Monthly Archives: August 2022

Adam Graham| Guest columnist

As the youngest and first openly gay mayor of The Village, Im grateful to my constituents for putting their faith in me to serve. I regret that upsetting circumstances prevented me from fulfilling my role, but I hope my story will open the minds and hearts of people who hear it.

I made the difficult decision to resign from the mayorship after experiencing retaliation that distracted me from my duties. I was followed home from meetings, verbally harassed and threatened, and had my tires slashed. I was the subject of jokes and abuse by anti-LGBTQ politicians. The truth is no one should have to fear for their safety simply for being themselves and trying to do the right thing, but thats what I faced. Stepping down from the job I loved was the most difficult decision Ive made.

The reality is that LGBTQ residents, people of color, women and other marginalized groups of people still face unacceptable levels of discrimination in our home state, and the harms are exacerbated in small towns and rural areas. And after enduring a years-long pandemic, a national racial reckoning and mounting tensions about the future, our nation is suffering from extreme polarization that is pitting us against one another and causing fear and misunderstanding. Across the country, lawmakers have introduced record-high numbers of anti-LGBTQ bills. Harassment and violence are on the rise. As one of only six openly LGBTQ elected officials in Oklahoma, I know personally that there is still too much unfamiliarity around what it means to be gay, and its an impediment to our ability to grow and become stronger. I believe if we dont have more conversations and empathy, we wont be able to keep moving in the right direction.

Most importantly, I continue to have big hopes and dreams for this community. I believe in the Golden Rule of treating others as I would want to be treated and encouraging people to remember we have more in common than we have differences. Ive met so many new and inspiring people during my five years on council that Im confident that the small but vocal minority who caused me harm will continue to be in the minority. The majority of us agree that taking care of our families, improving our economy and contributing to the greater good will make us stronger not tearing one aother down or spewing hate on social media.

Im excited to embark on other opportunities to contribute to making The Village and the state of Oklahoma a kinder, more welcoming home for all. I was glad to do this in my capacity as vice mayor and member of the city council over the past few years. Theres nothing I care about more than service. Im committed to doing my part, and there is no doubt in my mind we can only move forward, not backward.

Adam Graham is the former mayor of The Village.

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Adam Graham: Why I resigned from mayor of The Village - Oklahoman.com

Daily Mail-Footage shows Spanish police raiding the beach and using a helicopter to drive off dozens of looters trying to snatch cannabis from a crashed drug traffickers' boat. The bizarre raid was filmed from a nearby rooftop in Sanlucar de Barrameda, Cadiz province, southern Spain, on 29th July, in the middle of a drugs bust.

Spanish customs officers had intercepted the crashed drug dealers' boat after it was beached on the sand. But when they tried to secure the crime scene, they were swamped by locals apparently trying to steal the stash.

BOOOOOOOO!!! What the fuck is going on in Spain? Do they not live by the motto "Finders keepers, losers weepers" or as the locals might say (according to Google Translate) "Buscadores guardianes, perdedores llorones". That was always the fairest way to live life back when we were kids because it was simple without any politics or bias.

I know all the John Q. Laws out there will try to tell me that this weed needed to be comprehended after the bust for evidence and to get it off the street. But it's not like these people are kids in a candy store for hard drugs that can cause them to look like Mia Wallace if they went to the deep end of the pool without any clue what they were doing.

In addition to violating the whole, "Finders Keepers" Golden Rule, a bunch of free weed is good for local morale and also hits drug dealers where it hurts by removing a good chunk of their customer base since nobody is going to look to buy weed if they just got a trash bag of it off a boat while chilling at the beach. Day 1 Supply and Demand stuff right there.

I may just be an idiot blogger, but I'm an idiot blogger that has rewatched the entire series of The Wire at least 8 times. Which is why I wish the police would reconsider and give the weed back to the people that briefly held it in their hands in what had to be the best beach day of all-time for them that should never be taken away by anyone, let alone the people they pay to serve and protect them.

Giphy Images.

