Category Archives: Golden Rule

I have mentioned in columns before the people who have made the biggest impact on my life outside of my family, was by far my educators at the School District of Amery. I suppose that makes them like a second family. It makes me sad that recently I lost a member of that second family, my Kindergarten teacher-Lois Kresl.

A popular read entitled All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten is a book of short essays by American minister and author Robert Fulghum. It was first published in 1986.

The title of the book is taken from the first essay in the volume, in which Fulghum lists lessons normally learned in American kindergarten classrooms and explains how the world would be improved if adults adhered to the same basic rules as children, i.e. sharing, being kind to one another, cleaning up after themselves.

The essay based on Kindergarten takes me back to my early days in Mrs. Kresls class. Robert Fulghum was absolutely correct on his points about Kindergarten. While the points are important, what was even bigger to me was the person who instilled these values into her students.

Back in my day, there was no such thing as Pre-K. In fact, we only went to Kindergarten for a half day. Harvey Monson would drive me there in the mornings on Bus 14 and Martha Heiden would drive me home on Bus 6 at Noon.

I had never been to preschool. I was an only child who spent a majority of her time with adults, so school was a whole new world to me. Kindergarten was the roots of my learning experience and I believe it set me up for my love of school. Mrs. Kresl was the reason for all of this. She will always hold a special place in my heart.

In honor of the teacher who taught me the most important basics of life, here is an excerpt from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Put things back where you found them.

Dont take things that arent yours.

Say youre sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced lifelearn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cupthey all die. So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learnedthe biggest word of allLOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we allthe whole worldhad cookies and milk about three oclock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you arewhen you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Thank you, Mrs. Kresl and all of the other educators and school staff who make a daily difference on childrens lives.

I enjoy sharing my thoughts with you and look forward to readers sharing their thoughts in return.

Feel free to email me at editor@theameryfreepress.com, write me at P.O. Box 424, Amery WI. 54001 or I can be reached by phone at 715-268-8101.

See the original post:

All I really need to know I learned from Mrs. Kresl - Amery Free Press

The sixth annual Interfaith Awareness Week from Sunday to Aug. 13 is slated to bring together thousands of people from different faith traditions, including those who do not belong to a faith community, to hear from each other and learn about each others faith and beliefs.

For seven days, interfaith discussions will be led virtually all day, led by leaders of various faith groups from the United States, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, England, Israel, Pakistan and Australia. The event starts Sunday with an opening program broadcast via Zoom from Poway throughout the world.

Interfaith Awareness Week began in August 2017 as a five-day interfaith conference, known as the North American Interfaith Networks conference at the University of California San Diego. The event drew more than 250 people representing 20 faiths. The event was organized by the Poway Interfaith Team, which was formed by group of local faith leaders in 2006 to foster interfaith conversations.

It started here in San Diego County but has grown into a seven-day celebration that has gone global, said the Rev. Stephen Albert, co-founder of the Poway Interfaith Team and founder of the World Interfaith Network, which connects interfaith groups around the world.

The network has nearly 300 members and is recognized in 107 countries, according to Albert. This years Interfaith Awareness Week is organized by the World Interfaith Network.

One of the accomplishments of the first conference, Albert said, was that it received proclamations from 14 of 18 mayors and city councils in San Diego County, stating that their cities would honor and respect all people from all faiths, cultures and backgrounds. In March 2018, the California State Assembly and the governor approved celebrating Interfaith Awareness Week as the second week in August each year.

Albert created the California Interfaith Association three years ago to bring together dozens of Interfaith organizations across the state and then expanded the network internationally in 2019.

The idea is to bring people together in conversations about faith and foster mutual respect and friendship.

Once you begin to dialogue with people who worship differently, wear different styles of clothing, have different skin colors or accents, we learn that they are people just like us who want a peaceful world where their children can grow up happy and healthy, Albert said.

The more than 40 interfaith groups will present what they are doing in their part of the world to help bring about a more peaceful world, Albert said.

