Monthly Archives: September 2022

Russia-Ukraine war: medics killed by Russian strike during evacuation of hospital, says Kharkiv governor as it happened – The Guardian

Posted: September 20, 2022 at 8:26 am

Summary

It is 6pm in Kyiv. Here is everything you might have missed:

Four medics have been killed and two patients injured after Russian forces fired at a psychiatric hospital in the village of Strelechya, the governor of the Kharkiv region, Oleh Syniehubov, has said. The facility was in the process of being evacuated and medical staff were removing patients from the hospital while under heavy fire, Syniehubov said. He added on Telegram: During the evacuation, the Russians started a massive shelling. According to preliminary data, unfortunately, 4 medical workers died, 2 patients were injured.

Vladimir Putin is failing on all of his military strategic objectives, the chief of the defence staff has said. Adm Sir Tony Radakin said the conflict was likely to grind on for a long time, despite recent successes by Ukrainian military forces. Asked about the situation in Ukraine, he told the BBCs Sunday With Laura Kuenssberg programme: At the very outset, we said that this was a strategic error by President Putin and strategic errors lead to strategic consequences. And in this instance, its strategic failure. Putin is failing on all of his military strategic objectives. He wanted to subjugate Ukraine, thats not going to happen.

Russia has reacted to its military setbacks in the past week by increasing its missile attacks on civilian infrastructure even if they do not have any military impact, according to the latest intelligence report from the British Ministry of Defence. It says in a post on Twitter that the move is intended to destroy the morale of the Ukrainian people.

Russia and Ukraine have accused each other of provoking fighting in Kherson after a video showed clashes in the centre of the occupied Ukrainian city on Saturday evening. The Ukrainian army is leading a counter-offensive to retake the southern city, which was seized by the Russian army in the first weeks of the invasion. Russian official media Vesti-Crimea broadcast a video on Saturday evening showing an exchange of fire around two armoured vehicles near Kherson train station.

Prosecutors in an area of Ukraine where Russian forces recently retreated in the face of a Ukrainian counter-offensive are accusing Russia of torturing civilians in one freed village. Prosecutors in the Kharkiv region said, in an online statement, that they had found a basement where Russian forces allegedly tortured prisoners in the village of Kozacha Lopan, near the border with Russia, Associated Press reports. They released images showing a Russian military TA-57 telephone with additional wires and alligator clips attached to it. Ukrainian officials have accused Russian forces of using the Soviet-era radio telephones as a power source to electrocute prisoners during interrogation.

Beloved Russian singer Alla Pugacheva has posted a message on her Instagram account asking the countrys justice ministry to list her as a foreign agent alongside her husband, Maxim Galkin. The post called for an end to the deaths of our boys for illusory aims that make our country a pariah and weigh down the lives of its citizens. Pugachevas message comes a day after Galkin a comedian who has repeatedly spoken out against the war with Ukraine was designated a foreign agent by Russia for political activities. Russias ministry of justice says that his source of foreign funding is from Ukraine.

The US president, Joe Biden, urged his Russian counterpart, Vladimir Putin, not to use tactical nuclear or chemical weapons in the wake of setbacks in Ukraine. Asked by CBS what he would say to Putin if he was considering using such weapons, Biden said: Dont. Dont. Dont. It would change the face of war unlike anything since world war two. Biden said the US response would be consequential, but declined to give detail.

A total of 165 ships with 3.7 m tonnes of agricultural products onboard have left Ukraine under a deal brokered by the United Nations and Turkey to unblock Ukrainian sea ports, the Ukrainian infrastructure ministry has said. The ministry said 10 ships with 169,300 tonnes of agricultural products were due to leave Ukrainian Black Sea ports, reports Reuters.

Russias invasion of Ukraine and a global food crisis aggravated by the war will be the focus of world leaders when they convene at the United Nations in New York this week. It would be naive to think that we are close to the possibility of a peace deal, said the UN secretary general, Antnio Guterres, before the high-level meeting of the 193-member UN general assembly, which starts on Tuesday. The chances of a peace deal are minimal, at the present moment.

The Czech Republic, which currently holds the EU presidency, has called for a special international tribunal after a mass grave was discovered in Izium, a town in north-eastern Ukraine. In the 21st century, such attacks against the civilian population are unthinkable and abhorrent, said Jan Lipavsk, the foreign minister of the Czech Republic. Ukrainian officials have discovered more than 440 bodies, some found with their hands tied behind their backs.

Satellite imagery has emerged of the recently discovered mass grave site near Izium. The images, taken from March to August this year and released by Maxar Technologies, show the entrance to the forest cemetery where many bodies have been discovered.

One of the Russian-held Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plants four main power lines has been repaired and is supplying the plant with electricity from the Ukrainian grid two weeks after it went down, the UN nuclear watchdog has said. Even though the six reactors at Zaporizhzhia, Europes biggest nuclear power plant, have been shut down, the plant needs electricity to keep them cool.

The Indian prime minister, Narendra Modi, told Putin on Saturday that todays time is not a time for war when the pair met during a regional Asia summit in Uzbekistan. Putin told Modi he knew of Indias concerns about the conflict, echoing language he had used with the Chinese president, Xi Jinping, the day before. We will do our best to end this as soon as possible, Putin said, while accusing Kyiv of rejecting negotiations.

Speaking to reporters later, Putin vowed to continue his attack on Ukraine and warned that Moscow could ramp up its strikes on the countrys vital infrastructure if Ukrainian forces targeted facilities in Russia. Putin said the liberation of Ukraines entire eastern Donbas region remained Russias main military goal and that he saw no need to revise it. We arent in a rush, he said, after the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation meeting in Samarkand.

The Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdoan, told leaders at the summit that efforts were being made to finalise the conflict in Ukraine through diplomacy as soon as possible. Putin told Erdoan, who has been a key broker in limited deals between Russia and Ukraine, that Moscow was keen to build closer ties with Turkey and was ready to significantly increase all exports to the country.

The security service of Ukraine said Russias federal security service (FSU) officers tortured residents in Kupiansk, a city in Ukraines Kharkiv region. The Kyiv Independent reports that when FSU officers were in then occupied Kupiansk, they tortured residents and threatened to send them to minefields and kill their families.

Updated at 11.23EDT

Key events

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Its 11pm in Kyiv. Heres where things stand:

krainian forces are refusing to discard US-provided arms, with many reverse-engineering spare parts to continue the counteroffensive against Russias invasion. Theyre not willing to scrap it, one soldier said, recalling artillery with shrapnel damage and sometimes completely worn out from firing round after round against Russian troops, Reuters reports.

The Ukrainian military said that Russia has deployed Iranian attack drones, the New York Times reported on Sunday. According to a Ukrainian military official who spoke to the New York Times, remnants of the Shahed-136 attack drones have been discovered on the ground during the counteroffensive that Ukraine launched in the northeastern regions of the country this month.

The Ukrainian military has carried out 20 airstrikes in the last 24 hours against Russian strongholds, according to the General Staff of the Ukrainian Armed Forces. The Kyiv Independent reported on Sunday that Ukraines Air Force has successfully targeted 15 Russian strongholds and four sites, as well as seven control points.

Georgian president Salome Zourabichvili levied heavy criticism against Russia on Sunday after the discovery of mass graves in Izium earlier this week. Zourabichvili condemned in the strongest terms the atrocities committed by Russia in Izium, adding that these war crimes must be answered by justice, the Kyiv Independent reports.

The Canadian prime minister, Justin Trudeau, said on Sunday that the mass graves discovered in Ukraine was evidence of Russias war crimes in the country. Obviously the UK and Canada have been two of the strongest countries in standing up in support of Ukraine and pushing back against Russias illegal actions, Trudeau told reporters in London where he will be attending the funeral of Queen Elizabeth.

Ukrainian forces are refusing to discard US-provided arms, with many reverse-engineering spare parts to continue the counteroffensive against Russias invasion.

Reuters reports:

Some members of a roughly 50-member repair team showed reporters images of damaged U.S.-provided arms, including M777 howitzers, that in the West would have long been considered beyond the scope of repair.

Not in Ukraine.

Theyre not willing to scrap it, one soldier said, recalling artillery with shrapnel damage and sometimes completely worn out from firing round after round against Russian troops.

But Ukrainians are managing to bring these weapons back into battle, thanks to guidance from U.S. forces and manufacturing prowess by Kyiv allowing it to reverse-engineer spare parts.

Since the program began in June, more than a dozen teleconference channels have been set up with over 100 Ukrainian contacts.

But priority support is being given to the M777s and to the high mobility artillery rocket systems (HIMARS), which have been central to Ukraines counter-offensive nearly seven months since Russian forces invaded.

Combat power for Ukraine is staying at the level it is because of Americas investment in the sustainment, the soldier said.

The Ukrainian military said that Russia has deployed Iranian attack drones, the New York Times reported on Sunday.

According to a Ukrainian military official who spoke to the New York Times, remnants of the Shahed-136 attack drones have been discovered on the ground during the counteroffensive that Ukraine launched in the northeastern regions of the country this month.

The weapon is a kamikaze drone carrying a warhead of about 80 pounds that can be launched from the back of a flatbed truck, the New York Times explained.

