Johnny better get used to it – Freethought Blogs

Roy Edroso speculates about future Depp projects.

Saucy Jack vs. The Sea Hags. The woke Disney corporation wont revive the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise except in a feminazi version, but that doesnt mean we cant still have Johnny Depp riding the seven seas as legendary buccaneer Saucy Jack Grackle! In this totally separate and original IP hes put on a little weight, but hes still the drunk and disorderly rascal youve come to know and love. In his glad rags, mascara, and mannerisms he cuts a dashing figure and all the ladies love him except for the Sea-Hags, an eighteenth-century gang of nasty women who, damaged by daddy issues, roam the high seas in search of psychic compensation and plunder. They despise Jack Grackle for his roguish masculinity and have vowed to sink his ship The Dark Gem and to literally emasculate him! But Jack leads them on a merry chase with much derring-do and CGI, ending in a literally ravishing, literally climactic physical struggle with Hag Queen Millie Bobbie Brown in which he shows her what rolling in the deep really means and makes everything work out! With several of Hollywoods top young actresses as the Sea Hags (who, when they remove their spectacles and shake out their hair, are actually super hot) and, as Jacks pirate gang, Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, and Ben Shapiro as Half-Pint. Special cameo by Tom Cruise as The Bitchmaster!

I like it. I wouldnt watch it, but I appreciate the authenticity of his crew, none of whom could act their way out of a soggy, weevily biscuit. Reality is that while something that blatant wouldnt get made, poor Johnny is going to have to resign himself to third tier movies and a lot of bad guy roles.

I also notice something in the comments over there: like me, a lot of lefties sat there quietly throughout the trial, doing their best to ignore it all. Maybe thats not the best strategy? You think?

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Johnny better get used to it - Freethought Blogs