True love is real. It is worth waiting for. It is worth searching for. And just because you havent found it yet doesnt mean its not waiting for you.
Gen Zers may have a more cynical perception of love than previous generations and understandably so. On social media apps like TikTok, the never-ending horror stories of betrayal and heartbreak bombard us and get millions of views due to the sheer disgust and shock they induce. But the calmness, stability and mutual respect seen in healthy relationships does not produce a visceral reaction and therefore does not reach as many viewers.
As people commiserate in comment sections about their failed relationships, a sense of hopelessness begins to cloud the idea of love.
It would benefit us to differentiate between love and unhealthy dynamics disguised as love. The easiest way to learn about love is to realize what love isnt.
In her book All About Love, bell hooks challenges society to redefine love. We are taught from a young age that love is primarily a feeling, a blind intuition and a magical trance we fall into through no control of our own. As hooks writes, this view is problematic as it leads people to think of love as a temporary feeling which they have no control over.
In reality, love is quite the opposite. Love is something we wake up and choose everyday. Love is a verb, a practice and a way of life.
It is easy to fall into love but it is harder to continually choose to love. As hooks writes, Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.
Unfortunately, we have absolutely no control over the place where we receive or are deprived of love for the first time. This place is our family. We have no control over whether we are born into a loving household and are given the unconditional love we are entitled to upon entering the world.
As hooks writes, when people who are supposed to love their children hurt them over and over, it can be confusing for the children. They can internalize an inaccurate belief of what love is. These individuals grow up and go into the world seeking their own, misunderstood definition of love.
In psychology this is known as confusion of tongues, where a child will accept however they are treated and see it as love.
At some point, we forget something that we knew as children that we yearn for love. As children, we gave hugs freely. We would even ask for a hug when we needed one. We loved our friends, our parents and we loved ourselves. But to continue loving oneself becomes an impossible task.
There is nothing empowering about denying yourself love. It is no different than denying that you have a basic need, like eating. Just as the body shuts down and deteriorates from a lack of food, so does a persons emotional well-being from a lack of love.
We see it in infants who are continually denied attention and warm affection. Brain development is affected in a catastrophic way, and these children are more prone to developing personality disorders, according to the Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders Study.
When we are truly loved, we feel capable of being our true selves. We are empowered to take off the mask we hide under and instead be vulnerable and open. We create a space in our hearts to receive the love we have always yearned for.
When we can be ourselves before the person we love, the knowledge that we are loved frees us from any fear. We no longer need to drain our energy from constant self-monitoring, we no longer suffocate under the mask of the false self.
It is hard to admit to ourselves that people close to us even family may not love us. However, we cannot blame those who have misguided definitions of love because they too had no control over who first taught them love their own parents.
But rather than perpetuate this cycle of generational lovelessness, we can internalize a new, revolutionary definition of love. We can choose to love others instead of judging them, and slowly move our society toward a better way of life.
It is a fear of love, and a fear of not being loved, that drives so much of our behavior. As hooks writes, love allows us to let go of that fear. We can leap and know that the grace of love will catch us.
Love is not what we fall into. It is what catches us when we fall.
