Monthly Archives: October 2019

Actress Charlize Theron has her own way of raising her kids! When she attended ELLEs Women in Hollywood Celebration on Monday, October 14, she revealed all the best lessons that she tries to teach her kids as they get older.

You know, I think a big thing for me is kindness and knowing we live by our religion, which is do unto others the way you want to be done to you, she told Closer Weekly and other reporters at the star-studded event at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. So were big on respect and thinking of others before we think of ourselves.

Charlize, 44, is a proud parent to her two adorable kids Jackson, 7, and August, 4. In an April 2019 interview with The Daily Mail, theMonster star opened up about her oldest child being transgender and how she dealt with that.

[My kids] were born who they are and exactly where in the world both of them get to find themselves as they grow up, and who they want to be, is not for me to decide, Charlize said. My job as a parent is to celebrate them and to love them and to make sure that they have everything they need in order to be what they want to be. And I will do everything in my power for my kids to have that right and to be protected within that.

Charlize learned everything that she knows from her own mother, Gerda Jacoba Aletta Maritz, and she hopes to carry on Gerdas lessons with her two kids. The last thing the Oscar winner wants is for Jackson and August to not have the ability to open up and express themselves.

I grew up in a country where people lived with half-truths and lies and whispers and nobody said anything outright, and I was raised very specifically not to be like that, Charlize explained. I was taught by my mom that you have to speak up; you have to be able to know that, when this life is over, youll have lived the truth youre comfortable with, and that nothing negative can come from that.

Charlizes kids are so lucky to have this lovely woman as their mom!

See the original post here:

Charlize Theron Kids Are Being Taught the Golden Rule By Mom - Closer Weekly

To the editor: Letter writers bemused by evangelical Christians support for President Trump seem to be missing the entire picture.

Not one Democratic presidential candidate is antiabortion, and President Trump is. People who are against abortion will not vote for a president who does not support defending the life of a child in the womb.

Its that simple. This is what evangelical Christians believe, that all people have the God-given right to life.

How on Earth can these letter writers substantiate that their claim that Trump is un-Christian? In fact, evangelical Christians are backing the only candidate running for president who supports life.

Karen Strickland, Palm Springs

..

To the editor: No doubt the Los Angeles Times never runs short of letters pondering how religious conservatives can so reliably side with a president whose immorality dwarfs that of most (if not all) of his predecessors.

Whats with those devout souls? Shouldnt they prefer a president who abides by the biblical mandate to do unto others as they do unto him? Trumps manifold well-documented sins suggest that he disdains the Golden Rule.

Those true believers who so blindly back Trump need divine intervention. Lets pray for their deliverance from the wilderness of willful ignorance, lest they flounder in the fog of cognitive dissonance.

Edward Alston, Santa Maria

Read more here:

Trump is anti-abortion. That alone explains why Christians favor him - Los Angeles Times

Is there a measurement for shame? What would you call it if it existed? A shamemometer? If we had one, it would explode for this biker in Portland. Probably an evangelist that thinks everyone should be on bicycles, he decided to show all his rage and courage against a mother with two small kids apparently in a Toyota RAV4. All captured by TeslaCam.

17 Photos

The action in the video happens on the crossing between Southeast 12th Avenue and Southeast Ankeny Street. The avenue has a lot of traffic. There are too many cars already on the following block, especially in the left lane.

People then stop to allow the cars that are coming from the Southeast Ankeny Street to keep going. Never block an intersection is a golden rule.

The problem is that this biker believes he can just cross the avenue without stopping or even yielding. The lady he later yells at is on the right lane. Traffic is coming from the left, so she has a bad view of it, even being in a high-seating vehicle. She goes ahead when he is passing, but she stops when she sees him.

When you think there is nothing left to see and the cars have merged into East Burnside Street, the biker blows the red light and comes towards the filming Tesla and the RAV4 right behind it yelling obscenities. He is also probably trying to work out both his middle fingers by repeatedly raising them.

As the video description from the Garron Crash Haun explains, he is utterly wrong. He is the one that has disrespected traffic signs at least twice, in the video. He is the one that believes he is entitled to God knows what even being wrong. Would he do the same if the car was driven by a guy as big as the one that made "Panic" guy recently fly from a Tesla Model 3? How ridiculous can that be?

