Monthly Archives: July 2021

Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has a face that smiles at rest. When she is speaking, it is with a constant grin, one that only falters when she talks about some of the difficult circumstances she and other African women have gone through in their quest for sexual liberation. She speaks to me from her home city of Accra, Ghana, where she says no one is surprised that she has written a book about sex. As a blogger, author and self-described positive sex evangelist, she has been collecting and recording the sexual experiences of African women for more than a decade. Her new book, The Sex Lives of African Women, is an anthology of confessional accounts from across the African continent and the diaspora. The stories are sorted into three sections: self-discovery, freedom and healing. Each sex life is told in the subjects own words. The result is a book that takes the reader into the beds of polygamous marriages in Senegal, to furtive lesbian hookups in toilets in Cairo and polyamorous clubs in the United States, but without any sensationalism or essentialism. Her ambition, in the book as in life, is to create more space for African women to have open and honest conversations about sex and sexuality.

Sekyiamah was born in London to Ghanaian parents in a polygamous relationship, but grew up in Ghana. Her formative years in Accra were under a patriarchal, conservative, Catholic regime that instilled in her a fear of sex and all its potential dangers pregnancy, shame, becoming a fallen woman. I remember once my period didnt come, she recalls. I was in Catholic school at the time, and I would go to the convent every day and pray, because I thought that meant I was pregnant. From the moment she reached puberty she was told: Now you have your period, youre a woman, you cant let guys touch you. That was always in my head. Later, she was told: If you leave your marriage no one else is going to want you. If you have a child as a single woman men are going to think of you just as a sexual object and not a potential partner. Her mother would only speak to her about sex in cautionary ways. The idea of messing with boys was so scary to me. It kept me a virgin for years and years.

In her late teens, Sekyiamah moved to the UK to study and began reading feminist literature. She realised how much all that terror stopped her, and other women, from owning their bodies, their pleasure and, by extension, from taking up their place in the world. She moved back to Ghana and, in 2009, co-founded a blog, Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women. I started sharing my own personal stories, my own experiences, and encouraging other women to share their own stories. So the blog became a collective space for African women, whether they were in the continent or in the diaspora, to just think aloud, share experiences, to learn from one another. The blog was a hit, and was deluged with submissions from African woman sharing their stories of love and erotica. It won prestigious awards in Ghana and earned Sekyiamah and her co-founder, Malaka Grant, international recognition. But after a while, she began to want to read, and write, something longer. She realised that people have no idea about the reality of African womens experiences when it comes to sex and sexuality. I feel like people always think of African women as repressed or constantly pregnant or they dont have sanitary towels or theyve been cut [genitally mutilated]. I was learning about the breadth of our experiences through the blog, and so I thought: I want to write a book about the experiences of African women.

She had to scale back her ambitions, which were Africa-wide. When I started, I wanted to interview African women from every country on the continent, and I gradually realised that wasnt realistic. She doubted the stories would ever see the light, anyway. Honestly, as somebody living in Ghana where we dont have a publishing industry, I thought: Will this book ever get published? I used to live with that fear. She submitted two interviews to an anthology in the hope that they would spark interest in the book. She neednt have worried. Even before the anthology came out, I got my book deal.

The interviews came about in a variety of ways. Sometimes she would find subjects through her travels, but she also issued a callout on social media for people living their best sex lives. The stories came from across sub-Saharan Africa and the African diaspora in the west, instalments of sexual awakening, frustration, and ultimately, a sort of freedom. What they share is an ease, uninhibitedness, sexual fluency and familiarity with the narrators bodies and sexual and romantic needs, often in situations that seem incongruent with sexual agency.

What emerges is a sort of intimate community of voices across more than 30 countries. The process of interviewing these women made me closer to them. The vast majority of them Im still connected with. It helped that Sekyiamah had written about her own experiences so honestly and frankly, as a Ghanaian bisexual woman whose own explorations included physical intimacy with other girls at school and polyamory, before marrying and then finding the strength to leave her husband. Now, she describes herself as a solo polyamorist, meaning someone who has multiple relationships but maintains an independent or single lifestyle. Some of the women were familiar with the stories I had been writing. They knew I was a feminist. They know Im not coming from a position where Im going to judge them and their choices.

Their motivations for telling their own intimate stories, albeit mostly anonymously, were often political. Some were feminists who felt it was important for the story to be out there, she says. Others just wanted to get negative experiences off their chests. There was a time when I was feeling a little bit depressed because a lot of people were telling me about child sexual abuse. And that was heavy stuff. The result is that what started as a celebration ended up being a much more sober affair.