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Police In Spain Made A Massive Weed Bust Then Were Forced To Chase Down All Of The Looters That Were Loading Up On Free Pot - Barstool Sports

In a recent interview with ET, Sofia Carson opened up about what advice she would give to an up-and-coming actor entering the scene in showbiz. The actress's latest Netflix film Purple Hearts raised a lot of buzz among netizens. In the film, Carson is cast opposite Nicholas Galitzine in an enemies-to-lovers romantic plotline.

During the interview, Carson shared her golden rule, "Whenever I do see younger actors, the first thing I say is, 'Keep your mom close,' because there's nothing like having family in this business." She continued, "I've been so lucky that [my mom and I are] on this journey together. She protects me fearlessly. So, I always say that." Carson also talked about the advice her mom gives her, "And then, I always say just to remain grateful and to enjoy every second of the journey. My mom always says, 'It's not about where you're going, but it's about enjoying this moment right here, right now because right now is a gift.'"

Carson elaborated, "It's very easy to get caught up in what's next or more or bigger, but enjoying right here, right now is so important." The Download actress recounted that through the "many lessons" she has learnt in this industry "perhaps the most important is the power of our voice." She went on to add, "We're so lucky to be in the position that we are in, to have the platforms that we have, to have voices that are amplified to millions of people around the world, and to take that responsibility seriously."

ALSO READA Perfect Pairing Twitter Review: Fans give the 'wonderfully cheezy' film a mixed reaction

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Purple Hearts star Sofia Carson shares the first advice she gives to newcomers in the industry - PINKVILLA

EVERYONE knows that drunk driving is illegal - but do you know all the rules?

While we all know you shouldn't get behind the wheel after a drink, there are other, lesser known laws to keep you safe that could see you slapped with a 2,500 fine.

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Dominic Smith, director of the UK's leading criminal driving legal firmPatterson Law, has now issued an urgent warning about how to stay safe and avoid falling foul of strict drink-driving rules.

Under the Road Traffic Act 1988, a motorist can be found guilty of an offence if they are simply "in charge" of their car while drunk.

So while it may seem harsh, this can see motorists prosecuted for driving under the influence even if they never opened their car or switched on their engines.

The offence could see drivers banned from the road, slapped with a fine of up to 2,500 - or even imprisoned for three months.

The strict rules have led Dominic to warn motorists to think twice next time they have a drink.

The legal expert said one of the most common times people get caught out is at the pub, when revellers might try and grab something from their car.

He said: "I've known people to be arrested who have been at the pub with their keys on them and they nip out to the car to get a pack of cigarettes or a coat."

He added drivers are then shocked when they "then get arrested for being drunk and in charge of their car."

In the eyes of the law, drivers are guilty if they are believed to have been intending to drive their car - which can mean even sitting in the backseat with the keys in your pocket.

This can cause Brits to be especially vulnerable when they are sleeping in their car - as dozing motorists may still fall under "being in control of a motor vehicle".

Dominic said: "You don't need to start the car or even sit in it to be 'drunk in charge'.

"The second you go out of your house, if you have your car keys on you, you are technically in charge of the car."

Dominic added that the only way to defend against the offence is to prove in court there was NO WAY you were going to drive - a particularly difficult assumption to challenge.

The driving lawyer issued his golden rule: If you have a drink - you can't even go near your car. No exceptions.

Despite believing they are fine to drive, research by lease companyVanaramafound millions of drivers could unintentionally drive over the limit while thinking they are sober enough.

According to the study, almost a third of UK drivers were unaware that a glass of champagne would put them over the legal limit.

Another 22 percent of motorists didn't know that drinking two small glasses of wine would also make getting behind the wheel illegal - which is an offence even with the engine off.

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Im a driving lawyer these are the drink driving rules that NO ONE knows about... - The Sun

My friend Liam Doyle moved to Tampa in January for a new job, leaving behind deep roots and relationships in Acadiana. A couple of weeks ago, he shared a truth I learned long ago: Making friends as an adult is tough.

Having made eight major moves as an adult, Ive gone through the struggles but have ultimately been blessed to build deep friendships in each place. Still, I appreciate the comfort and understanding old friends offer. Earlier this week, I visited with four old friends and later had to apologize when I realized I may have talked their arms and legs off.

