Monthly Archives: May 2022

byAdminMay 9, 2022, 1:18 am

Human rights activist, KolaEdokpayi, has commended one of his friendswho married a second wife on Sunday, May 8.

According to Edokpayi, the man married another woman with the approval of his first wife.

Today, the 8th day of May, 2022, we attended the marriage of my Follower who got married to his second wife with the approval of his first wife, he wrote.

We are gradually winning the fight to legalize Polygamy in our system. We need to go back to our root.

The White Men who demonized Polygamy and brought monogamy to Africa but adopt lesbianism and homosexualism are our enemies that want our girls to remain single on the streets while they indirectly practice polygamy with the high rate of divorce.

We should not wait for the White Men to legalize Polygamy for us as Africans before we adopt it.

I want to appeal to our Churches to approve the wedding of a man getting married to a second wife.

Congratulations to Comrade. You have demonstrated that you are a real man. God bless you.

Read Full Story At: LIB.

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"We are gradually winning the fight to legalize polygamy" - Human rights activist, Kola Edokpayi - The Paradise News

FX's new series "Under the Banner of Heaven" dramatizes the real-life 1984 murder of Brenda Lafferty and her 15-month-old child in a Mormon community.

Told through the perspective of fictional detective Jeb Pyre (played by Andrew Garfield), the series, like the bestselling 2003 book before it, links the brutal crime to the history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Showrunner Dustin Lance Black grew up in the church. The acclaimed screenwriter behind Big Love and Milk worked to adapt the book for years before it took form as a miniseries.

While Black has detailed the extensive research he put into the series, others including columnist and author Jana Riess feel the show mischaracterizes the faith. Shes senior columnist for Religion News Service and author of The Next Mormons: How Millennials are Changing the LDS Church.

The most troubling aspect to me is the basic idea that if you simply scratch under the surface of a seemingly respectable religion, all sorts of violent acts and thoughts are going to come pouring out, Riess says. I just don't think that that's true of my people.

On how the series represents everyday members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

So let's talk about the good things first This character played by Andrew Garfield, he is a loving family man. He's trying to do his best with this horrific murder case. What he discovers as he investigates the case is that it deals with offshoot Mormon groups that still practice polygamy [the practice of marrying of multiple wives]. In Mormon history, both Joseph Smith and Brigham Young and several other key leaders practiced polygamy. They believed it was a religious principle. I have my doubts about that, to be honest. But it is a fact of Mormon history that this happened.

On how the show links early Mormon history to the 1984 Lafferty murders

So it goes back to look at Joseph Smith, the founding prophet, and then his successor, Brigham Young. After Joseph Smith was assassinated, Brigham Young took over and took the Mormons West. And it kind of draws this straight line to the present day and makes the case that Mormonism has not changed at all.

"I really don't [think that's fair]. And it's not because I am incapable of being critical of my church. In my column, I do take the church to task sometimes for various things like the role of women, like the history that denied African-Americans the right to be blessed in the temple. There are things that I criticize about the church.

On whether the Under the Banner of Heaven properly distinguishes between extremists and mainstream Mormons

I think it is trying to do so and I think it does a better job at that than the book did. I would also say that with the dramatization, particularly of Brigham Young, that is told in these flashbacks into Mormon history, later on in the series around episode five, they're making this claim. It's a little bit subtle, but it seems to be there: that Brigham Young somehow engineered the death of Joseph Smith and that he was, "running the church in the months before Joseph's death." I had to rewind that and make sure that I was hearing it correctly, because that is so completely not true. Brigham Young wasn't even in Nauvoo, which is where the Mormons were living at the time. He was on a mission in the Eastern states that was part religious and part also as a campaign for Joseph Smith's run for president. So he wasn't even on the scene. And so for the show to make a claim that he is somehow engineering these events that culminate in the assassination of Joseph Smith is really problematic.

On how the show links polygamy to the Lafferty murders

So the Lafferty brothers, again, these are the in-laws that Brenda, the one who winds up getting murdered, has married into. This is the family. Several of the brothers become enamored of early church teachings, not only polygamy, but a very violent teaching called blood atonement. They kind of resurrect that and use it as justification for killing people who they see as enemies of God, including Brenda, who was more progressive and not as obedient as they felt that women should be.

On how the show portrays women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

In some ways, I think that is more accurate. You know, that particular clip is of Brenda and her young husband who, of his brothers, they are probably the most progressive in that she has a college education. She wants to have a career. And the early 1980s, the time in which this is set, is a time when the prophet of the LDS Church tells women, you need to be home with your children. The church has changed a lot in that way as well. There's so much more work to be done. But work has happened since the early 1980s. Absolutely.

