Category Archives: Childfree

Family support system involving two married individuals supporting their offspring

The traditional family structure in the United States is considered a family support system involving two married individuals providing care and stability for their biological offspring. However, this two-parent, heterosexual, nuclear family has become less prevalent, and nontraditional family forms have become more common.[2] The family is created at birth and establishes ties across generations.[3] Those generations, the extended family of aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins, can hold significant emotional and economic roles for the nuclear family.

Over time, the structure has had to adapt to very influential changes, including divorce and more single-parent families, teenage pregnancy and unwed mothers, same-sex marriage, and increased interest in adoption. Social movements such as the feminist movement and the stay-at-home father have contributed to the creation of alternative family forms, generating new versions of the American family.

The nuclear family has been considered the "traditional" family structure since the Soviet Union scare in the cold war of the 1950s. The nuclear family consists of a mother, father, and the children. The two-parent nuclear family has become less prevalent, and pre-American and European family forms have become more common.[2] Beginning in the 1970s in the United States, the structure of the "traditional" nuclear American family began to change. It was the women in the households that began to make this change. They decided to begin careers outside of the home and not live according to the male figures in their lives.[4]

These include same-sex relationships, single-parent households, adopting individuals, and extended family systems living together. The nuclear family is also having fewer children than in the past.[5] The percentage of nuclear-family households is approximately half what it was at its peak in the middle of the 20th century.[6] The percentage of married-couple households with children under 18, but without other family members (such as grandparents), has declined to 23.5% of all households in 2000 from 25.6% in 1990, and from 45% in 1960. In November 2016, the Current Population Survey of the United States Census Bureau reported that 69 percent of children under the age of 18 lived with two parents, which was a decline from 88 percent in 1960.[7]

A single parent (also termed lone parent or sole parent) is a parent who cares for one or more children without the assistance of the other biological parent. Historically, single-parent families often resulted from death of a spouse, for instance in childbirth. This term is can be broken down into two types: sole parent and co-parent. A sole parent is managing all of the responsibilities of child-rearing on their own without financial or emotional assistance. A sole parent can be a product of abandonment or death of the other parent or can be a single adoption or artificial insemination. A co-parent is someone who still gets some type of assistance with the child/children. Single-parent homes are increasing as married couples divorce, or as unmarried couples have children. Although widely believed to be detrimental to the mental and physical well being of a child, this type of household is tolerated.[8]

The percentage of single-parent households has doubled in the last three decades, but that percentage tripled between 1900 and 1950.[9] The sense of marriage as a "permanent" institution has been weakened, allowing individuals to consider leaving marriages more readily than they may have in the past.[10] Increasingly, single-parent families are due to out of wedlock births, especially those due to unintended pregnancy. From 1960 to 2016, the percentage of U.S. children under 18 living with one parent increased from 9 percent (8 percent with mothers, 1 percent with fathers) to 27 percent (23 percent with mothers, 4 percent with fathers).[7]

Stepfamilies are becoming more familiar in America. Divorce rates are rising and the remarriage rate is rising as well, therefore, bringing two families together making stepfamilies. Statistics show that there are 1,300 new stepfamilies forming every day. Over half of American families are remarried, that is 75% of marriages ending in divorce, remarry.[11]

The extended family consists of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. In some circumstances, the extended family comes to live either with or in place of a member of the nuclear family. An example includes elderly parents who move in with their children due to old age. This places large demands on the caregivers, particularly the female relatives who choose to perform these duties for their extended family.[12]

Historically, among certain Asian and Native American cultures, the family structure consisted of a grandmother and her children, especially daughters, who raised their own children together and shared child care responsibilities. Uncles, brothers, and other male relatives sometimes helped out. Romantic relationships between men and women were formed and dissolved with little impact on the children who remained in the mother's extended family.

A married couple was defined as a "husband and wife enumerated as members of the same household" by the U.S. Census Bureau,[13] but they will be categorizing same-sex couples as married couples if they are married. Same-sex couples who were married were previously recognized by the Census Bureau as unmarried partners.[14] Same-sex marriage is legally permitted across the country since June 26, 2015, when the Supreme Court issued its decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. Polygamy is illegal throughout the U.S.[15]

Although cousin marriages are illegal in most states, they are legal in many states, the District of Columbia and some territories. Some states have some restrictions or exceptions for cousin marriages and/or recognize such marriages performed out-of-state.Since the 1940s, the United States marriage rate has decreased, whereas rates of divorce have increased.[16]

Living as unwed partners is also known as cohabitation. The number of heterosexual unmarried couples in the United States has increased tenfold, from about 400,000 in 1960 to more than five million in 2005.[17] This number would increase by at least another 594,000 if same-sex partners were included.[17] Of all unmarried couples, about 1 in 9 (11.1% of all unmarried-partner households) are homosexual.[17]

The cohabitation lifestyle is becoming more popular in today's generation.[18] It is more convenient for couples not to get married because it can be cheaper and simpler. As divorce rates rise in society, the desire to get married is less attractive for couples uncertain of their long-term plans.[17]

Parents can be either the biological mother or biological father, or the legal guardian for adopted children. Traditionally, mothers were responsible for raising the kids while the father was out providing financially for the family. The age group for parents ranges from teenage parents to grandparents who have decided to raise their grandchildren, with teenage pregnancies fluctuating based on race and culture.[19] Older parents are financially established and generally have fewer problems raising children compared to their teenage counterparts.[20] In 2013, the highest teenage birth rate was in Alabama, and the lowest in Wyoming.[21][22]

A housewife or "homemaker" is a married woman who is not employed outside the home to earn income, but stays at home and takes care of the home and children. This includes doing common chores such as cooking, washing, cleaning, etc. The roles of women working within the house have changed drastically as more women start to pursue careers. The amount of time women spend doing housework declined from 27 hours per week in 1965, to less than 16 hours in 1995, but it is still substantially more housework than their male partners.[23]

A breadwinner is the main financial provider in the family. Historically the husband has been the breadwinner; that trend is changing as wives start to take advantage of the women's movement to gain financial independence for themselves. According to The New York Times, "In 2001, wives earned more than their spouses in almost a third of married households where the wife worked."[24]

Stay-at-home dads or "househusbands" are fathers that do not participate in the workforce and stay at home to raise their childrenthe male equivalent to housewives. Stay-at-home dads are not as popular in American society.[25] According to the U.S. Census Bureau, "There are an estimated 105,000 'stay-at-home' dads. These are married fathers with children under fifteen years of age who are not in the workforce primarily so they can care for family members, while their wives work for a living outside the home. Stay-at-home dads care for 189,000 children."[26]

An only child (single child) is one without any biological or adopted brothers or sisters. Only children often perform better in school and in their careers than children with siblings.[23]

Childfree couples choose to not have children. These include young couples, who plan to have children later, as well as those who do not plan to have any children. Involuntary childlessness may be caused by infertility, medical problems, death of a child, or other factors.