Nearly 50 virtual presentations are planned. Topics range from The Golden Rule & Interfaith Dialogue, The Art of Interfaith Understanding and Interfaith in Business to Building Community through Interfaith Partnership, Conversation with Actors of Interreligious Dialogue in Mexico and Circles of Light Interfaith Around the World.

On the last day, Aug. 13, from 4 to 6 p.m., an intergenerational panel representing various faiths and ages will discuss The Future of Interfaith.

The weeks program is free to the public and the Zoom link for each presentation can be accessed at world-interfaith.com.

Here is the weeks schedule of virtual interfaith events:

Sunday

10 a.m. Interfaith Awareness Opening Why Interfaith? Poway Interfaith Team, San Diego.

Noon. Living In The Times of Prophecy Fulfillment & Forgiving The Unforgivable One Global Family Alliances & Unity and Diversity World Council Chief Daniel Ramos, LauraSa Pele Lafoia Ava.

2 p.m. Parliament of the Worlds Religions, The Beginning of Interfaith/video and dialogue.

4 p.m. Seeds of the Interfaith Movement Growing in the Sunflower State Global Faith in Action Wichita, Kan. Sam Muyskens, Rabbi Michael Davis.

6 p.m. Circles of Light Interfaith Around the World United Religions Initiative Tahil Sharma.

Monday

8 a.m. The Golden Rule & Interfaith Dialogue Toronto, Canada Paul McKenna, Kathy Murtha.

10 a.m. The Virtue of Listening North American Interfaith Network Shelton Saeed-Nally.

Noon. Global Talk Zone Interfaith Collaboration the Rev. Steve Albert.

1 p.m. Spiritual Diversity in Education Deborah Robin Mech.

2 p.m. Religions for Peace International and Religions for Peace USA Interreligious Peacebuilding Around the World Karen Hernandez.

4 p.m. Shasta Interfaith Redding the Rev. Lynn E. Fritz.

6 p.m. Evangelicals, Islam & Interfaith Imam Taha Hassane, Martin Brooks.

Tuesday

8 a.m. Learn, Fellowship, Serve, and Worship MultiFaith Council of Northwest Ohio Toledo, Ohio Judy Trautman, Joseph Zielinski.

10 a.m. The Art of Interfaith Understanding Philadelphia the Rev. John Hougen.

Noon. Global Talk Zone Interfaith Collaboration the Rev. Steve Albert.

1 p.m. Interfaith in Business Jeff Blanton

2 p.m. Teeming UP for Peace Week and the UP Convergence World Unity Week, Australia the Rev. Becky Suzik.

4 p.m. Interfaith Movement and Social Justice in Arizona Arizona Faith Network Phoenix Vasu Bandhu

6 p.m. Uncommon Friends: The Heart of Love, Justice and Liberation for All Greater Kansas City Interfaith Council Kansas City the Rev. Kelly Isola

Aug. 10

8 a.m. Taking action on climate chaos: An Interfaith dialogue from three traditional religious perspectives. Temple of Understanding New York, N.Y. Suzy Meszoly, the Rev. Susan Hendershot, Daniel Capper.

10 a.m. Big Questions Forum Rossmoor Interfaith Council, San Francisco Bay Area Sara Blackstock.

11 a.m. San Francisco Bay Area Interfaith Councils Working Together the Rev. Will McGarvey.

Noon. Global Talk Zone Interfaith Collaboration the Rev. Steve Albert.

1 p.m. Look What Happens When We Stand Side By Side! San Dieguito Interfaith Ministers Association, Encinitas Karen Koblentz.

2 p.m. Interfaith Ministry as a Pathway to Being the Change Empowering your Vision and Voice in the World All Paths Divinity School Los Angeles & Global Interfaith Seminary Southern California Committee for a Parliament of the Worlds Religions (SCCPWR), Southern California Parliament of the Worlds Religions the Rev. Debrah Friedland-VanZyl.

3 p.m. Creating Sustainable Healthy Communities for Peace SCCPWR Los Angeles the Rev. Richard Rose.

