Forget Dr. Fauci -- we have the My Pillow Guy.
Donald Trump's daily Coronavirus briefings took their most bizarre turn yet on Monday when he invited the mustachioed TV pillow-hugger to the Rose Garden podium to address the nation about the killer virus.
"Boy do you sell those pillows," the POTUS said in his introduction of his "friend" and CEO Mike Lindell, who was very first to the stage.
In fairness, Lindell explained that his factory was switching production to face masks, no doubt a helpful development as health professionals struggle amid the shortage -- although everyone on Twitter was confused as to why he needed to tell the nation this in person.
Although nobody on Twitter managed to count the number of times Lindell said the words "My Pillow" -- many of the tweets concluded it was simply free advertising.
Lindell concluded his speech by asking if he could read something he wrote "off the cuff"; and it wasn't hard to see why the President allowed it.
"God gave us grace on September 8, 2016 to change the course we were on. God had been taken out of our schools and lives, a nation had turned its back on God. And I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families."
"Our president gave us hope where just a few short months ago we had the best economy, the lowest unemployment rate and wages going up - it was amazing. With our great President, Vice-President and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily, we will get through this and get back to a place that is stronger and safer than ever," the MyPillow guy decreed.
The speech ended as awkward as it began with Michael reaching out for a handshake, but being ignored because of course "we don't do that anymore."
Twitter predictably lit up:
Trump offers free advertising to the MyPillow guy, who proceeds to use his time at the Rose Garden to campaign for Trump. How is this acceptable? pic.twitter.com/vp8uj6LBTo
Haven't seen any actual doctors at this coronavirus briefing, but at least we've got the My Pillow Guy
Remind me again, why are networks airing this? pic.twitter.com/tbBCqkLprl
And now the My Pillow guy is urging us all to return to God and read our Bibles at home, as we realize how amazing Trump's glorious leadership has been, and no, I am absolutely not kidding, and my God, we are all going to die.
Two days ago, I tweeted this.
Right now, Trump has the My Pillow guy speaking in the Rose Garden. https://t.co/tGYtidILaM
The My Pillow guy is speaking at the Coronavirus task force meeting. Someone reset the simulation, please
My Pillow is now making highly absorbent pillows so you can cry yourself to sleep after watching this press conference.
Trump has the "MyPillow" fuckface up there rambling about a bunch of bullshit. Why are CNN and MSNBC airing this garbage? Putting this shit on television is treason.
Is that the my pillow guy??Do I need to turn the volume up. I was waiting for the doctors
I just had this crazy dream that the guy from My Pillow was at the White House telling me to read the Bible. Wow this quarantine life is really getting to me.
*turns on WH briefing*
What MyPillow has done...
*turns off WH briefing*
Trump just had the My Pillow guy speak.
The My Pillow Guy.
These aren't press conferences to calm the American people. They're infomercials for Trump and his friends.#StopAiringTrump
Is the my pillow guy having trouble breathing? Also why the hell is he up there?
Trump now has the guy from My Pillow doing a campaign commercial for Trump's 2020 campaign in the middle of a press conference about a deadly virus. How can any real news network air this BS?! #StopAiringTrump
Now its Honeywell, P&G & Jockeys turn to shill from the garden.
Did Tang sell 30 second spots based on his pandemic ratings?!
They are glorifying themselves for sewing masks and gowns?
Oops, Jockey lady just called Pence Mr. Vice by mistake. She right.
In a pandemic, the U.S. govt just turned the bully pulpit microphone over to epidemiology expert My Pillow Guy to lecture the nation about putting Jesus back in schools.
What a dystopian hellscape this is. #mypillow pic.twitter.com/ISzImxdKAA
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Twitter Utterly Confused as Trump Invites MyPillow Guy to Address the Nation on Coronavirus - TooFab
