in my own body because of how much weight I have gained or lost then I will be happy to go on a diet, for me and nobody else.

Never will I ever wear clothes I do not like just to adhere to some standards. Some ladies will opt to wear ugly colourless outfits to be regarded as more serious and less provocative. Others will dress to impress too much, with the I dont care mentality.

Well, you choose. Regardless of the occasion and what I choose to wear, as a lady who respects herself, I will make sure my clothes/shoes are freshly cleaned, look crisp, and ironed to perfection. The point is, as long as I feel comfortable.

Again, we dont want to encourage a culture that objectifies women, to see them for their bodies, instead of their intelligence, thoughts, and opinions. However, we can be strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and respectable and still dress in a way that puts value on our feminine figures.

Never will I ever decide to put makeup on or not because of someone elses opinion. Ladies, it is okay to use that special tool to highlight your beautiful eyes or cover up acne and so on. It is okay not to go out without lipstick on if you dont fancy it. You are a lady regardless.

Never will I ever follow rules on how to be a lady. Although indirect, rules of any kind are just another way to confine people. PS; Im not talking about government rules and laws, arrest me not. But then if women still followed every rule, we still wouldnt have the right to vote or lead.

editor@newtimesrwanda.com

Read more:

Never will I ever: What's the definition of a 'modern lady'? - The New Times

After taking on the role as youngest son of one of the main characters in the TV series, Under the Banner of Heaven, Beau McHattie from Langdon, has his sights set on bigger roles.

Alberta has attracted some big film and TV productions over the last couple of years, bringing small acting roles and background work to the province.

One local 10-year-old boy from Langdon, Beau McHattie, nabbed a role as the son of one of the main characters in a soon-to-be-released series on Hulu called Under The Banner of Heaven.

The Mormon murder mysteryfeatures the likes of Andrew Garfield, Wyatt Russell, Sam Worthington, Denise Gough, and Rory Culkin. The story of polygamy, delusion, and violence follows the real-life 1984 tragedy of Brenda Lafferty as told by true-crime novelist and journalist Jon Krakauer.

With all of the filming taking place in several locations across southern Alberta, including Calgary, Crossfield, and Rocky View County, it was easy for the McHattie family to be part of the production.

Beaus mother Jayme McHattie noted the farthest they ever travelled for filming was 40 minutes.

It was neat he could do it, but it was also neat that the whole thing was filmed right here, from Vegas sets to Florida sets, she said, adding 40-foot palm trees were brought in for one of the scenes to make it appear they were actually in Florida.

After receiving the opportunity to submit for the role by their agent, Beau auditioned for the part under the assumption it was just for background work.

"And then I crushed that audition, Beau said.

Several days before filming was scheduled to start, their agent called with the news that Beaus background work was cancelled. After some initial disappointment, the agent went on to explain that it was cancelled because he actually had landed the bigger role of Ron Laffertys youngest son.

We were pretty excited. It was overwhelming. We had no idea what we were getting into, Jayme said.

In the series, brothers Ron and Dan Lafferty are both charged with the murder of their sister-in-law Brenda and her infant daughter. Jayme noted that some of Beaus most impactful scenes are with his character's dad, Ron Lafferty, who is played by Sam Worthington.

With a couple of lines throughout the series, Beau can be seen in several scenes of every episode, he said.

His mom noted that he took on some very serious scenes through his role.But though theseries contains some heavy material,the crew always made sure to check in on the kids on set, Jayme explained.

Academy Award-winning filmmaker and series writer for Under the Banner of Heaven, Dustin Lance Black, would often give Beau pointers and go over expectations with him before shooting every scene.

There's a fairly heavy domestic violence scene and Lance and the cast were very aware that it might be a little tough on some of the younger cast members there, Jayme explained. They would just take their time and after each take, they would talk to Beau and make sure that he understood that they're just acting and that nobody is actually getting hurt.

Being on set for what could be 10-hour days, Beau also needed to manage his school work. Thanks to an on-set teacher, he was able to keep up his academics throughout several months of filming.

I was actually pretty nervous until I met the teacher and she was actually really funny and nice, Beau said.

An additional benefit for his family was that Beaus grandpa, who is retired, became his stage person, bringing him to set and staying with him all day. The grandpa-grandson duo allowed his family to continue on with everyday life.

Beaus favourite part of filming was meeting actors includingWorthington, Daisy Edgar-Jones, and Denise Gough, he said.