4 p.m. Season for NonViolence Association for Global New Thought the Rev. Temple Hayes, Pari Patri, Barbara Fields.

6 p.m. Interfaith Successes, Issues and Hopes in Religiously Diverse Orange County Orange County Interfaith Network and Six Interfaith Councils Don Garrick.

Aug. 11

8 a.m. Building Bridges Edmonton Interfaith Centre for Education & Action Edmonton Alberta, Canada Len Gierach.

10 a.m. Building Community through Interfaith Partnership Why Cornwall is Considered a Grassroots Movement. Cornwall Interfaith Partnership Cornwall, Canada John Towndrow.

Noon. Global Talk Zone Interfaith Collaboration the Rev. Steve Albert.

1 p.m. United Peace Federation.

2 p.m. Fostering Dialogue for Harmony & Peace Ruth Broyde Sharone.

3 p.m. Why Cant Science & Religion be Friends Ruth Broyde Sharone.

4 p.m. Taking Action on Climate Change: An Interfaith Conversation Faith & the Common Good Toronto, Canada Michelle Singh.

6 p.m. The Liminal Odyssey, Alchemizing The Spaces In-Between S.A.R.A.H. Sande Hart.

Aug. 12

8 a.m. Interfaith Connections Washington, D.C. Jacqueline Fuller.

10 a.m. Mandala Meditation & Art Creation Bahais of Clairemont Barbara Ruys.

Noon. Global Talk Zone Interfaith Collaboration the Rev. Steve Albert.

1 p.m. Women in Islam We Love Our Neighbors Sister Tehseen Usman Lazzouni.

2 p.m. Interfaith Youth Leadership Brazil Interfaith Marcelo da Costa Coelho.

4 p.m. Conversation with Actors of Interreligious Dialogue in Mexico CC Fraternidad Interespiritual of Mexico Dwynt Strega.

6 p.m. Interfaith Heritage of Islam Yusef Miller.

Aug. 13

8 a.m. Interfaith Service and Panel on Yoga and Faith LOTUS Center for All Faiths Yogaville, Buckingham, Va. Swami Jyotirmayananda and Integral Yoga Interfaith, New York the Rev. Shankar Bruce Fern.

10 a.m. Our Interfaith Journey: Hopes and Disappointments Oxford, England Mary and Marcus Braybrooke share memories of some remarkable people they have met.

Noon and 1 p.m. Interfaith Pakistan Naveed Hameed.

2 p.m. Peace is Possible The Abrahamic Reunion Interfaith Israel, Ghassan Manasra.

4 p.m. The Future of Interfaith Intergenerational Panel Vasu Bandhu, the Rev. Rob Hankinson, Vilma Rosaura Palax Tuy, Tarunjit Butalia, PK McCary.

6 p.m. A Showcase of Songs from Interfaith The Musical with Ruth Broyde Sharone and cast members a one-time showing.

Follow this link:

Interfaith week to bring together different faith groups for open dialogue - The San Diego Union-Tribune

American Jews have internalized the non-Jewish conception of religion, according to professor David Graizbord, associate director of Judaic Studies at University of Arizona.

Judaism is not Jewish, he stresses. American Jews have internalized that they are Christians without Jesus. What defines them is something called Judaism and that is a religion in the Christian sense of the term: A series of propositions that call for faith that those propositions are true and a host of religious rituals of worship that are performed in the confines of their private space.

Jewish civilization is none of that.

On the most recent episode of Wine with Adam with Adam Scott Bellos, the pair enjoy a conversation about the state of American Jewry and Zionism over a glass of 2018 Jezreel Argaman. Graizbord is the author of a new book, New Zionists: Young American Jews, Jewish National Identity, and Israel.

Graizbord explains that being a Zionist is increasingly unpopular in the United States, and that it carries for young Jews a tremendous stigma.

He explains how it has been easier for Jews to pass incognito in American society as white until recently; Jews are now being labeled as having white privilege and therefore evil.