According to Colonel Rodion Kulagin, the commander of artillery operations in the Kharkiv operations, the drone drops out from the sky without any warning.

It blew the triple-seven in half, he told the Times, referring to the drone destroying an M777 howitzer supplied by the US to the Ukrainian military. Instead of firing 100 artillery shells, its easier to release one of these drones to search for a target, he added.

The New York Times also reported Kulagin explaining that the drone is accurate enough to target a self-propelled howitzer in an area close to the turret where gunpowder stored. This in turn creates secondary explosions.

Its a very serious problem, he said, adding that without any countermeasures, the drones will destroy all our military.

Updated at 15.37EDT

The Ukrainian military has carried out 20 airstrikes in the last 24 hours against Russian strongholds, according to the General Staff of the Ukrainian Armed Forces.

The Kyiv Independent reported on Sunday that Ukraines Air Force has successfully targeted 15 Russian strongholds and four sites, as well as seven control points.

Georgian president Salome Zourabichvili levied heavy criticism against Russia on Sunday after the discovery of mass graves in Izium earlier this week.

Zourabichvili condemned in the strongest terms the atrocities committed by Russia in Izium, adding that these war crimes must be answered by justice, the Kyiv Independent reports.

The Canadian prime minister, Justin Trudeau, said on Sunday that the mass graves discovered in Ukraine was evidence of Russias war crimes in the country.

Obviously the UK and Canada have been two of the strongest countries in standing up in support of Ukraine and pushing back against Russias illegal actions, Trudeau told reporters in London where he will be attending the funeral of Queen Elizabeth.

Those actions increasingly, clearly include war crimes, include absolutely unacceptable crimes, whether we think of what we found in Bucha or the discovery of mass graves in the reclaimed territories by Ukraine, he added.

There needs to be a proper investigation and transparency and Vladimir Putin, his supporters and the Russian military need to be held to account for the atrocities they have and are continuing to commit in Ukraine.

Updated at 13.41EDT

The first lady of Ukraine, Olena Zelenska, paid her respects to the Queen lying in state at Westminster Hall on Sunday, before a reception with the Princess of Wales at Buckingham Palace.

Updated at 13.43EDT

The top US general has cautioned that it is still unclear how Russia might react to the latest battlefield setbacks in Ukraine, calling for vigilance among US troops during a visit to a military base in Poland aiding Ukraines war effort.

The war is not going too well for Russia right now. So its incumbent upon all of us to maintain high states of readiness, alert, US army general Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters in Warsaw following a visit to a base hosting US troops.

Reuters was asked not to publish the name of the base or describe its location.

Milley said he was not suggesting US troops in Europe were at any increased threat, but said they had to be ready.

In the conduct of war, you just dont know with a high degree of certainty what will happen next.

Policy research organisation the Institute for the Study of War has published data suggesting Ukrainian forces are expanding positions east of the Oskil River and north of the Siverskyi Donets River that could allow them to envelop Russian troops holding the city of Lyman.

They say: The Russian defenders in Lyman still appear to consist in large part of Bars (Russian Combat Army Reserve) reservists and the remnants of units badly damaged in the Kharkiv oblast counteroffensive, and the Russians do not appear to be directing reinforcements to this area.

Updated at 12.42EDT

Jack Watling, a senior research fellow for land warfare at the Royal United Services Institute, has written an analysis piece for the Guardian on Russias underperforming military capability, and why it could lead to its downfall.

Russias military was designed to fight short, high-intensity wars. Without full national mobilisation, it is too small, its units lack the logistical enablement and its equipment is ill-suited to a protracted war. When the Russian military issued orders to its troops in the autumn of 2021, it estimated a need for them to be deployed for nine months. They are now reaching that limit. The Ukrainians, by contrast, have been organising their military since 2014 for precisely this kind of war.

Updated at 12.11EDT

Our reporters Shaun Walker and Pjotr Sauer have spoken to Ukrainian teachers resisting occupation, who say there is no way they could work for the Russians.

We have neither a moral nor legal right to demand heroism from people living under occupation. Their main goals should be to save lives and not voluntarily collaborate, said Ukraines education ombudsman. Others want to see all who collaborated punished.

Updated at 12.33EDT

It is 6pm in Kyiv. Here is everything you might have missed:

Updated at 11.23EDT

Critical Threats and the Institute for the Study of War have created an interactive map that shows the progress Ukrainian military forces have made in taking back Russian-occupied territory.

Peter Pomerantsev is an author and senior visiting fellow at the London School of Economics and writes for us today to argue that Despite his defeats, Putin still shapes our perceptions. Lets fight him at his own game:

The Ukrainians have (again) done what nobody believed they could. They have (again) defeated the supposedly mighty Russia on the battlefield, shown up the underlying incompetence and moral rot of the Putin system.

It took them just six days to take back whole swaths of territory in north-eastern Ukraine that it took Russia six months to conquer. The Russian military, political and propaganda elites are all blaming each other: rifts that usually rumble under the surface are now visible to all. Putin looks shaken.

Now its time for us to act as well. Not just by increasing help to Ukraine on the battlefield (which is paramount), but also by advancing along the other fronts in this conflict: energy, information, finance and diplomacy.

Read more: Despite his defeats, Putin still shapes our perceptions. Lets fight him at his own game

Our colleague Luke Harding reports from Izium:

Standing in the gloom, Maksim Maksimov pointed to the spot where he was tortured with electric shocks. Russian soldiers took him from his cell in the basement of Iziums police station.

They sat him on an office chair and attached a zig-zag crocodile clip to his finger. It was connected by cable to an old-fashioned Soviet military field telephone.

And then it began. A soldier cranked the handle, turning it faster and faster. This sent an excruciating pulse through Maksimovs body.

I collapsed. They pulled me upright. There was a hood on my head. I couldnt see anything. My legs went numb. I was unable to hear in my left ear, he recalled. Then they did it again. I passed out. I came round 40 minutes later back in my cell.

Read more here: Izium: after Russian retreat, horrors of Russian occupation are revealed

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Russia-Ukraine war: medics killed by Russian strike during evacuation of hospital, says Kharkiv governor as it happened - The Guardian

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How Putin’s Invasion Of Ukraine Produced A Windfall For Enviva’s Wood Pellets Business – Forbes

Posted: at 8:26 am

On a crisp North Carolina morning, an eastern pine forest is being clear cut in a precisely choreographed hydraulic ballet. Pincers grab 500-pound, 30-foot tree trunks, run them through trimmers and auto-cutters and then stack the nearly uniform logs onto flatbed trucks which take them to mills to be cut into construction boards. Grappling claws scoop up the remains of the harvestbranches, limbs and scrapsand drop them into open-topped dump trucks headed for one of 10 plants run by Enviva, to be chopped, dried, pulverized and pressed into two-inch wood pellets.

Jamel Toppin for Forbes

You could burn those pellets in your backyard grillif you could buy them, which you cant. Were already sold out, boasts John Keppler, Envivas cofounder and CEO. Earlier this year, the Bethesda, Maryland-based company locked in take-or-pay contracts to sell German and other European customers millions of tons of pellets over the next 15 years at upwards of $250 a ton, a record price that now yields gross margins of $43 a ton, up 14% over last year. The pellets fuel plants that might have previously relied on Russian coal or natural gas. In Europe, natural gas prices have jumped ten-fold in two years to the equivalent of $60 per thousand cubic feet (versus $8.25/mcf in America). Theres never been a better time to be in the pellet business, Keppler says.

While Vladimir Putins invasion of Ukraine has produced a windfall for Enviva, its no overnight success. Keppler, 50, has spent 15 years building it into the worlds largest producer of industrial grade pellets, with $1 billion in annual sales and a current stock market cap of $4.65 billion. The company still runs a net loss after depreciation and interest but expects EBITDA to more than double this year to $250 million. Keppler is aiming to build ten more plants over the next five years, doubling current annual output of 6.2 million tons of pellets. Every ton we produce is a ton of coal that stays in the ground, he says.

Many environmentalists doubt thats a good tradeoff. In fact, burning wood pellets emits more carbon dioxide for the same amount of energy than does coal. The pellets are considered green only because biomass is renewable. The catch? It takes decades for newly planted trees to sequester the carbon dioxide released by burning their predecessors. The best strategy to lower atmospheric CO2 levels is to preserve and expand forests, rather than destroy them and use trees as fuel, says climate change expert Robert Musil, CEO of the Rachel Carson Council.

Theres never been a better time to be in the pellet business.

The European Union Parliament, concerned by the loss of old growth forests amid rampant growth in pellet combustion, voted in September to reduce pellet subsidies and phase down the portion of wood-based fuel counted as renewable. While competing for a bigger piece of a potentially smaller pie in Europe, in America, Enviva is enthused by the new Inflation Reduction Act, which includes tax credits for burning pellets for electricity.

Keppler insists that Enviva never turns whole trees into pelletsexcept those knocked down by hurricanes. Instead, it buys scraps that used to get pulped into newsprint for now dead or shrunken newspapers. Enviva says it only works with landowners who replant treesnot those clearing land for development. If it doesnt go back to forest, we wont buy it, declares Lauren Killian, a 32-year-old sustainability forester at Enviva.