Adopted children are children that were given up at birth, abandoned or were unable to be cared for by their biological parents. They may have been put into foster care before finding their permanent residence. It is particularly hard[clarification needed] for adopted children to get adopted from foster care: 50,000 children were adopted in 2001.[27] The average age of these children was 7,[clarification needed] which shows that fewer older children were adopted.[27]

Same-sex parents are gay, lesbian, or bisexual couples that choose to raise children. Nationally, 66% of female same-sex couples and 44% of male same-sex couples live with children under eighteen years old.[25] In the 2000 United States Census, there were 594,000 households that claimed to be headed by same-sex couples, with 72% of those having children.[28] In July 2004, the American Psychological Association concluded that "Overall results of research suggests that the development, adjustment, and well-being of children with lesbian and gay and bisexual parents do not differ markedly from that of children with heterosexual parents."[29]

Single-parent homes in America are increasingly common. With more children being born to unmarried couples and to couples whose marriages subsequently dissolve, more children live with just one parent. The proportion of children living with a never-married parent has grown, from 4% in 1960 to 42% in 2001.[30] Of all single-parent families, 83% are mother-child families.[30]

The adoption requirements and policies for adopting children have made it harder for foster families and potential adoptive families to adopt. Before a family can adopt, they must go through the state, county, and agency criteria. Adoption agencies' criteria express the importance of age of the adoptive parents, as well as the agency's desire for married couples over single adopters.[31] Adoptive parents also have to deal with criteria that are given by the birth parents of the adoptive child. The different criteria for adopting children makes it harder for couples to adopt children in need,[31] but the strict requirements can help protect the foster children from unqualified couples.[31]

Currently 1,500,000 (2% of all U.S children) are adopted. There are different types of adoption; embryo adoption when a couple is having trouble conceiving a child and instead choose to adopt an embryo that was created using another couple's sperm and egg conjoined outside the womb, this often occurs with leftover embryos from another couple's successful IVF cycle. international adoption where couples adopt children that come from foreign countries, and private adoption which is the most common form of adoption. In a private adoption, families can adopt children via licensed agencies or by directly contacting the child's biological parents.

The traditional "father" and "mother" roles of the nuclear family have become blurred over time. Because of the women's movement's push for women to engage in traditionally masculine pursuits in society, as women choose to sacrifice their child-bearing years to establish their careers, and as fathers feel increasing pressure, as well as desire, to be involved with tending to children, the traditional roles of fathers as the "breadwinners" and mothers as the "caretakers" have come into question.[32]

The family structure of African-Americans has long been a matter of national public policy interest.[33] The 1965 report by Daniel Patrick Moynihan, known as The Moynihan Report, examined the link between black poverty and family structure.[33] It hypothesized that the destruction of the Black nuclear family structure would hinder further progress toward economic and political equality.[33]

When Moynihan wrote in 1965 on the coming destruction of the Black family, the out-of-wedlock birthrate was 25% amongst Blacks.[34] In 1991, 68% of Black children were born outside of marriage.[35] In 2011, 72% of Black babies were born to unwed mothers.[36][37]

The television industry initially helped create a stereotype of the American nuclear family. During the era of the baby boomers, families became a popular social topic, especially on television.[38] Family shows such as Roseanne, All in the Family, Leave It to Beaver, The Cosby Show, Married... with Children, The Jeffersons, and Good Times, Everybody Loves Raymond have portrayed different social classes of families growing up in America. Those "perfect" nuclear families have changed as the years passed and have become more inclusive, showing single-parent and divorced families, as well as older singles.[8] Television shows that show single-parent families include Half & Half, One on One, Murphy Brown, and Gilmore Girls.

While it did not become a common occurrence the iconic image of the American family was started in the early-1930s. It was not until WWII that families generally had the economic income in which to successfully propagate this lifestyle.[39]

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Family structure in the United States - Wikipedia

At some point in our lives, women just get tired of parents asking when youll give them grandchildren, or your friends questioning when you and your partner will tie the knot. The pressure to commit to entrenched social expectations and gender stereotypes is real, and it does little good if any.

Meanwhile, more and more women are willing to take the choices of their lives into their own hands, something that essentially belongs to them. This Reddit thread shared on the Ask Women community shows a glimpse into how things are going for these women. Women who didn't follow the social norm of getting married & having kidswhat are you doing instead? asked Redditor -Penguin_Anxiety- and the responses started pouring in.

Below we selected some of the most illuminating ones that show how rewarding it can be to live your life as you want, and not as you're told to.

Im single with no children. I just booked a trip to NYC and one to Mexico in the summer, and planning a trip to Europe for the fall. Im thinking about getting a second masters degree and after seeing these responses, Im thinking why the hell not?

I have money and time to pursue my interests and because of that, Ive gotten to know exactly who I was. It turns out I like me a lot.

catdogbird29 , Jonathan Daniels Report

Bored Pandaspoke withCatdogbird29, a childfree and single woman who shared her experience in response to this thread on the Ask Women subreddit.She wrote: Im single with no children. I just booked a trip to NYC and one to Mexico in the summer, and am planning a trip to Europe for the fall. Im thinking about getting a second masters degree and after seeing these responses, Im thinking 'why the hell not?' She also added that she has money and time to pursue her interests and because of that, she has gotten to know exactly who she is. It turns out I like me a lot, the woman added.

I think there is a lot of societal pressure for women to get married, Catdogbird29 told us. The message that marriage and kids = happiness is literally everywhere in our lives, from the media, friends, and family. I felt growing up that my life would not be complete unless I got married and had kids, and it led me to make some decisions that were not in my best interest.

Having said that, the woman believes that society is changing. It is becoming more acceptable for women to stay single and childless, but there is still considerable pressure to settle down.

Living many lives. I was a morning baker at a corner bakery in a small town. I was a stripper in a big urban city. I was a roadie for a punk rock band. I was a manager in a large packaging warehouse. Now I'm a budtender at my corner potshop. I dont like a place? I get up and move across the country, sleep in my car until I find a job. I want to live a bunch more lives. I love the freedom and never want to give a shred of it up.

muffinmamners , Anh Tran Report

I'm 60, never got married, never had kids. What have I done instead? Lived my best life. It's been fantastic, so far.

Had a successful career. Launched a successful second career in my 40s. Retired early (which I never could have done with a spouse and children). Travelled all over the world when I was younger. Indulged all my hobbies (reading, quilting, cooking, gaming).

As someone else so aptly put it: Whatever the f**k I want.

mosselyn , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

The Redditor also said that she learned that she likes being single and she generally doesnt feel a lot of need to be in a relationship. I realized after a bad breakup that I stayed in the relationship for so long because I felt like I had to and I would be unhappy if I wasnt in a relationship. I felt worse when I thought I would run out of time to have kids.

Moreover, It didnt help that I didnt have women in my life that were happy single, and I watched as they made compromise after compromise to make their male partners happy at their own expense. I thought this was just the way it was for women. Then, as I was healing from my breakup, I realized I was far happier on my own than I ever was when I was dating or in a relationship, she said.