What has worked for me in the past is not rocket science. Just do things. In years past, I read the newspaper and found events I believed would be interesting, and I went to them. I also invited people to lunch and after a few lunches, I invited them to dinner and cooked for them. I joined things churches, book clubs and more. I also started a ladies investment club in my last two cities. Ten ladies and I met once a month. In both cities, those ladies became some of my closest friends.

When I spoke with Doyle about his move and quest to build new relationships, he explained that he's trying a more modern approach by going to Meetups. Last weekend he went to brunch with a group of strangers and had a lovely time.

There were 12 people in their 20s and 30s. Im 33 so they were right in my age group, Doyle said. Ill definitely go to the restaurant again and do more Meetup events in the future.

Meetup is an online app open to anyone over 18. I checked and found 16 options of things I could do this weekend from a writing group called Shut up and write (they meet virtually, introduce themselves and then write in silence, basically holding each other accountable), to a real estate investing group, a board games and cards group and more.

Doyle said he didnt look at his move as an opportunity to reinvent himself.

I know exactly who I am, but I appreciate the ease of having a friend who has known me, he said. It can be difficult to introduce myself. People tend to make assumptions when they see someone in a wheelchair. Its very draining to have to constantly explain that I have a full-time job and can do anything I want to do with a few modifications. People who know me, know that.

Doyle said having a visible disability creates interesting internal dialogue and external conversations.

Any time I meet someone new, in the back of my head I'm wondering, Are they seeing me or the wheelchair first? he said. I dont have the time to explain to every single person I meet for them to see me for who I am I have to be selective about who I spend that time with.

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Even with the occasional hiccup, he says that moving six months ago has already been an opportunity for growth and change.

For example, I like hockey now. I had been to see the Ice Gators, but I didnt really get it, he said. Now, with the hockey team here, Im a big fan of the game.

Jessica Trahan, director at Wesley United Campus Ministry at the University of Louisiana Lafayette, said shes seen so many people struggling with the issue Doyle is working toward rectifying at his new home in Florida.

She said that during the past few years, many of us became accustomed to to being home or with one or two of our closest people.

It was like we forgot how to meet people and be with people, she said.

Her recommendation is simple.

The easiest thing is to be yourself, even though were always taught we should be measuring ourselves against others youre going to lose the comparison game every time, Trahan said. If youre not willing to be vulnerable when youre meeting people, there will be limits to the depth of relationships youll build.

Beyond that, she said the Golden Rule stuff always holds true.

Treat people well how you would hope to be treated in return. Be honest. Be kind, she said. Sometimes its as easy as showing up. Say yes to new things. Acknowledging that its nerve wracking and a bit scary is perfectly understandable and a normal part of it, but it shouldnt be the reason you dont try.

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Making new friends as an adult is hard, but worth the effort - The Advocate

In todays consumerist, fast-moving culture, the pursuit of meaning in life may not be everyones immediate goal. However, research shows that finding meaning in life, whatever that might be for the individual, could significantly benefit well-being.

The pursuit of meaning has underlined human activity for millennia, if not longer stretching back to thinkers like Aristotle and Plato all the way up to modern-day philosophers, psychologists, and scientists.

While different understandings of meaning coexist, both secular and religious thinkers agree that meaning-search is a quintessential part of being human whether they believe that it stems from biological evolution or an innate predisposition. In the Islamic tradition, for example, this is known as the fitra.

The central role played by the search for meaning in human experience should come as no surprise. Research shows that not only does finding a sense of meaning in life inform our goals and priorities, but it also shapes how we respond to lifes twists and turns.

Studies, for example, consistently demonstrate a link between finding meaning in life and experiencing psychological well-being.

Existential psychology seeks to study lifes big questions, and generally defines three main sources of finding subjective meaning:

A recent study published in Nature Human Behaviouralso suggests a fourth source of deriving meaning in life experiential appreciation, or appreciating the small things in life, such as a simple coffee or the beauty of a sunset.