It was a really cool experience seeing how the shows are actually filmed and how it comes together how the sets come together, and even how the camera's work, Beau said. It's just really awesome.

Beau first became interested in acting when he wanted to be in the show Stranger Things, a science fiction horror drama television series on Netflix. His mom had to explain that Stranger Things was a little out of our realm, and that maybe they could take a look at local productions instead.

The 10-year-old took on a bit of background work the year prior before landing the role on Under the Banner of Heaven.

I just want to be a main character in a movie or a show, he said of his future aspirations. Everyone's gonna know me.

The rest is here:

Langdon youth debuts acting career in Alberta-shot TV series, Under the Banner of Heaven - Airdrie Today

The individual bishops as . . . member[s] of the episcopal college and legitimate successor[s] of the apostles, [are] obliged by Christs institution and command to be solicitous for the whole Church, and this solicitude, though it is not exercised by an act of jurisdiction, contributes greatly to the advantage of the universal Church. For it is the duty of all bishops to promote and to safeguard the unity of faith and the discipline common to the whole Church.

This passage from the Second Vatican Councils Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Lumen gentium, underscores one of the principal doctrines articulated and developed at the council: the collegiality of bishops with one another and in union with the Bishop of Rome, and the solicitude each is to have for the universal Church, beyond the confines of his own local church.

The councils Decree Concerning the Pastoral Office of Bishops in the Church, Christus Dominus, picks up on this theme with greater specificity:

Inspired by this teaching we have received from the Second Vatican Council, this week I signed A Fraternal Open Letter to Our Brother Bishops in Germany together with seventy other cardinals and bishops from around the world (and the number of signatories is still growing). Because the German Synodal Path departs radically from settled Church doctrine and ancient and well-established discipline, it threatens to cause a schism in the Church, even beyond Germany itself. Our expression of concern is prompted by this threat, especially when we hear leading voices of the Church in Germany rejecting the authority of Scripture and Tradition, in particular with regard to the unbroken teachings of the Church on matters of sexual morality, gender ideology, the sacraments, and the exercise of authority in the Church.

The open letter, then, is an exercise of the collegial episcopal authority given to the Church from Christ, and follows on other recent interventions of members of the College of Bishopsin particular, the Letter of Fraternal Concern from the president of the Polish Bishops Conference to the president of the German Bishops Conference, and the similar letter from the Nordic Bishops Conference. As we reminded our brother bishops in the fraternal open letter:

I signed as the archbishop of San Francisco so the faithful of my own archdiocese may know that I have grave concerns about the action of the German bishops. I signed to be in collegial solidarity with bishops from around the world in opposition to the direction of the Synodal Path of the German church. Through contacts I have with the Church in Germany, I also heard pleas of the faithful Catholics in Germany for support from the Church around the world. To give these faithful German Catholics such support and encouragement is another act of solidarity for the good of the unity and peace of the Church.

In particular, I hope the letter makes it clear that:

To this last point it should be added that all baptized women and men, as a dignity conferred in baptism, exercise the baptismal priesthood, which is a strong foundation of the lay apostolate. The history of the Church is filled with great things achieved by women in promotion of the kingdom of Christ. To suggest that women must be ordained as priests in order to have equality with men in the Church is, ironically, demeaning to women, for it presumes that what has traditionally been exclusively the realm of men is the only measure of dignity or worth, and so whatever is uniquely feminine is inferior. This is a profoundly unchristian view of what equality and complementarity mean in Gods plan of creation and in the ordering of the Church.

I believe that it is no accident that many of the bishops who first spoke out by signing this letter are from Africa, where the Church is growing in spite of (or because of) the firm commitment of the Church there to preserving Christs teachings on sexual morality, even though these are starkly opposed to many African traditional mores (including polygamy). If settled Church doctrine, consistently taught and developed over two millennia, is to be discarded as socially unacceptable, then all the truth claims of the Christian faith collapse. It may seem ironic to some, but it is classical Catholicism that evangelizes. A tepid accommodation to the latest dogmas of secular orthodoxy, on the other hand, cannot be the basis for renewal.

I hope and pray that the German bishops will listen to the Holy Father and their brother bishops and turn from their path of division. The deposit of our Catholic faith cannot be changed, and those who try to change our faith do grave harm to themselves and to the faithful.

