Monthly Archives: March 2017

Mark and Scott Kelly are the only twins that have ever traveled to space and their experience will be invaluable if we want to get to Mars one day.

The brothers are taking part in what NASA calls the Twins Study a genetic experiment to see how our bodies change in zero gravity in the long term. Thats important to understand before we put humans on a spaceship and send them on a round trip to the Red Planet.

Between 2015 and 2016, Scott spent 340 days on the International Space Station, while his genetically identical twin Mark stayed on Earth to function as a control subject. Before, during, and after Scotts trip, the brothers have been giving NASA numerous biological samples blood, saliva, poop, you name it. By comparing Scotts samples with Marks, NASA is trying to understand what long-term space travel does to our bodies.

their experience will be invaluable if we want to get to Mars one day

Some preliminary findings have already come out. One study showed that Scotts DNA changed while he was in space: his telomeres the protective caps on the end of DNA strands were unexpectedly longer than Marks. (Telomere length can affect aging and age-associated diseases.) Another study showed that there were major fluctuations in Scotts gut bacteria while he lived in zero-g compared to his twin.

But were still waiting for the bulk of the results, and we might not see those for another year or two. While we wait, The Verge spoke on the phone with Mark and Scott to talk about the Twins Study, whether theyd fly to Mars or the Moon next, and what it feels like to be guinea pigs for the sake of space.

This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.

Loren Grush: I was doing an interview a while back with one of the researchers for the Twins Study, and she mentioned that you guys actually approached NASA with the idea for the study. Is that true? What sparked that idea?

Scott Kelly: When I was assigned to this year-long mission, I had a briefing with the scientists to prepare for the press release and the press conference about sending two guys into space for a year. And during that briefing, I asked the scientists if anyone had any interest in doing any comparative studies on Mark and I, considering hes also an astronaut and they had a lot of data on him for a really long time. And they went back over the next couple of weeks and talked about it and decided that there was in fact an interest and asked us if we would be participants.

LG: Mark, what did you think when he suggested that idea?

Mark Kelly: After talking to NASA about this, Scott came to me and said, Would you be willing to do this? The science that NASA does is incredibly important and Im so appreciative of everything that NASAs done for me in allowing me to be part of the space program for 15 years. So I said, absolutely, to do whatever theyd like. They dont even have to pay me. So even though I didnt work there and I told NASA they dont have to pay me. Then they came back a little bit later and they said well, it turns out we actually have to pay you. I got paid minimum wage.

SK: Wait a minute. You get paid minimum wage? I dont get paid anything.

MK: Yeah, I still do. Youre getting ripped off. I get like $10.50 an hour or whatever it is whenever I deal with one of those NASA experiments.

SK: Wow.

Alessandra Potenza: How much work do you guys still do for the Twins Study, now that youre almost one year from landing?

SK: Well for me, I have my one-year medical test. We get an annual physical every year, but part of this will be data collection for the Twins Study. Im not really sure how much of it. Its probably like a full days worth of stuff. And then I think I have another one at a year and a half. And then after that, it gets more and more irregular and spread out longer. But most astronauts are part of a different study called the Longitudinal Study of Astronaut Health, that just tracks their health throughout the course of their lives to try to get an understanding of the effects of spaceflight on us from a long-term perspective, but also to try to understand just a group of people that have pretty good health care and are monitored closely. What and how does that change things?

LG: Now that some of the preliminary results are coming in, were you guys surprised at some of the genetic changes that theyve been finding, for instance?

SK: Yeah, I was really surprised.

MK: The one big surprising thing was his telomeres got longer while in space, and thats kind of the opposite of what they thought would happen. The presumption was that in the radiation theres a lot of radiation in space and the stress of being on the space station, they thought that those things would result in the shortening of his telomeres. Theyre like the structure on your genes thats indicative of how old you are. But the opposite happened. And there were some people out there in the media that were speculating that maybe NASA discovered the fountain of youth, which is going into space, which is not true and thats wild speculation. But I think the interesting thing is, heres an experiment that the scientists have their hypothesis and they wound up with the opposite result.

LG: Didnt Scott get a little bit younger because of time dilation? Maybe not because of the telomeres, but something like a couple milliseconds or something like that?