Keppler first became fascinated by renewable resources at 30. His career had been largely on hold for six years as he beat stage 4 Hodgkins lymphoma and he was recharging with an MBA at the University of Virginia. As a class project, he and a couple of B-school pals worked up a business plan for a rice milling plant that wanted to power its operations by burning high-silica husks of rice kernels in a specialized gasifier. After working a few years at other jobs (Keppler at AOL), they decided to give gasifier plants a go. After building plants in the Dominican Republic and Alabama, Keppler and Enviva President Thomas Meth branched into another variety of biomassa project to enable a Belgian lumber mill to power its main operations by pressing sawdust into pellets.

Then came their Eureka moment: instead of doing one-off projects, they could build a whole pellet business based around more than 50 million acres of pine forests stretching from Virginia through the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi.

Jamel Toppin for Forbes

But they needed more capital. In 2010, Keppler and Meth turned to private equity shop Riverstone Holdings, which specializes in energy. With the new money, they bought a small pellet-making plant in Amory, Mississippi, which was already selling its output to Europe. They got it running 24/7, and tripled production. They sold and spun off those early gasification plant assets to focus on pellets. They tapped higher-risk capital (from investors like Jeffrey Ubben of Inclusive Capital) to finance new pellet plants and launched a master limited partnership to buy the plants once they were built.

Enviva became a publicly traded MLP in 2015 and this year converted to a traditional corporation in a bid to market itself as a pure environmental play for ESG investors. Riverstone and its investment funds still own 42% of the stock, which now trades at just under $70 and pays a generous dividend of $3.62 a share.

One lesson Keppler says he learned from Riverstone: dont turn a spade of dirt for a new plant until its output is fully contracted. He sees no problem inking enough orders to sell the output of the ten more mills he wants to build or finding a spot for each plant where theres already enough tree harvesting going on within 75 miles to keep it in wood scraps. Were symbiotic to that (harvesting) activity, were not driving any of it, he says.

Competitors are catching on. Last year, private equity giant Apollo Global invested in Estonian pellet maker Granuul (Europes biggest), which has acquired a handful of plants in the east Texas pine forests. Keppler says that with zero excess liquidity in world pellet supply, he welcomes new competition as affirmation that the business has a future. This is a monopsony, he says. Theres thousands of sellers (of wood scrap), very few buyers. For now.

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15 Awesome Reasons To Be Childfree By Choice – Bonobology.com

Posted: at 8:25 am

Disclaimer: This is not to provoke the parents who are doing an excellent job at raising healthy children. Having children or going childfree is entirely a couples personal decision.

Different couples have different reasons to be childfree. Nowadays, the concept of Double Income No Kids (DINKS) is on the rise. Whatever the reason to not have kids, being childfree by choice is working well for many, including celebrity couples. There are many childless celebrities who have been very clear about why they opted out of parenthood. Oprah Winfrey and her long-standing partner never had plans to raise a child of their own. Likewise, Jennifer Aniston too clearly stated that she is not in pursuit of motherhood and that she doesnt like the unwanted pressure put on women to procreate.

To get more clarity on the matter and understand the advantages of being childfree better, we spoke to psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (PhD, PGDTA), who specializes in relationship counseling and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. He spoke to us about the benefits of not having kids and the reasons that several couples choose to go childfree.

The torture of baby indecision often cripples couples. This indecision strikes not just with the first child but with the possibility of the birth of every subsequent child. It strikes the ones who want to be parents as well as the ones who dont. A glance through a community blog posting at a pregnancy and parenthood website shows how common, varied, yet universal this indecisiveness is when it comes to having a baby. Following are a few such quotes from real but anonymous posters on the blog:

Do you see how normal and common it is to be filled with dilemmas such as, Having a child was a mistake,, I wish I could have another one but will I be able to cope with that stress?, and I love kids but they are so expensive. It is equally normal to decide not to have a child and still often wonder, Will I regret not having children? The answer to which is, Maybe you will. But is that reason enough to have a child? What if you regret having a child? Wouldnt that be terrible?

Parental Indecision Therapy is a real thing and if you too feel crippled by this indecision, you could consider consulting an experienced counselor. Should you need it, experienced and skilled counselors on Bonobologys panel can help you deal with this indecisiveness by getting to its root. Meanwhile, read ahead to look at some awesome benefits of not having kids.

Related Reading: What Is It Like For A Married Couple Not To Have Kids?

Dr. Bhonsle says, Having a child depends on the couples professional, personal, and social goals as individuals as well as a team. It depends on the kind of lifestyle you want to build for yourself and your partner. For the older generations, having a child was the ultimate shared project that would help them reconcile their personality differences and cultures. Times have changed now.

Earlier, being childfree meant being childless, where a couple could not have children, though they wanted to. But conservative values often dont let us recognize this shift and the idea stays controversial. From prioritizing your career to wanting to travel the world and having limited financial resources, there can be different reasons not to have kids. If a couple remains childfree by choice,it doesnt mean that life is dull or directionless for them. Couples that opt out of parenthood value their partnership and other aspects of life more than raising kids. Thats all.

So, dont let your snarky neighbor or nosy relatives make you feel guilty about a choice that makes you happy. There are several benefits of not having a kid and the family life is not for everyone. We list here the top 15 reasons or advantages of being childfree:

Based on Consumer Expenditure Survey, the USDA issued a report in 2015, Cost of Raising A Child, according to which the cost of raising a child up to the age of 17 is $233,610 (this amount does not include tuition fees). Add to it college fund, future wedding expenses, other entertainment, and miscellaneous expenditure, you will always be worried about educational loans, lifestyle expenses, and securing your childs future.

Dr. Bhonsle explains, If a couple is not financially settled or is struggling professionally, then having a child might not be a good idea. Some couples prefer a free and easy life where they dont have to deal with the hassles of school admissions, babysitters, extracurriculars, and more all of which are additional expenses. Couples who do not want to complicate things further by spending that kind of money on a new member may choose to be childfree by choice.

Dr. Bhonsle says, While there are countries that pay their citizens to have children, we cannot deny the fact that environmental concerns and climate change are valid reasons to not have kids. If a couple believes that one of the many causes of problems in the world is its population, then you may want to do your duty and not have a child.

Climate change is not a hypothesis anymore.Glaciers are melting. Heatwaves and floods are an everyday occurrence. Not to forget, the recurring viral pandemics! There could be more on its way for the younger generations to suffer through. Arent these warnings enough? Arent these legitimate reasons not to have kids? Your desire to give the family life a chance, may make you more selfish than you think you are. Give the childfree family a chance instead. Do your bit for the planet, considering human kids leave a big carbon footprint.

World hunger is at its peak. The population is on the rise. While population explosion is a real issue, a precipitating factor to most problems in our world, you, as a childfree person, can rest assured that you are not contributing to this chaos. A casual browse through Childfree Reddit subsidiary threads will reveal that this is one of the most common reasons to not have kids cited by people who are childfree by choice.

Adoption is one way to address the urge for parenthood without adding to the population problem. If you have been struggling with the Will I regret not having children dilemma, but suffer from incessant guilt, adoption could be your answer. The joys of parenthood shouldnt diminish with the lack of biological children.

Related Reading: 7 Ways To Get The Romance Back After Having A Baby

Statistics on childfree couples by the Open University in England claimed that couples without children were happier in their relationships as compared to those with children. Another study claimed that the number of childbirths in the United States has been on the decline consistently over the past few decades.

Again a glance through the childfree subreddit, r/childfree, shows how people claim to be happier with more freedom of choice, disposable income, and fewer things to worry about that come with the choice of not having children. An anonymous Reddit user says, The older (50+) childfree couples I know seem way happier compared to parents the same age. Pretty sure it has a lot to do with less stress in general and more disposable income.

Dr. Bhonsle says, If a couple is required to travel due to the nature of their work or they are just passionate about trekking and backpacking, then having a child may not be the kind of anchoring they need. They probably just want to be footloose, free, and easy, and wander the world.

One of the benefits of not having kids is that you can always be on the go without having to worry about making arrangements for the little one. Travel for two only! If someone makes you feel otherwise, politely ask them to mind their own business. Moreover, without the added expense of raising a child, you have more resources to make impromptu plans. Thats amazing, isnt it?

The packing list is endless when youre traveling with a child. Even a simple visit to a friends place can be preceded by an hour of prep and packing. You have to make sure to not forget even the smallest of things or everything goes for a toss. But, without a child, you can just lock your homeand leave!

Dr. Bhonsle adds, If a couple would much rather want to be around friends, go backpacking, attend music festivals, and just trance their way through their youth instead of changing diapers, worrying about school admissions, and attending parent-teacher meetings, then they might not want to bring a new life into this world. Later, if they feel like theyre ready, they might go for surrogacy or adoption instead of giving birth to a child. The experience of parenthood is not limited to having biological children, after all.