I got married but I'm not ever having kids. My husband worked from home today and we drank margaritas in bed and booked a holiday. Aside from having the responsibility of a dog I pretty much do exactly what I want to. I'm aware some of that privilege comes from money, rather than not having kids, but not having them has afforded me an incredible amount of freedom and peace

Vegetable-Ad-647 , Toa Heftiba Report

Rescuing animals. Have my own business. I read a lot. Pursue art. Wake up whenever I want. Go on long travel trips with my friends.

crescentcactus , Autri Taheri Report

Get 4 degrees (2masters and 1 Ph.D.), buy a house, move whenever I want for a better job opportunity or a promotion, relax after work, and on the weekend coz I can have a full night sleep.

I was married which was unfortunate.

tiny-bird-292 , Lesly Juarez Report

Catdogbird29 confessed that the quality of her life improved a lot after her breakup. I no longer had to care for another person or make compromises about anything. What movie do I want to watch? What groceries do I want to buy? Where do I want to go for vacation? All my decisions. Moreover, the woman started trying new hobbies and eating healthier. My stress levels have dropped now that Im single. I dont see the same in my friends and family with kids.

She believes that women in general take on so much of a mental workload when it comes to maintaining a relationship and care for children. We hand ourselves over to make other people happier and we neglect ourselves and it isnt fair. Society expects women to sacrifice for their husbands and children, the Redditor explained. Although not all relationships have to be like this, Catdogbird29 said she doesnt see equal partnerships modeled anywhere, even among my friends and family that insist their relationships are different.

Living my best life? I always wanted kids, but I have been unlucky in love and having children is not something I want to do on a solo salary with me as the only caretaker. Unfortunately, the older I get the less patience I have with men. I have stopped dating during the pandemic and I dont know if I will ever start up again! I have so many hetero friends in unhappy marriages where the women work full time, run the household, and are basically the only children caregiver. There are so many memes about married men acting like giant children so I feel I may have dodged a bullet. Im sad I wont get to be a mom, but i think its for the best. I dont want to raise an adult or be disrespected by a man who is perfectly capable in the workplace but decides to tune me out in the running of our home.

So I do what I want and Im really freaking happy. I own my own home, I have two degrees, I take lots of trips with my friends, have hobbies, love my job and coworkers, and dote on my nieces. Its a great life!

adjur , averie woodard Report

49 here. Self employed massage therapist, make my own hours, my own house, and make enough money to keep my 3 feline gluttons fat and happy. Im solidly lower middle class with my income and I would be absolutely screwed if I had kids. The odds of single parenthood were just too high and I wasnt willing to chance it. No regrets here.

FeatherLuck , Toa Heftiba Report

Eating chips and watching tv at 3am. I will wake up around 1pm tomorrow. I will go to my job as a bartender at 5pm tomorrow. By the end of the week I will joke that I'm tired of partying. But I won't actually be - I'm gonna dance to a DJ and destroy my ear drums this weekend, like I do every weekend.

thunderling , Helena Lopes Report

I think the most common misconception about childfree and unmarried women is that we are bitter and jealous of our parent/married friends and family, Catdogbird29 told us and added that shes not at all. I only want my loved ones to be happy and fulfilled and if that means getting married and having kids then I am happy for them. I will gladly hang out with you and your spouse, or babysit your kids for you. My friends are my friends regardless of their relationship status.

Another misconception about childfree and single women is that they are lonely. Im not at all. Im introverted by nature so I love my alone time. Sure, sometimes I wish I had a partner but Ive seen just as many women desperate to get a moment of peace in their day. I know there are plenty of women that are bitter, jealous, and lonely, but I would encourage them to find whatever they are looking for in other people in themselves instead. The Redditor wants to remind everyone that You are a whole person. There is no 'other half' out there for you.

Enjoying a free and happy solo life, travelling around, working for myself, publishing my own books and not answering to anyone else. Ive never wanted children because I knew it would curtail my freedom. Im 54 with no regrets (apart from an eight-year marriage in my thirties).

Reddish81 , freestocks Report

I've worked full time in my career for 13 years. My master's degree helped that one out.

I became a homeowner at 21. I'm 38 now and am on my 3rd owned house.

I had a hysterectomy in 2020, so this whole "child free" thing is permanent.

I have a roommate; not because I need help paying bills, but because it makes my house more lively and I like the company.

I bought all the stuff to make an awesome home gym that I use 5x a week.

I do want a marriage, but am definitely not willing to settle for less than what I can already give myself. My quality of life will not diminish when I agree to be in a marriage.

souponastick , Brian Wangenheim Report

I just bought my dream house a month ago and got a better job making more than double what I was making with a huge bonus. That would have never happened if I would have gotten married/ had kids with the man I was supposed to marry ( I called off the wedding and split).

I can pretty much do whatever I want to do.

My bf ( not the guy I was supposed to marry) and I go exploring all the time. We just pick a trail on the map we haven't done yet, leash the dogs, and go.

I also love dancing and can easily get prettied up, pick a dress, and hit the dance floor. Anything from ballroom to club I fit right in and have so much fun. I couldn't do that if I had kids.

I love having the freedom to literally just do whatever pops in my head.

My parents had 13 kids and that put me off having kids. I've raised enough of them already.

squigglesmcwiggles , Louise Burton Report

I have traveled to 20+ countries solo. Live in a poppin part of the city, bought a white couch, a luxury car, plan to retire earlybut the most important thing I do is work remotely so I can visit my amazing nephews as often as I wish. I didnt choose to not follow the social norm of getting married/having kiddos, Ive just dated piles of garbage that inherently prevented that from happening. Then one day I looked in the mirror and turned 40, so I suppose Im now too late to the bio-kids party. Oh well!!!!

ApfelFarFromTree , Steven Lewis Report

Working on my second and third bachelors and then onto a Ph.D. in political science with an emphasis on women's rights to get down to fixing this s**t for all of us.

Glittering-Bat353 , Brett Jordan Report

Staying with my long term boyfriend for life. We may get married. We may not. I kinda just want to be engaged forever lol (and I want to get him an engagement ring too!)

Were never having kids. Instead, we plan on traveling the world! And focusing on our careers and hobbies.

-doobert- , Jakob Owens Report

Going to law school, taking care of my parents and focusing on my mental health. Im very happy doing it and am just now beginning to accept that I dont have to follow everyones expectations. Theres no reason to sacrifice your happiness making decisions that nobody but you will have to live with forever.

Wrong-Barracuda-223 Report

Currently, Im drinking coffee and watching the sun rise. My house is on a mountain and I have a beautiful view. Also, I bought this house with cash.

On Friday Im leaving for Vegas for a quick weekend trip.

Did I mention I quit my job a month ago because I didnt feel like working there anymore? I started a new job this week but it was nice to take a month off to finish my office renovation.

Coder-Cat , Thibault Penin Report

Work a fulfilling career, volunteer at a wildlife rescue center, travel, cook, read, play the guitar, enjoy time with my fianc and friends whenever I feel like it, regularly exercise, have frequent sex, invest my extra time and money into my health and skincare routine, sleep in, have spa days once a week, donate money to charity, hike, bike, ski, camp, and going dancing.

These are a few of the things I do instead of having kids lol

Other_Ad_8844 , Khuong Nguyen Report

Moving to different states, changing careers because I feel like it, living a reasonably good life on 30k, and enjoying a banquet of men. I'm almost 50 and I have never felt I was missing out. A marriage of less than 3 years gave me a taste of that white picket fence life, and it's not for me.