SK: Yeah, by like three milliseconds.

MK: No, no, Scott, I think if you actually add up your 520 days, because I did this, I saw what people say is that per day, at 17,500 miles an hour, I think where I used to be six minutes older, I think I am now if you did the math correctly its six minutes and 13 milliseconds.

LG: Another study showed that your gut bacteria changed while in space. Did that manifest in any crazy ways while you were on the station?

SK: Its interesting that our microbiome consists of all these cells that arent us, so theres actually more of them than there are our own human cells. And your microbiome is affected by a lot of things. Its affected by what you eat and its affected by where you live, your environment. Its interesting that Mark and I, our microbiomes are very different. So I guess my point is that our microbiome is affected by our environment and the space environment is an extreme environment, its a unique environment. So it doesnt surprise me that they saw changes while I was in space.

AP: Both of you have been in the spotlight a lot with the Twins Study. How does it feel to be guinea pigs?

SK: Its part of it. As an astronaut, from day one, when you agree to take that job, youre also agreeing to be a human subject. So its something that weve been used to for the last 20 years. I just think its part of the responsibility when youre in this very unique position, to participate in these studies and be a human subject. So its not even something I think about, actually.

MK: Well, then they also try to make sure that we dont do anything really stupid. I mean its not like the mice I carried on my first space flight, or the mice and rodents that my brother dealt with in space. As subjects of science experiments, theyve got a much more difficult job than we do. The outcome is much better for us, at least in the short term.

LG: I know theres a protocol, when they get these results from the Twins Study, theyre supposed to share it with you beforehand. What is that process like and do you guys have veto power if you dont want something shared?

SK: Yeah, theyll generally send us the research paper and sometimes preliminary material and ask us how we feel about it, because it is our medical data and it is protected under the law. So far we havent declined release on anything in any studies. As time goes on and we see how the process works, I anticipate that theres not going to be much stuff that we would not want people to see.

AP: What kind of follow-ups to the Twins Study would you like to see from NASA?

MK: Well Id like them to let me go back in space for just like a couple weeks. That would be nice.

SK: Id like a follow-up for them to send Mark to that new solar system we discovered.

LG: Can you take me with you?

SK: Im just kidding, obviously. Its 40 light-years away. How long do you think it would take to get there, me and my brother and the two of you ladies, at the speed that we could travel at to go 40 light-years?

LG: Well what is the deal? Voyager 1 is still like 0.05 percent from Alpha Centauri, which is like, four light-years away?

SK: Exactly! So you should be able to figure this out. Give me a number.

LG: Ill do the math and get back to you.

SK: No, youve got to do it in your head right now! How many years?

LG: Im working on it Ill get it to you.

SK: Come on. About 10 minutes ago I tweeted my guess. So what is your guess?

LG: Im going to guess 200,000 years.

SK: No, more like 800,000 years. At 35,000 miles an hour, it would take about 800,000 years.

LG: Oh, gosh. We could have multiple generations later get there.

SK: Thats what I was thinking.

MK: Multiple? It could take all of the generations of humans to get there.

SK: The people that go there, if you did that, you get on this spaceship and when you got off 800,000 years later, it would be a new species.

LG: Yeah, we would be the aliens once we got there.

SK: We wouldnt even recognize our descendants.

LG: Well, speaking of traveling through space, Scott, you said that being in space changed you and gave you a better appreciation for our planet. Mark, does that resonate with you? And I guess both of you, how did you guys feel you changed when you were in space?

SK: For me, its just looking down at the Earth for a long period of time, and not just on this mission, but between my first mission in 1999 and then my last, which I landed in 2016, you see significant changes on the Earth, especially the rainforests in South America. Its just really heartbreaking to see how theyve been decimated. Pollution that is almost constantly over certain parts of our planet. The fragility of the atmosphere that you notice.

But also in space, you do have this orbital perspective where you feel detached from all of the people and everything that has happened to the point of the planet while youre in space, especially for long periods of time. And the news we get from Earth, by and large, its all bad stuff. You know, its mostly bad news. And when you look out the window and you consider how lucky we are to have this planet that, until recently, we figured it was pretty unique in the universe. I think we should take better care of it, we should take better care of each other. We need to be better teammates on our shared spaceship that were flying around the universe in. Spaceship Earth.