Certain stats on childfree couples reveal that there are health benefits of not having kids. A study shows each pregnancy and childbirth accelerated cellular aging in women by two years. Another study, spanning 116 years, by the American Journal of Human Biology, found that those without a child lived longer than those who chose to have a child. The study also claimed that women who dont have children do well in terms of education and income factors linked to improved overall health and well-being.

Child rearing is one of the most obvious causes of sleep deprivation in adults, with links to mental health issues and accelerated aging. But consider this: No diaper change at 2:30 every night for two years straight. No pushing your partner to clean up the bed sheet because little Ricky had an accident. No worrying about feeding the baby every couple of hours. You can even fall asleep on the couch while binge-watching your favorite series. The benefits of good sleep for long-term health are no secret.

Related Reading: Domestic Partnership vs Marriage: Difference & Benefits

The sharp edges of the tables contrast the winding stairs in your house and you love it. It might not be safe for kids but you like the feel and the vibe of your house and dont want to change anything about it. You dont want to worry about your kid falling down. The Santangelo Altar bowl can be put at the dining table with no fear of a kid breaking it.

You can redecorate your home any way you please. Your curtains will be paint-free, your walls too. No spilled milk, no toys lying around. You can choose to have nice things in the house without thinking about having to baby-proof the place.

Your instincts are right, just not apt for handling a baby. Without any distractions, you will be able to focus on your work, especially if you are working from home. If, for you, a holistic work-life balance is more important, then taking care of a baby 247 may not fit in well into the kind of life you envisage for yourself. And that is a reason as legitimate as any to be childfree by choice. Your instincts shine through when totally channeled into handling a work crisis rather than keeping an eye on your child in the crib.

Sometimes, couples have babies in order to fix a marriage. Couples who drive each other nuts, almost always feel the obligation to stay together for the sake of dependent children. But that is hardly ethical or effective. Its a silly, unrealistic expectation that you set for yourself and your partner. Having a child to fix an unhappy marriage is not just wrong but also a risky solution.

You dont need an innocent baby thrown in the mix, especially when you and your partner are not on the same page. Its ideal to communicate and resolve conflict in a marriage rather than placing the burden of your marital issues on an innocent child who has neither the capacity nor the obligation to deal with them. Without a kid in the picture, you and your partner can rest assured you are together because you have truly developed a strong relationship.

A. Children are not a reliable old-age plan. B. Children should not be treated as an old age plan. If people tell you that you need children because they will take care of you when youre old, ask them, do you really want your child to give up their life and career to take care of you? Is that why you gave birth to them? Wouldnt you want your child to lead a happy life?

Besides, a lot of people with kids have faced the need to turn to assisted living facilities despite having children. Jenni, who doesnt have any childfree regret, says, I would have never wanted to impose myself on my children. I have my partner and my forever group of friends who will get old with me. They are my family, this is my family life. And I happily intend to be childfree by choice.

Related Reading: 5 Ways Our Married Life Changed After A Baby

There are plenty of reasons not to have kids and avoiding bringing a baby into this sad world is one of them. Look at the increase in crime, hatred, and polarization in todays world. With children, you will spend half of your sleeping hours thinking if they have reached home safely or not. Being harassed online or cyber-bullying is another worry most parents have to deal with today. When you dont have a child, you can eliminate this constant stress and anxiety about their well-being from your life .

Anyone with children knows that they can suck the living lights out of you. They can drive you up the wall and make you want to tear your hair out. They yell, they cry, they demand constant attention. They need constant care and support, and need you to be together and sorted even if youre bubbling with frustration. They are a LOT of work, and without them, it would be a lot easier for you to find peace and quiet.

This is definitely one of the best advantages of being childfree. No crying baby to ruin your orgasm. Parents, when was the last time you had a sexy time, uninterrupted? I mean, imagine you and your partner making love and your child walks in! Awkward, right? One of the reasons to not have kids is because they could potentially hinder your married life by not allowing you to enjoy intimacy.

Remember, with children comes big responsibility. If its not your cup of tea, accept it, and capitalize on the many benefits of not having kids and focus on finding your true calling in life. There are plenty of people in this world who think having a child was a mistake but would never admit it.

This is not to judge the choices of people who want children and are in love with the prospect of being parents. But that should be the sole reason to procreate wanting to have kids knowing that youre going to be amazing, non-judgmental parents who continue to unlearn their own biases. Any other reason be it societal pressure, ticking biological clock, or your grandmother asking for a great-grandchild to spoil is just not good enough and should not matter.

Several studies have claimed that childfree couples are happier in their relationships. They tend to have more fulfilling marriages and feel more valued by their partner. Having said that, theres no rulebook for happiness. Having a child or not is a personal choice. If parenthood makes you happy and feel more satisfied, then go ahead.

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Original post:

15 Awesome Reasons To Be Childfree By Choice - Bonobology.com

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Verena Brunschweigers Do Childfree People Have Better Sex? Is A Lot …

Posted: at 8:25 am

The Queen finally croaked so we have one less mouth to feed on a planet that cant support us anymore. We have a long way to go. Dont fear! There is a woman with a solution to the madness but she cannot do it alone.

Dr. Verena Brunschweiger was kind enough to talk to me about her new book a few months back and for no good reason, Im just writing about it now. Since that time the topic has only gotten more relevant. Her book is called: Do Childfree People Have Better Sex?

Few if any have been as brave as Verena in openly advocating for a child-free life, not just as a sacrifice, but as a practical, pleasurable decision. Calling for such a life is a sacrifice but actually following through on it not so much.

Verena herself has faced rape threats and harassment for being one of the most public anti-natalists. Shes a teacher who they dont want teaching. That wont stop her from educating the public and fighting for her right to teach in person as well. The threats to her life for choosing a life without children proves that the pro-life movement isnt pro-life, just anti-woman and anti-freedom.

The drive for endless growth of the economy and population is the real death drive of our society. Violence at the point of reproduction itself is essential for societys endless supposed progress.

Anti-natalism, as Verena points out, is a victimless crime but is more subversive than anything else we do, or dont do. The question of freedom exists not only for us but for those we bring into the world against their will. We obviously care about womens freedom to make decisions about their health. Even in the fascist USA such a basic idea is enough to resuscitate the fossil known as the Democratic Party.

However, the freedom to not have children is deeper than that. How much freedom will any of us have when there arent enough basic resources to go around? Im not a cynic here. Heroic war correspondent Chris Hedges describes what happens in countries where this is the case. He sees kindness that moves him deeply, more kindness than in the West. Kindness with stakes where people risk it all to help one another. But what is the basic relation of such a society? War over food and water. Plain and simple. Even Kamala Harris admitted that the new wars will be over water, not oil.

In such a society who is free? We can choose how to die or who to kill. Thats it. Not very free and not very human, if were arrogant enough to believe we are doing something different.

But Im losing the point here. What is the title of this book? Do Childfree People Have Better Sex? The point is to have better sex! If youre horny thats good. Dont let it guilt you into having kids unless we really havent progressed at all.

Lets get to it. What happens when we conform to childbearing? We become bored, busy and tired. Maybe we get our own little person to fuck up with our garbage ideas but thats not a lot of power is it? Life becomes more structured and we become less radical. Even sex becomes a routine. I wont spoil it but this is the funniest part of the book!

Unfortunately, we are going backward on this issue. Verena doesnt shy away from the modern right and how our conceptions of motherhood and fascism are linked through the state and corporations. One may be appalled to think that they are fascist for wanting to be a mother. But this isnt the point. The fact that they want you to be a mother is the creepy part. And it wont necessarily make you happy! Fulfilling social norms provide temporary relief but when you bring a person into the world this becomes a trap you cant escape and you may resent.

So examine what you really want. Think freely and critically. For that simple notion many try to cancel Verena! Wheres Matt Taibbi when you need him? Mar-A-Lago Matt is the same place where your future kids should be: missing in action!

Verena looks at all aspects of society: intellectual society, social society, production and exploitation in capitalist society. How has the propaganda that we need to keep growing and reproducing led us to neglect what we actually want to do? We may have to sell our labor to a capitalist who destroys the future of our earth to reproduce the food we need to live but when we clock out we dont need to sell our body to the ideas society tells us. Do you really want to have sex to please the strangers around you who want you to have kids? Or do you want your sex to be privately shared among the 2, 3, 20, or 30 people who are actually in the room doing it?

The same goes for the stuff we buy. Women dont need to change their bodies to please men Verena contends. This is why the powers that be dont want Verena teaching their kids. They sound like splendid parents!

This book is full of scientific studies, stories about teaching kids and insights into philosophy and ecology. Hear from the famous anti-natalist fighting cancellation and society marching towards death in the name of life.

Dont take it from me. Read the book yourself and find out how much people love to hate a truth-teller like Dr. Brunschweiger. The solution to our climate catastrophe wont be reducing your carbon footprint (you likely cant afford it). Nor will it be a world revolution (most of us wont have water soon even if we become socialist). The solution actually is much simpler. Stop having babies because the world is over. Period.