When asked whether any of these four facets are more beneficial than others for psychological well-being, Prof. Joshua Hicks, professor of social and personality psychology at Texas A&M University, one of the authors of the study cited above, told Medical News Today: My guess is that an optimal sense of meaning is derived from high levels of each of the facets. That said, it is likely that different factors are more important in different situations across the lifespan.

For example, trauma has the potential to lower meaning in life as the experience is often inconsistent with our worldviews, e.g. bad things are not supposed to happen to good people. This, in turn, can disrupt our sense of coherence. Therefore, it might be especially important for one to reestablish coherence during these times.

Prof. Joshua Hicks

As we age, a sense of mattering may become more important to individuals, perhaps to placate fears of ones mortality alongside other age-related concerns. I assume experiential appreciation varies across the lifespan and is perhaps even more important as we age as it helps life seem worthwhile even if long-term goals seem less attainable- perhaps generating a loss of purpose- and memory gets more fragmented, leading to a loss of coherence, he added.

Prof. Rebecca Schlegel, professor of social and personality psychology at Texas A&M University, also an author on this study, cautioned that while a successful meaning search may be beneficial, an unsuccessful search for meaning may be counterproductive.

I think searching but feeling like you didnt come up with a satisfying answer can actually backfire. For example, someone may search for a cosmic or ultimate meaning and end up feeling disappointed. By comparison, looking for the beauty in everyday life can help you experience a successful search for meaning, she told us.

Evidence shows that self-transcendent values going beyond meeting ones own wants and needs in pursuit of higher goals may also contribute to a successful search for meaning.

In a recent study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers reminded people of stressful topics previously shown to make participants upset and defensively hostile. They then asked participants to describe how their life goals reflected their highest values.

The researchers recorded participants brain activity via EEG, and used questionnaires to assess various aspects of their personality.

In the end, they found that people who are persistently engaged in the pursuit of deriving meaning, and focus on selfless, self-transcendent values, tend to have more feelings of personal power in stressful situations and make less harsh judgments.

When asked why this might be, Prof. Ian McGregor, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo, and first author of the study, told MNT that focusing on non-materialistic guiding values makes us more resilient to frustrations and failures in life.

He noted that focusing away from material reality and on guiding values can activate a basic dopaminergic motivational system that automatically mutes anxiety and related phenomena.

He added that when coupled with self transcendence, the search of meaning can also make people more generous and forgiving as they have less need to respond to anxiety with defenses that are hostile or self-serving.

Self transcendence is the most popular way that people try to have meaningful lives by helping or contributing to others, said Prof. McGregor.

This, he noted, may be because abstractions such as personal values often require social consensus for them to feel real, which can be achieved if they also provide value to others.

That self transcendence and a sense of virtuousness help others find meaning in life, however, is not a new concept. It is a common value among the worlds cultures and major religions, often expressed through the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

There is also research that shows that feeling accountable to a higher power may motivate more consistent altruistic behavior, and lead to higher psychological well-being in the form of feeling like one matters to others, attaining a sense of dignity, and having meaning in life.

When asked how accountability to a higher power may relate to finding meaning in life, Dr. Blake Victor Kent, assistant professor of sociology at Westmont College, who studies the sociology of religion, told MNT:

Meaning gives us a framework, a narrative, to place ourselves in a larger story and arrive at the conclusion that our existence matters. [] Accountability to God taps into meaning since it is a way of affirming that we are in a relationship with a higher power that has our good in mind.

When we approach big questions in [relation to God or a higher power] and order our lives so that they reflect values which transcend perceptual limitations, we can tap into meaning in a powerful way, he added.

Given that 84% of the worlds population is religiously-affiliated, examining the effects of beliefs surrounding a higher power on meaning and, consequently, psychological well-being, is key to understanding more about the human condition.

For many, belief in a higher power also provides an underlying, primary cause for natural phenomena an origin story and thus a primordial meaning.

It provides the view that everything in the universe from human bodies to intergalactic objects and the physical laws that govern them is contingent on the existence of this all-powerful being.

As religious or spiritual frameworks provide a direct connection to this higher power, some researchers argue that, for some people, they provide a more comprehensive and existentially satisfactory framework of meaning than a purely secular outlook.