AP: Mark, do you want to answer the question on how being in space changed you?

MK: What he said. Same answer.

AP: What do you guys miss the most about being in space and what dont you miss?

SK: I miss the work and the technical challenge of it. I miss the teamwork, the working on something that is technically challenging and doing it with a group of highly professional and inspiring people, both your crewmates and the folks on the ground. Doing something you believe is important. I miss that a lot more than floating around in zero-g and looking at the sites out the window.

MK: Yeah. Having a mission and trying to do something really complicated and being successful at it is very rewarding. So I really miss that part of trying to do a really good job at a very difficult thing.

LG: Now you both talk so fondly about your time in space, and I know Scott, youve mentioned not closing the book on that. Are you both interested in making a trip with a private company in the future?

MK: So I have co-founded a company called World View, which part of our business is space tourism, but with a helium balloon to the edge of space. Im excited about the fact that other people are going to get to have these kinds of experiences, whether its with us or launching with Virgin Galactic or Blue Origin in a rocket ship. Thats a great thing for a country for a lot of different reasons.

SK: You know, under the right circumstances, Id be all for it. We will get there someday, where people are flying into space for different reasons, some of which is just for pleasure. And we have a little bit of that now, of course, but were talking on a much bigger scale. So yeah, under the right circumstances, I would go. Id never rule out never flying in space again. I think thats definitely something that would interest me.

AP: Whats the life of a retired astronaut like for both of you?

SK: You know, Im busier now than I think Ive ever been in my life. Im trying to write several books and doing some public speaking that takes a lot of my time. And starting out on this new part of my life after getting back from space, being there for a year has definitely been a challenge. But it was a welcome challenge and Im enjoying it.

MK: Ive got a lot of stuff that Im involved in right now. I was on the road about 80 percent of last year, and probably the year before that as well. I serve on a few boards, Ive got this company Im the co-founder of in Tucson, public speaking, some book project stuff. So Ive been probably as busy as Ive ever been. Ive certainly spent more time away from home than I ever did as an astronaut. So its a challenge. But I do a lot of things that I enjoy, and its nice to be able to control your own schedule.

LG: What about your personal preferences when it comes to the future of human space exploration? Is there anything in particular you guys want to see from NASA or from other companies?

SK: Ive always been a fan of going back to the Moon. I think theres a lot we can learn from the Moon thats going to help us go to Mars some day and its something that always excites me.

MK: We should just go straight to Mars. Forget about the Moon. Weve been there. Weve already done that.

SK: But more importantly, when we transition from one administration to another, we need to kind of let NASA continue along the path theyre on and not change direction because it just wastes time and effort and money and it doesnt help us get anywhere at all.

MK: I do agree with you, Scott, that its incredibly important for our long-term success as a government agency and to have consistency. And thats something thats lacking. We often get these wild changes in direction from either the White House or often from Congress as well. So consistency from year after year is really important to our space program. So I hope as the new administration in the White House, our new president, starts to formulate a plan for NASA, I hope they keep in mind that having a goal and a strategic plan and predictable funding, if we do that, then NASA can accomplish great things. But predictability and being able to execute a long-term plan over time is really important to our success.

AP: Is there anything else you guys would like to add about the Twins Study or your experience?

SK: Well one more thing I want to say is, one of the things that also keeps us busy is our relationship with Breitling, the watch company who I think set up this interview for us, right?

AP and LG: Right.

SK: So I was going to put in a good Breitling plug. Your readers probably like stuff and pilots and astronauts like watches. And Breitling makes the best watches, especially for aviators and astronauts.

LG: Did you use Breitling watches when you were on the station?

SK: Yeah I did, and you need to put that in the article, because this is what I was told this article was going to be about.

See the rest here:

Astronauts Scott and Mark Kelly on NASA's twin experiment and the future of space travel - The Verge

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Facts surrounding global warming are terrifying. Just try listening to the This American Life episode, Hot in My Backyard, without spending the rest of the day sobbing in bed, we dare you. As the population continues to increase, and the temperature continues to rise, the destruction we are causing to the planet is rapidly becoming exponentially more damaging. Thats incredibly scary. We are talking about the very future of humanity.