We are sorry for the lady and the kids in the car. They have witnessed human madness in a rather pathetic and dangerous example. If you love bikes, dont be this guy. Even if you hate cars, dont be like him. You make no point in rushing in the middle of the street yelling with your middle fingers raised except that you should seek psychiatric help.

Please note, the lady in the vehicle did stop for the biker and was a few feet away from him. That being said, the biker did not yield at the stop sign and went right out into moving traffic. This was his "road rage" at a lady with two young kids in the car.

In Oregon, Bikers are allowed to treat stop signs as yield under certain conditions however he did not enter the intersection in a safe way, yield to traffic, and failed to exercise care to avoid an accident. You can see this while he crosses and when he runs out into traffic on foot.

Oregon Law: https://bikeportland.org/2019/06/25/o...

No one was hurt.

Happened in Portland.

View original post here:

No, Biker, You Do Not Have The Right To Pass Whenever You Want - InsideEVs

What is the center of your personal theology? What is the one thing that you believe in most deeply? What is the one truth you hold to, when all else is taken away, that is still there to sustain you and give your life meaning?

What is the center of your personal theology? What is the one thing that you believe in most deeply? What is the one truth you hold to, when all else is taken away, that is still there to sustain you and give your life meaning?

The answer can be somewhat different for each of us. Perhaps, its the Beatitudes or the great commandment, love of God and love of neighbor. Some of us might consider that it is some version of the Golden Rule that is life-sustaining, doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. Maybe some would say that love of family and community is what remains when all else is taken away. Some would turn to the natural world and see themselves rooted in all of life in its beauty and complexity. And there are others that would see compassion and selflessness, working for a just a peaceful world as that which gives their lives meaning.

These are all fairly lofty ideals. They are wonderful things to speak of and to contemplate and can serve us well at the center of what is most sacred. But, perhaps a more difficult question I would pose is, When other people observe us, what would they see as the center of our theology, our personal vision? Would the things we say we believe in be evident by how we live?

This is where it gets more tricky, for the ideals we speak of are not always the values we live by. To what degree would people see our ideals, lofty as they might be, and how much would they see the shadow side of our personality; a little self-centeredness and greed perhaps, a lack of openness and caring, a tendency toward violence in thought, speech or action, a disregard for others who are different in appearance or ideas, more regard for possessions and financial resources that care for ourselves or others? How much would some of those more negative traits show through?

A colleague and friend of mine, the Rev. Victor Carpenter, was once asked what was at the center of his theology. He responded with the words, The Fundamental Yes. These words grabbed me. An affirmative and affirming vision, a theology of Yes, has inspired and called me for a long time.

It can be easy sometimes to see our faith rooted in a theology of No, a theology of an angry god, a theology framed more around judgement and punishment. The Fundamental Yes, for me, is a theology that faces the world with open eyes, an open mind and an open heart; a vision that looks for goodness and wholeness with a vital focus on who and what we can be, It is a way of looking at ourselves and the world that mostly lifts up accomplishment while also acknowledges failing.

This is a courageous theology and one fraught with vulnerability as we allow ourselves to be stretched by new ideas, to be broken open by new experiences and to be transformed by our actions in the world.

Our God, our faith, can hold and support us as we look at the world with open eyes with courage and hope in our hearts. The Fundamental Yes calls us to face our fears about people who are different from us and listen to their stories, recognizing that we are not so different after all. The Fundamental Yes asks us to work diligently for justice, fairness and equity, stepping boldly, bravely, out of our own complacency, out of our own safety sometimes, to make a difference in the lives of other people and this fragile planet we call home. The Fundamental Yes calls us to be truthtellers, lovingly and with compassion, without glossing over or hiding, or minimizing what we observe, risking, reflecting back what we see with open eyes.

And, perhaps most importantly, the Fundamental Yes expects us to be peacemakers, those who strive to reject violence in all of its forms, first in our own hearts and then letting our light shine in wider and wider circles, promoting cooperation and the free exchange of ideas. Imagine what the world would be like if this was how we lived?

Spiritually Speaking is presented by members of the Plymouth Area Interfaith Community Alliance. The Rev. Arthur Lavoie is the minister at First Parish in Plymouth, Unitarian Universalist.

See more here:

SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING: The Fundamental Yes - News - Wicked Local

CARTHAGE, Mo. As for most kids, middle school was tough for Chris Scheufele.

Scheufele says he was a tall, gangling kid, growing up in the mean schools of Baltimore, Maryland, and he dealt with bullies.