Turnips4evr , Edward Cisneros Report

Currently helping my sister raise her kid! She's a single mom by choice and I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds right now. I love watching my nephew grow up and I feel like it's completely satisfying any maternal urges I have. And at the end of the day I still have my freedom and independence.

BrittLee8 , Omar Lopez Report

Im building my dream home - an eclectic little tiny house on the water, that Ill never have to share.

oozoo_ Report

I got a PhD, traveled, lost weight got mentally healthy, focused on myself, then found the love of my life and now we are building a dream house and planning a future without kids. Maybe we will get another dog.

aries2084 Report

Halfway to a paid off house, living with my animals, successful in my career, dating someone that may or may not develop in to something long term.

There are more pros than cons for me to not being married with kids (and possibly divorced) in my 40s.

maybenotrelevantbut , Avi Naim Report

Getting two degrees, working my a** off at a job I genuinely love even it's intense and stressful! I'm also helping my parents as they get older, building a bunch of furniture, writing silly s**t to unwind, and chilling with my cats.

I did have a very brief period of being married (which I didn't tolerate for long).

scared_nursling , Tran Mau Tri Tam Report

Note: this post originally had 67 images. Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Excerpt from:

Someone Asks Women Who Refused To Marry Or Have Kids How Life Has Been, And They Deliver 30 Honest Responses - Bored Panda

Cotija is perched on a walkway high above the Goat Playground at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, waiting patiently at the wheel of treats.

The dairy goat sticks her head through the railing to look down at Bailey Jones, the zoos domestic goat lead keeper, whos standing on the ground getting ready to pour a handful of hay pellets into a cup. Cotija will then use her front hoof to pedal a bicycle wheel to work a pulley system that pulls the cup up to her mouth, where she knows the exact spot to stop the cup so the treats slide perfectly into her mouth.

Colby, the queen of the goat yard, is no dummy. If she stands beneath Cotija, she knows shes likely to be showered in whatever pellets dont make it into her buddys mouth.

Theyre fast learners, said Jones, whos also lead keeper for Australia Walkabout and Scutes Family Gallery, where she cares for superslow sloths who are decidedly not fast learners. They learn in two to three sessions. I love to train them. Theyre super food-motivated.

Large, purring carnivorous cats: Meet the mountain lions at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

What the heck are domestic goats doing at a zoo?

The eight ladies Ricotta, Asiago, Muenster, Colby, Queso, Mozzarella, Cotija and Brie are nicknamed The Cheese Girls, because theyre dairy goats who would normally make goat milk and cheese. The 5-year-olds, who arent related, came to the zoo from a Colorado dairy farm in 2016 to provide an interactive experience for zoo guests. People are welcome to pop into their yard and brush and feed the 120- to 160-pound creatures, as long as an attendant is present. Its a popular exhibit for the smaller folks in the crowd, and usually open on weekends and whenever its above 40 degrees.

Practicing patience: Meet the two-toed sloths at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

Will the zoo be selling cheese anytime soon?

No. Much like dairy cows that produce milk when theyre brewing babies, these girls only make milk when babies are in the picture. And because the zoo said no thanks to boy goats, the ladies will remain childfree.

A recipe for goat happiness

These sturdy creatures are simple. They want to hang with their human friends, get brushed or scratched, relax in the sunshine and chew their cud. The rich mahogany-colored Queso is Jones favorite, due to the way she happily hums when shes found a particularly sunny spot to lie in. And when somebody happens to brush her while shes sunbathing, all the better. Her head tips back and she opens her mouth in a goat smile, flashing her pearly whites. Ricotta also is a zoo keeper and visitor favorite. She loves nothing more than to follow people around in the hopes of being loved on.

They remind me of a house cat and how they follow the sunbeams around the yard, Jones said.

Large and in charge: Meet the hippos at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

No Michelin-star meals needed

The girls mostly eat grass hay and a bit of produce, such as apples, carrots and romaine lettuce. Hay pellets are a special treat, as well as plain air-popped popcorn. And when a keeper drags out an old firehose dosed in blue raspberry Gatorade powder, watch out. Thats a little slice of goat heaven. And their blue tongues afterward make them even more adorable.

And let us not forget about tree boughs. When the boughs coordinator walks by, carrying their precious parcel, the goats yell at him to fork over the goods: Theyre like heeeeey, Jones said.

Why the obsession with climbing and standing on stuff?

Theyre made for it. On the bottom of their hooves is a soft pad that molds to whatever surface theyre on. Thats why they can stand on super-small surfaces and be totally comfortable. Their vision also helps. They have mesmerizing rectangle-shaped pupils that take in light differently and give them wider peripheral vision. They can see to their back feet, which also helps them climb, as well as keep a lookout for predators.

Contact the writer: 636-0270

Contact the writer: 636-0270

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Lovers of sunshine, brushing and humans: Meet the dairy goats at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo - Denver Gazette

Raising tiny humans is hard, theres no doubt about it. My utmost respect goes to the loving parents and dedicated educators out there who are helping to mold a brighter, better future for us all.

But putting all the accolades aside, parenting in itself is one hell of a strategic set of moves where small steps go a long way. And there are so many tactics from how to and what not to do when raising kids that they inevitably stir some debate. I mean, some parenting trends are really controversialjust think of family TikTok accounts. Some say it's an awesome way to communicate and spread the message, others think it may promote negative experiences often tied with social media.

So whos right? We may not exactly know, but we can find out what common parenting trends people see as nonsense. What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with? asked a Redditor called Qquackie and the answers started pouring in. Below are some of the most interesting ones!

It seems like there are as many parenting tactics as there are parents. This year, we see new trends emerging, from mindful usage of the internet to parents getting support from online groups, and gender-neutral parenting. The last trend is especially liked for millennial parents who are no longer willing to fit their children in society's predefined boxes but want to allow them to experiment, experience and express themselves.

Other new trends include baby budgeting, with parents of newborns getting a whole more money-savvy. Baby budget calculators and charity shops are on the rise as parents seem to have finally realized you dont need to spend a fortune on shoes every other month as your child is growing.

Letting your kids run amok everywhere and then being furious when other people are annoyed. I'm an older mom. I was raised with the idea that you have a social contract with others to not be a pain in the a**. I don't let my kids go nuts in public. When they are having a hard time, we leave. I don't expect them to be angels for hours in adult situations, but being told to not be loud and crazy at the grocery or in line somewhere is not child abuse. Letting your kids be a hellion that everyone else cringes to see is so unfair to your kids.

beckybrothers Report

According to Parent Circle, a new parenting trend that emerged during the pandemic has to do with dads. Turns out they too had an opportunity to rethink work-life balance, made better use of the situation and established a new approach to parenting. The extra family time was not just rewarding but also an eye-opener for the men regarding the responsibility of childcare and household work. Prior to the pandemic, mothers were taking on the biggest share of those responsibilities.

A study run by the scholars of the University ofUtah, Ball State University and the University of Texas showed that the number of couples who split childcare duties rose to 56% during the pandemic in the US. The percentage was only 45% before the pandemic hit.

When I was a teenager my parents took away the door to my room.