For many of us, its hard to comprehend the consequences our actions have had and continue to have on the planet. And much easier to simply ignore the problem after all, reading statistics about global warming is really overwhelming. When you look at the bleak conclusions, it can seem easier to simply give up. To take the attitude of, What am I, one single person, going to do that will change anything? Its much easier to choose apathy over panic, but global warming is not a problem that can be wished or ignored away. And were running out of time to reverse things.

Luckily for literally everyone alive, there are scientists (and everyday people!) all over the world who arent passive. They fight against that fear and apathy. These heroes create real change through innovative technology feverishly working to combat global warming before it ends in the destruction of everything we hold dear. Heroes like Wyatt Pontius. Pontius was only a junior in high school when he decided he wanted to change the world.

Through hard work and trial and error, Pontius invented a way of changing the composition of leaves to make them significantly increase their oxygen production. He did this by putting the leaves in a blender (in his case spinach leaves) to isolate their photosynthetic chloroplasts. He then recreated the leaf (which now had nanoscale materials implanted inside).

And his innovation paid off. The result of his work was that the leaf was able to produce about 375% more oxygen than a typical leaf. Its a potentially world saving discovery as we face increasingly lowering amounts of oxygen in the atmosphere. Its also insanely awesome: the guy is literally disrupting the leaf game.

A recent study showed that at the rate that the oceans temperatures are rising, the photosynthesis of phytoplankton could be interrupted by 2100. This is a big deal. Phytoplankton produces two thirds of the worlds oxygen. If it stopped producing, wed be looking at a mass extinction of life on Earth. Those modified leaves will become essential in a hurry.

Once I actually realized it worked, I was in disbelief, Pontius said.

UPROXX

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This Teenager's Invention Could Help To Revolutionize Space Travel - UPROXX

One of the first tourists to travel in outer space can be a bit of a buzzkill. Sure, he loved every minuteeven if he was physically miserable partof the time. The next wave of space tourists will need a high tolerance for discomfort.

If all goes according to plan, Elon MusksSpace Exploration Technologies Corp.will send two paying civilians around the moon and back some timenext year.My advice to them would be to medicate early and often, saysRichard Garriott de Cayeux, thevideo game developer and entrepreneur who paid $30 million to Russias Space Adventures to spend 12 days aboard the International Space Station. His moon-voyagingcounterparts have put down a significant deposit, according to a post last week on SpaceX's website, but the total price and the identitiesof the tourists have not been disclosed.

Themicrogravitythat permits what Garriott de Cayeux describes as joyous, free-feeling motion we associated with astronauts also takes a serious physiological toll.Body fluids stop flowing normally, which is why, in space, peoples faces look puffy, and they generally have somewhat bloodshot eyes, he says. It feels sort of like lying on a childrens slide, head down. In the first days, you get very stuffed up and have a bit of a headache. These symptoms can be easily remediedwith common drugs, such as aspirin and Sudafed.

Another side effect comes from the floating fluid in your inner ear, which normally helps a person detect motion and stay balanced. In space, of course, it also begins floating. So if you move your head forward, it will slosh to the back and make you feel like youre falling backwards, says Garriott de Cayeux. Theres a disagreement between what you see that youre doing and what your body thinks its doingand that often causes sea sickness.

That perceptual disconnect tends to last for about three days before your brain begins compensating. When you get back to Earth it takes another three days to readjust. This is another downside of space tourism that can be treated withdrugs.

My advice to them would be to medicate early and often.

Other physical challenges are more difficult to address and also less acute. Humans in spacesuffer muscle and bone atrophy. Space travel requires exposure to increased levels of radiation, which can lead to surprising visual effects. "All of a sudden you will see this really intense, bright white ... and then it will fade back out," says Garriott de Cayeux. "That is basically you being damaged by radiation, it triggers the impression of light even though there is no light."