Read more here:
Redefining Love: Love is more than a feeling The Daily Free Press - Daily Free Press
- Spill The Trance x Club Drive: 'Unmasking The #Controversy' at Recyclart, Brussels - Resident Advisor - April 20th, 2024 [April 20th, 2024]
- First Ride: The 2024 Giant Trance X Advanced - Pinkbike.com - April 12th, 2024 [April 12th, 2024]
- FIRST RIDE IMPRESSIONS: GIANT'S NEW TRANCE X ADVANCED - Mountain Bike Action - April 12th, 2024 [April 12th, 2024]
- "It Felt Like I Was In a Trance": Lady Narrates Her Bedroom Experience With Side Boo in Leaked Chats - Legit.ng - April 12th, 2024 [April 12th, 2024]
- In pictures: Snow Strippers take over Londons Trance Party - Dazed - March 12th, 2024 [March 12th, 2024]
- Juno Reactor's Ben Watkins on the 1997 Goa trance classic Bible of Dreams: "What really gave the album its sound ... - MusicRadar - March 12th, 2024 [March 12th, 2024]
- W&W make their triumphant return under the NWYR project - We Rave You - March 12th, 2024 [March 12th, 2024]
- A Trance Database Arrived: Browse by Year with Ease - We Rave You - February 16th, 2024 [February 16th, 2024]
- Top 15 best Malayalam thriller movies on Netflix, Prime Video, and more; From Mammoottys Kannur Squad to Fahadh Faasils Trance - PINKVILLA - February 16th, 2024 [February 16th, 2024]
- Rock N Roll Circus: Second stage announced as Sheffields Gatecrasher returns with 30th anniversary show - Yahoo Eurosport UK - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Nicholas Gunn: "I learned many years ago to never set expectations" - Electronic Groove - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Guardians of the Galaxy 3 Redeemed Star-Lord's Infinity War Mistake - CBR - Comic Book Resources - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Gatecrasher at The Republic: 19 photos taking you back to days of famous Sheffield superclub in 90s and 2000s - Yahoo News UK - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Tisto unveils his own remix to Da Hool 90s anthem 'Meet Her At ... - We Rave You - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Morissette Eager To 'Feel, Think and Move' With Thousands in ... - VOCM - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Countdown to the Indian Spirit Festival 2023 | Grateful Web - Grateful Web - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Billy Gillies Uplifts Souls with His Summer Mix - EDM Identity - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Tritonal to Embark on 15 Years Of Enhanced Music Tour - EDM Identity - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Dining Review: Basil and Bunny in Bristol - Rhode Island Monthly - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Ally Ewing delivering good impression of Brian Harman with strong ... - Magnolia Banner News - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Review: Weathervanes, EdFringe - Everything Theatre - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Calvin Harris and Sam Smith share video for new collaborative ... - DJ Mag - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Exclusive Single Premiere: Wandering Blind "Only A Matter Of Time ... - the AU review - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- Brunch Electronik Festival Celebrates Electrifying First 3-Day Edition ... - Rave Jungle - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- West Coast Drive Safety Concerns Solved By Chucking Blinkers On ... - The Bell Tower Times - August 18th, 2023 [August 18th, 2023]
- What is Trance Music? (18 Different Types of Trance Music) - DITM - March 4th, 2023 [March 4th, 2023]
- Fahadh Faasil to team up with Anwar Rasheed again after Trance for a film helmed by Romancham director? | Exclusive - Ottplay - February 5th, 2023 [February 5th, 2023]
- ARTY announces Alpha 9 debut album 'New Horizons' coming in January - We Rave You - October 17th, 2022 [October 17th, 2022]
- Meet the creatives behind the scenes of BTS' 'Yet To Come in Busan' concert live band, choreographers, and more - Bandwagon - October 17th, 2022 [October 17th, 2022]
- Alesso and Sick Individuals' "We Go Out" Is a Weekend Rallying Cry - EDM.com - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Pecky the magpie reviews The Axeman's Carnival by Catherine Chidgey - The Spinoff - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- This Week In Toledo History | The Press - Press Publications Inc. - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Review of Amazon Primes The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power Season One, Episode Eight Alloyed - Television - October 15th, 2022 [October 15th, 2022]
- Smile is innovatively terrifying, ultimately unmemorable - The Emory Wheel - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- What to do in Las Vegas this week (October 13-19 edition) - Las Vegas Weekly - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Meet the Artists Shaping the Wave Music Scene - EDM.com - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- How to fix an Apple Watch stuck on the Apple logo - Android Authority - October 13th, 2022 [October 13th, 2022]