So buy this book and spread the good news! Trust me its a lot cheaper than having children. The world is ending. The least you could do is enjoy it. For your pleasure.

r/childfree – "…and most importantly, a mom." -NASA astronaut …

Posted: at 8:25 am

This is how the retired NASA astronaut Nicole Stott chose to introduce herself on the Infinite Monkey Cage, a science-focussed podcast:

"Hi, everyone, I'm Nicole Stott, a retired NASA astronaut, though hopeful to fly in space again someday. An aquanaut, artist, now author, and most importantly, a mom."

Like, I get that it's vital to demonstrate that women can be astronauts and mothers and that being a mother shouldn't limit women in STEM, but excuse me if I rank being a friggin' astronaut higher than popping out some kids!

And obviously, the whole point of feminism is having the right to choose one's own path, be that a SAHM, childfree, or anything else, but to me, something feels a bit regressive about highlighting her motherhood above all else.

Do male astronauts highlight their fatherhood as their crowning achievement, above space flight?

I don't know, I'm just spit-balling, here, and I haven't worked out whether I have some internalised misogyny going on, or why exactly Stott's self-description irked me. I just had a very visceral reaction to "...and most importantly, a mom" coming from her in that setting.

What are your thoughts?

r/childfree - "...and most importantly, a mom." -NASA astronaut ...

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50 Parents Get Raw And Honest About What They Regret About Having Kids – Bored Panda

Posted: at 8:25 am

My daughter is severely disabled, to the point where she will never live a normal life. She cant walk or talk, has a feeding tube and a wheelchair, is legally blind (she can see lights/shapes/colors, but thats it) and has seizures from an unknown cause, and shes 6. Id say her mental development isnt much more than a few months/to a year old at most. If Id known that she would be born this way (she starting having seizures at 3 weeks old) I would have had an abortion the moment I found out I was pregnant. She was planned and wanted, and I regret her every day. Not that she isnt a beautiful person, shes got so much spunk and personality and shes got my attitude, but I dont think for a second that she deserves to live the life thats been laid out for her. I wish I could do more for her.

Kitteneater1996 , Ron Lach Report

To provide you with an alternative point of view, we contacted Talya Stone, a former public relations specialist turned blogger and the woman behind online journalsMotherhood: The Real Dealand40 Now What bold and authentic, Stone consistently tackles difficult subjects and, among other topics, has produced plenty of insightful texts on parenting.

"I think it's important to know that couples can make it through the hard times without kids first," Stone told Bored Panda. "So make sacrifices, endure some hard stuff, throw yourself in pressure cooker situations, take on responsibilities you would rather not. This is what all the hard stuff of parenting is about. Having a dog and having to pick up their poo, get up at silly hours to walk them even when you are shattered, and not being able to do a whole bunch of stuff because you decided to have a fur baby is good prep for having a real baby or child!"

"Also, spend time with people with babies and toddlers. Lots of it. You'll see what life on the frontline of being a parent is really like rather than the make-believe stuff in the movies," Stone added.

Some days it's hard not to regret it. I have a 6 year old with severe ADHD (brain trauma at birth), and an autistic 4 year old still in diapers. My wife is active military and I had to leave a very lucrative job to take care of them. I love them, but occasionally I have to chant that to remind myself that I do.

Veloreyn , Garon Piceli Report

That being said, Stone believes that everyone has doubts about being a parent. "You worry if you will be a good one, or know what you are doing," she said.

"Nobody knows what they are doing and there is no handbook! Doubts are totally normal. But you need to tune into yourself. What are your doubts really about? Are they just a story you've created around yourself and your capabilities, or something deeper? Also, if you have doubts because of perhaps stuff that you are carrying around from your past, now is a good time to work through all of that in therapy. And most importantly, be honest with yourself."

All you need is a special needs kid to think something along the lines of "I wouldn't want him to die or anything, but if I could go back to before he was conceived I'd do things differently."

meoka2368 , Athena Report

Contrary to what many expected, birth rates in the United Statesdropped during the COVID-19 pandemicamid the twin public health and economic crises, lending evidence to predictions from early on in the outbreak that economic uncertainty might trigger a baby bust.

This continued the downward trend in U.S. fertility rates, which were already at arecord lowbefore the pandemic began.

Because kids aren't the life completer we believe they are. Actually they take away from your quality of life daily. My kids are 13 and 11 and they STILL mess up my daily life. Worst of all is I love them so much I couldn't do without them even though they disturb my peace all the time. I do not reccomend having children. Maybe one but not necessary. We perpetuate the species needlessly.

Uniqueusername121 , Liza Summer Report

A 2021 Pew Research Center survey discovered that a rising share of U.S. adults who are not already parents say they are unlikely to ever have children, and their reasons range from just not wanting to have kids to concerns about climate change and the environment.

Some 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49 say it is not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday, an increase of 7 percentage points from the 37% who said the same in a 2018 survey.

I feel like it has destroyed my marriage. Both of us have changed since our child was born and I'm afraid the people we've become are not as compatible as the people we used to be. We never talk to each other, we never do anything together, and the very, very infrequent sex is basically her attempt to maintain her ability to claim she makes an effort in our relationship. Any communication that happens between us is about logistics regarding our child. I understand there is a brief period after birth where everyone needs to adjust but it has been over 4 years now.

I love my child more than anyone else on Earth, same for my wife. But I miss having a companion in life. If I had known it would be like this, I don't think I would have made the same decisions.

LoveMyKidMissMyWife , Alex Green Report

However, parents and childfree people often view each other as enemies and get into heated arguments that can be easily avoided.

Talya Stone believes that both groups should have more empathy.

"Before I had children, I had no idea why someone wouldn't want a child. Then I had a child, had all my freedoms whipped from underneath me, and I got it," she said. "There are a lot of reasons people choose not to have children these days, and they should all be respected and never questioned."

"Likewise, childfree people need to respect someone's choice to want to become a parent. There should be no judgment from either side. The best strategy is to inwardly agree that you get it, but it's not for you... no rubbing anyone's faces in it!" she added.

Losing so much of yourself, your partner, and your freedom is what's worst in the beginning, but as my children get older, I'm realizing how fatherhood has revealed the worst parts of my character. Petty, angry, short-tempered, remote...I don't recognize the person I have become; I'm afraid I've been unequal to the task of parenthood, and in the process it turned me into less of a person.

eyesopenarmscrossed , Pixabay Report

When my kids were young, Columbine happened. I realized that I had brought kids into a terrible world. I regretted it for a long time. Then they had heartbreak from young love, and I regretted it again. I hated that me wanting kids of my own caused those kids to hurt in a way I couldn't protect them from. But they've grown up to be happy, healthy independent adults and I'm very proud of who they have become.

lcotemi , Ronny Sison Report

My life turned into a living hell when my oldest son was a teenager.He started using drugs at 14, he was arrested for breaking into cars at around the same age. Things continued to escalate and we had no control of him, we tried everything. He continued to use drugs, he sold drugs. The state of Florida has a law that the parents are responsible for the minor until the age of 18. He could not be emancipated because he was not financially independent and we couldn't afford to support him outside of our home. So we were forced to keep him in our home. It was 4 years of living hell, I had 2 breakdowns and our marriage was torn apart. He was a good kid until age 14, smart in school, and neither my husband nor I used drugs. There's no guarantee how your kid will turn out.

itsmejuli , Luis Fernando Aguilar Lopez Report

It fills me with fear and worry about their future. It's like having your heart outside of your body. I don't want to live but I have to for their sake, and I know there's so much out there I can't protect them from.

MarkHirsbrunner , Benjamin Manley Report

I can't say I "regret" having had kids, but I often think my life would be better had I not. Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances, but it's a roll of the dice. If you have a child with medical or developmental problems it is a tremendous drain. I feel like I've aged about 20 years in the last 5, like I'm just a ghost of my former self.

level 1 Noctudeit , Guillermo Velarde Report

I wasn't ready to stop being selfish. I'm only two years in so it's still the intense stage, but parenting so far has just been relentlessly exhausting. I feel like having a kid closed off a lot of possibilities for me, definitely [took out] any semblance of spontaneity in my life.

camelican , Marcus Aurelius Report

I love both my sons but if I could do it all again I wouldn't. I got pregnant young and did not know that I would pass my bipolar onto them. They both suffer from really bad depression. Trying to raise them when I was in and out of hospitals was hard and did them a disservice. Now they are grown and they rarely make time for me. Mother's Day and my birthday is a quick text or mention on Facebook. My youngest tells me I'm the only family member that accepts him when he has mental issues but that's the only time I ever hear from him. The oldest is even worse. I cry on a regular basis that I wish they would be closer to me. Long story short I did my best but it didn't matter.

tammage , Liza Summer Report

I love my children more than anything else in this world. Words can not describe the type of love I feel for them. But at the same time, I do regret having them. I regret being the person that I have become as a parent. I was always carefree and spur of the moment.. now I'm careful and if plans aren't set in stone, they likely won't happen.

I always said I would never have children. I hate kids..I do. I am just not that type of nurturing person. I was always very careful to make sure protection was in use (condoms, birth control) but I am that .1% and apparently very fertile.

I do not have that natural motherly instinct that all women seem to have, you know..that one that kicks in the moment they know they're pregnant. I have to work really hard at it and it's exhausting. I miss my solitude and being able to "check out" of reality from time to time.