His time in space required a year of difficult preparation, although physical fitness wasn't a focus. If you're going on a space walk, you need to be in excellent physical condition, because an inflated space suit is hard to bend. But if youre not, you just need to be healthy, he says.Still,SpaceXs tourism clients will likely be studied head to toe, undergoing a battery of medical tests they've probably never heard of before. In my case, they found I was missing a vein on one lobe of my liver, says Garriott de Cayeux. OnEarth that's irrelevant, but in space it could have led to internal bleeding, which is why I ended up having surgery to remove that lobe.

Training and preparing mentally will likely be the main challenge for the next generation of space tourists. This is not like an airplane where the pilots sit up front and theres a passenger cabin where youre being serve tea and coffee, says Garriott de Cayeux."I went through all the exact same classes as every other astronaut and cosmonaut." That included learninghow to operate everypiece of equipment aboard the craft, including radios and safety systems, and studying a long list of potential malfunctions.

Garriott de Cayeux's teamalso trained extensively for potential disaster scenarios, including open sea survival. "If there was an emergency in orbit and you had to come to ground immediately [in a capsule], you might land in the ocean," hesays. "You would probably sit in the capsule until somebody came and picked it up.But it's also possible that the capsule might start to sink."Helearned to change out of a space suit and into special thermal wetsuitsall while crammed in a space roughly the size of the front two seats of aVolkswagenbug. The first time they attempted the feat, while bobbing in acapsule in the ocean,he and his colleaguesbegan overheating to the point where doctors stepped in andaborted the mission. "Our heart rates and core body temperatures were going up to a level that was so dangerous, they literally understood that we'd be doing ourselves medical harm to continue," says Garriott de Cayeux.

But mini-hardships such asthis are crucial for assessing what is perhaps the most important factor in traveling to space: mental fortitude. "You need to make sure that the people on thevehicle are ... serious, confident, positive, and will work to addresssituations that come up," says Garriott de Cayeux. "Everyperson has a psychologist assigned to them, from Day 1 until launch, to make sure they'll be a safe crew member."

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Despite the discomforts and hardship of space travel, Garriott de Cayeux, now 55, says his trip to space was worth every penny. His father, Owen Garriott, was an astronaut.He grew up learning and thinking about space and felt his life change when he looked at the planet from inside the International Space Station. "There's something called the Overview Effect," he says."Up there you really realize, 'Yeah, of course we are polluting the Earth. Of course CO2 is a problem. Of course particulate matter is a problem. How could you possibly doubt it when we can see it so self evidently?'"

While Garriott de Cayeux got to observe the Earth, SpaceX's voyagers will see both Earth and the Moon up close. "For them, the Earth will slowly recede into the distance to become much like the moon," he says. "That is a whole other level of awe that no one has experienced in over 50 years."

Here's How Elon Musk Plans to Send Tourists to Space

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Travel Tips From a Real Space Tourist: Get Ready to Feel Awful - Bloomberg

Estonia will receive a 100th birthday gift next year that will be truly out of this world as part of the countrys centenary celebrations in 2018, ESTCube will unveil its second satellite while its team embarks on a mission across Estonia to educate young people about opportunities within the space industry.

ESTCube-2 will be three times larger and far more complex than its predecessor, ESTCube-1, which turned Estonia into an unlikely space nation when it entered orbit in 2013.

ESTCube-2 is planned to blast off in 2019 and will operate at approximately 680 kilometres (423 miles) above Earth, which is almost twice as high as the International Space Station. However, the satellite is being designed to boldly go much further.

The satellite will serve as a prototype for ESTCube-3, an Estonian mission to orbit the moon that will blast off in the early 2020s. In addition, the European Space Agency is now officially considering a joint Estonian-Finnish proposal to send a swarm of satellites based on the same Estonian design to rendez-vous with hundreds of asteroids.

The main objective for ESTCube-2 is to test a plasma brake. This is a new method of deorbiting satellites, which could help mitigate the problem of space debris. A tether is charged in the ionosphere and the braking force then enables the satellite to drop out of orbit up to ten times faster than current methods.

ESTCube-3 will go even further, both literally and in its experiments. Its main objective will be to test electric sail technology, an advanced new method of propulsion that uses solar wind instead of the ionosphere, as in the case of the plasma brake. This could enable quicker and much more cost-effective space missions without the burden of carrying fuel.