It's normal for teenagers to pull away from their parents, I guess this wasn't acceptable to her and she wanted to keep an eye on me at all times.

I still have severe issues relating back to this one action. This is after years of therapy and no contact.

To anyone considering this as some form of "punishment", Let me stop you right there. Nothing will get your child to disown you faster than not giving them privacy.

I think she got the idea from Dr.phil Useless c*nts, the both of them.

Gabriel_Godot , Jayden Sim Report

All of the "wine mom" merch, down to shirts for children that say horrible things like: "I'm the reason Mommy drinks"

Like, dress it up as much as you want, but "alchololism" isn't cute, as much as you want to convince yourself of it. Let alone, clothing for your CHILD who didn't ask to be born, to be treated like their existence is a burden to you. I've seen stuff like this in the kids section, from infancy to middle school sizes.

That's a trauma trifecta right there.

Storm137 , Shopwhatelse Report

That thing where they pretend they got their kids a ps5 for example, the kids are freaking out with excitement, but then its just a ps5 box filled with books or something.

MacyTmcterry , Mike Cox Report

No wonder so many parenting tactics and trends are so controversial. Not only do parents argue among themselves over whos right in adopting the best method to raise their kids, childfree people are often equally opinionated. But whatever parenting method mom and dads would choose, we like to think they all know whats best for their kids. But is it really true?

Well, to find out, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning. As our children grow, they slowly start to separate from us, she told us. From the 'Terrible Twos' to the pains of adolescence, the purpose of the journey is to teach our kids how to be independent, happy, and healthy adults who give something to the world around them.

I dont know how much of a trend it was but on TikTok, there was a trend of parents throwing away their kid's art in front of them and the parents would like laugh while the kid was sobbing.

Thats f**ked up! Of course, you cant keep every artwork your kid makes but you throw it away when they arent home or asleep. My mom used to wait until I was asleep and throw it away in the outside can

The kids I babysit their parents ask me to take their art they do with me so it doesnt pile up but I tell them Im keeping it because its so good

Theres no reason to make your kid feel like they arent a good artist or just feel like their parents dont care for some TikTok views

weston200 , Jerry Wang Report

Making children hug people they are not comfortable with.

m4maggie Report

Letting the kid make all the choices. I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way.

cihojuda , Annie Spratt Report

Susan explained that if you're making all the decisions for your children, they're not learning how to make decisions for themselves. You're not going to be around forever to advise and guide them; they have to learn to do it alone.

Let your kids have some control over things in their lives that are appropriate to their age. For example, even a 7-year-old can decide what they want to wear (as long as it's weather-appropriate and clean). The idea is to let them learn how the world works, how to interact with others, and how to make wise decisions, Susan said and added that they'll never accomplish that if you make all their decisions for them.

Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles.

AJSK18 , bruce mars Report

Oh man, Im a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this.

One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until theyre 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues.

What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty.

Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers.

My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily theyre potty trained now.

cleaning-meaning , Charles Deluvio Report

'My son/daughter is my best friend.'

No, they aren't. They have their own friends and have the agency to choose them for themselves. Over the course of a lifetime, they will have several 'best friends' but they will only have one father and mother.

Your job is to be a parent. You can't do that properly if you are trying to be a friend.

Ducra , Benjamin Manley Report

Susan argues that when people feel their lives are out of control (even teens), they will get super stressed out trying to find something they CAN control. So she invited parents to stop and ask themselves, is that what you want for your kids?

Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're "talking back". I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?

EntryRepresentative5 , Jonathan Borba Report

The bulldozer parent - ie the parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a childs life so they dont learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great.

spinefexmouse , Jordan Whitt Report

The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid.

When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games.

Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right?

Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements.

littlebunsenburner , Adi Goldstein Report

Allowing kids to constantly mess with pets, even when the pet is giving warnings that they'll attack soon.

Parents, this is a pretty solid way to start teaching kids about consent from the get go.

Decoupagetheworld Report

Fake Gentle Parenting

You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions.

canadainuk , Tim Mossholder Report

Not believing the teacher ever. My kid never lies to me.

Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kids biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they dont do the right thing.

jdith123 , Taylor Wilcox Report

Pretending that not parenting is parenting.

'I wont tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!'

StoicDonkey , Timothy Eberly Report

Not saying no to your child. They have to learn to deal with a no sometimes, and having a chat about why it is no and whether it could be a yes another time is also an important part of them learning to deal with no.

coocoorookoo121 , Kelly Sikkema Report

Talking down to kids and making them feel stupid. Sure maybe at 5 they aren't the most intellectual people, but 9/10 year old are smarter then people give them credit for. Don't talk to then like they are stupid because they are not. The only thing that does is lower their self esteem and makes them feel small.

_ManWhoSoldTheWorld_ , Zika Radosavljevic Report

Saying what goes on in this house, stays in this house. I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase.

Dixie_Maculant , Zhivko Minkov Report

Making your child terrified to fail. I remember constantly being told if I ever even got a C or below on even something as minor as a pop quiz I would be flipping burgers for a living. I was so unmotivated to even try by the time high school came, because it had been drilled into me that I was destined to be a loser.

S**tStuckInYourTeeth , Caleb Woods Report

Nonstop supervision. Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?

ansibley , Kirk Cameron Report

always letting kids win/do what they want, its unfair on older siblings because i get given chores and my little sister gets to sit about doing nothing and getting whatever she wants completely free

avixron , National Cancer Institute Report

Making your kids spend time with family even though they get treated bad. Like inlaws who would rather spend time with their other grandkids and not yours.

Caligirl0310 , Phillip Goldsberry Report

I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!

hausfrau224 Report

The thing every parents including mine said. "Finish your plate" or "Finish your plate or you won't get any dessert".

It gave you an unnecessary goal to shove food you don't want down your throat and made that into a lifelong habit. Fortunately I've always been into sports but many aren't, so now obesity is everywhere.

I knew it was a bad habit and I wouldn't stay fit for my entire life if I kept eating until I get a stomachache every single meal so I worked hard for years to finaly get rid of this habit in my early 20s when I moved into my apartment.

I will never do this to my kids.

LoganCifer , Providence Doucet Report

Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions.

They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle.

IAmRules , Kat J Report

Helicopter parenting, kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside o a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom.

Cat_Astrophe_X , Phil Hearing Report

Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once.

Oh-Oh-Ophelia Report

telling kids that studying is the only thing that they do in choldhood and that everything else is just useless stuff

grimreaper_245 , Jessica Lewis Report

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People Share 35 Parenting Trends They Strongly Disagree With - Bored Panda

Wonderful news for Disney fanatics everywhere as the company has just released the first few photos of their brand new cruise ship - The Disney Wish - and it looks phenomenal.

The ship is set join Disney's existing line of vessels this summer, but the first shots and a 3D tour give fans - young and old - a glimpse into what to expect from the new cruise.

The 3D tour opens with a sumptuous shot of the grand atrium, complete with an elaborate chandelier. There, Cinderella welcomes guests aboard, and the tour continues.