On how the show depicts violence in Mormon history, particularly the Mountain Meadows Massacre

Well, it's told in flashbacks. So the crime actually happened in 1857. In fact, it was on Sept. 11, which people have seen as a significant coincidence. This emigrant train is coming from Arkansas on their way to California. And when they're passing through Utah, they get into a skirmish that winds up far, far worse than that. And 120 some emigrants are killed, including children over the age of 8. It's the most chilling episode in all of Mormon history. I think we don't talk about it enough in the church. We don't have those conversations that we need to be having, of how could this have happened among our people? So if there's good work that will be done in the Mormon community because of Under the Banner of Heaven, perhaps that will be part of it. But to somehow claim that that was anything more than an anomaly in Mormon history, to claim that that is the underlying drive of 16 plus million people who are members of this faith is a fallacy.

On whether the show brings up important issues for church members to address

I think that there are a number of historical events and theological concepts that Mormons have not grappled with publicly in the way that we probably should. What we've seen in the last decade in particular within the LDS Church is a greater emphasis on being transparent about history. The church has made the entire corpus of Joseph Smith's papers available to the public. So there's nothing hidden. There's still progress to be made. But it's starting.

James Perkins Mastromarinoproduced and edited this interview for broadcast withGabe Bullard. Perkins Mastromarinoalso adapted it for the web.

Go here to read the rest:

What 'Under the Banner of Heaven' gets right and wrong about Mormons - WBUR News

By breaking century old traditions, Parukutty Neithyaramma inspired The Cochin Nair Regulation of 1920, which banned polygamy, legalised Sambandham, and streamlined inheritance rights

By breaking century old traditions, Parukutty Neithyaramma inspired The Cochin Nair Regulation of 1920, which banned polygamy, legalised Sambandham, and streamlined inheritance rights

A sepia-toned photograph of Parukutty Neithyaramma, the queen consort of Raja Rama Varma XV1 of Cochin with her great grandson, Raghu Palat, is an endearing throwback. The regal matriarch stands beside a baby capped and clothed in woolens sitting pretty in a pram.

In the preface of the recently launched book Destinys Child-The Undefeatable Reign of Cochins Parukutty Neithyaramma, written by Raghu Palat and his wife Pushpa, it throws light on the royal who despite her seminal contributions to the people and state of Cochin has been relegated to the back pages of history.

Raghu, a banker and Pushpa, a former journalist have been writing alongside their careers for decades. They began their writing partnership with the first book, The Case That Shook The Empire (2019) on Raghus great grandfather Sir Chettur Sankaran Nair, the only Indian member of the Viceroys Executive Council at that time.

We are focusing on writing about Kerala rulers and personages and have begun with members of our family, as it was easier and we already had collected a lot of information on them, says Raghu.

Parukutty entered into Sambandham an informal form of marriage that allowed consensual relationships but no co-habitation between Nairs and Thampurans at the age of 14 to a prince, 17 years her elder, with white hair and sixth in the line of accession. As her sambandhi had not visited her, Parukuttys father took the bold decision to take her to her sambandhi Kunji Kiddavus Palace in Thrippunithura. Cochin was ruled at that time by Sir Kerala Varma V, (1888- 1895) and the kingdom was spread over 1,362 square kilometres comprising Chittur, Cochin, Cranganore, Kanayannur, Mukundapuram, Trichur and Talapilly.

Taken aback by their arrival , Kunji Kiddavu, directed her to be housed in the outhouse. Horrified by its state of disrepair shes believed to have told the prince, I did not come all the way to live in this wretched outhouse.Bemused and impressed at the same time by the courage of the gritty girl, who was not even five feet tall,, the prince permitted her to stay in the palace.

By moving in, Parukutty became the first Nair woman to break a centuries-old tradition. The inequity of Sambandham meant that the woman and her children could not inherit the property of the partner, who also had no responsibility for their maintenance. To correct this, after Kunji Kiddavu and Parukutty ascended the throne, The Cochin Nair Regulation of 1920 was passed, which banned polygamy, legalised Sambandham, and streamlined inheritance and property rights.

Imagine the ramifications of this one step taken by the prince and her, says Pushpa adding that the Nair women and the Thampurattis (the royal women) ostracized her for this daring step. She stopped going to the family temple as snide remarks were hurled at her. Parukutty reportedly once told her great-grandsons, You have no idea about the bad things they said about me. But I always considered it beneath my notice.

After extensive research, including conversations with family members, ferreting archives and reading through many documents, including letters, the authors say that Parukutty was a woman who was ahead of her times.

Parukutty Neithayaramma with her great grandson Raghu Palat

On a visit to Chennai, where she was impressed by the Rani of Pudukottais spoken English, she urged the prince to have her tutored in the language.The prince, who by now had gauged his consorts intelligence and acumen also appointed teachers to teach her agriculture and Math along with English.