Sexual assault is almost ubiquitous in the anthology. It is mentioned at times almost in passing, with an alarming casualness that is revealing of how resigned many African women are to its inevitability. But Sekyiamah believes there is a power in sharing these stories. Whatever African women have gone through, she says, we are definitely not anomalies, and it is terrible that so many women experience child sexual abuse and abuse of all sorts and forms. But also, people survive their abuse. And for me, the lesson that I took away was the importance of making space and time for healing, whatever that healing looks like. And it looks different for so many women. For some it was being an activist and speaking up about womens rights. For some it was: I am going to be celibate for a hundred days and then it becomes a thousand. For some it was a spiritual journey. For others it was actually sex itself [that] was healing, losing themselves in their bodies.

There were some people she interviewed who made her think: Oh my God, youve cracked the code! Youre living your best sex life. They had mostly stopped caring about what other people thought. Those were generally the kind of people that would be seen as living outside societal norms. They tended not to be heterosexual, they tended not to be monogamous, they tended to be queer folk, poly people. And I feel like theres something about just figuring out who you are and what will work for you, and trying to, in a sense, put all the noise of society out of your head. That was the thing that I took away. And its not a linear journey. Theres no formula to it, she believes. To some, it can be about confronting child sexual abuse, to others, it could be about moving on. I dont feel like everyone has to open up trauma and look at it and touch it.

Her intention was to de-cliche the sex lives of African women, and she feels that to a large extent I was able to achieve that. But in the process she also discovered her own stereotypical assumptions. For example, I used to think all women who had been cut could not have pleasurable sex. And I was interviewing this woman who had been cut who was describing this amazing sexual experience and my mind was blown. In my head, I was like, but you dont have a clitoris, and I was thinking, how can I ask this question? The woman reminded her that the clitoris goes up in your body. And I was embarrassed, because I know this rationally.

Sekyiamahs book has been compared to Three Women, Lisa Taddeos 2019 word-of-mouth hit following the sex lives of three American women. It is a comparison she is aware of but clearly, in the most good-humoured way possible, rejects. Look, I loved Three Women, she says, but insists that her book is definitely not The African Three Women. Theres no comparison. [Taddeo] does an in-depth dive with three women and I really wanted a breadth. What is important for us is that we have multiple experiences even in the same lifetime. I wanted to include that type of fluidity and I felt that I could only do that by showing a range.

Central to that range is the spectrum of romantic and sexual arrangements African woman have. Because of her upbringing, Sekyiamah feels that she has a perspective that isnt blinkered by expectations of monogamy. I wanted to show that there are different forms of relationships. Because even for me, as someone who is an outcome of a polygamous marriage, it was kind of a surprise to speak to a contemporary African woman who had chosen to enter into a polygamous marriage. We need to validate all the different ways in which people create families. I dont think the children of heterosexual marriages are happier than children of queer or polygamous marriages. I know this from my own life.

It is of course an impossible task, no matter how large the sample size, to capture the entire range and nuance of African womens sex lives. Sekyiamahs intention is less to complete an exhaustive chronicle, than it is to send a very specific message to a specific readership. I had an audience in mind, she says, firmly. Particularly, she had black women and African women in mind. Both on the continent and in the diaspora. I wanted them to know that there are other ways of being, and those ways of being are about what works for you.

In that sense, the stories have given her renewed hope and resolve in her own life. Despite being taught from a young age to fear her period, to fear pregnancy out of wedlock, divorce, single motherhood, she experienced all of them and is thriving. She lives with her 16-month-old daughter in Accra, surrounded by a strong feminist community, and feels her primary job as a feminist mum is to preserve her daughters fearless spirit. Any doubts or insecurities about the path she has chosen were eliminated in the process of interviewing women for her book. As a single woman in your 40s you kind of wonder, what is it going to be like for me in 20 or 30 years? So it was nice to meet the woman in her 70s who had fallen in love in her late 60s. Its possible. Theres time. You dont need to rush.

The Sex Lives of African Women by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah (Dialogue, 18.99). To support the Guardian and the Observer buy a copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

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Polygamy in Senegal, lesbian hookups in Cairo: inside the sex lives of African women - The Guardian

Picture Above: USF St. Petersburg Regional Chancellor Martin Tadlock was as surprised as anyone when President Steve Currall announced his retirement from the presidency on July 19. Now, Currall hopes Tadlock will extend his time as regional chancellor through June 30, 2022.

Martha Rhine | The Crows Nest

By Michael Alden

Regional Chancellor Martin Tadlock announced on Thursday he is negotiating with the USF administration to potentially extend his role into next year.

Speaking at the first in-person campus community forum in over a year on issues of campus stability, enrollment numbers and budget, Tadlock told those in attendance he may retain his current position beyond Dec. 31 to help search for candidates for several university positions.