With all that being said, there is not a thing I wouldn't do for my children. They will always be my babies. They are amazing little creatures. My boys play travel baseball and I wouldn't trade long nights at the ball fields for anything. Watching them play is one of the greatest joys in my life. Still, I often find myself wondering what life would be like without them.

vixiecat , Vasily Nemchinov Report

I can pretty much echo everyone else's responses. It's even harder when you're a strong introvert. It's driven me into on again/off again depression. I've been on medication since our first one was born. The 2nd one was a stupid mistake (plan B also didn't work). I've since got a vasectomy, although I should've gotten one after the 1st was born. Stuck with an infant and a toddler now. I'm also a father who stays at home, so that comes with its own societal b******t. I've been shopping at Target with my kid by myself and gotten comments like "It's just weird seeing a dad doing the shopping." Go f**k yourself.

anon , Amina Filkins Report

I didn't realize that a maternal instinct is not universal. You know how you see parents in the delivery room and they are crying tears of joy? I felt nothing. Honestly, I could have left them at the hospital and it wouldn't have bothered me. I usually have no desire to spend time with them at all. I love them and have a strong sense of duty I just don't enjoy them or want to do any of the things they do. However I spent their whole lives going out of my way to care for them in every way a good mother should. My boys are well cared for and I am always here for them, but it feels very unnatural and fake and unenjoyable. It is a bit like a retail job you don't like where you put on a fake persona and slog through it the best you can. I don't get to leave this job, though. The worst is how I'm demonized for it. I've done eveverything I can for them for 16 years including all the extra curriculars (kids baseball is agonizing to fake enjoy I swear) and it has never been easy. Shouldn't I get more credit than those moms who love nothing more than spending time with their kids? That doesn't sound hard to me. Nope..I fail because I want my own life.

Alien_Nicole , Natalie Report

Destroyed marriage via:

* Forget passionate love make (it becomes a chore) when kids start walking* The things you did together, you can no longer do, together, or very rarely* The things you enjoyed individually, can not be replicated either* Forget unwind time, personal space, etc...* Over years people change, and nothing accelerates change as having another depend being (or three).

That's for the marriage bit.

Then there's work/life balance which goes out the f*****g door. The stress at work, and the increasing stress of job market, you do not have the luxury of coming come to dissipate. What happens is that you come home after a nasty, stressful day, and the stress is COMPOUNDEDwith home/kids problems. Have that for years...

I love my kids, I'd STILL have them, but there are sacrifices people are not prepared for. I've seen marriages destroyed, homes destroyed, I've seen mental breakdowns, drugs usage, etc...

ethics , Andrew Nee Report

Although I've always loved being around kids (I was the guy playing with all the kids at any party) and they seemed to take to me, I knew I never wanted to have any of my own. Fortunately, my wife felt similarly... until she neared 40, and then went kind of crazy with this newfound unquenchable desire for motherhood. We had trouble getting pregnant at that age, and rounds of IVF ensued; following several, one was successful, after huge time, financial, and emotional costs. Our son came along, and was healthy and quite adorable. Major success story from the outside, right?

I was immediately plunged into a seemingly endless spiral of resentment and depression (the real kind, clinical, requiring seeing a psychiatrist and going on medication). I knew at a profound level that I Did Not Want This. It completely destroyed spontaneity and flexibility; everything needed planning, and our son like all very small children needed to be watched pretty much 24/7. All our friendships were put on hold, since getting out of the house even for planned things was difficult. Work and other obligations were missed whenever he got the sniffles. As he grew, things got better, somewhat. There were all manner of pointless activities that he didn't care much about (karate, swimming, 20 other things), constant trips to school, play date planning, things that, as far as I can tell, nearly every parent dislikes, and only few are vocally honest about.

The therapist told me that this was much more common than I'd guess, but there was a huge taboo about saying you simply hated being a parent. So, I googled "I hate being a parent" and, Lo: it was all over the place. People overcome by tedium and regret.

XpertThugGaming Report

My daughter was born mentally disabled. I alway tell myself it could be worse, that there are kids who just shake back and forth in wheelchairs... thing is she is happy now but has no concept of death and I can only imagine what it will be like when her mother and I are gone. She will be institutialized and abused probably.

Habanero10 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

It's like having a pet.

Except you have to feed, cloth, nurture, medicate, educate, enlighten, entertain, and always be there for them.

In short, it's a full time job that requires zero qualifications, the pay is potentially amazing and potencially horrible, and if you mess up badly enough you're going to jail.

grim698 , Aditya Romansa Report

I had kids because it was expected in the religion I was raised in. Now Im 31 with 4 kids ages 10, 9, 7, and 4. Left the religion but my 9 year old is disabled, completely nonverbal and in diapers. Will never be able to live independently. My youngest 2 have big speech delays. Honestly Im just exhausted. I didnt start dealing with my mental health issues until a few years ago and now Im in a better place but with the realization that I mentally probably shouldnt have had kids. Or at least not so many. On my bad days I really wish I wouldve left the church after marrying my husband but before having kids. Its just so hard. I cant ever let my guard down. Our house has multiple locks on every door, window, cabinet, fridge, you name it. My 9 year old has no concept of danger and will run off given any opportunity. One time the front door was left unlocked. I went pee and he had left the house and gone to the neighbors house. And theres no end in sight. This is my life now. Until I die. I will never ever let my kids see this side of me, they will always be loved and provided for. This is my s**t to deal with not theirs. Just a hard pill to swallow.

kissandsaygoodbi , Chris Curry Report

Definitely dont regret having mine, theyre awesome and they make my life wonderful.

That said, I sometimes feel guilty about the world I have brought them into, and wonder about whether having kids in general (bringing innocents into a world where they will definitely suffer) isnt immoral.

screaming__argonaut , Kinga Cichewicz Report

I don't regret it completely. But it is not the glowing contentment some would lead you to believe. I don't look forward to tucking her in night cause by then I'm beyond exhausted and have already read her her favorite book 20 x today. Shes 2 now and it's more like wrangling a monkey 24-7. Even the happiest monkey wranglers need a day off. Dont get me wrong: I love and respect her. But kids are not rational and reasonable.

I might feel better about it if our society recognized raising a child as worthwhile use of time. I choose to stay at home rather than let a daycare raise my child. I'm frequently asked when I'm going to "look for work". I know some of my friends look down on me because I'm putting family ahead of a slightly higher income. Some people think it's funny to joke with me how I don't have to "go to work" and how I enjoy "so much free time".

if you go out in public, expect someone to have a rude comment or sneer no matter what parenting style you use to solve a problem. Be prepared to hear that no matter what you do, you're not parenting right.

expect not to be promoted or hired if you're female with a pregnancy or young children. Maybe it's not legal but labor laws being what they are, employers don't care. Miss too many of work due to a sick child and you may end up unemployed.

We are a lot worse off financially than some would have you believe. And this is a planned healthy pregnancy and us having money in the bank first. I wish the stupid parenting blogs would stop saying kids aren't that expensive. Do you know that daycare costs more than state college tuition in many parts of the country?

So, having kids is great -- if you want to work 7 days a week, be short on sleep, not be appreciated, be BROKE, and have strangers making judgments.

funchy Report

As a parent, i feel the urgency to get drunk much more often.

anon Report

I think every parent regrets it at some point whether it's a flitting thought that is there and gone or a long conversation you have with yourself. Because it's f*****g hard work. I worked some shitty hard labor jobs when I was younger and none of them compare to being a parent, especially a full-time parent.

When you're up late cleaning puke out of the carpets for the fifth time in an hour; when you're running on 8 hours of sleep over the last three days and you feel like you just took acid to help with a hangover; when they're screaming bloody murder because you said they can't eat that cactus; when they purposely test the limits of your patience; when they're rude or ungrateful little shits despite living a life a thousand times better than you did.

It's as natural as the love you feel when they smile at you or laugh at something you did or cuddle up to you or do something for the first time and give you that feeling of "I did it, my human is humaning!"

You are a God to this tiny little person but you are also their Slave. It's easy to lose sight of yourself and/or your partner when you have this responsibility on your shoulders and it's easy to blame the kid for it.

Especially if you have kids too young. I was 26 when my son was born, and I had a lot of fun in those years of child-free adulthood. A lot of f*****g fun. And literally every person I know who had a kid before 21 has turned out to be a shitty parent, because they never get to experience being an adult.

Anyway, I got too high while writing this and forgot my point.

anon Report

This entire thread should be taught in high school sex ed. Most people don't realize what having a child is actually like. It is hard. It will change your life and relationships. It is not bad, people just need to have a more realistic understanding of what's involved. I had son that was born when I was 18, he is now 11. I was a kid, I did not do well with parenting and correctly sacrificing to work with his mother. We lasted about a year after he was born. I still get to hang out with him every-other weekend and talk to him on the phone when I can. I am 30 now and have a 7 mo with a woman I love. I was prepared this time. I learned everything I could about the birth process and newborns. I continue to learn every day. It is just amazing. Don't get me wrong, my wife and I are tired all the time, we don't have sex as often, or see our friends often enough but I was prepared for that. Life is a wonderful f****d up journey, educate yourself the best you can and do the best you can with the rest.

deltalimajuliet Report

Late to the party but hey ho.