For many Jews in the U.S., to be a Jew means to uphold the Golden Rule and embrace the BDS paradigm of Jewish identity: Bagels, davening and Seinfeld, he said.

The post American Jews think they are Christians without Jesus appeared first on JNS.org.

See the article here:

'American Jews think they are Christians without Jesus' - Cleveland Jewish News

The back-to-school season can be a special time for families. As our younger children move from one grade to the next, we certainly want to encourage them in their God-given purpose, inspire them to be successful and comfort them during the transition to their next school year.

A fantastic way to celebrate the upcoming new school year is by reading faith-based childrens books together. Encouraging and fun books that can be read as a family can often ease the worry of the new school year for both students as well as parents.

Sometimes, it can be a challenge to find books that include a back-to-school theme while also addressing topics important to Christian families. Check out some of these back-to-school books that your family may find helpful to encourage faith-filled conversations with kids.

Be strong and Courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9.

Have a blessed school year.

Different Like MeBy Xochitl Dixon

Different Like Me is a perfect back-to-school book for this time of year where students will often make new friends. The rhyming text is fun to read and reminds kids about the connections of friendships while the illustrations show students working together to solve a problem. The book starts and ends with Bible verses and also includes conversation starters for families.

It Will Be OkayBy Lysa TerKeurst

At back-to-school time, this book is perfect for Christian families facing a transition. The book tells a parable about a seed being planted and growing into a tree, all under the care of a faithful gardener. The seed also has the support of a caring friend. Of course, the seed doesnt fully understand all the good that will come from being planted, just as we dont always know the blessings that can come through change and difficult times.

Do Unto OttersBy Laurie Keller

Part of the back-to-school experience involves learning effective, loving ways to relate to others. Although this book doesnt specifically mention the Bible, Christian families can use it to illustrate the love of God. Its a fun-filled play on words similar to the Bible verse referred to as the Golden Rule: Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31. This is a meaningful story about kindness and love.

Hand to HoldBy J.J. Heller

An important part of successfully sending kids off to school (or teaching them at home) is creating a loving environment for them to be encouraged and successful while also assuring them of your unconditional love as a parent. Hand to Hold is a love song from parent to child and is a beautiful way to inspire young children at the beginning of a new school year.

The rest is here:

Hooked On Books: Celebrating Going Back To School With Good Reads - Osprey Observer

Diane Warren; BeyoncPhoto: Frazer Harrison; Gareth Cattermole (Getty Images)

If there is one rule on the internet, its Dont poke the Beyhive (followed closely by Dont incite the Barbz). Unfortunately, Diane Warren wasnt aware of this golden ruleor perhaps, in her hubris, simply chose to disregard itand she certainly felt the full force of Beyonc stans displeasure after commenting on the amount of writers credited on Renaissance.

Warren, a prolific songwriter with 32 top-ten Billboard hits to her name, didnt call out Beyonc by name. However, fans justifiably assumed she was referencing the singer (and specifically, her new track Alien Superstar) when Warren tweeted on Monday, How can there be 24 writers on a song? Warren added a pointed eye roll to the end of her tweet, though she was quick to add, This isnt meant as shade, Im just curious.

After sorting through the immediate deluge of angry fans, Warren was able to sate her professional curiosity Ok, its prob samples that add up the ammount [sic] of writerrs [sic], she tweeted, begging the question: how does an industry veteran like Warren not understand sampling? but not before she was taken to task by frequent Beyonc collaborator and Renaissance contributor The Dream.

You mean hows does our (Black) culture have so many writers, well it started because we couldnt afford certain things starting out,so we started sampling and it became an Artform, a major part of the Black Culture (hip hop) in America.Had that era not happen who knows. U good? He responded in a tweet, adding in a second, Btw I know its not a one on one writing contest you looking for from no one over here you dont want that smoke And you know I love you, but come on. Stop acting like your records havent been sampled.