To understand how belief in a higher power as a source of meaning may benefit psychological well-being, MNT spoke with Muhammad Abubakar, doctoral researcher in clinical psychology at Fielding Graduate University and senior student at Qalam Seminary.

He noted that believing life is a moral test for a more permanent afterlife may motivate people to do good works, maintain good character and hygiene, among other things which benefit ones health and quality of life.

He further explained that belief in God and an afterlife can help people maintain resilience during difficult times or when faced with chronic medical conditions.

When asked how to approach the search for meaning, Prof. Schlegel noted that striving to be consistent with ones moral values may help increase feelings of meaningfulness:

A lot of my work is on how people use their true self-concept as a source of meaning and moral codes are a defining feature of true selves. To that end, living in ways that are consistent with your morality (e.g. in your job, in your relationships, etc.) is a big part of [finding] meaning in peoples lives.

Prof. McGregor also added, however, that striving for meaning may come with cons as well as pros:

In our contemporary culture there are pros and cons of meaning search. Contemporary secular culture values expedience more than meaning search. Meaning searchers can sometimes therefore feel out of step with people in the world around them, who do not care about meaning search. [And] people who do not care about meaning search can find meaning searchers to be a bit of a pain because they tend to complicate things by bringing moral considerations to decisions.

Prof. Hicks agreed that the current state of the world is not very conducive to a personally meaningful existence.

War, eco-anxiety, pandemics, and political polarization can all disrupt our sense of meaning, he pointed out.

Yes, each of these things can crystallize our goals, perhaps temporarily leading to a greater sense of purpose, but I am not sure if this can lead to a sustained sense of meaning because each of them is also related to fear and distrust that certainly interferes with our ability to detect meaning in our daily existence, he noted.

Dr. Kent added that, seeing that many of the stable institutions that provided a framework for meaning in the past are currently being questioned, we are living in a tumultuous social and existential moment.

Times are changing, but fundamental social, psychological, physical, and spiritual needs are not, he said.

I think the improvement that comes along with looking for meaning is most effective when its grounded in a true desire to understand how we fit in this world, he explained.

As for how to know this, Abubakar noted that a good place to start may be taking some time out from the clamor of day-to-day life to reflect on the intricate design of the universe we inhabit, how it all came to be, and what it all might mean for our purpose.

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How does having a sense of purpose influence our well-being? - Medical News Today

Before Warner Bros. stepped in Zack Snyder had planned for multiple sequels to 2013s Man of Steel starring Henry Cavill as Superman.

The apparent cancellation of the so-called SnyderVerse has been one of the greatest losses for the blooming DC Extended Universe so far. Just when it seemed like the cinematic universe had found its niche, with the exciting Christopher Nolan trilogy leaving a void that needed to be filled by talented filmmakers, the DC world was thrown off balance again.

Arguably, the film that has suffered the most from Warner Bros. decision to cancel the SnyderVerse-related projects has been the original Man of Steel. Superman has always been a notoriously difficult character for the big screen. Some critics consider his morals and his overall brand of heroism dated or irrelevant to modern culture, which might be partially why we never got a proper Man of Steel solo sequel.

Still, it seems like a waste to let a film with as much potential as Man of Steel go to waste, especially when there are so many questions left unanswered about Krypton and Superman himself by the end of the movie.

For those reasons, weve compiled a list of five burning questions left unanswered in Man of Steel that could be addressed in potential sequels.

Its no secret to anyone that Zack Snyder loves symbolism, especially if its related to Christianism in any way. Thats why he relied so much upon portraying Superman as a deity rather than just a hero for most of his appearances in the SnyderVerse a trend that began with Man of Steel and its existential questions about how mere mortals would see someone like Superman. Something that would have no doubt continued in Man of Steel sequels too.

That said, when it comes to religious imagery specifically Christian and Catholic imagery, in Supermans case nothing comes close to the symbolism of Superman rising from the dead in Justice League. His resurrection might have been a bit rushed in the original cut of the film, but the symbolism and religious allegories were turned up to eleven with the release of the fabled Snyder Cut.