The ability to sail the solar wind could revolutionise the space economy by improving the ease of travel around our solar system. The ESTCube team believes this technology could one day be used to transport cargo between planets and asteroids, which could assist with activities such as mining and exploration beyond Earth.

The ambitious asteroid mission, which the European Space Agency revealed, would use electric sail technology to travel towards and gather information about asteroids that could be used for mining or deflecting one in future that threatened Earth.

Tartu Observatory provides ESTCube with a large proportion of its finance and facilities, including laboratories and the ground control for monitoring missions. The observatory will merge with the University of Tartu at the start of next year, which will provide greater opportunities for students to develop their skills within the emerging space industry, according to Anu Reinart, the director of Tartu Observatory.

We will have more power to influence the study programme and greater links with the students, Reinart says. This is important because one of the main things we are lacking in Estonia is enough high level researchers and engineers in the field of space technology.

ESTCube-1 was built on a low budget, but the commercial and academic benefits from the mission are now visible across Estonia. The European Space Agency has since placed orders for satellite-mounted cameras from the team, as well as announced that its next business incubation centre will be established in Tartu.

There are also several offshoot space companies now based in Estonia, such as Captain Corrosion, which has commissioned the corrosion protection testing onboard ESTCube-2. Tallinn University of Technology is also developing its first satellite so both programmes are now sharing technical expertise and advice.

We are building an Estonian space industry, Andris Slavinskis, the head of the space technology department of Tartu Observatory, says. Working with students is how you develop the next generation of space engineers. They are so excited about space technology so its easy to get them involved. In ten years, we will have a better balance between students and professionals, but it is always good to have students involved as it provides a new generation coming up after you.

While some of Estonias space pioneers have now found opportunities working around the world, the emerging industry in Estonia has also attracted talent from abroad as its reputation rises. This includes Slavinskis himself who is Latvian.

ESTCube is probably one of the best examples in Estonia about how to organise an international, high technology team working on exciting projects, he notes. It was clear when reading post-doc applications from around the world.

ESTCube-2 has a range of tasks to complete in Earth orbit for researchers in Estonia, including Earth observation and corrosion protection experiments, before the final deorbiting.

However, the electric sail does not work near Earth as the solar wind is blocked by the planets magnetic field, which is why ESTCube has set its sights on the moon for the subsequent mission. Orbiting the moon will be more complex and more costly to launch so using the same design for ESTCube-2 and fully testing it in space will help lower the risks of the ESTCube-3 mission.

We are designing this [ESTCube-2] mission to be taken to the moon, Slavinskis says. Everything is being built in a way so that we can very rapidly fix any problems and take the next mission to the moon. We can then test the electric solar wind sail in its real conditions and sail in the solar wind.

There are thousands of operational satellites around the Earth, yet less than a handful around the moon due to the enormous difficulties of keeping orbit in low gravity. All of them eventually crash into the moon with current technology.

The ESTCube team revealed for the first time that they were not only planning to orbit the moon, but also investigating the possibility of using the solar sail to fly away from the moon afterwards.

The moon orbit is very unstable so you can use the electric sail for orbit keeping and remain in there for a very long time, Hendrik Ehrpais, the chief technology officer and the lead of the attitude and arbit control team at ESTCube, says.

Changing the moon orbit or escaping the moon orbit is far more interesting than crashing into the moon. We are investigating the possibility of doing some very cool things, including returning to Earth, but our focus at the moment is building the satellite.

Estonians at home and around the world will be providing gifts to the country on its 100th birthday in 2018. In addition to the satellite itself, ESTCube is keen to provide more people with the opportunity to learn about the upcoming missions and how to get involved.

Members of the team have already started to return to their old schools to discuss the programme and the possibility that pupils could soon be working on the missions themselves. A summer academy is also being launched to provide young Estonians with the opportunity to work on space projects.

I would encourage more Estonians to get involved because I can see how [the ESTCube programme] gives such good skills to people, Reinart states. It is not only technical skills either, because the team is very good at public relations, team building and fundraising. We can do really useful things when we work together.