While The Dreams response certainly received some backlash of its own not everyone was sure about the accuracy of his history lesson his spiel certainly humbled Warren. She replied, I didnt mean that as an attack or as disrespect. I didnt know this, thank U for making me aware of it. No need to be mean about it.

She further posted, Ok, I meant no disrespect to @Beyonce, who Ive worked with and admire. Im sorry for the misunderstanding. Truthfully, it doesnt seem like there was much of a misunderstanding at allWarren never denied that her comments were about Beyonc (her collaboration with whom she recently deemed a favorite of her career). And that damning eye roll emoji suggests there was at least some degree of shade being thrown. In any case, Warren has probably learned her lesson about angering Beyonc stans.

See the rest here:

Diane Warren apologizes after questioning the amount of writers on on a Beyonc song - The A.V. Club

Adam Graham| Guest columnist

As the youngest and first openly gay mayor of The Village, Im grateful to my constituents for putting their faith in me to serve. I regret that upsetting circumstances prevented me from fulfilling my role, but I hope my story will open the minds and hearts of people who hear it.

I made the difficult decision to resign from the mayorship after experiencing retaliation that distracted me from my duties. I was followed home from meetings, verbally harassed and threatened, and had my tires slashed. I was the subject of jokes and abuse by anti-LGBTQ politicians. The truth is no one should have to fear for their safety simply for being themselves and trying to do the right thing, but thats what I faced. Stepping down from the job I loved was the most difficult decision Ive made.

The reality is that LGBTQ residents, people of color, women and other marginalized groups of people still face unacceptable levels of discrimination in our home state, and the harms are exacerbated in small towns and rural areas. And after enduring a years-long pandemic, a national racial reckoning and mounting tensions about the future, our nation is suffering from extreme polarization that is pitting us against one another and causing fear and misunderstanding. Across the country, lawmakers have introduced record-high numbers of anti-LGBTQ bills. Harassment and violence are on the rise. As one of only six openly LGBTQ elected officials in Oklahoma, I know personally that there is still too much unfamiliarity around what it means to be gay, and its an impediment to our ability to grow and become stronger. I believe if we dont have more conversations and empathy, we wont be able to keep moving in the right direction.

Most importantly, I continue to have big hopes and dreams for this community. I believe in the Golden Rule of treating others as I would want to be treated and encouraging people to remember we have more in common than we have differences. Ive met so many new and inspiring people during my five years on council that Im confident that the small but vocal minority who caused me harm will continue to be in the minority. The majority of us agree that taking care of our families, improving our economy and contributing to the greater good will make us stronger not tearing one aother down or spewing hate on social media.

Im excited to embark on other opportunities to contribute to making The Village and the state of Oklahoma a kinder, more welcoming home for all. I was glad to do this in my capacity as vice mayor and member of the city council over the past few years. Theres nothing I care about more than service. Im committed to doing my part, and there is no doubt in my mind we can only move forward, not backward.

Adam Graham is the former mayor of The Village.

Read the rest here:

Adam Graham: Why I resigned from mayor of The Village - Oklahoman.com

Daily Mail-Footage shows Spanish police raiding the beach and using a helicopter to drive off dozens of looters trying to snatch cannabis from a crashed drug traffickers' boat. The bizarre raid was filmed from a nearby rooftop in Sanlucar de Barrameda, Cadiz province, southern Spain, on 29th July, in the middle of a drugs bust.

Spanish customs officers had intercepted the crashed drug dealers' boat after it was beached on the sand. But when they tried to secure the crime scene, they were swamped by locals apparently trying to steal the stash.

BOOOOOOOO!!! What the fuck is going on in Spain? Do they not live by the motto "Finders keepers, losers weepers" or as the locals might say (according to Google Translate) "Buscadores guardianes, perdedores llorones". That was always the fairest way to live life back when we were kids because it was simple without any politics or bias.

I know all the John Q. Laws out there will try to tell me that this weed needed to be comprehended after the bust for evidence and to get it off the street. But it's not like these people are kids in a candy store for hard drugs that can cause them to look like Mia Wallace if they went to the deep end of the pool without any clue what they were doing.