Next, we see some of the new unique features on the Disney Wish. These include the Aqua Mouse, which is a water ride attraction that measures a whopping 760ft on the top deck. The boat is also decked out with six swimming pools - including one infinity style pool - and a kid's splash zone.

Given the fact that it's a Disney cruise, there is, naturally, plenty of entertainment for the children on deck. Little ones can enter the kids club via a slide from the grand hall, and that's just the start. There's a Fairytale Hall, a Marvel Superhero Training Academy, Belle's library and Rapunzel's art studio. Star War fanatics can also board a spaceship in the Hyperspace Lounge and lose themselves as they virtually explore another galaxy.

There are also plenty of options for those hoping to revel in a little Disney magic in a childfree zone while their kids are busy. Grown up guests can a relax on deck in the special adults only zone swimming pool. Moreover, spa lovers can also indulge in aromatherapy rooms, steam rooms, spa villas and the private treatment rooms.

The ship also features a theatre, which will host a Frozen experience as well as a Marvel Cinematic Dining Adventure.

For more information on the Disney Wish's itinerary, visit the official website right here.

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The first photos of the brand new Disney cruise ship are here - Her.ie

Once considered a given of adulthood, giving birth is now something many women of childbearing age are opting out of.

A November 2021 report by the Pew Research Center found that 44% of non-parents aged 18 to 49 said it was not at all likely that they will have children someday, and the majority of them (56%) claimed that it was just because they didnt want to. While the lack of financial security and instability brought on by the pandemic are often cited as the most common reasons, one seemingly increasing trend is the desire to remain childfree in order to save the planet.

Kate Chapman, 51, is a life coach and Broadway performer who moved from rural Ohio to Boston in 1988 and was absolutely gobsmacked by the amount of people around her. To supplement her income, she would often work as a teacher or nanny. She also helped babysit the 13 children her three siblings had, and decided early on she wanted nothing to do with it:

I calculated the amount of disposable diapers, tiny baby food jars, discarded toys and books, adorable outfits, strollers, and ridiculous footwear that would soon clog the landfills popping up in small towns across the heartland Id just left. I witnessed firsthand how Capitalism had blanketed itself over child rearing, and I wanted no part of it.

As a very young woman I vowed not to contribute to the mess being created by producing another child. I saw it as a very selfish act in our society. If I really needed to be a parent, there were thousands of foster children who needed homes. Having a child of my own seemed more about narcissism and less about parenting.

Courtney Ordway, 31, similarly decided early on that she didnt want to have children, and also believes that if she ever feels the urge to be a mom, she would just go the adoption route.

There are so many children in the world who need a good home, and it would be a great honor to take care of one of them, she said.

Courtney lives in Eastern Passage, Nova Scotia, Canada, where she runs the blog Dink Life, which is all about the joys and challenges of being a DINK (Dual Income No Kids). She and her husband have been together for 10 years, and decided against having children early into their relationship.

Some of their reasons for being childfree included loving their freedom, wanting to spend money on things [they] enjoy, not creating an even bigger carbon footprint then we already have, and overpopulation in the world. One of the reasons, however, was not wanting to bring children into the world as it currently is.

The latter is interesting, because people who choose not to have children are often labeled selfish. In fact, Pope Francis recently caused quite a stir by saying that people who do not want to have a child exhibit a form of selfishness, adding that this denial of fatherhood or motherhood diminishes us, it takes away our humanity. And in this way civilization becomes aged and without humanity, because it loses the richness of fatherhood and motherhood. And our homeland suffers, as it does not have children.

But the people I interviewed believe it can actually be more selfish to have children.

The pope really needs to parent a child of his own before he says that parenting makes humans better, Kate said. In some humans it can do just the opposite.

Scott Hasting, 38, is the co-founder of the betting information website BetWorthy. He met his wife through an environment protection organization in college, and they decided not to bear a child as s/he will just suffer on Earth just as much as the Earth will suffer.

We know the needs of a growing child and the toll it can bring to the environment, he said. Think of all the clothes the baby will use, the diapers even if they are reusable, the toys. These will all go to waste and that hurts our planet so much.

At every family reunion, Scott and his wife receive lectures, endless questions, and concerned stares about their decision to remain childfree, but they are resolute in their conviction that theyre doing the right thing for both the planet and their neverborn child.

Bearing a child will just add to our carbon footprint and that is going against our values. My wife and I chose to not bear a child into a world that is doomed to suffer because of the worsening effects of climate change. We are not doing this for us; we are just trying to avoid any hardships that our supposed baby will feel.

Due to this line of thinking, people who choose to remain childfree are often described as anti-natalists. In a Reddit group for anti-natalists, one user describes the philosophy as such:

Anti-natalists assign a negative value to birth for multiple reasons, such as the presence of suffering, selfishness, consent, environmental reasons To put it shortly, we believe that giving birth is unethical.

And yet, the people that I interviewed were reluctant to label themselves as such.

Anti-natalist is a strong word to describe us, Scott said. Technically, yes, we are anti-natalists in the sense that we encourage other people to have fewer children and we dont want a child of our own. [But] in our group of friends, we are the only ones who didnt have children; most of them have one or two.

Courtney said that while she is definitely not anti-natalist, she does believe people should treat having children like a well-educated decision rather than a fact of life:

For some people being a parent is their lifes journey and greatest gift, and I would never suggest that someone doesnt follow that equally amazing path. I believe that if society supported women more in their right to choose being a parent, rather than it being an expectation of their gender, then we would see some great shifts in humanity.

Providing women in extreme poverty the education and protection to be able to choose whether or when they want to become a mom would support ending poverty, overpopulation, anxiety and depression.

Kate similarly does not consider herself anti-natalist, but believes our society should make people really know what theyre getting themselves into when they choose to have a child:

Many people havent even held a baby before theyve had their own. How do they know they are someone who is well-suited to parenting? Ive seen many people over the years produce their own offspring, only to be terribly regretful that they did. As a life coach, I hear this narrative more frequently than I ever imagined I would. I think a utopia would be one in which teenagers received a child to care for as soon as their hormones ignited.

Im certain that babysitting from the age of 13 helped me understand what parenting was all about and allowed me to understand that it wasnt the correct decision for my life. Having a child changes a life, and not always for the better. The pope is correct that we need more humanity, but having more humans isnt the way to get there. Helping humans understand that living a life centered in love is the point.

When asked whether or not they worry that they will one day regret not having children, both women responded firmly in the negative.

People often say to me You will change your mind one day or You will regret not having children when you are old. So far I havent changed my mind, and I dont fear the loneliness of not having children to take care of me in my old age, Courtney said. To have a child out of fear of missing out in the future is not a great way to live in the present moment. I only have the present moment to live in, and worrying about raising another human being is not something I want to do.

Im not sad I chose to remain child-free for the sake of the planet, Kate said. I enjoy taking care of Mother Earth in the ways I am able to do so.

A few years ago, Kate and her husband bought a 40-acre piece of land in Yoder, Colorado, where they have planted over 80 trees, dug a pond, and raised a flock of chickens. They are hoping to replant a portion of the land with native grasses this spring, in order to create a little oasis microclimate in the middle of what is quickly becoming a place of desertification.