Unlike many of his peers, Scheufele figured out a way to cope with those bullies. Now he travels the country teaching students how to deal with bullies with a program of comedy and personal interaction.

Scheufele, known by his nickname, Shoof, is a motivational speaker from Omaha, Nebraska, with his program on bullying called Chris in the Classroom.

He was also a music teacher for 10 years in all grades from kindergarten to high school.

Scheufele was in Carthage on Thursday and Friday speaking to students at Carthage Junior High, the Carthage Intermediate Center and three of the elementary schools about how to deal with bullies and how to talk about bullying.

For so long, the traditional ways of dealing with bullying weve all been taught walk away, ignore it, tell an adult, or grandpas old advice, take it outside, settle it that way, Scheufele said. When I was teaching, kids would come to me and say, 'Its not working. If I walk away, they just follow me. If I ignore it ...' well you cant solve a problem that you ignore. If you fight back, you get in more trouble because you started the fight. If you tell an adult, the adult gets the other kid in trouble but that doesnt really solve the conflict.

His program got a passing grade from Carthage High School senior Emma Nicholas, who saw Scheufeles talk to Carthage Junior High seventh graders on Thursday while volunteering at the junior high.

It was honestly one of the better bullying assemblies Ive been to because there was more interaction with people than just a lecture about bullying, Nicholas said. I feel like there was a lot more student interaction because it was fun, and he made it fun and there were more activities to do. Yeah, bullying is something you see every day, everywhere, no matter where you go. You see it at work, you see it at school, some kids even see it at home.

Victim-proofing kids

Scheufele said his program works to teach kids how to cope with someone who is bullying them by controlling their reactions dont get upset at the bully because thats what the bully wants and by treating the bully with respect and civility.

If theyre picking on you, theyre doing it because they like seeing your reaction, Scheufele said. Once I realized that as a kid, I realized, 'OK, Im the one who can control my reaction.' Doing some digging in the psychology and sociology world now, thats backed up in the science.

"And the thing that really wins it and cinches it, is to use the golden rule. And I know weve all heard: Treat others the way you want to be treated. But thats not just for the mean people to hear. When you respond with at least respect and civility in the face of all that junk that a bully is throwing at you, it works. It freezes them. I do a little game with the kids where I show them it shuts them down. Once I figured that out, things got a lot better.

Dont call it bullying

Another problem with the effort to fight bullying is that word: bully.

Scheufele said the legal criteria for bullying used by most states and school districts is an act that is repeated over time, shows an imbalance of power and with an intent to cause harm.

Scheufele said in real life, the word has become shorthand for any case of someone being mean to someone else.

My newest book is called the Big Bad B Word, and the premise of it is the word 'bully' has gotten so out of hand as any counselor, any administrator will tell you, Scheufele said. I was in an elementary school where a second grader complained that he was being bullied, and I was standing right there. The counselor asked, 'Well what happened?' He said a fifth grader stuck his tongue out at me. It was like, 'OK, this is getting out of hand.' I was at another elementary school where the teacher told her kids bullying is anything from a mean look to the Holocaust.

He said people who think they are victims of bullying need to stop using the word and start describing exactly what happened to them.

I encourage schools, quit using it, Scheufele said. I dont care if it fits in those three criteria, get rid of the word because its not helpful. What is helpful describe the exact behavior. If theyre calling you names, say, 'Theyre calling you names.' If they push you, say, 'They pushed me.' Im not talking about things like assault. Thats obviously different. But if its things like pushing and shoving, rumors, name-calling, call it what it is because then the counselor or administrator can help you solve that.

Administration reaction

Carthage Junior High Principal Jenny Bogle said Scheufele was correct about how the word bully is being used nowadays.

Bullying is a repeated pattern of behavior where someone is repeatedly not nice to someone else or is targeting someone else, Bogle said. Thats not always whats happening when someone uses the word bullying. Its great advice from him to describe the behavior. This message is supporting what our counselors and our teachers work with our kids on. Its the same message coming from a different voice.

Carthage Intermediate Center counselor Travis Bolin said he saw Scheufele speak at the Sarcoxie School District a few weeks ago and suggested to the Carthage school counselors that they bring him here.

Hes very funny, Bolin said. When we talk about bullying or confrontation or social skills is very dry. They zone out,and even though they know me, if I talk about it, they might not get as much out of it as if Chris talks about it. Hes someone different coming in. They think hes an expert he knows more. I think Chris is very presentable, he does this four days a week or so. Hes very good at it, and I think our boys and girls enjoyed it.