In addition to violating the whole, "Finders Keepers" Golden Rule, a bunch of free weed is good for local morale and also hits drug dealers where it hurts by removing a good chunk of their customer base since nobody is going to look to buy weed if they just got a trash bag of it off a boat while chilling at the beach. Day 1 Supply and Demand stuff right there.

I may just be an idiot blogger, but I'm an idiot blogger that has rewatched the entire series of The Wire at least 8 times. Which is why I wish the police would reconsider and give the weed back to the people that briefly held it in their hands in what had to be the best beach day of all-time for them that should never be taken away by anyone, let alone the people they pay to serve and protect them.

Giphy Images.

Read the original:

Police In Spain Made A Massive Weed Bust Then Were Forced To Chase Down All Of The Looters That Were Loading Up On Free Pot - Barstool Sports

In a recent interview with ET, Sofia Carson opened up about what advice she would give to an up-and-coming actor entering the scene in showbiz. The actress's latest Netflix film Purple Hearts raised a lot of buzz among netizens. In the film, Carson is cast opposite Nicholas Galitzine in an enemies-to-lovers romantic plotline.

During the interview, Carson shared her golden rule, "Whenever I do see younger actors, the first thing I say is, 'Keep your mom close,' because there's nothing like having family in this business." She continued, "I've been so lucky that [my mom and I are] on this journey together. She protects me fearlessly. So, I always say that." Carson also talked about the advice her mom gives her, "And then, I always say just to remain grateful and to enjoy every second of the journey. My mom always says, 'It's not about where you're going, but it's about enjoying this moment right here, right now because right now is a gift.'"

Carson elaborated, "It's very easy to get caught up in what's next or more or bigger, but enjoying right here, right now is so important." The Download actress recounted that through the "many lessons" she has learnt in this industry "perhaps the most important is the power of our voice." She went on to add, "We're so lucky to be in the position that we are in, to have the platforms that we have, to have voices that are amplified to millions of people around the world, and to take that responsibility seriously."

ALSO READA Perfect Pairing Twitter Review: Fans give the 'wonderfully cheezy' film a mixed reaction

More:

Purple Hearts star Sofia Carson shares the first advice she gives to newcomers in the industry - PINKVILLA

EVERYONE knows that drunk driving is illegal - but do you know all the rules?

While we all know you shouldn't get behind the wheel after a drink, there are other, lesser known laws to keep you safe that could see you slapped with a 2,500 fine.

2

Dominic Smith, director of the UK's leading criminal driving legal firmPatterson Law, has now issued an urgent warning about how to stay safe and avoid falling foul of strict drink-driving rules.

Under the Road Traffic Act 1988, a motorist can be found guilty of an offence if they are simply "in charge" of their car while drunk.

So while it may seem harsh, this can see motorists prosecuted for driving under the influence even if they never opened their car or switched on their engines.

The offence could see drivers banned from the road, slapped with a fine of up to 2,500 - or even imprisoned for three months.

The strict rules have led Dominic to warn motorists to think twice next time they have a drink.

The legal expert said one of the most common times people get caught out is at the pub, when revellers might try and grab something from their car.

He said: "I've known people to be arrested who have been at the pub with their keys on them and they nip out to the car to get a pack of cigarettes or a coat."

He added drivers are then shocked when they "then get arrested for being drunk and in charge of their car."

In the eyes of the law, drivers are guilty if they are believed to have been intending to drive their car - which can mean even sitting in the backseat with the keys in your pocket.

This can cause Brits to be especially vulnerable when they are sleeping in their car - as dozing motorists may still fall under "being in control of a motor vehicle".

Dominic said: "You don't need to start the car or even sit in it to be 'drunk in charge'.

"The second you go out of your house, if you have your car keys on you, you are technically in charge of the car."

Dominic added that the only way to defend against the offence is to prove in court there was NO WAY you were going to drive - a particularly difficult assumption to challenge.