I was a mother of three. The things that are often mentioned about lack of sleep, autonomy, money etc. are all valid. And they last much, much longer than you expect and they can drive you to near suicide at times. Especially when the second comes along and you're still not getting nearly enough sleep but now you have two on completely different schedules. But they do end, eventually.

But, and this is a big but, my biggest regret is my youngest, because she died at age 6. She had a brain tumour which made her blind and adversely affected her behaviour and she consumed my time and energy completely. Her loss nearly destroyed our family. I would not know the pain that I still feel if she had not been born, and I would not experience the guilt of feeling that things, on a practical level anyway, are now easier without her.

rollouttheredcarpet Report

I regret it because I'm miserable. Absolutely miserable. I feel like I got pressured into it by my wife. She wouldn't take no for an answer. Well we got f****d on the first pregnancy and had twins. Had only been married a year ish. After that my marriage went way past the s**tter and just got worse. After a while it got better and then she wanted another kid. I still didn't want the first two but I gave in. Now we have three. I'm even more miserable. I feel stuck and I can't please everyone. I work a s**t ton so my wife has them most of the time. Whenever I discipline them she screams at me because I'm not doing it her way. I'm constantly belittled by her and always told I'm doing something wrong. I actually hate my life. I've contemplated offing myself a few times but would feel bad for doing that to my kids. NOT my wife, my kids. I wake up every day hating myself, my life, and every f*****g choice I've ever made. If I could go back in time I would beat the s**t out of myself with a crowbar for even contemplating getting married. Literally would do anything to start over and be single for ever. I'm only 25 but I never would have thought I would hate life this much when I was 18.

cheetosnfritos , Nicola Barts Report

Three words: Pervasive developmental delay...

Those three words call my entire existence into question. I basically brought someone into this world to have a sh**ty time.

anon , mentatdgt Report

I love my son, but I'm just not cut out for the single mom life. I had kind of a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago and now my family is finally helping out with him. Before that it was 10 months with him, by myself, for 24 hours a day. I begged my family for help. Got nothing. So I lost it and tried to off myself. I just barely lived, and now they help with my son.

I hate myself for all this. I just hate myself so much.

baconnmeggs Report

I dont regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so Ive lived my entire adult life being a parent. Ive missed out on a lot and theyve missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent. Its very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like Im on the home stretch now. Almost. Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs.

whatthetaco , Whicdhemein One Report

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Nearly 40% of Americans Think $500K Is Enough To Retire — Are They Wrong? – GOBankingRates

Posted: at 8:25 am

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Its long been a rule of thumb that you should have $1 million saved for retirement, but most Americans today dont think you actually need that much. A recent GOBankingRates survey found that the majority of Americans (38%) believe that you need $500,000 or less to retire. Thirty percent believe you can retire with between $500,000 and $1 million, and just 14% believe you need between $1 million and $5 million to fund a comfortable retirement.

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So, is the majority right? GOBankingRates spoke to experts to find out if its actually possible to retire with $500,000 or less in savings.

Many financial experts caution against choosing your goal retirement amount based on any general rules of thumb. Instead, they recommend calculating your goal based on your own individual circumstances.

How much you need to retire is a math equation based upon your expenses, the age you retire at, how long you will live and investing assumptions, said Jay Zigmont, Ph.D., CFP, founder of Childfree Wealth. Each person has their own number and what they are willing to give up in retirement (or not).

To calculate how much you will need, you will need to figure out how much it would cost to maintain the standard of living you want, plus your withdrawal rate.

It is generally accepted in financial planning that for a secure retirement, you want to be able to withdraw from the capital gains or income from your portfolio without running down the principal, in order to be able to live on your pot in perpetuity, said Ben Waterman, co-founder and COO at Strabo, a global portfolio tracker.

There are a number of factors that go into the standard of living portion of this equation, including where you live. In fact, Anessa Custovic, Ph.D., investment advisor representative at Cardinal Retirement Planning, believes where you retire is the most important factor.

In some states, you can maybe comfortably retire with $500,000, but in others, you need almost $2 million, she said. Think about how different the cost of living is between a state like Mississippi and a state like Hawaii. In general, southern states are less expensive to retire in and have a lower cost of living.

Zigmont said that it is possible to retire with $500,000 in savings but this will likely not be enough for most people.

It is possible to retire on $500,000 if your expenses are less than about $20,000 per year, he said. For most people, this means having no debt and being in a low cost of living area. It also depends on when you are retiring. If you are retiring at 70 when you get the most from Social Security and have $500,000, you will be in a much better place than retiring at 60 with no Social Security or Medicare.

Its also possible to retire on $500,000 or less if you have access to a pension.

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If you have a pension that meets the majority of your expenses on a monthly basis, you likely wont need to have built up a huge nest egg over the years, said Kyle Wetters, CFP, co-founder and managing partner at Tenet Wealth Partners. Someone that needs to only take 4% from their savings annually versus someone who needs to draw 10% will have a much better chance of their savings lasting them through retirement.

Considering that many Americans dont have access to a pension plan, Waterman said that most people will need at least $1 million to retire comfortably, assuming they plan to live off of $50,000 per year.

To be able to retire on $500,000 with a living wage of $50,000 per year, you would be drawing down at 10%, which is a fair amount higher than the expected return on capital in public markets, he said. Accounting for down years and projecting conservatively, one could assume a 5% safe withdrawal rate, given that the stock market has returned on average a few percentage points higher than this. Youd therefore need exactly double $500,000, or $1 million, to be able to safely draw down at 5% and live comfortably with some leeway.

Once you know how much you will realistically need in retirement, you may find that youre not where you should be in terms of retirement savings. Fortunately, there are ways to catch up. If you are 50 or older, you are able to make what are known as catch-up contributions to pad your retirement savings.

Individuals age 50 and over can potentially contribute $6,000 plus an additional $1,000 per year to a traditional or Roth IRA, Wetters said. Within 401(k) and 403(b) plans, these same individuals may have the ability to contribute $20,500 plus an additional $6,500 per year to catch up.

If you are younger, time is on your side.

Start investing as soon as possible to take advantage of compound interest, Custovic said.

On the other hand, if you are nearing retirement, you may consider ways to cut back on your expected living costs.

Consider downsizing or moving in retirement, Custovic said. If you own a home and can sell it, take some of that equity and use it towards retirement.

I really need some hand holding. I’m a beginner and need help with budgeting and investing. Whats my first step? – MarketWatch

Posted: at 8:25 am

How to find a financial adviser if youre new to money management Getty Images/iStockphoto

Question: I definitely need a financial advisor. Im a beginner so I need someone who can take me by the hand and help me to understand what to do and why, in terms of budget and investments. What should be my first step? I really need some hand-holding. (Looking for a financial adviser too? You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.)

Answer: First up, kudos for recognizing that you need help with your finances. Were all beginners at one time and its great that youre asking for help, says certified financial planner Jay Zigmont, founder of Childfree Wealth. You say you definitely need a financial adviser and that may be true but whatever route you go in, you should also work on educating yourself about personal finance via books, websites, and more.

If you go the adviser route, Zigmont says it sounds like youll want an advice-only adviser, which means youre paying them for their time to help you learn, says Zigmont. Advice-only planners work either hourly or on a project basis and their rates can vary from $200 to $500 per hour or between $1,000 and $7,500 per plan. They wont manage assets for you, but instead help you to understand the many facets of your finances and where you should be focusing your efforts.

Danielle Miura, certified financial planner at Spark Financials, says its important to find an adviser who is willing to be your partner on your journey and understands your fears and values. Miura says, Any licensed financial adviser can give you advice about your budget and investments, but are they skilled enough to teach you?

Have an issue with your financial adviser or looking to hire a new one? Email picks@marketwatch.com.

A good first step in finding a planner is to think about the main things you want from an adviser. Understand what youre looking for and what you need. Do you need someone to teach you how to budget or just help you get set up with the right budgeting tool? Do you need an adviser to be a monthly accountability partner for your budget or can you stick to it on your own? By figuring out what you need and communicating that to the advisers you interview, itll better help you find an adviser thats going to offer the services you need as well as have a clearer expectation of what your adviser is going to do, says certified financial planner Kyle Hill of Hill-Top Financial Planning.

Looking for a financial adviser too? You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.

The good news is you have a lot of options. Start researching advisers and remember that you can work with someone remotely if youre comfortable doing that. A virtual relationship opens up many more possibilities and youre more likely to find somebody who is a perfect fit, says Justin Pritchard at Approach Financial. You can find fee-only advisers from directories at XY Planning Network, Garrett Planning Network and NAPFA.Its also wise to look at their regulatory and disciplinary background, adds Pritchard.

One of the most important things you can do during the adviser interview process is ask questions (this guide will help you understand what to ask). Dont be afraid to ask questions and say I dont understand. If they wont take the time to help you understand something or say its too complicated, then you need to find someone else. Find an adviser that has the heart of a teacher. Your job isnt to become an expert, but knowledgeable enough that you understand why youre doing what youre doing, says Hill.