President Currall has asked that I extend my time as regional chancellor through June 30, 2022, which will allow the time needed for a national search for a new regional chancellor and vice chancellor for academic affairs vice provost, Tadlock said. Im working with him on the details of that agreement.

Speaking with The Crows Nest, Tadlock affirmed that the extension is still under consideration and has not been finalized.

Its not a done deal. Its an ongoing conversation. Theres a lot of considerations related to personal and family concerns as well, he said. Then professionally, yes, I want to make sure this campus is in a good place. That is definitely a concern. Thats why Im considering staying until the end of June to help that happen.

President Steve Currall unexpectedly announced his retirement on Monday, effective Aug. 2. He cited health and family as reasons for his resignation. His two-year tenure as president will be the shortest in university history.

Tadlock said he was as surprised as anyone by the resignation and he received the same announcement as everyone else.

He wasnt surprised, however, that Currall asked him to extend his role as regional chancellor of the St. Petersburg campus.

Currall reached out to Tadlock after announcing his departure plans earlier this week.

We had actually mentioned that as a possibility a couple of months ago, Tadlock said.

He anticipates the negotiations will be resolved before Curralls departure.

Hes president until Aug. 2, Tadlock said. I would think whatever we finally arrive at in terms of a possible extension will be done before then.

Tadlock announced in January he would be stepping down from his position on Dec. 31 and return to teaching at the College of Education. He initially declined a one-year extension from July 2020 to July 2021 and opted instead for a six-month extension to give the university time to search for a successor.

He has been credited by faculty and students for his level-headed approach to university challenges such as consolidation and the COVID-19 pandemic.

Tadlock sees the search to fill university positions as critical to maintaining campus stability.

We will be moving these searches forward and pursuing people who have experience, who understand this campus, this place and this city, he said. Coming into those roles will be important to the stability of this campus.

Whoever the next president may be, Tadlock assured they will have full support from the university.

The support of a president lies on people in the community, the board of trustees, and the vice presidents and leadership teams. The presidential position, in my opinion, is not an island unto itself, Tadlock said. The president works with a whole array of constituents. All of the administration officials they work with have a responsibility to help the president be successful. No one can do that job on their own.

Tadlock attempted to calm fears during Thursdays forum and reassure faculty and staff that the future of the St. Petersburg campus remains promising.

I know there is a lot of uncertainty with the departure of a president who chose to take a different direction for his life and career. Those things happen, Tadlock said. What matters here is what I tried to say earlier. Dont get down, dont get in the ditch. Stay above it.

USF is great. Its a nationally-ranked rising university with all the accolades, Tadlock said. Consolidation is a work in progress Well continue to work toward that model that we all want to see that will make this the kind of place we want to stay and be.

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Tadlock considering extension to his role in St. Petersburg The Crow's Nest at USF St. Petersburg - The Crow's Nest

If youre clocking the recommended 7 to 8 hours of shut-eye per night, that adds up to around 50 hours per week of your life spent snoozingand thats a pretty significant amount of time for your body to spend in any position. While theres no one right sleeping position for everyone, if you have chronic pain, it is possible that youre sleeping in the wrong way, so to speak, and worsening the discomfort youre feeling during the daytime. To that end, the best sleeping positions for different types of pain typically revolve around aligning your body in a way that removes undue pressure from any associated nerves and joints, says rheumatologist and internist Jonathan M. Greer, MD.

Sleeping on the stomach is a big culprit when it comes to exacerbating neck and back pain, as it causes an unnatural extension of the spine. Jonathan M. Greer, MD

To start, Dr. Greers top recommendation across the board for anyone who suffers from any kind of back or neck pain is to remove stomach-sleeping from the equation. Sleeping on the stomach is a big culprit when it comes to exacerbating neck and back pain, he says, as it causes an unnatural extension of the spine. Not to mention, it can trigger numbness or tingling in the arms due to nerve compression, says physical-medicine and rehabilitation doctor Jaspal R. Singh, MD.

But before we get into the back and side sleeping positions that work best for different pain scenarios, a quick word about what exactly youre sleeping on, as that plays a big role in sleep comfort, too: You can let go of the common refrain about an ultra-firm mattress being best for those with back pain. In actuality, I recommend a medium-soft mattress for anyone with back pain, and for those who already have a hard mattress, adding a pillow top or egg-crate mattress topper to remove some of the pressure points that can happen otherwise, says Dr. Greer. Just be sure you dont go too soft, as you dont want to be sinking deep into the mattress either, adds Dr. Singh.