The driving lawyer issued his golden rule: If you have a drink - you can't even go near your car. No exceptions.

Despite believing they are fine to drive, research by lease companyVanaramafound millions of drivers could unintentionally drive over the limit while thinking they are sober enough.

According to the study, almost a third of UK drivers were unaware that a glass of champagne would put them over the legal limit.

Another 22 percent of motorists didn't know that drinking two small glasses of wine would also make getting behind the wheel illegal - which is an offence even with the engine off.

2

See the original post:

Im a driving lawyer these are the drink driving rules that NO ONE knows about... - The Sun

My friend Liam Doyle moved to Tampa in January for a new job, leaving behind deep roots and relationships in Acadiana. A couple of weeks ago, he shared a truth I learned long ago: Making friends as an adult is tough.

Having made eight major moves as an adult, Ive gone through the struggles but have ultimately been blessed to build deep friendships in each place. Still, I appreciate the comfort and understanding old friends offer. Earlier this week, I visited with four old friends and later had to apologize when I realized I may have talked their arms and legs off.

What has worked for me in the past is not rocket science. Just do things. In years past, I read the newspaper and found events I believed would be interesting, and I went to them. I also invited people to lunch and after a few lunches, I invited them to dinner and cooked for them. I joined things churches, book clubs and more. I also started a ladies investment club in my last two cities. Ten ladies and I met once a month. In both cities, those ladies became some of my closest friends.

When I spoke with Doyle about his move and quest to build new relationships, he explained that he's trying a more modern approach by going to Meetups. Last weekend he went to brunch with a group of strangers and had a lovely time.

There were 12 people in their 20s and 30s. Im 33 so they were right in my age group, Doyle said. Ill definitely go to the restaurant again and do more Meetup events in the future.

Meetup is an online app open to anyone over 18. I checked and found 16 options of things I could do this weekend from a writing group called Shut up and write (they meet virtually, introduce themselves and then write in silence, basically holding each other accountable), to a real estate investing group, a board games and cards group and more.

Doyle said he didnt look at his move as an opportunity to reinvent himself.

I know exactly who I am, but I appreciate the ease of having a friend who has known me, he said. It can be difficult to introduce myself. People tend to make assumptions when they see someone in a wheelchair. Its very draining to have to constantly explain that I have a full-time job and can do anything I want to do with a few modifications. People who know me, know that.

Doyle said having a visible disability creates interesting internal dialogue and external conversations.

Any time I meet someone new, in the back of my head I'm wondering, Are they seeing me or the wheelchair first? he said. I dont have the time to explain to every single person I meet for them to see me for who I am I have to be selective about who I spend that time with.

Each week we'll highlights the best eats and events in metro Baton Rouge. Sign up today.

Even with the occasional hiccup, he says that moving six months ago has already been an opportunity for growth and change.

For example, I like hockey now. I had been to see the Ice Gators, but I didnt really get it, he said. Now, with the hockey team here, Im a big fan of the game.

Jessica Trahan, director at Wesley United Campus Ministry at the University of Louisiana Lafayette, said shes seen so many people struggling with the issue Doyle is working toward rectifying at his new home in Florida.

She said that during the past few years, many of us became accustomed to to being home or with one or two of our closest people.

It was like we forgot how to meet people and be with people, she said.

Her recommendation is simple.

The easiest thing is to be yourself, even though were always taught we should be measuring ourselves against others youre going to lose the comparison game every time, Trahan said. If youre not willing to be vulnerable when youre meeting people, there will be limits to the depth of relationships youll build.

Beyond that, she said the Golden Rule stuff always holds true.

Treat people well how you would hope to be treated in return. Be honest. Be kind, she said. Sometimes its as easy as showing up. Say yes to new things. Acknowledging that its nerve wracking and a bit scary is perfectly understandable and a normal part of it, but it shouldnt be the reason you dont try.

Read more:

Making new friends as an adult is hard, but worth the effort - The Advocate