More:

Speaker teaches kids how to cope with bullying - Joplin Globe

For a foreign-born writer, it isnt easy to explain Japan. You may rail against its numerous social ills, but outrage alone can turn into shtick. You may delight in what is different from the West and get pummeled on social media as a dinosaur Orientalist. Many writers then play it safe, writing about all things cute or rattling off facts for Japanophiles a group prone to claiming ownership, watchful that you get it right.

A Beginners Guide to Japan: Observations and Provocations, by Pico Iyer.224 pagesKNOPF, Nonfiction.

And then there is Pico Iyer, who has made his own genre. Born in England to Indian parents and based in Nara, Japan, for more than three decades, Iyer has published numerous essays and novels, amassing a devoted fan base that, much like his writing, encircles the globe. His new book, a labor of love spanning 16 years and backed up by thousands of pages of notes, is a collection of thoughts titled A Beginners Guide to Japan: Observations and Provocations.

Japan beguiles me by being such a mix of the foreign and the familiar, Iyer explains in a recent interview. I wanted to be true to both sides, and to the notion that Japan teaches me daily: that every thought and feeling is fleeting. What I think at 10 in the morning is rarely what I think at two in the afternoon. My feelings change like the clouds.

In this spirit, Iyers guide to Japan is insightful and profound without claiming to be authoritative. It offers short musings and facts, epigrams and vignettes grouped by theme such as social mores, gender relations or Japans interaction with the world most of which gently land without comment. Avoiding the expert trap, Iyer sees them as opening salvos, inviting readers to expand or refute them.

I worked hard to make this new book an invitation to a dialogue, because to me dialogue is much more the Japanese way than monologue, says Iyer. I wanted to give a foreign outsider a chance to talk back to Japan, as if she had landed at Kansai Airport the night before.

Despite his genuine humility, Iyer can nail Japan with lyrical eloquence. Calling the country the home of collected inwardness or quipping that Japan has trained all of us to deal with everything except exceptions, he sounds equally critical and forgiving.

Always mindful of describing a hall of mirrors, Iyer shifts nimbly between perspectives, embracing inconsistency like a sage. The only people in the world today who dont learn from Japan are the Japanese, he quotes the sculptor Isamu Noguchi (1904-88). Lest you think the stasis is a problem, though, he follows up with the artist Robert Rauschenberg (1925-2008), who said that Having to be different is the same trap as having to be the same.

Watching Iyer command his material, eventually readers may pause. Having lived in Japan for so long and gained a deep insight into the culture, why does he consider himself a Japan beginner? With a country that is so difficult to render fully, is an insider level at all possible?

Im not sure expert knowledge is desirable, says Iyer, admitting that some may be irked by his stance. It means that the relationship is over, in some senses, as is the conversation. I love Japan precisely because I can never have the illusion of knowing it, as I do, to some extent, with England. I feel that not-knowing ushers us into a much larger and more intimate space.

But we live in an age of mastering data, where cultural competence is expected and any hint of Japanese mystique can push peoples buttons. Perhaps inevitably, earlier this year, Iyer found himself chastised on social media as he promoted his book Autumn Light: Season of Fire and Farewells.

The provocation, at least to assimilated expats, was the outsider status that Iyer admits he nurtures. Hes never worked for a Japanese company, speaks Japanese as a 2-year-old girl might, and stays in Nara on a tourist visa to remind himself of his own apartness. All of this greatly incensed the Twitterverse, much of which snubbed Iyers golden rule when discussing Japan as a foreigner: never take yourself too seriously.

Instead of trying to understand Japan, one might try to learn from the Japanese gift of being unanalytical and less binary, and living calmly with all one cannot understand, Iyer says without any grudge. What one loves, for me, is inherently what one can never claim to understand fully, or come to the end of. I feel that about my wife, and my adopted home.

This of course doesnt mean that Iyer will ever stop trying. As in the Japanese saying that the reverse also has a reverse, he aims forever to get things just right.

While I was working on the two new books, he says, laughing, Id sometimes go out to get some yogurt from my local supermarket, and come across 10 new details that either I felt I needed to add, or that contradicted what I had just written. I hope that continues forever.