When by a sudden twist of fate, in 1914 the prince was crowned as King. Parukutty, 39 that year, though caught unawares, rose to the occasion. She graced the Hill Palace, the Rajas main house, the Thrippunithura Palace in Cochin, with dignity dealing with staff and court attendants with a maturity that surprised even the Raja.

Realising that the British were on the lookout for any reason to annex Cochin to British Malabar, she pitched for an urgent need to boost the States finances. By this time, the Raja had begun to depend heavily on her opinions. Parukutty urged him to focus on the plight of the people and not use the State exchequer to fund Capital projects. Soon a slew of public works like the establishment of schools and hospitals were started.She also encouraged the setting up of an agricultural college, something that was close to her heart and was instrumental in increasing the salaries of government employees. For her social work King George V awarded her a Gold Kaiser -i-Hind medal and she came to be known as Lady Rama Varma.

As the couple went about jointly fulfilling their royal duties, Parukutty only grew in stature. She hosted the Nair custom, Thalikettu Kalyanam, a matrilineal form of marriage, for the young girls from the two branches of her tharavad, (ancestral family home) a grand four-day affair. It upset the Thampurattis but Parukutty was strategically planning her daughters wedding with Sir Chettur Sankaran Nairs, son, Ramunni Menon Palat. With the alliance the Cochin State grew in prestige.

A telling incident of her strategic planning to achieve results was also seen in small acts, like securing Lord and Lady Willingdons support to build a harbour in Cochin. The couple met the Willingdons in Ooty.She had the Raja dress in his royal clothes with bejewelled turban and all the accoutrements of royalty. She wore an elegant white sari herself, says Pushpa. When they entertained the couple in Cochin, a grand banquet was held at the Durbar Hall. Parukutty knew exactly what would please the Willingdons, she states.

Raghu and Pushpa Palat

Parukutty surrounded the Raja and herself with loyalists, letting the English Diwan retire and pitching for an Indian one. She also struck down a few appointments and had her relatives placed in important positions. When the Raja fell grievously ill, in 1931, no news was allowed to leave the Palace. Finally, when the end came in 1932, she decided to move out of the palace to Thrissur. The town owes a lot to her as she then got many infrastructure works done, acquired land and built public projects.

Over the last years of her life, Parukutty chose to live between her home in Thrissur and in the hills of Conoor at her house, Homedale, where the charming photo with Raghu was taken. She passed away in 1963 in her home in Coonoor.

Even as a great grandmother, Parukutty was strict, remembers Raghu, She was not indulgent but was loving, he adds, recounting how she gave only a rupee as kaineettam, a customary gift from elders to children on Vishu, a cultural festival of Kerala that marks its New Year. Not a paisa more or less.

Did familiarity come in the way of writing about a family member? No, says Raghu categorically. Her life and how she lived it speaks for itself. She carved her own destiny. This is a story that had to be told.

More here:

A new book throws fresh light on Parukutty Neithyaramma, the queen consort of Cochin State - The Hindu

King Westt, son of the former National Union of Road Transport Workers chairman, MC Oluomo, has sparked speculations and reactions on Instagram after he made a passionate appeal to men who intend to dabble in polygamy.

In a post sighted online, Westt disclosed that the only way to avoid future problems is to stay married to just one woman.

In his words:

See the post below:

mseroticaa:

beautyatbayng:

just_jenny7:

deliciouskitchen25:

dbal81:

adunni12:

dakkilola:

khaddy_ko:

Meanwhile, the ex-Lagos state chairman of NURTW, MC Oluomo had earlier celebrated adding another year to his age.

MC Oluomo shared a lovely no sound video of himself on Instagram and said some amazing things to praise himself. He also thanked God for the new age.

The socialite reflected on the past, grateful to God for the present, and remained optimistic about what is coming as he declared that the outgone year was a challenging one for him.

Source: Legit.ng

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Avoid Problems for Your Future: MC Oluomo's Son King Westt Passionately Begs Men to Marry Just 1 Wife - Legit.ng

It makes sense why "what is monogamy?" feels like a trick question, considering how it's been culturally, socially, and systematically ingrained into our modern, Westernized understanding and definition of relationships. But just because it's the majority norm and narrative doesn't mean it's the only way to be romantically involved with another person.

Throw it back to the very foundation of the United States which, despite the separation of church and sate, was largely based on religion. "Observance of Christian-model monogamy was made to stand for customary boundaries in society, morality, and civilization; [it] became a synecdoche for everything valued in the American way of life," explains historian Nancy Cott, PhD, professor of American History at Harvard University in her book Public Vows: A History of Marriage.

Basically, religious underpinnings lingered and influenced culture, making monogamous, single-partner marriages the prevailing norm and social narrative for relationships. Similarly, most of the systems in the U.S. today are built upon the structure of monogamy.