Finally, have some conversations and speak with several advisers before making any decisions. Ask for details about their fees, services, what to expect and anything else on your mind youll learn a lot during that process, says Pritchard.

Looking for a financial adviser too? You can use this tool to get matched with a financial adviser who might meet your needs.

And adviser or not, you should immediately start saving money out of every paycheck if you can. Start with 1% of your income, direct deposited into a savings account with each paycheck, says certified financial planner Ken Robinson of Practical Financial Planning. After you get used to that, try increasing it by 1% and repeat until youre saving as much as you can with a goal of working toward saving 12% to 15% of your gross income, says Robinson.

Have an issue with your financial adviser or looking to hire a new one? Email picks@marketwatch.com.

The Advicer questions are edited for brevity and clarity.

The advice, recommendations or rankings expressed in this article are those of MarketWatch Picks, and have not been reviewed or endorsed by our commercial partners.

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Takeaways from Episode 1 of The U.S. and the Holocaust – – St. Louis Jewish Light

Posted: at 8:23 am

Jordan Palmer, Chief Digital Content OfficerPublished September 19, 2022

Within the first 10 minutes of Ken BurnsThe U.S. and the Holocaust I knew that I was going to learn things I never knew.

Part One starts with the U.S. governments enactment of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, the first time that admission to the United States was limited for people not born here. It concludes in 1938 just after Germany invades and occupies Austria.

My main takeaway was how U.S. public opinion opposed to immigration in the early 1930s was driven by outright racism and antisemitism, which even included officials inside our government. Denying visas had the effect of denying admission to, among others, Jews in Europe trying to flee the growing Nazi threat.

But the episodes greatest impact on me was the rapid growth during the Great Depression of U.S.-based Nazi supporters and other racist groups and the spread of fake-science claims thatnon-whites were biologically inferior to whites. This became known as the eugenics movement.

Burns throws out big names such as Rockefeller, Carnegie and even Helen Keller as some who supported and funded research into the American eugenics movement, but really focused on one man in particular one man I had never heard of until last night, Madison Grant.

Madison Grant was a key figure in the history of the National Park Service who left behind a troubling legacy. And its this legacy that Burns ties to the eventual rise of Adolf Hitler and his belief system.

While Grant supported environmental conservation and worked to protect plant and animal species like redwood trees and the American bison, he is best remembered for his support of eugenics.

In 1916 he wrote a book entitled The Passing of the Great Race, in which he spread racist ideas that he claimed were scientific.

His philosophies influenced policymakers of the day, who used the ideas of Grant and those who agreed with him to restrict immigration and to control peoples ability to have children.

Many white protestant Americans came to fear they were about to be outnumbered and outbred by the newcomers and their offspring. That they were being replaced, said the filmmakers in a narration by Peter Coyote. They embraced a new pseudo-science born in Great Britain called eugenics.

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Literally meaning to be well born, eugenicsis the belief that a society should improve itself by controlling peoples reproduction. Eugenicists believed that some groups of people should be prevented from having children.

Madison Grant was among those who invented elaborate systems for classifying people based on their real or perceived disabilities. Further, Grant and other eugenicists argued that certain racial groups were superior to others.

Grant alleged that this supposed Nordic race was in danger of going extinct. He claimed, without evidence, that immigration and racial intermarriage caused crime and political corruption. According to Grants racist hierarchy, any mixing between Nordics and the other groups he saw as inferior could not be tolerated. He believed it would doom the United States.

For Grant and many others, Jews were a distinct race, not considered white, dismissed as uncouth Asiatics, said Burns, via narrator Coyote in Episode 1.

Another powerful moment in Episode 1, came around 17 minutes in when Burns included the following quote from an actual former President of the United States.

I wish very much that the wrong people could be prevented entirely from breeding. And when the evil nature of these people is sufficiently flagrant, this should be done. Criminals should be sterilized and feeble-minded persons be forbidden from leaving offspring behind them, said Theodore Roosevelt.

The idea was that the bad people need to stop reproducing and the good people need to reproduce more. Negative eugenics says to sterilize the wrong people, snuff them out, and that is the eugenics the Nazis would pick up on, said historian Nell Irwin Painter.

If you missed Episode 1, you can watch it online.

To accommodate this primetime addition to their schedule, the air dates for The U.S. and the Holocaust have been adjusted. Episode two will now premiere on Tuesday, Sept. 20 at 7 pm, followed by episode three on Wednesday, Sept. 21 at 7 pm.

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Lloyd Benes: Challenging 8 arguments that support unrestricted abortion – Loveland Reporter-Herald

Posted: at 8:23 am

I would like to understand if any people support Gov. Polis and the Democrats of the Colorado Legislature who passed HB22-1279, which says a fertilized egg, embryo, or fetus does not have independent or derivative rights under the laws of the state. Passage of that law this April codified into law abortion for any reason through nine months of pregnancy. Here are eight arguments from state leaders supporting this law followed by my responses challenging them. I then provide an e-mail at the end for people to comment and tell me their reasons, if they support this law.

1. A fertilized egg, embryo or fetus is not human life: Have you considered that over 5,200 biologists say that a humans life begins at fertilization?

2. Abortion is a gentle procedure: While this may be partially true for the mother, it is not for the unborn baby. My guest opinion of Aug. 15 in the RH revealed that 40% of abortions in the US are performed by dismembering the unborn child while alive.

3. Abortion is a constitutional right: Did you know that the 14th Amendment forbids states from depriving any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law?

4. An embryo or fetus is not a person till their brain is fully developed: Neuroscientists say brain development does not end till age 25. Does it not follow that those who claim an embryo is not a person because its brain is not fully developed will have to apply that to all human life less than 25 years old?

5. Religious pro-abortionists have said that God has not breathed personhood into a child before it takes its first breath: Actually, the Bible says, you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb (Psalm 139:13, NIV). Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV).

6. Abortion restrictions have damaging effects on the economy: Janet Yellin (former Federal Reserve head) said at a Senate Banking Committee hearing, that eliminating the right of women to make decisions about when and whether to have children would have very damaging effects on the economy. Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) pressed her, arguing that framing the issue of abortion around labor force participation feels callous to me. Ill just say that as a guy raised by a Black woman in abject poverty, I am thankful to be here as a United States senator. (https://www.politico.com/news/2022/05/10/yellen-banning-abortion-damaging-to-economy-00031339 ). Abortion for such economic reasons is applied eugenics. Eugenics is the theory that society can be improved through planned breeding for desirable traits. In April 2021, Planned Parenthood acknowledged that Margaret Sanger (founder of Planned Parenthood) caused irreparable damage to the health and lives of generations of Black people, Latino people, Indigenous people, immigrants, people with disabilities, people with low incomes. (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/uploads/filer_public/cc/2e/cc2e84f2-126f-41a5-a24b-43e093c47b2c/210414-sanger-opposition-claims-p01.pdf ). How many superlative people with low incomes have been lost to our country through the 62 million abortions performed since 1973? If Tim Scott could become a Senator, how many more like him have we lost?

7. Abortion restrictions are racist: Since the percentage of U.S. abortions for Black women is 3.6 times that of white women, this appears to be another application of eugenics. (https://abcnews.go.com/Health/abortion-restrictions-disproportionately-impact-people-color/story?id=84467809 ). What if we advanced the idea that Black lives matter instead of eugenics? It appears that pushing abortion for any reason through nine months of pregnancy might be the actual racist policy.

8. My body, my choice: Please consider that Charles Cooke reveals that with abortion, were not really talking about the mothers body, but about the other body at stake. And, while there is no doubt that pregnancy can be difficult, it is the other body that is facing certain death during an abortion. (https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2021/11/29/the-secular-case-against-abortion/ )

If you approve of abortion for any reason through nine months of pregnancy, help me understand your reasons by e-mailing me atlloydbenes50@gmail.com.If you disapprove, join me in opposing Gov. Polis and the Democrats of the Colorado Legislature who passed HB22-1279, which codified abortion-on-demand through birth in Colorado. The midterm elections are upon us, so please choose wisely.

Lloyd Benes is a retired mechanical engineer and Loveland resident.

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Monthly Archives: September 2022

Russia-Ukraine war: medics killed by Russian strike during evacuation of hospital, says Kharkiv governor as it happened – The Guardian

How Putin’s Invasion Of Ukraine Produced A Windfall For Enviva’s Wood Pellets Business – Forbes

15 Awesome Reasons To Be Childfree By Choice – Bonobology.com

Verena Brunschweigers Do Childfree People Have Better Sex? Is A Lot …

r/childfree – "…and most importantly, a mom." -NASA astronaut …

50 Parents Get Raw And Honest About What They Regret About Having Kids – Bored Panda

Nearly 40% of Americans Think $500K Is Enough To Retire — Are They Wrong? – GOBankingRates

I really need some hand holding. I’m a beginner and need help with budgeting and investing. Whats my first step? – MarketWatch

Takeaways from Episode 1 of The U.S. and the Holocaust – – St. Louis Jewish Light

Lloyd Benes: Challenging 8 arguments that support unrestricted abortion – Loveland Reporter-Herald

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