The rest is here:

Can you ever really understand Japan? Pico Iyer offers help - The Japan Times

By Spinal Column Staff | on October 16, 2019

Brooks Gibbs

Brooks Gibbs, an award-winning social skills educator and popular youth speaker, will give the keynote speech at the Western Oakland County Parenting Fair Saturday, November 2 at Walled Lake Northern High School.

The event runs from 7:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Its geared to parents, guardians, educators, teachers, administrators and childcare workers.

Gibbs has presented 2,500 speeches, teaches youth how to be emotionally resilient and encourages them to live by the Golden Rule. He has a number of viral videos.

He said, Im going to teach you how to really raise an emotionally healthy child who is emotionally resilient and kind. We can empower our kids not to get upset by the mean actions of others. Ive got massive content Im excited to deliver back in my hometown.

Gibbs also wants to be sure the educational process continues after this event. He added, I will give my full Raise them Strong online program absolutely free ($50 value) to everyone who registers so you can learn more at home and also share content made just for your children.

Offerings also include two separate tracks and three rounds of breakout sessions by a dozen-plus presenters.

This event is hosted in partnership with the PTAs and staff from Bloomfield Hills Schools, Farmington Public Schools, Oakland County Community College, the Oakland County Youth Assistance, Oakland Schools, Novi Schools, Walled Lake Schools and West Bloomfield Schools.

Pre-registration is encouraged, tickets are $15 online or $25 at the door.

For more information on sponsorship donations, program details, or to register, visit http://www.wlcsd.org/parentingfair.

The rest is here:

Social skills educator to speak at Western Oakland County Parenting Education Fair - Spinal Column Online

Being a mother can be a very demanding task, but with a positive attitude and some practical habits, we can learn to enjoy the daily challenges of maternity.Learn to ask for help

First of all, happy mothers arent afraid of asking for help. They understand that although they can do a lot, we all have our limitations, and its important to have people we can fall back on when we need help.

Theres no point in trying to do it all on our own and ending up in a bad mood or overwhelmed, afflicted by feelings of guilt, because were too proud to ask for the help we need.

Being a parent is a full-time job, often alongside a professional career, and we shouldnt wait for an emergency to book a babysitter or to ask a family member to help out for a while when wed ordinarily be at home with the kids. Its healthy for both mothers and for the children to have a little time apart sometimes: moms need to give themselves permission to get together with friends, take a long hot bath, or enjoy a romantic dinner or a fun movie with their husband.

Between work and raising kids, it can be hard for parents to make time for exercise, but the golden rule should be to get outdoors at least once a day. Fresh air, natural sunlight, and contact with nature are all factors that can improve our mood and recharge our energy. Mothers can enjoy these benefits while pushing a stroller, for example.

Exercising and stretching can help us keep (or get) our body into shape, as well as refreshing our mind and our mood so we can make it through the rest of the day. Its good for our children too, especially today when its easy for them to spend all their time either at school or indoors doing homework or interacting with a screen.

Children love it when we smile at them. The very act of making ourselves smile or laugh can help stimulate the production of brain chemicals that improve our mood. Wrinkles from smiles are nothing to be ashamed of; on the contrary, they reveal a happy soul.

Hugs are healthy, too! Happy mothers embrace their children every time they get the chance. This is a good idea, because as time goes on and our children grow up well have fewer and fewer opportunities to do it.

Routine can be tiring. Its important to inject a little fun into our daily tasks, which could otherwise be boring but which we cannot avoid. When we go to the supermarket, we can bring some fun toys from home to keep the kids content, and when we get home, we can invite our kids into the kitchen to share time with them while they help unload and put away the groceries.

We can also be creative, and play games with our children or involve them in some other activity related to things that are going on in the world or at home at that time, such as the Olympics, the saint of the day, or some other important event. With this perspective, we can make each day special and unique.

We all want to live up to our ideals about parenting and to do everything right all the time. Nevertheless, there are days when things get out of hand, we are too tired to do it all, we run out of patience, and we bribe our kids with candy or with an episode of their favorite TV program.

Happy mothers know that they need to accept the fact that some days are chaotic and very difficult. Accepting this fact and not letting it upset us too much, focusing on the positive instead, is essential. We need to recognize that bad situations wont last forever.

Theres no way to feel happy all the time, but these practical suggestions can help us deal with the stresses of parenting and avoid common causes of unnecessary headaches and stress.

Read the original here:

5 Habits of happy mothers - Aleteia EN