A similar goldilocks situation applies to your pillow (or multiple pillows), which can also affect your overall sleeping positionand whether it works with or against your body. This is particularly important when it comes to upper-back and neck pain, says Dr. Greer: A neck pillow or contour pillow that conforms to the shape of the neck helps extend the neck and prevent it from slipping into a compressed position while you sleep.

In both cases, however, its important to let comfort be your guide, according to Dr. Greer: I always say, if youre doing any kind of exercise or activity that creates or worsens some kind of pain, its a signal that you need to adjust," he says, "and that applies to your mattress, pillow, and sleeping position, as well.

And while were at it, dont forget about your daytime posture and alignment, too, adds Dr. Singh, which can, of course, trigger or exacerbate spine pain in just the same way that a bad sleeping position can. Its essential to maintain a good, ergonomic workstation and a highly mobile lifestyle, frequently changing positions, rather than sitting in one spot all day, in order to bring blood flow and nutrients to the spine, he says.

Lying flat on your back with your legs outstretched can cause unnatural extension of the spine leading to pain, says Dr. Greer. Instead, both he and Dr. Singh suggest lying on your side with your legs bent (toward your stomach, in the direction of a fetal position) with a pillow sandwiched between your knees. Supporting and aligning the hips in this way will take pressure off your spine, says Dr. Singh.

If, however, you strongly prefer to lie on your back, you can do so in a more spine-supportive way by propping a pillow beneath your lower legs (as noted for anyone with hip pain below). Another option: Consider an adjustable bed that bends upward a bit, so that youre not lying fully flat, but instead, a bit more upright. "Elevating the head above the feet, similar to how you would in a recliner, can remove some pressure from the lower part of the back, and help with snoring, too," says Dr. Singh.

As a precautionary note, if your back pain is regularly keeping you awake or persists longer than three weeks, its worth getting it evaluated by a medical professional, says Dr. Greer. And the same goes if youre experiencing recurring numbness or tingling radiating down a leg, which could be a sign of a pinched nerve.

Because lying on your side may worsen hip pain, its best to try sleeping on your back with your legs slightly propped up by way of a pillow placed under the knees. The bony prominence that sticks out of the hip called the greater trochanter has a sack of fluid on top called a bursa, says Dr. Greer, which can often get aggravated when you lie on one side all night, especially if youre on a hard mattressand that can cause inflammation called bursitis. Choosing a back-sleeping position can help you avoid that.

You can choose either your back or your sideits a matter of personal preference and comfort, in this casebut be sure to select your pillow carefully, as noted above. A pillow made specifically to conform to the necks natural shape will be your best bet. You dont want to go with multiple pillows under the neck or no pillow at all, as either option can cause unnatural extension, says Dr. Singh.

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Heres the Sleeping Position Thats Right for You Based on Your Aches and Pains - Well+Good

Story and photos by Steve Lenz

Photography is many things to me. Primarily it is storytelling. It is a way to take a slice of time, freeze it and share that moment with others.

Often those moments are obvious such as your child blowing out their birthday candles or the kiss in a wedding ceremony. Yet, there are fascinating dramatic moments going on all around us all the time that escape our gaze because of the scale they exist on.

Macro photography is one of the most fascinating forms of the hobby. It brings us into this small, overlooked world and shows us the incredible lives of the miniature. It gives us a window into the existential stories that all life shares.

A great stress relief for me is to grab my camera and explore the miniature universe and its stories: A fruit fly that looks like an alien visitor sunning itself on a leaf; A jumping spider waiting to ambush unsuspecting prey, catching them midflight; The smallest North American ant species all rising in unison across the valley to form clouds of mating queens and drones.

The camera equipment to capture this small world is readily available in a wide array of options. There are small macro adapters for cell phones, point and shoot cameras with specific macro features, and expensive professional camera lenses.

My preferred setup is a Canon 5D Mark 3 with a 100mm 2.8 macro lens, an extension tube, and an off-camera flash either handheld or mounted on a flexible bracket.

Techniques and equipment are as variable as the subjects you are photographing. Ive seen people modify empty Pringles cans into flash attachments or print color patterns on 8.5x11 sheets to use as backdrops. This DIY nature and spirit is one of the fun parts of macro photography and helps bring it within reach of anyone with a camera.

Possibly the most important technique is how one finds their subjects. I have always had a love for nature and science, a love for how all of this universe works and fits together in a fantastic functional puzzle of subatomic, molecular, cellular and organismic pieces. This love has driven a curiosity in me that leads to finding my subjects and wanting to understand how they live their lives, what we may have in common.

Find what you love and tell its story.

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Behind the Lenz: The art of small things in macro photography - Walla Walla Union-Bulletin

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