Religious or not, dying and returning to the world of the living must have some ramifications for whoever goes through that process, no matter if theyre made of steel or any other metal or alloy. Its a life-changing experience quite literally that must have left some scars on Supermans psyche. So, what changed with the Man of Steel after his apparent demise?

Even though the Snyder Cut tackles some of these questions, theres only so much that can be done without devoting an entire solo film to these metaphysical questions. Superman might have survived the events of Man of Steel, but its obvious that a potential sequel to the 2013 epic would need to introduce at least some minor plot points related to Clark Kents death and eventual resurrection.

One thing that we have to keep in mind, despite Zack Snyders spectacular directing job, is that Man of Steel is an action flick first and foremost. Therefore, some elements relating to Clarks life outside his iconic Superman costume are kept to a minimum compared to the more bombastic action setpieces we see in the film.

Maybe thats why Supermans romance with Lois Lane feels a bit rushed in the first film. By Batman v Superman, it seems almost like Lois and Clark have been married for ages, while the truth is that we barely know what they have in common, other than the external knowledge that Superman loves Lois Lane in the comics.

A proper Man of Steel sequel could go deeper into what makes their relationship work. Theres a lot of chemistry between Henry Cavill and Amy Adams, thats for sure, so seeing them together again in another Superman solo film would be just what fans of the franchise are waiting for. At the very least, they make a much better couple than Margot Robbie and Jared Leto. Or Jared Leto and anyone else, to be honest.

If there was one thing that the original Man of Steel could have used a bit more of, that would have been real personal stakes for Superman to fight Zod. Sure, he saves Metropolis from the Kryptonians out of a sense of duty, but the hero lacks any personal motivations for doing so.

A sequel to Man of Steel would need to evaluate Supermans actions in the first movie through an objective lens. Why didnt Superman take the fight away from the city, where the superpowered men with capes flying around wouldnt be able to bring down so many skyscrapers?

Theres also the matter of Superman resorting to breaking his golden rule to end Zods onslaught. Killing another person (even worse, a fellow Kryptonian) must have had some serious psychological effects on Supes, so it would be great if we got to see if he continues to see himself as a hero after the events of Man of Steel. Outside of the Justice League movies, of course but, as we know, Superman is more or less a glorified deus ex machina in most of the DCEU films anyways.

With most of the remaining Kryptonians either dead or trapped in the Phantom Zone, things are looking pretty lonely for Superman at the end of Man of Steel. While it seems like Kal-El was meant to be the only surviving Kryptonian in the DCEU, long-time DC fans know for sure that there must be more Kryptonians around.

A Man of Steel sequel could introduce some of the most notable Kryptonians from DCs publication history, including Kara Zor-El, better known as Supergirl. Even if there are really no more Kryptonians left in the DCEU, those sent to the Phantom Zone might eventually make it out of the pocket dimension, and theyre more than likely to want a rematch with the Man of Steel.

A vital piece to the puzzle of what the future of a potential Man of Steel saga would have looked like lies in the Kryptonian Codex and Jor-Els plan to save the Kryptonian species. Even though we might see Jor-El as an altruistic character mostly because he opposes Zod, the truth is that the scientist might have had other plans for humanity all along.

For starters, Jor-El and Zod have the same objective: to save what remains of Krypton. The difference is that Jor-El prefers a much less violent approach one that could take centuries to complete. The unification of human and Kryptonian DNA made possible thanks to Kal-Els merging with the Kryptonian Codex would have made any descendant of Clark Kent almost entirely Kryptonian. In the end, Jor-Els plan was a sort of long-term terraforming of Earth. Again, same objective, vastly different plans.

Does this make Jor-El a villain in the long run? Maybe not; but, at the very least, he could still be considered a morally grey character that does whatever is needed to ensure the survival of his species. A sequel to Man of Steel, much like the sequels to the original Superman back in the eighties, could have explored Supermans relationship with his Kryptonian roots, not to mention with his biological father.

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5 Man of Steel Questions That Could Be Answered In Sequels - Fortress of Solitude