- Houston Texans offense in a trance, plus other Week 4 takeaways - Toro Times - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Kubix Festival announces return to Sunderland with acts including Five, N-Trance, Ultrabeat, Flip & Fill, A1 and 911 - Sunderland Echo - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Hypnotherapist sexually assaulted woman he placed under a trance - The Telegraph - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- The Up & Coming EDM Genres Likely To Strike It Big In The Coming Years - Critical Hit - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- TRENCH Radio: 10 Of The Best Mixes This Week - TRENCH - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Tisto unites with the Black Eyed Peas for new single 'Pump It Louder' - We Rave You - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- The Perks And Quirks Of 'Paw'renting - Entrepreneur - October 8th, 2022 [October 8th, 2022]
- Tranquil trance on dream island - The New Indian Express - September 29th, 2022 [September 29th, 2022]
- I was hypnotized by a Four Seasons 'resident healer' for $285 - Business Insider - September 29th, 2022 [September 29th, 2022]
- Gareth Emery Shares Exclusive Playlist Ahead of Groove Cruise The Ascension 2022 - Your EDM - September 29th, 2022 [September 29th, 2022]
- Acid trance - Wikipedia - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Spain in trance after beating Lithuania: 'It's like a fairytale we don't want to end' - BasketNews.com - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) Story Recap - TheReviewGeek - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Richie McNeill: 10 Events That Define the History of Hardware - Music Feeds - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Matthew McConaugheys favourite songs of the 1990s - Far Out Magazine - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Kerry Katona breaks down in tears and left shaking as she opens up on mental health battle after... - The Sun - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Herald: THEY ARRIVE AT RAVE PARTIES - Herald Goa - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) Story Recap - TheReviewGeek - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Mind Is Completely Blown People React As Trailer Of Hrithik-Saifs Vikram Vedha Is Out - MensXP.com - September 11th, 2022 [September 11th, 2022]
- Free Trance Samples: Thousands Of Percussions, Loops, and FX Sounds For Your Uplifting Productions - Magnetic Magazine - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- The Growing Tide Of Trance Blues - An Emerging Genre - Music Essentials - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Aarppo to Urumboottu - indulgexpress - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- The healing dance of SAs choreographic shaman - Mail and Guardian - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Fall preview of jazz festivals in the area and beyond - wbgo.org - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- SWTOR 7.1.1 Healer Balance Changes Overview and Analysis - VULKK.com - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Soft Cell | YouTube Theater | 8/24/22 - Grateful Web - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Lee Yu Mi and Coleman Domingo win the 2022 Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series - The Hollywood Reporter - BEAM Media - September 9th, 2022 [September 9th, 2022]
- Bulleh Shah's 265th Urs celebrations: A melange of trance and ecstatic exuberance - DAWN.com - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Chatting with Emma Hewitt: The Queen of Trance Music - Digital Journal - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Just Dance: These Asian DJs Are Revolutionising The EDM Scene - Augustman Malaysia - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Shaukat Tarin instigates Punjab to withdraw from IMF deal - Geo News - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Chlo Is a Goddess in a Silver Gown with the Highest Thigh-High Leg Slit at the 2022 VMAs - Harper's BAZAAR - August 29th, 2022 [August 29th, 2022]
- Ferry Corsten Brings "What the F" to Los Angeles [Event Review & Interview] - Your EDM - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- Jason Ross On How His Sophomore Album Reflects an Elevated Version of Himself - EDM.com - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- Paul McCartney Compared Writing 1 of The Beatles' Songs to Writing a James Bond Theme - Showbiz Cheat Sheet - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- John Digweed celebrates the 200th digital release of Bedrock Records [Magazine Exclusive] - We Rave You - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- Hypnotherapy for Health and Happiness - Next Avenue - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- Matroda returns to Insomniac with house single 'Hazy' - The Groove Cartel - August 27th, 2022 [August 27th, 2022]
- Cocaine-Related Deaths Reach Record High in the UK - Men's Health - August 10th, 2022 [August 10th, 2022]
- Britain will pay a heavy price for falling into a net zero trance - The Telegraph - August 10th, 2022 [August 10th, 2022]
- The Outside - 8/7/22 - WYSO - August 10th, 2022 [August 10th, 2022]
- Chicane: "There were times when I came very close to smashing the sh*t out of the studio in frustration" - MusicRadar - August 10th, 2022 [August 10th, 2022]
- Priests and politics: The separation of church and state - SC Times - August 10th, 2022 [August 10th, 2022]