For a Motivational Speaker, It Took Years to Feel Worthy of His Love – The New York Times

While Mr. Hall had apprehensions about starting a conversation with her, Ms. Nichols, who by then had shared her story of triumph over poverty, discrimination and single motherhood with millions, had certain insecurities that made her uninterested in pursuing him.

The mother of a then-teenage son, Jelani, who is now 27, Ms. Nichols had never been married. She hadnt entirely ruled out the possibility of a relationship, but her heart had been broken more than once in the past. At the time, she was also 100 pounds overweight, she said.

Mr. Hall, on the other hand, seemed like a perfect specimen. From the time he graduated from Castleton University in Vermont in 1994, he had worked as a broadcaster in his native Bahamas, where he is currently an anchor at Cable Bahamas in Nassau. He had also been a bodybuilder.

He was this tall, deliciously dark and handsome man, Ms. Nichols said. And I was 224 pounds.

The moment I left him, I began to tell myself, Hes not real, she added.

Down a self-preserving rabbit hole she went. Though Mr. Hall had told her when they met that he had a son from a previous marriage, which ended in divorce in 2009, and was expecting a child from another relationship, which had also since ended, Ms. Nichols concocted a likelier scenario.

He didnt have two children, he had nine, and seven of them were unclaimed, she recalled telling herself. He was not single, he was married and had a girlfriend and wanted me to be his second girlfriend.

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For a Motivational Speaker, It Took Years to Feel Worthy of His Love - The New York Times