Estonia is small, but we can do big things here and space is something we are very good at. The technology has developed so much that it is not so expensive anymore and even a small country like Estonia is able to develop miniaturised instruments used in space or create software for complex systems.

Since re-establishing independence, Estonians have been encouraged to think globally in order to find opportunities. As Estonia turns 100, young people will increasingly need to think beyond this Earth too.

I

Cover:ESTCube-2. Images courtesy of ESTCube.

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Estonia's mission to the moon could revolutionise space travel - Estonian World (press release) (blog)

!GQK comes visiting

The other day I met my old friend !GQK from the galaxy next door. He took the wormhole express from planet Gliese 581g and appeared in my guest room quite suddenly. He was tired. He switched on his universal translator and lamented "I travelled economy class; the universal cash crunch is hitting all us researchers". After he had got over his space-lag and got used to our local gravity we went down to that vegetarian restaurant on VIP Road. He has been visiting officially once every 10 Earth Years and the first thing he does is enjoy some idly with several chutneys and sambar. Over breakfast we discussed the purpose of his visit this time.

Research

"I am here to study Vizag's driving habits" he explained. "We at The Galactic Institute have watched the huge increase in vehicular traffic in Vizag and my boss wanted me to verify the reports that we have been getting on the driving habits of the Vizag Earthlings." Looking at the way he was walloping his 4th plate of idlies, I suspected that he had just made an excuse to come here because of his obsession with our ubiquitous tiffin - idly and sambar. Anyway, I settled down deeper into my sofa to hear more.

Horn energy can fuel space travel

!GQK leaned forward and said in a his typical academic tone, "Reports indicate some peculiar habits of the human species here. One of the most perplexing is the propensity of the Vizag driver to blow the horn continuously for no apparent reason. Our researchers have observed, from the space cam footage, that even a lonely bike or car on the NH 16 keeps honking every few seconds". We also note the peculiar habit of the earthling behind our vehicle honking ceaselessly even when the vehicle in the front has no way of going forward or to the side. We are trying to analyse this behaviour." He gestured to the waiter to get another plate of idly, took a sip of water and continued, "We have calculated that all this honking produces enough energy to fuel intergalactic space travel." I sat up incredulously. "Yes indeed" he continued with a small smile "Vizagites do honk a lot". We stopped talking for a moment as an APSRTC bus outside announced its passing with a particularly deafening "air horn".

Pedestrian are for running over

!GQK signalled to the waiter to bring him a peserattu. I checked my wallet surreptitiously to ensure I had enough money to pay the bill. "What other areas are you researching?" I asked, to keep him talking in order to slow down his eating. "Yes" he resumed, "the other area is the interaction between vehicles and pedestrians. In most other intelligent civilizations, the vehicle stops and lets pedestrians cross the road. Our research shows that in Vizag most drivers speed up and try their best to run over the poor earthling crossing the street. It appears more true especially when they are on the zebra stripes on the road which you Vizagites humorously call the 'pedestrian crossing'. It is also observed statistically that small children, elderly men and women and infirm pedestrians are prone to being run over on the pedestrian crossings. We interviewed a number of drivers and all agreed that the white zebra crossings were a wonderful place where you are allowed to run over the human pedestrians but obviously Zebras were not to be harmed".

Roundabouts

I ordered our coffees hoping to put an end to the breakfast session. !GQK wiped off his lips with a tissue and, seeing how impressed I was with his study, restarted his narration. "The other remarkable driver behaviour is at your roundabouts or circles. In most civilizations, depending on which side of the road you drive, you give way to the traffic on the left or on the right. We note that in Vizag, vehicles negotiate these circles using a ritual of bully and bluster. The vehicles at the roundabouts go into some sort of ceremony where all drivers nose into the circle in a concerted manner intimidating each other till the timid ones gives way. Bigger vehicles generally get past the circles quickly whereas smaller vehicles take a long time to get through. We have fed this data into our computers and are analysing if there is some sort of quantum mechanics at work in this chaos; some way, where all drivers communicate with each other at a subliminal level to negotiate these circles. If we are successful we will be introducing the system in the wormhole space traffic intersection system."

Read the rest here:

Intergalactic space travel and idilies - Times of India