Salvatore J. Cordileone is the archbishop of San Francisco.

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Photo by Dennis Callahan, courtesy of the archdiocese of San Francisco.

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Why I Signed the Open Letter to Germany's Bishops | Salvatore J. Cordileone - First Things

If you havent heard of Elwood Gallimore, you can read the factual account of his life and death and the religious debate of the self-appointed Henry County pastor in this past weeks editions of the Bulletin.

What do I call you, I asked Gallimore when I interviewed him back in the 90s.

Call me whatever you want, Gallimore answered.

Id rather you tell me what you would like me to call you, I responded.

Then call me Elwood, Gallimore said.

For two hours we talked, and laughed, and even shared a tear, as I recall. He was passionate, convincing and in every sense of the phrase a good ole boy whom anyone would enjoy in their company.

He believed in and practiced polygamy, the custom of a man to have more than one wife at the same time.

Polygamy was not a taboo subject for Elwood. In fact, he was preaching about it right up until his death. So, regardless of the people who consider a discussion of polygamy with Elwood referenced after his death as disrespectful, I submit, based on my personal knowledge of Elwood, he would not only approve of it, but encourage it.

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Elwood received a bit of national publicity almost 30 years ago when the State Police swooped in and confiscated church tapes of him preaching and charged him with being married twice at the same time.

In an investigation worthy of a Barney Fife blunder, no one but the judge seemed to notice that Elwood only had one marriage certificate. His second marriage was in the eyes of God, Elwood told me.

Ive asked many religious leaders over the years, given their expertise on Bible matters, how Elwoods understanding of polygamy differed from most modern nations who outlaw the practice and most modern religions which condemn it.

The answer has always been consistent:

God permitted polygamy in the days of the Old Testament because it solved a pervasive problem of the time when women, with few exceptions, were uneducated, untrained and depended upon their fathers, brothers and husbands for survival.

Back then unmarried women were most vulnerable to prostitution and slavery.

Polygamy was an act of love and kindness, a selfless act by an authority figure in a dangerous culture that afforded a woman safety and protection.

Beyond that, everyone I spoke to in religious circles said the Bible makes it clear that polygamy was never Gods design for marriage and ideally; God prefers a one-woman man.

In fact, they said the Bible is also clear that the perfect man of God should remain celibate, but given our God-given nature to pursue physical relations with one another, it would be better to marry than remain unmarried.

Just this past weekend I learned that a family member, whom I obviously do not keep up with, has pulled a Caitlyn Jenner.

As I was told, he grew up, married and had two children. Then he became a woman and his wife became a man. His wife, now a man, married another woman, and he is raising his two children as their mother.

Men are becoming women and using their superior athletic ability to break all kinds of records in the womens sports world.

Given our advanced medical abilities to transform the gender of people according to their wishes, there are people born with identities, both physical and mental, that make the man and woman, or male and female concept, a matter of contradiction.

I cant help but wonder what Elwood would say about all of that now.

Since 2015, same-sex marriage has been federally legal in all 50 states due to a ruling from the Supreme Court. In Virginia, a statutory ban on same-sex marriage was repealed in 2020.

Frankly, Im surprised the legality of polygamy has not been an issue since Elwood stirred the pot almost 30 years ago.

Bill Wyatt is a reporter for the Martinsville Bulletin. He can be reached at 276-638-8801, Ext. 2360. Follow him @billdwyatt.

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The virtues of a one-woman man | Columnists | martinsvillebulletin.com - Martinsville Bulletin

Four months ago, in early December, my cousins husband, Bashi Malama*, took off and disappeared into thin air without notice.

Two months later, word came that he had been spotted alive and well at a house in a nearby township; this is to say, in plain language, that he was staying with another woman.

We broke the news to the wife, Bana Malama*, who responded with just one word: bakabwela (he will come back), and continued eating, unbothered.

We repeated the information, taking turns, just in case she hadnt heard us correctly: Bana Malama, your husband, Bashi Malama, to whom you are married, who we thought was in danger, is living with another woman, sharing the same bed at a place not so far from here.

The second response was even shorter: So?

In collective anger and bewilderment, we stopped talking to her for a couple of days. When that didnt yield the result we wanted, we conjured up stories which we loudly shared of husband A who ended up marrying a second wife, husband B who never returned home, husband C who brought home STIs. That wife D beat up the other woman, and wife E left her philandering man and landed herself a prince in shining armour. None of these stories permeated Bana Malama.