None of this according to Kate would be possible if she was pooling all of that money and energy into sending a kid off to college. At 51, she is happy to say that shes lived a life of adventure, not tied to school schedules and 18 years of being tethered to someone with various dependence issues.

And while she will never have kids of her own, children still play a meaningful and fulfilling role in her life.

I am not childfree. There are many ways in which children have found their way into my story, and I suspect there will be more to come. In the meantime, I will plant some trees and seeds and see how I can make this little piece of Earth a bit happier than I found it.

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A November 2021 report by the Pew Research Center found that 44% of - EMEA Tribune, Breaking News, World News, Latest News, Top Headlines

On Mondaysupermodel Naomi Campbell was picturedposing with her new baby daughter for the first time on the cover of British Vogue. Having become a mother in her 50s, shedescribed having a child as'the biggest joy Icould ever imagine.'

And yetit's a 'joy' few members of the younger generation want toshare.New statistics reveal that half of women in England and Wales are now childless by their 30th birthday. In 1971, just 18 per cent of 30-year-olds had no children now that figure has risen to a record 50 per cent.

This phenomenon is by no means unique to Britain; fertility rates are collapsing across the developed world. There are all kinds of reasons for this: financial insecurity, feminism, loss of religious faith, rising infertility, and even fear of a coming climate apocalypse.

Whatever thecause of the plummeting birth rate, there's certainly been a palpable shift in the way young women think about motherhood.Increasingly, millennials and my generation, Gen Z see parenthood as restrictive, inconvenient, and somewhat irrational. Many view falling birth rates as a sign of womens liberation: not only are more of us prioritising our education and employment, but living more fun and frivolous lives. Motherhood, something once viewed as inextricably difficult but ultimately rewarding, is now pass even a little puzzling.

Nowhere is this attitude better captured than on TikTok. Collated under the hashtag #childfree, which has over 242 million views, thousands of women wonder why anyone would choose to have children and forgo their freedom to party, go on guilt-free girls nights and maximise their income. Whereas young men arerarely founddiscussing the prospect of fatherhood online, manyyoung women express a vehement dislike of motherhood.

Several give glimpses into their child-free lives, from drinking wine in the Maldives by themselves to enjoying hungover McDonalds breakfasts with uninterrupted naps. Others flaunt their ability to retain a youthful complexion, to drink hard liquor before noon, and under the hashtag #doubleincomenokids to splurge on whatever they want, from arcade machines to $100 on candy. Some even boast about their sterilisations.

Having a baby not only spoils the fun, they insist, but comes with a whole load of unnecessary discomfort. One TikToker hosts a #freebirthcontrol series in which she expresses sheer horror at various video clips of motherhood and pregnancy. Im here to remind you why you dont want kids, she warns millions of viewers, grimacing not just at stories of childbirth but at any possibility of discomfort, from swollen bellies to screaming toddlers.

Obviously, theres more to these statistics than TikTok. But the attitude of Gen Z speaks to a wider cultural shift. In my experience, it seems like hardly anyone in their early twenties is dreaming of the day they get pregnant. Were either disinterested or terrified, and plan to put it off for as long as possible.

So why do young people seem so averse to family life? I dont think its as simple as being selfish or uncaring. Perhaps fear of motherhood is inevitable in a generation more accustomed to comfort than any other throughout history, and conditioned to think that life should always be carefree.

These days, society presents material comfort as the ultimate goal, encourages us to satisfy our own desires and to cast off responsibility. Contemporary culture promises self-fulfilment through money, possessions, indulgent self-care rituals and excessive me time. Our technologies zap away the discomfort of boredom while online pop-psychology tells us to cut off anyone toxic' or anything problematic'. The message is that we should put our own comfort and freedom first, and anything getting in the way of that is a waste of time.

Are my generation happier as a result? Putting off milestones like marriage moving out and having children hasnt necessarily producedcontentment. They report feeling anxious, lonely and depressed in record numbers. Of course, some cant help delaying these things but financial pressures arent the only reason for delay, since those putting off kids tend to be middle-class graduates. In fact, according to a recent Pew survey, the top reason from those who dont plan to ever be parents was 'I just dont want to. Many of us, it seems, have simply been convinced we can sail through life without the meaningful anchors that previous generations grasped onto and now, unsurprisingly, we find ourselves adrift.

Im not saying everyone should have children. There's a myriad ofvalidreasons why many men and womenremain childless. But the trend for renouncing and disparaging motherhood because it interferes with living your best life or for fear of personal discomfort is a symptom of something more sinister: a society convinced that life should be fun and easy, all the time, to the point where we are beginning to show contempt for even the most natural of human instincts.

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What does Gen Z have against motherhood? - Spectator.co.uk

When I was 31, I didnt know what to do with myself.

I was married and I lived in a lovely home, but I also felt restless and unfulfilled. Id spent years building a career in HR that I wasnt sure I really wanted anymore.

RELATED: I Don't Want Kids: Don't Tell Me I'll Change My Mind

What you need is a baby, sniffed a family friend. This was the first comment in what was soon to be an ever-growing cacophony.

Id never have to worry about what to do with myself ever again, I was told because I could focus all my energy on a new little person instead.

People reasoned that it might actually be selfish not to have at leastonechild, because my husband and I had the means to care for it, and besides Id make such a lovely Mum (when plants are known to wither and die in my presence).

Casual acquaintances Id meet in the gym would explain just how much Id regret not having a mini-me around when I was old and I needed my bottom wiping. People Id only just met would ask me what on Earth I did all day, as though children are the only possible time-fillers for women over thirty.

Reader, I responded by getting divorced, turning forty, and ditching a dull-but-stable career for the financially insecure world of freelance writing.

Though I still get the occasional kid-related comment, most of them crumbled to dust in the face of that fearsome triumvirate: advanced age, broken marital status and unstable career. Plus, Id finally solved that niggling issue of not knowing what to do with myself.

RELATED: I Chose To Be Single And Childless Forever And I Don't Regret It

This could really be shaping up to be theand they all lived happily ever afterkind of ending we all love so much, right?

Wellit might have been, except Ive found that lots of people dont quite know what to do with women of my age who dont come with human cargo.

Its not all their fault, I suppose. When people ask if you have any children, anonever explains the whole story. Instead, its the beginning of a whole new one.

Is it anobecause you tried and failed, is it anobecause you didnt meet the right man and your eggs withered and died, is it anobecause you hate children (and have cultivated an evil cackle to match), or is it anobecause you just didnt fancy it?

Or is it actually none of the above?

Now you could say that the subject of children is a sensitive and potentially charged issue for many women, and therefore not really anyone elses business.

And although youd be absolutely right, that isnt a very practical thing to say, because peopledoask if you have kids all the time. The problem is that after youve reached a certain age, most of those people tend to expect an automaticyes.

RELATED: Why I'm Perfectly Happy Being The Child-Free 'Cool Aunt'

Instead, you throw thenocurveball, and the nice person youre talking to will look quickly down at the floor, out of the window, or into their drink, not quite knowing what to say next. Becauseyourea nice person (most of the time, anyway), you will try to make them feel better by hastily justifying your barren state.