Take your tax documents, for instance. "There isn't a tax structure for three parents or three or four people in a relationship," says Dr. Jenni Skyler, PhD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and director of The Intimacy Institute. "It was constructed for a monogamous couple."

There's also a biological component to why you were taught that monogamy is the right way to have a relationship: the need to feel safe and survive. "The sense of securityemotionally, logistically, and financiallythat a two-person household brings to the family is a key component in terms of what has been the norm for a while," explains Dr. Skyler.

And of course, you can't forget about the long-standing shame and stigma surrounding other relationship types. Being in a relationship construct that's not the majority feels othering, Skyler says. When it comes to non-monogamous relationships, "we're still catching up to that being an understandable and accepted option in our culture and society," she adds.

Nowadays, "people are becoming more conscious of the kind of relationship structure that they want to be in, and which one they'll thrive in," says Dr. Megan Fleming, PhD, a sex and relationship expert based in New York City. Ultimately, it's your own decision to choose monogamy or a different kind of relationship.

You can look at monogamy in two ways: clinically, and culturally. Clinically, monogamy is having one partner for life, explains Skyler. Some religious people decide to wait for marriage and never date anyone except the person they marry.

But culturally, monogamy is defined as sexual and emotional exclusivity and only being with one partner at a time.

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While monogamy appears to be the most common relationship style in the U.S., various cultures and societies around the world don't carry out the practice. Polygamy is widespread in a cluster of countries in West and Central Africa, including Burkina Faso, Mali, and Nigeria, according to a Pew Research Study. TLC's reality series, Sister Wives, has followed the polygamist Brown family from Utah around since 2010 as well.

And in the true clinical sense where monogamy is mating for life, "very few of us actually do that," says Skyler. "What we do is serial monogamy, where we date one person exclusively, break up, then date another person exclusively."

So, if you look at it that way, you're actually not really designed for true monogamy, Skyler adds. "We're designed to evaluate many people before we sort of settle down and then we're designed to shift and change and need different things."

The exact opposite of monogamy is non-monogamy, meaning no exclusivityemotionally and/or sexuallyin a relationship. Ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy (ENM) is an established transparency and agreement between partners to have more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time. "It's not cheating; rather [it's] an intentional part of the relationship, so there are no secrets and no going behind backs," says Skyler.

You might've noticed ENM or other kinds of open relationship structures rise in popularity. "As there's more visibility in society, social media, and news, people realize it's a relationship option to consider," Skyler says of the trend.

Anecdotally, she adds, "I've seen a lot of couples or partnerships where they agree to ethical non-monogamy, and it's a way to really get their sexual and emotional needs diversely met."

That said, ENM is just one of many different approaches to a non-monogamous relationship.

Figuring out which kind of relationship structure is best-suited to your needs and wants can be overwhelming, especially if you've lived your life thinking there's only one way to have a relationship. But, like gender identity and sexuality, there's been a greater cultural shift toward acceptance and exploration to discover what works for you.

"Like sex, anal's not a neutral word. Most people have feelings about it, whether or not they've actually tried it," says Fleming. The same thing goes for different kinds of relationshipslike non-monogamy, polyamory, triad, and the like. "It's experiential learning," says Fleming, meaning you might need to try various relationship types in order to find your best fit.

In need of some assistance? You can use these expert-approved checklists to find out whether or not monogamy might be the right choice for you:

One way to have a better relationship with your S.O. is by understanding each other's love languages...

Communication is key to all relationshipsmonogamous or not. If it's early in the connection, find out each other's expectations when it comes to exclusivity. Ask questions like, "What's your relationship style?" or "What are your terms of exclusivity?," suggests Skyler. If you're not on the same page, "Don't go wasting time and energy on this person to change themin either direction," says Skyler.

It gets a li'l trickier when you're already in an established relationship. Every couple is different, but if you have a very open, easy, communication pattern with your partner, then you can share your curiosity like, "I was thinking about this...what are your thoughts?" and have it be more of an evolving conversation, suggests Skyler.

For couples who don't talk as openly about sex or fantasies, it's likely a tough conversation to bring up. "My invitation is to say, 'Hey, I'd love to sit down with you at some point and talk about something I've been kicking around, when is good for you?' which is sort of my protocol for all hard conversations," says Skyler. Find a time when you're both calm and grounded and uninterrupted to introduce something new to your relationship.

Whether you're moving from monogamous to open, or from open to monogamous, don't stigmatize either side. "I always say to my monogamous clients that there's a lot to learn from the open community," says Skyler. "In order for open to work successfully, there has to be a lot of trust, transparency, and communication. But that's true for monogamy, too you can't just keep your mouth shut and assume because you're monogamous, it's safe. That's when cheating and secrets happen."

Monogamous or not, communication, trust, and transparency make or break any type of relationship structure.

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What Is A Monogamous Relationship? - Is Monogamy Right For You? - Women's Health