Last week, Bashi Malama returned unannounced and as silently as he had left. Bana Malama neither welcomed or unwelcomed him; the two just slipped back into pre-disappearance norms.

Lived experience has turned Bana Malama into a social scientist. Over the years, she has observed social phenomena, examined patterns, analysed trends and looked at outcomes before arriving at her scientific conclusion: Bakabwela he will come back.

Bana Malama believes in three things. The first one is that all men, without exception, are polygamous. The second is that all women, without exception, cannot stop the first thing. The third is that each woman must either take it or leave it nothing in between. She has chosen to take it.

I have in the past written fervently about polygamy. The premise for my argument was and still firmly remains that polygamy is natural, and that monogamy is a social construct, a learned behaviour. Monogamy, the sexual commitment to only one partner at a time, till death do us part is not achievable for most men, except for a few (God bless them). The reasons abound, and I will not belabour them here.

My views have drawn sharp and often contrasting responses from men and women. The latter accuse me of promoting promiscuity, with some offering to pray for me because the the devil is using you. The former have largely been agreeable, others even sharing detailed experiences, mostly about wanting but struggling to stay monogamous.

I stand by my argument: all men are polygamous. Those who are not, are due to resolve and self-control, while the rest are a matter of time and opportunity.

A study by Conley et al. (2012) in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9, 1559-1565 observed that those who consider themselves monogamous are not always sexually faithful, are unlikely to use condoms during their outside sexual encounter, and are unlikely to inform their partners, in keeping with their self-image of being monogamous.

The study concluded that unprotected monogamy is riskier than condom protected promiscuity. Therefore, as a strategy for preventing sexually transmitted infections, condom use is a much safer option than monogamy, which has a high rate of failure.

Am I suggesting that there are no men out there in Zambia, the rest of Africa and the world who are not monogamous? No. I want to believe that they are there, and if they are, they know themselves.

One of my girlfriends has sworn never to date an African man again, because they cheat on you and mess you up big time; I am now doing Europeans only, she declared, buying into the myth all too common among some African women that Caucasian men, unlike black men, are predisposed to monogamy. No use trying to convince her that the European stock of men are not exactly cleansed of polygamous urges, contrary to Western popular culture, which portrays them as a faithful-loving-feminised-domesticated lot.

Repeatedly, I have been asked whether I would marry into or be in a polygamous relationship; a contemptuous question pretending to be philosophical, if you ask me.

I must perhaps reflect on the advice of Bana Malama, too wise for her age, in particular, her second premise, that no woman, without exception, can stop a man, other than himself, from dreaming of, fantasising about, wanting to and having sex with more than one woman. But it is her third premise, her advice to women, which I find most arbitrary, profound, brutal, wise and conclusive: take it or leave it.

It is what it is, folks! When you know, you know.

In my painstaking conclusion, a monogamous man is an indulgence, a wish list, a construct, a lottery win, the privilege of a select few women and less of an inalienable right of every woman.

Excerpt from:

Monogamy is a social construct - Mail and Guardian

Doomed from the start. That phrase neatly describes the Apollo 13 mission, which launched this day in 1970, and the ongoing Covid-19 vaccination effort in the U.S. Yet both can be seen as successful failures.

When astronauts James Lovell, John Jack Swigert, and Fred Haise blasted off from the Kennedy Space Center, they were anticipating mankinds third trip to the surface of the moon. Two days into the mission, a defective oxygen tank exploded when they were some 200,000 miles away from Earth, imperiling their lives and making it impossible to complete their mission. Around-the-clock efforts by teams on the ground, imbued with NASA ingenuity, helped the astronauts return safely to Earth in what was nothing short of a miracle. Our mission was a failure, Lovell wrote later, but I like to think it was a successful failure.

We see parallels with Covid-19: a mission doomed from the start that has managed to eke out some successes.

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More than two years into the pandemic, its clear that the country has failed its primary mission of saving lives. The U.S. is now approaching a devastating 1 million deaths from Covid-19, an incomprehensible loss of life. But within this massive failure there has been a public health success: The tireless work, ingenuity, and collective action of scientists, public health practitioners, and clinicians in both the public and private spheres reminiscent of what NASA scientists and engineers did, but on a much larger scale has led to what is arguably the single most successful vaccination program in U.S. history.