This will usually lead on to something along the lines of:I do like children honest! Ive got loads of nieces/nephews/godchildren!(delete as applicable). Just in case perish the thought anyone got the impression that there might be something a bit wrong with you. Something a bit unnatural.

The words that have evolved to describe female barrenness dont exactly help matters.Childlessandchildfreeare supposed to determine whether you actually wanted to have a child and failed, or you made a choice not to have any.

Job done.

Really?

Be honest: what sort of person do you immediately picture when you hear the wordschildlessandchildfree? The first is probably a lonely woman crying in a bobbly cardigan; the second is a hedonist who drinks too much wine and spends lots of money on shoes. Both of them probably have at least one cat. One of them is cursed by her inability to have children; the other hates them instead, so both are probably best avoided in polite company.

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Ive long thought that the famous quote from Tolstoys Anna Karenina:happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,could be updated for the 21st century and applied to mothers and non-mothers.Mothers are all alike; every non-mother is a non-mother in her own way.

Just as men will typically bond over conversations about sports and gadgets, mothers will typically bond over school-run traffic, messy breakfasts, and prom preparation. There are dedicated business networking groups for women with children, all of them acknowledging how hard it is to be a working mum (never mind the fact that on some days its hard to be working whatever).

Could a business networking group specifically for non-mothers, with meetings deliberately held during the school run, even be allowed to exist? I doubt it.

But then I dont feel the need to join one. I dont want to spend all my time talking to people with whom I have just one biological factor in common. I want to talk to and learn from people of all ages, backgrounds, music preferences, political persuasions, and parental situations.

Childfree or childless, if youre a middle-aged woman who isnt a mother, youre living a life that isnt for the faint-hearted.

Your individual way of being will be hard for others to instantly define. You will have to endure alienation from your closest friends as they have their children and start drifting away.

People will look pityingly at you at parties and say stupid things like,Dont worry dear, theres still time!, orit must be great to have no responsibilities/so much time on your hands!(those are popular myths, I promise you).

Youwillbe judged, and youwillbe defined by your biological status, just as mothers are by theirs.

Its just that yours is a little bit more complicated.

And cheers to that.

NinaJervisis a UK-based author and freelance writer-for-hire. Hersecond book, Id Rather Get a Cat and Save the Planet: Conversations with Child-fFee Women was published in 2020.

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Originally posted here:

Beware The Curse Of The Middle-Aged Non-Mother - YourTango

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women whove decided to opt out of motherhood.

You will regret it! is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think theyll have such awful regrets? Because they often say theyll wind up lonely and sad when theyre older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older theyll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never feel complete unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless. Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: Whats lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but theyre in the minority. An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons theyve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a serious question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children. A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought theyd be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." IBeTrippin

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." BornaCrone

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." ProfessorOzone

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." joevilla1369

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." MaerakiStudioMe

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" Zublor

"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." Videoman7189

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." laudinum

"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" Hermits_Truth

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." fwubglubbel

"Im 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just dont much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And Im very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." GrowlKitty

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" EggOntheRun

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didnt want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid Id screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. Im a loner by nature though." Johnny-Virgil

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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision - Upworthy

Raised By Wolves Season 2 Updates: American sci-fi TV series Raised by Wolves is a post-apocalyptic drama that sets on a different planet Kepler-22b where two androids- Father and Mother are raising human children. The series premiered on September 3, 2020, on HBO and the second season arrived on February 3, 2022.

Created by Aaron Guzikowski, the TV Series involves a group of talented and brilliant cast members with six of them joining newly in the second season. Now let us see how the actors and actresses starring in the popular drama are in real lives.

Mother is the android built by an atheist scientist and sent to Kepler- 22b to raise the human community there with her partner Father, another android. At the end of season one, she gave birth to a mysterious serpent-like creature whom she wanted to destroy but ended up setting the childfree at the tropical zone of the planet.

The 35 years old Danish actress has been found starring in other Danish films like The Exception, The Horrible Woman. She has kept her personal life out of the spotlight, so much has not been disclosed about it. Collin is married and the mother of one daughter.

Paul is the son of real Marcus and Sue whose identities get stolen by Caleb and Mary to take over the Mithraic ship. Mother and Father kidnaps Paul with four other children from the Ark of Heaven. Paul carries a pet rat that Marcus gave him. Eventually, he as well begins to hear a voice that he believes to be Sols which tells him about the real identity of Sue. He suits her after that.

Felix is a young American actor of 14 years old who is known for performing in Game of Thrones, The Ghost.

Mother and Fathers only surviving son Campion is born from the embryos taken from Earth. Though the androids raise him as an atheist, he eventually gains faith and empathy. He has natural leadership qualities and grows up a friendship as well as rivalry with Paul.

The 17 years old Australian actor also starred in Doctor Doctor, an Australian TV Show.

Father was created alongside Mother to raise the human colony in Keplar-22. Father was once reprogrammed by the invading Mithraic. Mother and Father were sometimes seen to fight over their mission regarding the children.

The 29 years old British actor starred in Jamestown series. He is still unmarried and much is not known about his relationship status.

Hunter is the older son kidnapped by Mother and Father. He is a headstrong boy who believes his status to be higher than the rest because of his high-ranking Mithraic official father. Hunter is also very technically proficient and he is able to reprogram Father which eventually helps all the kids to escape Marcus and rejoin Mother.

This 23-year-old Afro-British actor has acted in the miniseries The Long Song and film Break.

Marcus is the later identity of Caleb who goes to the rescue mission of the human children kidnapped by Mother for the human community in Keplar-22.

Caleb and his wife Mary had an android perform surgery on faces and set off to rescue mission to the planet under the identity of Mithraic couple. Later he begins to hear voices that he assumes to be of the Mithraic God Sol which eventually maddens him.

Travis Flimmel is an Australian actor and a former model. He previously acted in Historys Vikings. This 42-year-old actor is presently unmarried.

Calebs wife Mary takes the identity of Sue, Pauls mother to take over the Mithtaic ship. She treats Paul as her own son. Once on Kepler-22b, she is confronted with the change of Marcus who now thinks of himself as the prophet of Sol. Sue eventually joins Mother, Father, and the human children. After having the real identity Sue revealed, Paul suits her.

The Irish actress previously appeared in Deceit and recently started in Guy Ritchies Wrath of Man. The 29 years old actress won IFTA Film and Drama Awards for acting in The Virtues. Algar is currently dating Lorne MacFadyen who is also an actor.

The other children kidnapped by Mother and Father are Tempest played by Jordan Loughran, Holly as Aasiya Shah, Vita as Ivy Wong.

Peter Christoffersen (Cleaver)- A leader of the atheists.

Jennifer Saayeng (Nerva)- A tough atheist woman.

James Harkness (Tamerlane)- An atheist soldier.

Selina Jones (Grandmother)- A god-like android built years ago.

Kim Engelbrecht (Decima)- A highly educated scientist and weapon developer of Earth who was formally atheist, but later begins to believe in Sol.

Morgan Santo (Ville)- Built to look and behave like her human counterpart, a child who committed suicide, Vrille is a humanoid android. She treats Decima as her mother.

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Raised By Wolves Season 2 Casts Real Life Partners and Age - Daily Research Plot