Months before Covid-19 emerged in December 2019, the Global Health Security Index indicated that no country was really prepared for a pandemic. Although the U.S. was deemed most prepared, its capabilities could not compensate for the many shortcomings of its health care and public health systems. These are the same shortcomings that have consistently led the countrys health care system to rank last among high-income countries: incomplete access to care, glaring inequities, insufficient public health resources and infrastructure, and mistrust in both government and industry, to name a few. There was no reason to think the pandemic would solve these problems. Indeed, it made many of them worse and also created new ones.

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But the vaccines their development, manufacture, and widespread uptake have been a massive success. As we write this, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 88% of American adults have received at least one dose of a Covid-19 vaccine and 75% have been fully vaccinated, a higher Covid-19 vaccination rate than other non-mandatory vaccines have reached after being around for decades.

This means that in the span of about 18 months, some 227 million adults voluntarily got vaccinated despite the time it took to arrange an appointment, the discomfort, the likelihood of minor side effects like a sore arm or flu-like symptoms, and the uncertain likelihood of more serious side effects from the most rapidly developed vaccine of all time.

We know it might be hard to view any part of the Covid-19 pandemic response as a success. At times it feels impossible to think weve done anything right when Americans continue to spread SARS-CoV-2 and die from Covid-19 every day. The work is by no means done, and there are substantial gaps in vaccination coverage among adults, particularly when it comes to booster doses and younger populations.

Yet when rates of adult Covid-19 vaccination are compared to rates of vaccination against other vaccine-preventable illnesses, the U.S. has done remarkably well in a short amount of time: More American adults have received a two-dose Covid series since it became available than are current on their once-every-10-years tetanus boosters (about 70.5% of the adult population is up to date). Many more adults have been vaccinated against Covid than get vaccinated against influenza, where were lucky to see even half of the adult population vaccinated in a given year.

Eighty-eight percent is a simple statistic, but simple figures can reveal a lot about broader trends. For points of reference, a higher percentage of U.S. adults have had at least one dose of the Covid-19 vaccine than, according to Gallup, drink alcohol (60%); use Google (74%) in a typical week; find polygamy unacceptable (78%); or send their kids to public schools (83%). And despite the saying as American as apple pie, only 19% of Americans actually rate apple pie as their favorite, making Covid vaccination more American than apple pie at least by the numbers.

There are few things Americans appear to agree on more than Covid vaccination, though two key issues have clearly been settled: The Wizard of Oz was a classic (89%) and Gigli probably should never have been made (94%).

It was by no means certain that Covid-19 vaccination would become a widely accepted part of American life in less than a year and a half. This should be viewed as an important public health accomplishment a success within the countrys broader failure. Why? Surveys indicate that self-preservation and self-interest seem to be the major drivers as people make decisions to get vaccinated meaning public health messaging has helped many Americans see through widespread disinformation, fearmongering, and conspiracy theories to understand their own risks and take the appropriate action to lower them.

But the sense of duty that serves as a primary motivator for some and a secondary motivator for many more cant be discounted. Concerns about externalities an economic term that refers to the effects an individuals decisions has on others are at the core of this sense of duty and are what make getting vaccinated not just a privately beneficial decision but a patriotic one, even when promoting the public good isnt the primary motivator and even when people dont necessarily view it this way. Indeed, one study has shown that a sense of purpose can be a motivator of vaccination decisions.

If we were to ask the NASA workers whose tireless efforts brought Lovell, Swigert, and Haise back home, we imagine that self-interest wanting to keep their job would have been one motivator. But other motivations that kept them working through sleepless nights would surely have included a sense of duty, purpose, and even patriotism.

Patriotism in America is about coming together under common threads and common values. More than 40 million people watched television to see if the Apollo 13 astronauts would make it back to Earth safely. When they did, a New York Times reporter wrote that the events in all probability united the world in mutual concern more fully than another successful landing on the moon would have.

If there is any indication of Americans mutual concern for our national health and well-being, it could very well be the 88% of us who have received Covid-19 vaccinations.

To be sure, uptake of Covid-19 vaccines in the U.S. has not been as high as in other countries, including countries like Brazil or Vietnam that have far fewer resources than the U.S. And its certainly worth making comparisons between the U.S. and countries that have outperformed it to learn whatever public health lessons this pandemic has to offer. But it is also important to consider what might have happened had the U.S. not achieved the high levels of vaccination it did.

Its also tempting to point to divisiveness within the country as a sign of failure and, in particular, for the vaccinated to view the unvaccinated as paying no price for their decisions and being inconsiderate of their duty to their community and their country. Lies and misinformation have fueled very loud critics of scientifically undisputed infection-control measures, while assumptions about the character of the unvaccinated have led to vitriolic, misplaced accusations about entire groups of people.

While we personally think that our unvaccinated and undervaccinated neighbors could be doing more, extreme views are pervasive and ignore an important reality: We have all made sacrifices or done something other than getting vaccinated that supports our communities during the pandemic, whether its working an essential job with higher risk of infection, managing family life disruptions from social distancing and infection control measures, or helping neighbors that have been hit hard financially by economic disruptions. While most Americans now have some degree of biological immunity against Covid-19, none of us has been immune to the social and economic tolls of the pandemic. And, sadly, many more unvaccinated Americans have paid the ultimate price death from Covid-19 than vaccinated Americans since vaccines became widely available

Public health wont be taking days off for the foreseeable future, nor will doctors and nurses and caregivers. Many of them are running on fumes, though some want to stop. Lets not lose sight of the success buried within this larger failure and take a moment to recognize a truly remarkable achievement: 255 million (and counting!) people children, adults, our neighbors and friends have bettered their country by getting Covid-19 vaccinations.

Christopher M. Worsham is a pulmonologist and critical care physician at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and an instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School. Anupam B. Jena is an internal medicine physician at Massachusetts General Hospital, an associate professor of health care policy at Harvard Medical School, a faculty research fellow at the National Bureau of Economic Research, and host of the Freakonomics, MD podcast.

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The 'successful failures' of Apollo 13 and Covid-19 vaccination - STAT

Gone are the days of one man and one woman being the only definition of what a relationship can look like. Which is great, of course, because as we know, there are a whole lot of ways to show and experience love, most of which transcend traditional (and outdated, tbh) views on gender and sexuality. And while the ever-evolving landscape of relationships is v exciting, it can also get a little confusing, especially since a lot of terms sound similar. Take polygamy vs. polyamory, for example. The romantic labels may look almost identical, but they mean two very different things.

Polyamory is the state, practice, or orientation of having multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved, explains Heath Schechinger, PhD, a counseling psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley. Polygamy refers to being married to multiple spouses at the same time.

In both cases, there are multiple partners or love interests involved, notes holistic sex educator, coach, and host of The Labia Lounge podcast, Freya Graf. This is where the poly prefixwhich means many in Greekcomes in, she explains.

But despite what they have in common, there are actually a lot of differences between polygamy and polyamory. And since polyamory is becoming more popular in mainstream media and modern dating, its important to know what poly partnerships are all about and the ways in which they're different.

From their histories, to their cultural reception, to how to have a happy and healthy non-monogamous relationship, we reached out to experts for all you need to know about polygamy and polyamory.

Since polyamory and polygamy look very similar on paper, it can be hard to remember what they each mean, but the distinction is important because theyre culturally quite different, says Schechinger. Essentially:

Polyamory = having multiple *consensual* romantic/intimate relationships at once. Its an intentional type of non-monogamy conducted in a loving, considerate, mature, and respectful container with guidelines that all parties involved agree upon and communicate clearly about, says Graf. The genders and sexual orientations of partners arent prescribed.

Polygamy = another form of non-monogamy where one person has multiple spouses. Polygyny describes when a man has multiple wedded wives, and polyandry refers to a woman having wedded husbands, explains Schechinger. Typically, polygamy refers to cisgender heterosexual men being married to multiple cisgender women.

Furthermore, polygamywhich is illegal in the United Stateswas (and sometimes can still be) practiced by some cultures and religions hundreds of years ago, including in Islam and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Polyamory has no historical ties to religion.

Polyamory is rooted in feminism, gender equity, and flat power structures, while polygamy is rooted in religious fundamentalism and complementarianism where men and women are prescribed different but complementary roles and responsibilities in the marriage, family, and religious leadership, Schechinger explains.

Sometimes! Just like how every monogamous relationship is different, so are polygamous and polyamorous relationships. While open relationships are culturally more similar to polyamory than polygamy, the difference typically refers to the emotional component, Graf says.

In poly setups, there may be multiple long-term, committed, deeply loving and invested relationships, [whereas] in an open relationship there exists a freedom to explore sexually with others but usually involves boundaries about becoming emotionally involved or attached to any lovers outside of the primary couple, she explains.

So open relationships focus more on the physical side of things and typically dont involve anything emotional outside of the core relationship, while poly partnerships are usually both physical and emotional. That doesnt mean a polyamorous or polygamous family cant also be open, but being in an open relationship is a separate concept.

According to both Graf and Schechinger, there are a lot of reasons why someone might want to venture into consensual poly territory. For some, its about being more authentic to themselves. For others, its about wanting to expand their network of support. And, for some, its also about sex.

For the overwhelming majority, however, being in a consensually non-monogamous relationship is about being honest, meeting other like-minded people, improving the quality of romantic relationships, and getting to know oneself better, Schechinger explains.

Also, humans arent actually naturally wired to be monogamous, notes Graf, so many people struggle to remain faithful or continue to be satisfied in one monogamous relationship. Polyamory allows them to be consensually true to themselves and their desires.

Polyamory is more accepted in western culture than polygamy is. According to Graf, this is because polyamory typically isnt religion-based, and usually stems from a mutual arrangement centered around informed consent. Polyamory done right involves an incredible amount of respect, mature communication, healthy and clear boundaries, love and commitment." Its easier for modern progressives to accept and understand that" over the concept of polygamy, says Graf.

On the flip side, Graf says polygamy is often considered sexiest, unethical, and even barbaric in western society because its more common for polygamy to mean one man having multiple wives. In fact, while Schechinger says polygamy is legal in over 50 sovereign states worldwide, in most of them, polygyny (multiple wedded wives) is allowed but polyandry (multiple legal husbands) is illegal.

That said, some cultural traditions and religious practices are deeply ingrained in the people who believe in them, and we can't possibly understand it fully from the outside, says Graf. And while polyamory is starting to become more accepted in our society (and TV), Schechinger notes polyamorous partnerships still face many obstacles, such as a lack of the financial benefits couples receive, barriers that prevent adoption, restrictive healthcare, and career and housing discrimination.

Furthermore, Schechinger says polyamorous couples who *do* want to marry have to fight the laws currently in place to protect against non-consensual polygamy. Advocates are seeking solutions to maintain the appropriate protections while not discriminating against consenting adults, he says, but its still another hard hurdle polygamous couples experience.

Despite the whole more people are involved thing, Schechinger says polyamorous relationships arent all that different from monogamous relationships. People in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships highlight the following relationship elements as most important: community and family, sex, love, trust and authenticity, communication, and commitment, he says.

While all polyamorous relationships are different, Graf says setting clear and consensual conditions and ground rules is the common foundation. Typically, working polyamorous relationships also involve regular check-ins, communication, emotionally involved and ongoing connections (rather than casual sex), and full disclosure when a new person comes onto the scene, she says.

Some polyamorous relationships involve a primary couple that has outside secondary relationships, while other poly relationships are simply one primary relationship that involves more than two people with no outside relationships. Theres no wrong way to poly as long as everyones 100 percent on board!

If ethical non-monogamy sounds right for you, both pros say there are quite a few things to consider before opening up your twosome or joining an established relationship. First, its a good idea to gather information and learn all you can about polyamory. Read books like The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, talk to licensed sex therapists or mental health professionals, and think about why you want a non-monogamous relationship.

Once you have your bearings, start discussing what this would look like in the context of your relationship, suggests Schechinger. You and your partner(s) dont have to be drawn to polyamory for the same reasons, and it is important to be curious and considerate of your partners desires, he says. Keep the conversation non-judgmental.

In fact, while setting ground rules and consistently checking in is essential, Grafs main piece of advice for anyone wanting to explore polyamory is to work on their communication skills. Even though your mind understands that polyamory can be natural and great, you're up against a lifetime of conditioning and socialization,'' she says. It's big stuff and it's not for the faint-hearted It can be the best thing ever, but it's also hard work!

So no matter where you fall on the spectrum of monogamy, know that there is a place for you and your partners(s) if you're willing to do the work it takes to communicate openly and honestly. There are tons of different relationship styles, and understanding them is crucial toward building a more inclusive, less judgmental society where everyone can have exactly the kind of relationship they want and deserve.

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Polygamy vs. Polyamory - What's the Difference? - Cosmopolitan